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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sen son not allowed in play centre party hewas invited to

150 replies

Justrealised · 26/03/2022 17:57

My son was invited to a party. First party invite in years. It was fir a child a few years younger than him. He has many diagnoses and has learning difficulties, severe autism.... he understood that he was going to a party and was excited to go. We turned up, went into be told that he hand to stand against a sign (not a height sign, a please do not run sign), he was a cm over, one lousy cm. They wouldn't let him in, they offered to put some balls on a table for him so he could watch the others play. We left, he was so upset it was awful. He didn't understand why we left, he doesn't have that level of understanding. He was heart broken. I'm heartbroken for him. No AIBU really, I'm just venting and looking for opinions. They could have let him in couldn't they.

OP posts:
LabelMaker · 26/03/2022 17:59

They have a height restriction for a reason

doadeer · 26/03/2022 18:00

I think that's so crap really and they should have let him, it was clearly a one off

VyeBrator · 26/03/2022 18:03

Poor thing, that must've been so upsetting for him.

But safety rules are there for a reason and if the child(ren) were younger than him, the staff were probably worried they could get hurt by an older child running/playing, which is normally why they have these rules in place.

PonyPatter44 · 26/03/2022 18:03

@LabelMaker

They have a height restriction for a reason
She said quite clearly that the sign was not a height sign. I think this is really brutal, OP, and I am so sorry it happened to you. I am afraid I would name the soft play, so that noone else with SEN children tries to do the same thing.
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 26/03/2022 18:03

I suspect it's for the physical safety of children and they have to draw a line somewhere.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 26/03/2022 18:05

@LabelMaker

They have a height restriction for a reason
I cannot imagine how anyone could read that OP and then post this. Really.

I'm so sorry, OP. They should have let him in, your poor boy.

Turningpurple · 26/03/2022 18:05

Yeah they could let him in.

But then it causes issues with other people wanting to bring their older kids. The kinds who are only 2cm over.

They have these rules for a reason. Usually, because bigger kids rubbing round doesn't always mix with smaller kids running round and places open to all sizes are often disliked by alot if parents.

I am really surprised the mum of the birthday child, didnr think of this when inviting a child much older.

I am so sorry it happened though. Flowers

mathanxiety · 26/03/2022 18:05

Did they allow him to take off his footwear to be measured?

FairyCakeWings · 26/03/2022 18:06

How disappointing for you both. I don't think they could have let him in, it will be to do with their insurance probably. I can understand how upsetting it would have been though, and I hope you both feel better soon

Twizbe · 26/03/2022 18:07

Super disappointing for you.

Same happened to me as a child as I'm tall. It was horrible.

No real advice just sympathy.

VyeBrator · 26/03/2022 18:08

She said quite clearly that the sign was not a height sign.

But clearly they know the height of the sign to be able to see he was 1cm over it?

Turningpurple · 26/03/2022 18:08

She said quite clearly that the sign was not a height sign. I think this is really brutal, OP, and I am so sorry it happened to you. I am afraid I would name the soft play, so that noone else with SEN children tries to do the same thing.

I dont think it needs to be a hieght sign. Just something they use to measure kids against. I would bet they have their rules in display.

Hugasauras · 26/03/2022 18:08

What a shame SadI can understand why it happened but it was obviously horrible for you and your son. It does seem poorly communicated and organised. I'm not sure our soft play has any height limits. Parents etc are free to go on most of the equipment except a couple that have signs and I quite often see older siblings helping little ones on various bits, so can't imagine an arbitrary height limit. There are some age-segregated areas that are only for under 2s etc.

SouthOfFrance · 26/03/2022 18:08

What soft play was it? Is there anything mentioned on their website?

shinynewapple22 · 26/03/2022 18:08

I'm so sorry OP - your poor DS Sad

MyDcAreMarvel · 26/03/2022 18:10

How can it not be a height sign if it was a cm over I don’t understand?

Blanketpolicy · 26/03/2022 18:11

She said quite clearly that the sign was not a height sign

It might not be a height sign, but a sign set at a certain height and used for this purpose.

They would have been breaking their health and safety conditions /insurance letting taller children in. Feel sorry for OPs ds, but the venue did the right thing.

Original poster
Justrealised · 26/03/2022 18:11

I'm really upset by it. I thought about doing a facebook post but what good will it do really? I guess when he was smaller/ younger these things weren't as problematic but as he gets bigger physically but doesn't mature in the same way this is going to become more of a problem. 1 bloody cm!

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 26/03/2022 18:11

Because it was just a random sign, there was no signage to say 'you must be under this to enter the play area'. Obviously they use it as a height sign, but it doesn't sound like it was well advertised in that case.

reallyworriedjobhunter · 26/03/2022 18:12

They made up a reason to exclude a SEN child. I have a SEN child and have experienced this too.

I'm sorry for your little boy op. That's utterly shit.

Soubriquet · 26/03/2022 18:12

I’ve never known a soft play that has maximum height restrictions

My local one even books theirs out for adult parties! Though I can barely fit through half the stuff

Poor kid

Lwren · 26/03/2022 18:13

As a mum with a autistic child I just wanna hug you.
You know what tho OP? Your kid got invited! It means that your kiddo has a friend!
I'm so sorry this happened, but an invite is so rare and lovely for kids such as ours.
Anyone who comments on this harshly will never understand the devastating task of explaining to a child with limited comprehension that they can't do something they were excited and built up to do.
Please take any comments that don't want to listen to your vent seriously, they don't get it. Only bother with those who do get it, because this is hugely unfair 💐💐

VyeBrator · 26/03/2022 18:14

@Soubriquet

I’ve never known a soft play that has maximum height restrictions

My local one even books theirs out for adult parties! Though I can barely fit through half the stuff

Poor kid

Perhaps it's area dependent but I've always known them to have them.

The adult parties don't matter because they wouldn't be mixing children in with the adults.

Turningpurple · 26/03/2022 18:16

@Soubriquet

I’ve never known a soft play that has maximum height restrictions

My local one even books theirs out for adult parties! Though I can barely fit through half the stuff

Poor kid

I think each one has its own rules.

We used one that doesn't for the main part of the soft play, but it does have a minimum height for the main part.

The other smaller ones do. Even the ones that book adult parties. The adult parties take place when kids aren't there. So there's maximum height for daytimes when kids are playing. No height restriction when adult parties are booked. The adult parties book the whole place so there wouldn't be kids.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 26/03/2022 18:17

Most of these places have adults running around anyway!

YANBU to be disappointed. Your poor son. I'd carefully go through the website looking for height/age restrictions and put in a formal complaint if one is not obvious. FWIW I have seen disabled adults having a ball of a time in Soft play and in play parks and often think it would be lovely if there was dedicated sessions for them so they could play without the worry of small children getting in the way.