Woman yelling at me because I wanted to avoid her dog

[Matleave2022]

I was walking along a reasonably narrow path with trees either side this morning and I had DS (4 months old) with me in a reclined buggy.

I spotted a couple (maybe in their late 50s or early 60s) coming towards me with an agressive looking breed of dog. I decided that I didn't want to take the risk, so without saying anything to them, I politely stopped in the path, stood in front of DS's buggy and waited for them to pass.

I want to stress that I said absolutely nothing to them as they were approaching. However, as they got close, the woman in the couple started yelling at me about how "My dog isn't going to eat your baby." "My dog is fine". "I think you are being overprotective".

My response was that I didn't know her from Adam, so why on earth would I trust a random stranger telling me that her dog was OK.

She continued to yell about me being overprotective and that me stopping in the path was "scaring" her dog. My only response was to tell her that she was being ridiculous to expect strangers to trust her assertions about her large dog, and I walked on once she had finally passed me.

I could have understood her reaction if I had said something like "keep your dog away from us" when I stopped, but I was silent and patiently waiting for her, her partner and the dog to pass.

It seems batshit that she got offended by me silently choosing to stop and not take the chance that her dog could go for the buggy. AIBU?

If there was a dog around my baby, I'd be keeping a very watchful eye on them both. I'm not a dog lover and know that even a euphemistic "nip" (ie a bite) can cause damage.
It wouldn't make any difference if their owners assured me that their pets were "big softies", "soft as butter", "only likely to lick you to death ho ho!" etc, or called them cuter-sounding abbreviations like "staffy" or "rottie" (a German Shepherd could be a "germy", I guess).

However, I'd hope I could manage this without being ageist.
If the owners spontaneously yelled at me across the small distance of a narrow pathway I wouldn't argue back: I'd be getting my baby away from these people who:

1. outnumber me;
2. have a potentially dangerous dog and
3. are given to suddenly yelling random statements like "My dog isn't going to eat your baby", "My dog is fine" and "I think you are being overprotective" without warning or provocation as that sounds like absolutely mad behaviour. I certainly wouldn't stick around to wonder if I was being patronised.

"A baby in a pram isn't going to cause an aggressive looking dog to be completely out of control and eat the baby on the spot."

I've been given the " he doesn't like prams excuse" a few times by owners whose dogs run towards us barking loudly.

[quote Matleave2022]@Blackbutler86 by "aggressive" I mean a big, powerful, breed of dog. You can call that "higher potential to be aggressive" if you would prefer.[/quote]
Lol. I was torn about your response until I read this ridiculous comment.

Just coz a dogs big doesn’t mean it’s going to be aggressive 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Wrap yourselves up in cotton wool and stay indoors why don’t you.

This couple probably encounter similar reactions whilst out with their dog, and just snapped. l must admit after my elderly lurcher passes.,.l have no desire to get another dog, it is such bloody hard walking a dog now, the hysteria and anxiety is at an all time high and it takes all the joy out of it.

I had to before when my DS was 6m. Another dog had recently jumped on the buggy so I moved away from a couple with two pulling bully breeds and then he shouted at me. The man was vile but I couldn't believe the women let him talk to me that way. So for me they were as bad as each other.

@Ori18

To stand actually in front of the buggy though? That’s odd. Why did you feel the need to do that? It makes quite a statement - you didn’t need to say anything

To stop the dog affixing it's head in. She couldn't stop that from behind and you simply can't trust dog owners to not think it's great for their dog to impose on people's space

@Ozanj

Its possible they’ve had a similar argument with their kids and so can’t see their gc. Don’t let it take up too much headspace. People who care more about dogs than human babies are scum of the earth.

Projection much !!

I will tell you now I groomed and trained dogs for over 20 years. The only dog breeds that has ever bitten me was chihuahuas and terriers. They also show the most aggression. Funnily enough bull breeds i.e mastiffs, staffies, etc are very tolerant and even natured.
Please do not think a dog will act a certain way due to breed it is very much how they are trained and raised.

@Ionlydomassiveones

This thread just shows how lacking in compassion and empathy some dog owners really have. Not to mention the arrogance and entitlement of all the ‘I would’ve eye rolled…’

Strangers don’t know anything about the dog - and dog owners time and time again prove themselves unreliable, inconsiderate and oblivious. YANBU op but you’ll never be in the right because the dog owning public by and large think that their dog is worth far more than your baby. It’s disgusting.

What are you talking about? I have children too. I have managed to walk around with my children for the past 15 years now meeting strange dogs on walks without once ever being set upon by them and without ever cowering or guarding my children from them. 'Dog owners' are very often parents too, I have only been a dog owner for the past 3 years, long after I became a parent. And yeah if I say someone guarding their child from what seems to have been a well behaved, on lead dog before I was a dog owner they would have got an internal eye roll from me then too, ridiculous dramatics are pathetic.

@Ionlydomassiveones why is it entitled to eye roll? I'm allowed to have my opinion on peoples daft stereotypes just like the op is allowed to have her opinions on certain breeds.

That doesn't make me irresponsible or entitled. Bizarre.

Better safe than sorry. You hadn’t done anything wrong.

YADNBU op.
When my dd was 2. A teenage Alsatian ran up to her, knocked her over and stood over her. My 2yo was crying with terror. I demanded the owner get her dog away from my child. The owner laughed and said I was being ridiculous because "its only a puppy"

Well maybe you are fine with your dog knocking your 2yo child backwards then standing over her but Im totally not.

@Wafflesnsniffles that's a completely different scenario to what the op has described. No dog should be off lead unless it has 100% reliable recall, especially not a 'big powerful' breed. Nobody in their right mind would argue with that. But the op has described a dog, on lead, under control who she just moved away from because she didn't like the look of it. Absolutely her choice but some people would find that stereotypical. Would she have done the same with a jack Russell or a Yorkshire terrier?

The woman shouldn't have said anything however.

I think you were being ridiculous!!! To stand in front the buggy like it was going to randomly go nuts and attack your baby, get a grip. I'd have been pissed off as well if I was that couple.

You are not being unreasonable. Some people like dogs. Some people are afraid of dogs. (I actually have a friend who is afraid of cats).

From what you say, it looks like you did not say anything to them. How you choose to stand when giving way to them is your own business, and if they don't like it, it's their issue, not yours.

Was it on a lead? Was it bounding up and down the pavement? If not. You were being unreasonable.

I have two small dogs. On our walking route we have to go through a small path that's narrow because either side is wall or bushes.

I always either wait and let the non dog owners go first if they have already stated down the path or if they join the path when I am already on it, when we get within talking distance I usually offer to pick them up if required because of someone is nervous of dogs then of course I would because they are small enough to pick up.

If they say no I just ensure they are on the shortest lead.

You would have irritated me too standing there making it obvious you have some kind of problem.

I have two little dogs and I love most dogs but I still walk at an on-lead site and I avoid certain dogs. I’ve always been like this but one of my dogs barks at bigger dogs so we’re more of a target than I ever was before. I even carry a deterrent spray that I bought from a police equipment website.

What I have found is that aggression doesn’t have much to do with the breed of the dog but of course some dogs have the potential to kill small children and you have every right to protect your child. Maybe next time you could bend down and pretend to be doing something rather than standing guard. Of course people will take offence if you’re acting as if they’re hostile…that’s just human nature.

Dog owners often see their dogs as their children and feel hurt on their behalf if someone is scared or unkind because often the dog is very gentle and often even very afraid. I felt guilty recently when I moved right out of the way and then realised that the dog was about fifteen and very sweet. But obviously it’s impossible to know from a distance. When people say “I don’t care about your dog!” etc it’s like telling someone “I don’t care about your child”. I think that if someone doesn’t melt at the sight of a fluffy dog, then they’ve got to be quite a harsh person, so it’s helpful to me in making a judgement about that person.

Do also bear in mind that most dog owners don’t take any chances because if their dog attacks a child it will be put to sleep. But obviously some owners are idiots and you’ll get more or less of those depending on where you live.

Jessthemess38 A completely different scenario yes but on lead or not Im very wary around big dogs. Just because its on a lead and appears under control it doesnt mean its impossible for a nasty situation to happen. A dog owner may know how safe their dog is but as a person out walking who encounters a dog I can have no possible way of knowing. Hence Im always nervous around any dog for as long as it takes me to feel safe........ and for some dogs thats never.

YANBU OP

You stood to the side and let them pass and didn’t say anything to them, there is nothing wrong with that regardless whether one likes dogs or not. The dog owners could have kept walking and said nothing. They chose to say something and it isn’t up to them whatsoever to decide if you’re being overprotective or not. Doesn’t matter if they’re irritated by people not liking/trusting their dog or giving them a wide berth, they should have kept walking instead of telling you how you should feel about their animal and how you should choose to protect your child.

Some dog owners might be entitled but we are not all so don’t tar us with the same brush.

I have a dog, who I love dearly but I don’t overly like other peoples dogs and I don’t want them on me or approaching me or my pup - he is well socialised al doesn’t ‘need’ to play with peoples random dogs - was attacked by a dog a while back. I also don’t allow my dog to approach others or jump up etc he’s on lead and behaves in public. I wouldn’t be offended if someone was nervous of him - he’s a golden retriever so mostly dopey.