To wonder why more people are not emetophobic?

[EmetophobicElle]

I'm severely emetophobic to the extent that it affects all areas of my life. I'm phobic of being being sick, seeing anyone be sick, (this means I avoid lots of situations where someone may be sick - e.g. the cinema, theatre, restaurants, supermarkets, theme parks), seeing vomit (or vomit-like substances), catching Norovirus/stomach bugs (so have lots of cleaning compulsions and extensive avoidance etc). I know I need to get better from this and I'm having CBT at the moment.

However I was watching Last Leg last night where Josh Widdicombe was saying he's just recovered from a really nasty stomach bug and that it was awful etc. and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

I associate vomiting with instant relief from nausea. I would much rather have a sick stomach than a bad headache.

It's kind of like having bad digestive pain and then a big fart. Better out than in.

@jytdtysrht

I think that the reason more people aren’t emetophobic is because puke is something many people see a lot. Ok it isn’t nice - but neither is turd - and all people do that regularly. Tbh, I think cleaning up sick is less offensive than cleaning up shit. In both cases the body is getting rid of unwanted stuff.

Plus I remember my siblings puking, my dog pukes from time to time when he eats something stupid, kids puke…drunk people puke…I kind of think of it as ordinary.

Yeah, that makes sense. I'm actually fine with dog vomit (can even clear it up) and baby regurgitation but think it might be linked to seeing someone choke very badly when seriously ill as vomiting is similar to choking.

Isn't a phobia an overreaction by definition, just like an allergy..... if everyone was like it then it would be 'normal'

@ReadyToMoveIt

It depends how they experience it, surely. There could be a spider literally anywhere, in your car, on a bus, park bench, in your office, even in your house. It depends where you live, but I see people vomiting in public maybe 1-2 times a decade, I see spiders 2-3 times a week

This is true. I genuinely can’t remember ever seeing anyone vomit in public, and I’ve had maybe 3 sickness bugs in my adult life. Vomiting, or being exposed to vomit, is actually a very rare occurrence. And I don’t take any steps to avoid it bar the usual hygiene like hand washing.
There are other phobias where the subject of the phobia is far more prevalent and therefore more difficult to avoid.

Which ones? I think maybe people don't realise how extensive blood and vomit phobias actually are or how many situations are affected.

@pinkstripeycat

Loads of people are. I can’t read your post past the title I’m so bad

Sorry to hear that pinkstripeycat. I don't know whether you've had much treatment but some of the early ERP tasks under 'Exposure > Resources' on this website might help: emetophobiahelp.org/erp-resources-2/ so you'd start with some of the letters in the v word blocked out and then progress to being able to write and say the word.

@pinkstripeycat , sorry I've just looked back and actually it starts with the v* word immediately so maybe don't look at that if you're not ready to yet.

@ReadyToMoveIt

Assuming you are close to useless in the event of a child or vulnerable person vomiting, then it's just as well it is not a common problem. Phobias generally are not helpful to society

I know I’ll get absolutely flamed for this but just being honest…
I’ve seen a lot of threads on here in the past where emetophobics have said their child is vomiting and they’re petrified that they’re going to catch it and vomit too so they’re hiding in another room etc. There never seems to be any concern for the poor kid who is actually ill, just worry that it might happen to them.

That's really not true of those mothers. They do care for and love their child but the fear (well terror) has just taken over in those situations.

[quote thalassa00]**@Briony123* If everyone had an irrational fear of vomit then who would work in hospitals or vets surgeries? Assuming you are close to useless in the event of a child or vulnerable person vomiting, then it's just as well it is not a common problem. Phobias generally are not helpful to society.*

I am an HCP. When a patient is vomiting, my outward professionalism takes over and I am completely capable of helping them and dealing with the practicalities. However, if I know the vomiting has an infectious cause then internally I will be panicking (and this will continue for at least 48hrs as I monitor myself for any symptoms) - I'm just very good at masking that.[/quote]
Wow, that's great that you can do that Thalassa00!

@DenverDoer

I had a friend who chose not to have children because she had this phobia and was terrified of morning sickness.

She only ate 'safe' foods and was underweight. It affected her relationships terribly as her phobia extended to them, and I believe she's still single - it's an awful phobia I really feel for anyone struggling with it.

I'd say that level of fear and avoidance must be very rare. Personally I never give it a thought, I don't like being poorly obviously but it just doesn't occur to me to think about it or give it any headspace at all.

Yeah this is fairly normal for Emetophobia- it can really affect every area of your life.

[quote thalassa00]@EmetophobicElle I don't think that's true any more than Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia or suicidal Clinical Depression being disorders of privilege- all of them are slightly more rare in developing countries, in fact suicide rates are really low in lots of places. They're still significant problems. I'm not sure that Emetophobia even is that rare in those situations and OCD certainly exists in those environments too.

It also felt to me (as a fellow sufferer) that singling emetophobia out a "disease of privilege" was just adding a fabulous dollop of guilt and condescension on top of everything else [/quote]
Yes exactly Thalassa00!

That's really not true of those mothers. They do care for and love their child but the fear (well terror) has just taken over in those situations

My (lovely) neighbour lives alone with her DS, she called me once to say he had been sick and could I go over and clean him up and sort his bedding out etc. Fortunately I wasn't home just as I would have felt bad saying no if I was home, but she mentioned it a few days after and said it took her half hour to find someone so he was in clothes and a cot covered in it for a while :( I know it's not actively her fault, but in situations where someone else isn't on hand to help is it cruel to the child. I know that situation is very rare but surely that's the point you try and find a coping mechanism or access some therapy.

@Wellthisiscrapeh

It honestly doesn’t bother me.

Which is lucky seeing as I’ve had three HG pregnancies that all the anti sickness drugs wouldn’t touch.

I’m only ok with my own and my dc though. I couldn’t be around/see anyone else’s vomit.

That's really great that it doesn't bother you Wellthisiscrapeh, I would love to feel like that about vomit/ing. I'm sorry you had HG though- that must have been hellish.

Exactly @Papayamya, their fear for themselves overtakes their concern for their ill child. That’s what I struggle to comprehend.

@Papayamya

That's really not true of those mothers. They do care for and love their child but the fear (well terror) has just taken over in those situations

My (lovely) neighbour lives alone with her DS, she called me once to say he had been sick and could I go over and clean him up and sort his bedding out etc. Fortunately I wasn't home just as I would have felt bad saying no if I was home, but she mentioned it a few days after and said it took her half hour to find someone so he was in clothes and a cot covered in it for a while :( I know it's not actively her fault, but in situations where someone else isn't on hand to help is it cruel to the child. I know that situation is very rare but surely that's the point you try and find a coping mechanism or access some therapy.

Poor kid and your poor neighbour- she must feel terrified and like a shit parent at the same time. I don't have kids, I'd like to have a family (I'm in my early 30s though so it may just not happen for me as my MH conditions are absolutely debilitating at the moment) but I would want to get better to avoid being like that. I would hope that my desire to ensure a baby's safety would override my phobia though but I don't judge your neighbour any more than I'd judge someone with PND for not being able to look after their baby.

@ReadyToMoveIt

Exactly *@Papayamya*, their fear for themselves overtakes their concern for their ill child. That’s what I struggle to comprehend.

Would you feel that way about someone suffering from PND and unable to care for their baby?

Would you feel that way about someone suffering from PND and unable to care for their baby?

I had PND, and I sought treatment for it so that I was able to care for my baby. The issue is when people don’t seek help/treatment.

Mine definitely started in a similar way to others - a schoolmate throwing up all over the table and it coming towards me - totally unexpectedly when I was in reception class right before the end of the day. It terrified me and made me hate him (as an adult I know it's not really hate but it felt that way back then) and I also "hated" anyone who didn't make it to the toilet. As an adult I can't understand people who are happy to throw up in bags if they can get to a toilet. I'd hate anyone seeing me be sick.

@thewhatsit

I’m still quite confused about the question, even having read all the responses.

I don’t like seeing sick but I have young DC and though I didn’t have morning sickness - both times were probably in fact the longest I’ve ever gone without being sick! - it means cleaning up sick pretty regularly. Both were sicky babies but then the worse one grew out of it and was only sick once past 1 year. The other one who was less sicky is now as a child quite prone to being sick - she seems to catch sickness bugs every few months that no one else in the house gets. I’m quite used now to directing her to be sick on me to spare whatever we are sitting / lying on before I can get us to a bathroom.

It’s a fairly unpleasant part of life but I wouldn’t want to ruin my life by avoiding it and I don’t find it any more unpleasant than lots of things. Nappies were sometimes more disgusting than sick and I was well acquainted with them too… 🤷‍♀️

Thanks thewhatsit, it's good to read a reply from someone with a healthy perspective on vomiting.

My question was- why, when most people find vomiting deeply unpleasant (but I now see that most people don't!), are those same people not afraid of vomiting.

As an adult I can't understand people who are happy to throw up in bags if they can get to a toilet. I'd hate anyone seeing me be sick

I don’t think anyone is happy to do it in a bag, but if they can’t get to a toilet then what’s the alternative?

@ReadyToMoveIt

Would you feel that way about someone suffering from PND and unable to care for their baby?

I had PND, and I sought treatment for it so that I was able to care for my baby. The issue is when people don’t seek help/treatment.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

Absolutely people should seek treatment but for example I have had treatment on and off for 18 years (I'm in my early 30s) and it hasn't worked so far. People assume that because it's a phobia, it's easy to treat but it's really not.

My question was- why, when most people find vomiting deeply unpleasant (but I now see that most people don't!), are those same people not afraid of vomiting

Because most people aren’t afraid of unpleasant things, they just don’t like them. My toddler currently has diarrhoea. Changing his nappy makes me retch. I’m not afraid of it though, it’s just deeply unpleasant. A necessary evil when caring for a child.

@Bumpsadaisie

Hmm ... well I don't think this will resonate with you but I ... I won't say enjoy, but certainly welcome, being sick!

I love the feeling you get afterwards, of feeling much better from whatever it was that was making you feel so ill before.

My mother used to always rub my back, then the loo would be cleaned up and I would wash my face and brush my teeth and feel a whole lot better.

So I don't really have any anxious feelings about it tbh.

I suppose I would be anxious about throwing up in public and the embarrassment and mess of that ... but that has never been an issue really, I don't throw up easily, and if I'm in throwing up territory I am at home in bed, in private.

Thanks Bumpsadaisie- that's a really helpful reply and the type of reply I was really looking for/expecting :-) .

@Thisisit2022

Mine definitely started in a similar way to others - a schoolmate throwing up all over the table and it coming towards me - totally unexpectedly when I was in reception class right before the end of the day. It terrified me and made me hate him (as an adult I know it's not really hate but it felt that way back then) and I also "hated" anyone who didn't make it to the toilet. As an adult I can't understand people who are happy to throw up in bags if they can get to a toilet. I'd hate anyone seeing me be sick.

Yeah that seems to be a trigger for quite a lot of people and I think Emetophobia nearly always starts in childhood when it's harder to rationalise and when things can often feel overwhelming.

I was very sick phobic as a child and until my mid 20s (the upside is that I would never drink to excess for fear of throwing up). When I got pregnant and I was sick every day for 24 weeks I had to just roll with it and I would say that cured me. Luckily my kids haven’t been sick that much but I’m determined to be casual about it and not pass on my fear. I still hate being sick (would choose any other illness over vomiting) but I’m certainly not as terrified as I used to be because of exposure I guess.

If someone else is sick it makes me feel queasy but I'm in no way scared of it. I think I'm used to it as I got ill a lot as a child.
My heart goes out to those that suffer with it. I had a friend who suffered terribly and had therapy which helped. One thing she was told to do as part of the therapy was help people who were being sick, like bring them water/tissues for exposure.
It really helped her overcome the fear.