To wonder why more people are not emetophobic?

[EmetophobicElle]

I'm severely emetophobic to the extent that it affects all areas of my life. I'm phobic of being being sick, seeing anyone be sick, (this means I avoid lots of situations where someone may be sick - e.g. the cinema, theatre, restaurants, supermarkets, theme parks), seeing vomit (or vomit-like substances), catching Norovirus/stomach bugs (so have lots of cleaning compulsions and extensive avoidance etc). I know I need to get better from this and I'm having CBT at the moment.

However I was watching Last Leg last night where Josh Widdicombe was saying he's just recovered from a really nasty stomach bug and that it was awful etc. and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

[quote JKDcot]@thechocolatefrog and @EmetophobicElle

I am so like you both. I understand and feel exactly as you do. And I AM a mother. To a son who I carried myself (I was looking into surrogacy as the only way I could be a mother as I was too emetophobic to believe I could cope with pregnancy).
But I did it. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I felt nauseous for 8 weeks but I coped. I promise you can also if you want to.

I am a logical and methodical human and I found this worked for me

Take anti emetic drugs. Don’t delay. Just have them ready. I found cyclizine works for me. The research proves it’s safe and ignore anyone who tells you it’s wrong to impact your baby. It didn’t and they wouldn’t prescribe them if it’s dangerous.

I have the emeterm watch which gives electrical pulse to your pressure point. It really helped me.

I didn’t even try and go to work / travel jn a car/ see people. I sat up. In bed. Watched my iPad for 2 months straight. I can’t sleep or lay down if I feel sick so days and nights blurred into each other.

I marked every day off the calendar I was closer to getting past the 3 month stage. Not everyone is less sick, but I read all the statistics and luckily by week 14/15 it was gone

I had an elective c section where I told my anaesthetist I was emetophobic. He gave me anti ems tics and I did not throw up during the procedure or in recovery. I took my own cyclizine into hospital in case the nurses were too busy.

I got through pregnancy and childbirth without vomiting. Yes I felt sick and had some uncomfortable days. But I did it and you can too if that’s what you want

Non emetophobics will think I sound mad. But I am actually very sane, smart and successful woman with a sad and debilitating phobia. It’s like someone scared of heights who jumped
Out a plane or someone who hates spiders living with one in their house. For me this is the biggest achievement[/quote]
That's inspirational to read JKDcot and well done for getting through pregnancy! I am so far away from it at the moment (single and absolutely disabled by my MH) and giving up hope a bit the older that I get and the longer that I struggle with this but hopefully this will help @thechocolatefrog .

Being sick, or being anywhere near anyone being sick, used to totally freak me out as a child. But at puberty I started getting migraines that would have me vomiting every 15-20 minutes for 24-48 hours, and I think I just got used to it.

They stopped after menopause (well, I still get visual migraines, but no pain or puking, so they barely count).

There are probably hundreds of phobias. All of those people could say the same thing.

Why are people not terrified of spiders/dogs/heights/open spaces/confined spaces.

@JKDcot

I wish I had known all that. I had internet access only at the library. The only things the doctors said was 'try ginger biscuits'. I was on a drip every few weeks and the nausea only stopped in the delivery room. I was skin and bones but the baby was average. I weighed the same as I had when I was 12 years old.

Only had one child for that reason.

@BigupPemberleyMassive

There are probably hundreds of phobias. All of those people could say the same thing.

Why are people not terrified of spiders/dogs/heights/open spaces/confined spaces.

I think my reason for asking was just that people fairly universally (although obviously a rare few like it) hate vomiting but just don't take significant preventative actions to avoid catching sickness bugs/vomiting/being near other people when they vomit.

I don't think that people universally hate dogs, spiders, open spaces etc.

@LakieLady

Being sick, or being anywhere near anyone being sick, used to totally freak me out as a child. But at puberty I started getting migraines that would have me vomiting every 15-20 minutes for 24-48 hours, and I think I just got used to it.

They stopped after menopause (well, I still get visual migraines, but no pain or puking, so they barely count).

That's interesting that having frequent sickness from migraines helped you and great that the migraines have mostly stopped now.

[quote BigupPemberleyMassive]@JKDcot

I wish I had known all that. I had internet access only at the library. The only things the doctors said was 'try ginger biscuits'. I was on a drip every few weeks and the nausea only stopped in the delivery room. I was skin and bones but the baby was average. I weighed the same as I had when I was 12 years old.[/quote]
How awful for you!

I think my reason for asking was just that people fairly universally (although obviously a rare few like it) hate vomiting but just don't take significant preventative actions to avoid catching sickness bugs/vomiting/being near other people when they vomit

Because the significant preventative actions are far more destructive to peoples lives than the odd episode of sickness. Most people aren’t sick frequently.

My baby has reflux so I'm glad I don't have this phobia. It would be very difficult to look after her otherwise.

I really feel for you OP. I had a colleague who was emetophobic and it really did govern her life in ways I never would have thought about. Stuff like, she’d be scared to drink tap water in a new place unless she knew it was ‘safe’ (and I don’t mean a new country, I mean for example having a meeting in a different part of our building that she hadn’t been to before). She couldn’t be around hungover people and she was so careful about everything she ate or touched. I felt so sorry for her. The thing was, though, that one time she actually did get a stomach bug and was very sick at home, and she told me afterwards that the vomiting was nowhere near as bad as she might have thought. She got through it and she was fine. I think with most of these things it’s the fear/anticipation that is so much worse than the reality of it.

I know that being rational doesn’t always help but you said that some of the other posts had helped you, so I can tell you that I’m not particularly careful about what I eat and I think I’ve had food poisoning once, maybe twice in my whole life. It’s really, really not that common and certainly not lurking on every corner. Anywhere with a decent hygiene rating will almost certainly be safe in that respect.

I’ve never been emetophobic but I went through a period of severe anxiety in my own life where my fear all centred around possibly needing to use the toilet in public, and I can relate to it taking over your whole life and governing where you go, what you eat and drink. It’s horrible and I really really feel for you.

@FirewomanSam

I really feel for you OP. I had a colleague who was emetophobic and it really did govern her life in ways I never would have thought about. Stuff like, she’d be scared to drink tap water in a new place unless she knew it was ‘safe’ (and I don’t mean a new country, I mean for example having a meeting in a different part of our building that she hadn’t been to before). She couldn’t be around hungover people and she was so careful about everything she ate or touched. I felt so sorry for her. The thing was, though, that one time she actually did get a stomach bug and was very sick at home, and she told me afterwards that the vomiting was nowhere near as bad as she might have thought. She got through it and she was fine. I think with most of these things it’s the fear/anticipation that is so much worse than the reality of it.

I know that being rational doesn’t always help but you said that some of the other posts had helped you, so I can tell you that I’m not particularly careful about what I eat and I think I’ve had food poisoning once, maybe twice in my whole life. It’s really, really not that common and certainly not lurking on every corner. Anywhere with a decent hygiene rating will almost certainly be safe in that respect.

I’ve never been emetophobic but I went through a period of severe anxiety in my own life where my fear all centred around possibly needing to use the toilet in public, and I can relate to it taking over your whole life and governing where you go, what you eat and drink. It’s horrible and I really really feel for you.

Thank you so much for empathising Firewomansam! I'm quite similar to your colleague and that's really helpful to hear that she actually found vomiting to be a lot less awful than she had anticipated and to hear that you rarely get food poisoning despite not being ultra careful.

I'm sorry you went through a period of extreme anxiety too- it's an awful thing to cope with!

@ReadyToMoveIt

I think my reason for asking was just that people fairly universally (although obviously a rare few like it) hate vomiting but just don't take significant preventative actions to avoid catching sickness bugs/vomiting/being near other people when they vomit

Because the significant preventative actions are far more destructive to peoples lives than the odd episode of sickness. Most people aren’t sick frequently.

Yes, that's totally true.

@Sceptre86

My baby has reflux so I'm glad I don't have this phobia. It would be very difficult to look after her otherwise.

Weirdly reflux doesn't bother me at all. My lovely little nephew had terrible reflux as a baby and it just seems so different to me to vomiting- I'm not sure if it's the lack of retching or the lack of anticipatory fear when it happens (as it's so quick) but luckily I'm okay with it.

You’re welcome @EmetophobicElle, it sounds like you are finding this thread helpful and encouraging which is great to hear!

As someone else said, it’s really the preventive safety behaviours that end up governing your life rather than the reality of actually being sick.

I read the post upthread about how another poster coped with being emetophobic during pregnancy, taking anti-emetics etc. Obviously sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get you through, and I’m not criticising that poster in the slightest. But having had CBT for my own anxiety and phobia, I think my therapist would say that those kind of safety behaviours can ultimately reinforce the phobia. Because every time you take an anti-emetic you are kind of confirming to yourself that being sick would be awful and so you need to take this drug to avoid it. And so on.

I know you mentioned having CBT already but I wonder if it’s worth exploring again as it really did do wonders for me. My therapist would probably have you doing really small baby steps to expose you to situations you’d normally avoid and then document what happens, how you felt and so on. So that you sort of build up an alternative body of ‘evidence’ to challenge your current narrative, which is telling you that if you go anywhere or do anything or eat something different you WILL see vomit or you WILL be sick and it WILL be really really awful. Whereas those of us who aren’t emetophobic go about our lives vaguely aware that being sick or seeing vomit might be a remote possibility in our day but that it’s not that likely to happen and wouldn’t be that catastrophic if it did. Maybe CBT can help move you more towards that headspace too?

I'm sorry you had HG and were so unwell during pregnancy, that must have been awful. I think that I'm particularly scared of that horrible nauseous feeling so cannot imagine it going on for weeks!

It was never diagnosed with HG so I'm wary of self-diagnosing. But it started the day I tested (which was a day or two early, I tested because I woke up feeling nauseous), and carried on past 20 weeks. I dropped one and a half dress sizes, and my rings were falling off my fingers. Water in particular led to instant sickness. GP told to me to try harder to drink, midwife just looked confused, like she'd never heard of 'morning sickness' being that bad before.

We briefly went down a not trying/not preventing route, but the first month I became so anxious about being pregnant and being so sick again that we gave up on the whole idea of a second child.

Weirdly at the time pregnancy had an such an anxiolytic effect on me that I mostly dealt with it quite calmly, though I wasn't happy. It was afterwards that it hit me just how awful the whole thing had been and just how miserable I'd been.

I'm emetophobic, I know exactly when it started, my mum had awful morning sickness when she was expecting my brother. I will do anything to avoid being sick & even trained ds from being a toddler to cope with being sick without me. The one time he threw up on his bedroom floor I had to cover the whole thing in shaving foam so that I wouldn't see or smell it as I cleared it up. It has ruined my life.

I can cope with blood, snot, poo, I even cleared up after my mum had a massive haemorrhage after an op, blood clots bigger than my hand & everything, thank god she didn't throw up because I would have been out of the door faster than Usain Bolt.

@FirewomanSam

You’re welcome *@EmetophobicElle*, it sounds like you are finding this thread helpful and encouraging which is great to hear!

As someone else said, it’s really the preventive safety behaviours that end up governing your life rather than the reality of actually being sick.

I read the post upthread about how another poster coped with being emetophobic during pregnancy, taking anti-emetics etc. Obviously sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get you through, and I’m not criticising that poster in the slightest. But having had CBT for my own anxiety and phobia, I think my therapist would say that those kind of safety behaviours can ultimately reinforce the phobia. Because every time you take an anti-emetic you are kind of confirming to yourself that being sick would be awful and so you need to take this drug to avoid it. And so on.

I know you mentioned having CBT already but I wonder if it’s worth exploring again as it really did do wonders for me. My therapist would probably have you doing really small baby steps to expose you to situations you’d normally avoid and then document what happens, how you felt and so on. So that you sort of build up an alternative body of ‘evidence’ to challenge your current narrative, which is telling you that if you go anywhere or do anything or eat something different you WILL see vomit or you WILL be sick and it WILL be really really awful. Whereas those of us who aren’t emetophobic go about our lives vaguely aware that being sick or seeing vomit might be a remote possibility in our day but that it’s not that likely to happen and wouldn’t be that catastrophic if it did. Maybe CBT can help move you more towards that headspace too?

Yes, it's been really helpful!

My CBT therapist would agree about safety behaviours and I did manage to drop regularly taking anti-emetics a few years ago and to learn that most of the time I was just nauseous due to anxiety, hormones etc. but I can imagine that pregnancy is one of those more extreme situations/exceptions where you might have to engage in some safety behaviours just to get through for a short time or potentially just need anti-emetics to cope with the nausea each day.

@GrolliffetheDragon

I'm sorry you had HG and were so unwell during pregnancy, that must have been awful. I think that I'm particularly scared of that horrible nauseous feeling so cannot imagine it going on for weeks!

It was never diagnosed with HG so I'm wary of self-diagnosing. But it started the day I tested (which was a day or two early, I tested because I woke up feeling nauseous), and carried on past 20 weeks. I dropped one and a half dress sizes, and my rings were falling off my fingers. Water in particular led to instant sickness. GP told to me to try harder to drink, midwife just looked confused, like she'd never heard of 'morning sickness' being that bad before.

We briefly went down a not trying/not preventing route, but the first month I became so anxious about being pregnant and being so sick again that we gave up on the whole idea of a second child.

Weirdly at the time pregnancy had an such an anxiolytic effect on me that I mostly dealt with it quite calmly, though I wasn't happy. It was afterwards that it hit me just how awful the whole thing had been and just how miserable I'd been.

Yes I can see why, although looks like a dog, smells like a dog, barks like a dog... probably a dog / H.G.

I'm so sorry you went through that, it sounds absolutely awful!

@GrolliffetheDragon , sorry my reply sounded really odd! I just meant it sounds like it was H.G., even if you weren't diagnosed.

I don't know, I don't see anything particularly scary in being sick 🤷🏼‍♀️
I mean, it's unpleasant and I would rather avoid it, but there are scarier things out there (🕷🕷🕷).