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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why more people are not emetophobic?

297 replies

EmetophobicElle · 26/03/2022 12:32

I'm severely emetophobic to the extent that it affects all areas of my life. I'm phobic of being being sick, seeing anyone be sick, (this means I avoid lots of situations where someone may be sick - e.g. the cinema, theatre, restaurants, supermarkets, theme parks), seeing vomit (or vomit-like substances), catching Norovirus/stomach bugs (so have lots of cleaning compulsions and extensive avoidance etc). I know I need to get better from this and I'm having CBT at the moment.

However I was watching Last Leg last night where Josh Widdicombe was saying he's just recovered from a really nasty stomach bug and that it was awful etc. and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

OP posts:
Bumpsadaisie · 26/03/2022 13:02

I think the only times I have seen people throw up in public is on the streets on a Saturday night! Which is completely avoidable so doesnt worry me.

ForeverSingle881 · 26/03/2022 13:02

Vomiting is part of life. Unpleasant for about 2 mins, that's it. I mean this kindly but you are seriously unwell. You should make therapy a priority as the extent to which this controls your life sounds unbearable.

[AUTO]jj6l6l0wdihf0 · 26/03/2022 13:03

I felt like you OP when I had my first round of CBT for emetophobia. I honestly could not understand why someone (for example) would drink alcohol to the point that they vomited, or enjoyed fair ground rides or boat trips. I just could not understand it. The thing that helped me the absolute most was when my therapist organised a survey. I devised a load of questions, such as ‘if you were on a plane and the person next to you started vomiting what would you do’ (because I would have a massive panic attack and run to the other end of the plane) - and I was astounded with the ‘i would check they were ok, but it wouldnt bother me’ responses. I honestly thought everyone felt the same way that I did. That realisation, that actually I was the one who thought differently was a such a powerful tool for me to recover from my phobia. 15 years later and it doesn’t rule my life anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate vomit. I still have a wobble when I hear there is a stomach bug doing the rounds at my DD’s school - but it doesn’t control my life. To the point where 2 years ago I got a new job in a hospital (I would barely have set foot in one at the height of my phobia) and can now go onto the wards and see patients with sick bowls and it does not phase me.

Continue with your CBT OP and don’t give up - the phobia can be beaten

Ncwinc · 26/03/2022 13:03

That’s really good advice ^

orangeisthenewpuce · 26/03/2022 13:05

If I'm unwell I like being sick if it's going to make me feel a bit better afterwards.

riotlady · 26/03/2022 13:07

I really don’t like being sick but often find I feel better afterwards. It’s unpleasant but it just doesn’t stress me out that much.

UnsuitableHat · 26/03/2022 13:08

I think I was a bit like this as a child, really scared of being sick. As an adult I don’t mind vomiting if it’s necessary but other people doing it, even on TV, really turns my stomach.

HoppingPavlova · 26/03/2022 13:11

Because it’s not a common phobia? If it was it would be harm for humans to exist as occasionally we have cause to vomit, and most just accept this and get on with it. If the majority had it as a phobia it would make it hard for us to exist as biological organisms really.

Narutocrazyfox · 26/03/2022 13:12

Vomit generally doesn't bother me. It's not pleasant, obviously, but but it doesn't bother me as such.

Although while pregnant I vomited 10+ times a day for several months, so perhaps I'm just used to it!

I can honestly say though that I haven't seen anyone be sick in a public place for many years, it would be a real shame to have it limit your life so much.

BattledoreAndShuttlecock · 26/03/2022 13:18

A proper bout of Norovirus is horrible, and if it was doing the rounds locally I'd be very wary. But a minor bout of vomiting due to travel sickness, over indulgence in alcohol, or mild food poisoning is a pretty minor inconvenience in most people's lives, and in the latter cases I know from experience that I'll probably feel slightly better after being sick.

Similarly I'd be rightly terrified of an injury resulting in massive blood loss, but I don't faint or scream if I cut my finger while cooking.

Youdoyoutoday · 26/03/2022 13:22

I used to work in bars and couldn't clean it up, it made me retch!
After having my first baby and then becoming a single parent, kinda had to suck it up.... though not literally 🤣

Hugasauras · 26/03/2022 13:23

I had Noro before Xmas and it was horrible but it passed. Vomiting just like most illnesses for me I suppose - unpleasant but generally fleeting, and I don't really think about it unless I'm currently suffering with it.

Grumpyoctopus · 26/03/2022 13:26

I actually am not that bothered by the act of being sick, though I hate feeling nauseous. I always feel better after whatever it is has come out!

I'm also a nurse and clean up vomit fairly often. It felt a bit gross at the start but now I barely even think about it to be honest.

CBT sounds like it might be really good for you if you are able to access it?

Notanotherwindow · 26/03/2022 13:27

I don't like it at all but ultimately its the same thing coming up as it was when it went in.

SafelySoftly · 26/03/2022 13:29

No one likes it but, like a lot of things you just get on with it. And I hope you’re having therapy as it shouldn’t be impacting your life like that.

MargosKaftan · 26/03/2022 13:33

I think perhaps to you it is thr worse possible thing, so its hard to imagine other people aren't all that bothered. I dont like being unwell, but vomiting itself doesn't bother me that much. I used to throw up with migraines until I got new glasses sorted, however the heachache and feeling tired /weak bothered me more than the vomiting.

lljkk · 26/03/2022 13:36

Maybe it would make sense if you played out what the phobia actually means for you personally.

I was sick a lot in pregnancies. I'm very squeamish. Vomit is gross and it can be quite painful to vomit, but I know for sure that it doesn't mean any of things:

That I will die
That I can't cope
That I will never recover
That huge damage is happening to me
That any huge harm will come to people I love
That I can't breathe trying to deal with it
That the pain is too much for me
That the mess is beyond my ability to clean up relatively quickly
That anyone judges me (or if they do, I now respect them less for having such a weird opinion)

I don't have a phobia, I just imagine those are things you might feel or believe that are part of having a phobia. Since I'm not carrying those beliefs & feelings, there is no phobia (maybe?).

I agree with PPs who said vomiting is often relief from bad nausea, and that relief can be very welcome.

Papayamya · 26/03/2022 13:36

You could say the same about any phobia really- after all they aren't entirely rational so some people won't mind whatever it is (not minimising it for the person afflicted and how intense and real it is to them). I don't enjoy being sick but also doesn't bother me either, usually it's episode is over quickly and brush teeth and move on. I find the backpain and lack of energy much worse, usually feels better after actually being sick.

catfunk · 26/03/2022 13:37

I suppose the point of a 'phobia' is that's it's irrational. So your behaviours are irrational/ disruptive.

However I hate being sick, I've probably only vomited around 6 times in my entire life when I REALLY couldn't hold it in (noro, poisoning etc.)

There are hundreds of times where if I'd have just let myself vomit I'd have felt better (alcohol for example) but I'm so terrified of the not being able to breathe part so I keep it down and feel sick as a dog for ages.
Wish I was more comfortable with it and could get it over with !

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 26/03/2022 13:38

It doesn't bother me really, I have a gastric band that's too tight and I'm always vomiting. So far nothing bad has happened to me.

LittleSnakes · 26/03/2022 13:41

I feel like this about the dentist. Don’t get why everyone isn’t terrified. What about being sick specifically is it that you’re phobic of?

Whelmed · 26/03/2022 13:44

My phobia is about speaking in front of people. Lots of people hate it or feel nervous but I feel like not many people are actually phobic even though it's talked about a lot.

gunnersgold · 26/03/2022 13:51

Everyone hates sick ffs , it's not like other phobias that some people live . No one loves sick but some people are better at coping with it than others .

AliceAbsolum · 26/03/2022 14:00

@gunnersgold Very unhelpful comment. Emetophobia is debilitating and life changing. People don't go out, have kids, have life saving surgery. It's a nightmare for a lot of people.

WashedupTroll · 26/03/2022 14:03

@BrioNotBiro

It can feel good to be sick - mildly unpleasant at the time, but you feel so much better after. It's your body expelling bad stuff.
Agree, I hate the waiting to be sick rather than the act itself.