To wonder why more people are not emetophobic?

[EmetophobicElle]

I'm severely emetophobic to the extent that it affects all areas of my life. I'm phobic of being being sick, seeing anyone be sick, (this means I avoid lots of situations where someone may be sick - e.g. the cinema, theatre, restaurants, supermarkets, theme parks), seeing vomit (or vomit-like substances), catching Norovirus/stomach bugs (so have lots of cleaning compulsions and extensive avoidance etc). I know I need to get better from this and I'm having CBT at the moment.

However I was watching Last Leg last night where Josh Widdicombe was saying he's just recovered from a really nasty stomach bug and that it was awful etc. and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

@EmetophobicElle

I compleeeeetely get exactly where you are coming from - I have the exact same thoughts. I too cannot understand why others don't react the same way I do if someone says they feel sick/have been sick/a sick bug is going around etc.

I have suffered with emetophobia for 25 years and it has controlled (and ruined) every single aspect of my life.

It drives me insane how people can brush it off and say no one likes being sick. It is in a completely different league. I've even had numerous doctors literally laugh in my face when I've told them I have emetophobia. Firstly they asked me what it was (!!) and then when I explained they found it amusing!! I would give anything for my phobia to be gone. My life is severely restricted. Every single decision I make is centred around the risk of feeling sick/being sick/catching germs/seeing sick etc. so that leaves me feeling like I would be in a 'dangerous' situation 99% of the time. Realistically there are so few occasions where I actually feel 'safe' as you can never ever say for definite if you will or won't be sick.

I'm currently having long term cbt and exposure which has helped somewhat but nowhere near a level where I need it to. Although I am aware that the phobia is irrational, it's unbelievably hard to 'get over' or 'cure'. Unbelievably hard. It's listed as a complex phobia for a reason! I'm aware that this is a long, long process and I will be in therapy for years to attempt to get past this but I am determined. ♥️

[quote thechocolatefrog]@EmetophobicElle

I compleeeeetely get exactly where you are coming from - I have the exact same thoughts. I too cannot understand why others don't react the same way I do if someone says they feel sick/have been sick/a sick bug is going around etc.

I have suffered with emetophobia for 25 years and it has controlled (and ruined) every single aspect of my life.

It drives me insane how people can brush it off and say no one likes being sick. It is in a completely different league. I've even had numerous doctors literally laugh in my face when I've told them I have emetophobia. Firstly they asked me what it was (!!) and then when I explained they found it amusing!! I would give anything for my phobia to be gone. My life is severely restricted. Every single decision I make is centred around the risk of feeling sick/being sick/catching germs/seeing sick etc. so that leaves me feeling like I would be in a 'dangerous' situation 99% of the time. Realistically there are so few occasions where I actually feel 'safe' as you can never ever say for definite if you will or won't be sick.

I'm currently having long term cbt and exposure which has helped somewhat but nowhere near a level where I need it to. Although I am aware that the phobia is irrational, it's unbelievably hard to 'get over' or 'cure'. Unbelievably hard. It's listed as a complex phobia for a reason! I'm aware that this is a long, long process and I will be in therapy for years to attempt to get past this but I am determined. ♥️[/quote]
I'm so sorry you're struggling with this too @thechocolatefrog - it's such a horrible, debilitating mental health condition and one that so few people understand. I'm sorry you've had such a bad time with doctors not understanding too.

You're totally right- it's that feeling of never being fully safe, which is just unbearable and so restrictive.

It's inspiring to hear that you're determined to get better too though- I feel like I missed out on a lot of my childhood, teens and twenties to this condition and missed so many key milestones/events/situations because of it- I really need this to stop now and to start to rebuild my life.

@HRTQueen

I think my fear started when I had a sickness bug around the age of 9 I was in so much pain and my body was trying to bring up food but nothing was there

I know it’s better to be sick and it’s going to happen I just get in a panic and upset

Yeah my fear was reinforced by contracting a severe case of Norovirus aged 8/9 too. I think I already had the phobia after some trauma in early childhood but that definitely reinforced it.

@EmetophobicElle

It's taken me a long time to gain this determination. The determination is solely for the hopes of one day having a child. That's what keeps me pushing.

I too have missed so many events and milestones which I kick myself for.
I've also not been sick for over 20 years!

I hope you can beat the phobia too x

Do you know what triggered you to have this phobia op? What are you afraid is going to happen if you do get a bug, is it that you’re afraid of choking or something?

For me, thinking I'm going to vomit does scare me, does make me anxious, but I know if it happens it's a good thing as it is out. For example sick bug- good the virus is coming out and I'm getting better. If I'm drunk- that's my body saying I've had enough and I need to stick to water. Vomiting happens to us all. It's not pleasant but there's a reason for it. I tend to think of how much better I would feel after vomiting.

I haven't got a phobia of vomit, but I know phobias are very personal and while it may seem rational to you it isn't to others, I've got a phobia and I can see how it's irrational but it's also rational to me. When we have a phobia anything is possible, anything can go wrong and it's all very personal to us.

I am afraid of getting a sickness bug, I am afraid of getting sick in general but sickness bugs, Covid (which I've just had and wasn't nice), flu are all horrible, so I make sure I'm washing and sanitising hands where I can, but norovirus is only really about in the cold months, and I don't tend to think about it, I have only had it a very few amount of times in my life, and I can't completely control whether or not I get it, and I know I'm bound to get it at some point again and when it happens it happens and I deal with it, vomit a few times and get better

I used to be emetophobic as a child and have more or less grown out of it. I still hate vomiting but I have got to a point where this doesn’t dominate my life.

I think the thing that eventually got me past it was the realisation that sometimes being sick is actually a huge release and is just what you need.

and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

When I was a teen I felt so sick during my periods that I vomited every two hours for the first 2 or 3 days. I'm pretty ok with vomiting now. It's not that I like the feeling but I can relax through it and I know that I'll feel slightly better afterwards. It's the sickness feeling before that I really dislike if it takes too long.

So in my case I think that experience has helped me.

Me personally l hate the feeling of nausea most, eg when you've drank too much and you know it's coming but you spend ages feeling awful, then when you finally throw up its a massive relief and you instantly feel better. So I don't hate throwing up at all, in fact I would wish for it to happen because I know I'll feel do much better afterwards compared to the nausea. If the body deems it necessary to get something out of your system then it will. It's a good thing we have this mechanism and quite clever when you think about it, otherwise people would be dropping dead left right and centre from alcohol/food poisoning etc

[quote thechocolatefrog]@EmetophobicElle

It's taken me a long time to gain this determination. The determination is solely for the hopes of one day having a child. That's what keeps me pushing.

I too have missed so many events and milestones which I kick myself for.
I've also not been sick for over 20 years!

I hope you can beat the phobia too x[/quote]
That's great that you have that to motivate you! I would love to have a baby in the future too but I am worried about my age and my OCD/Emet are so restrictive that it may not happen for me.

Good luck with your recovery @thechocolatefrog , I'm rooting for you!

@Sapphireskies

For me, thinking I'm going to vomit does scare me, does make me anxious, but I know if it happens it's a good thing as it is out. For example sick bug- good the virus is coming out and I'm getting better. If I'm drunk- that's my body saying I've had enough and I need to stick to water. Vomiting happens to us all. It's not pleasant but there's a reason for it. I tend to think of how much better I would feel after vomiting.

Yeah that's a good way of looking at it for drunk vomiting or food poisoning.

Unfortunately for sickness bugs e.g. Norovirus, the virus actually tricks your body into vomiting but vomiting doesn't enable your body to get rid of the virus. It's a virus's way of hijacking the body to enable the virus to spread. It's a bit like how a sneeze doesn't get rid of the virus, it just helps it to spread.

It's a good thing we have this mechanism and quite clever when you think about it, otherwise people would be dropping dead left right and centre from alcohol/food poisoning etc

Absolutely!

I once accidentally swallowed something toxic (boring story, stupid mistake) and was immediately sick. I would have poisoned myself if that hadn't happened. As it was, since my stomach emptied itself before the poison could hurt me I suffered no ill effects whatsoever. It was actually quite amazing how quick the reaction was - the human body is an incredible thing and vomiting is definitely part of that!

I used to be, to the point I had slightly disordered eating, having a list of 'unsafe' foods and eating situations that I would avoid. If I saw someone being sick, I wouldn't be able to get it out of my mind for days, almost like id witnessed something very traumatic. To my great shame, I once even avoided helping a drunk woman through fear she would vomit. I'm not sure why, but over the years I've just improved, and now I'd say I have a normal dislike, but nothing debilitating. I think its partly exposure. My DS was very prone to bugs that went though the house and I caught several that while unpleasant, were nothing like as bad as my fear. It also helped me to think of my fear as natural. Vomiting is often a sign of illness that its in our nature to avoid, so apprehension is reasonable, and understanding that, gives perspective. So I'd think, what am I actually scared of here, because that person being ill isn't going to make me ill, which helped.

I just don't think about it at all. If I start thinking about stomach bugs etc I just divert my thoughts to something completely different.

@User310

Do you know what triggered you to have this phobia op? What are you afraid is going to happen if you do get a bug, is it that you’re afraid of choking or something?

I'm really not sure what I'm so scared of now- I'm almost more scared of being completely overwhelmed with nausea than vomiting myself but because other people vomiting might lead to me developing a stomach bug (as viral vomit is very contagious) then I'm scared of the sight and sound of other people throwing up.

I had quite a lot of traumatic health related triggers before the age of 7 (seeing someone I loved almost die from repeated serious chokes [due to a medical condition], witnessing another family member vomit blood before having a seizure) and I had a situation where my vomiting meant I was separated from a parent when they were in hospital. I also had quite a few severe cases of Norovirus as a kid so there are reasons for it. I just need to learn that it's just a normal bodily process and stop feeling so terrified!

@thepeopleversuswork

I used to be emetophobic as a child and have more or less grown out of it. I still hate vomiting but I have got to a point where this doesn’t dominate my life.

I think the thing that eventually got me past it was the realisation that sometimes being sick is actually a huge release and is just what you need.

That's good and makes sense but I think I'm almost as scared of just feeling very nauseated as I am of the actual vomiting so I avoid other people who are sick (and any situation where they might be) because they might give me something that causes that feeling and associated stomach pain etc.

@HorseInTheHouse

It's a good thing we have this mechanism and quite clever when you think about it, otherwise people would be dropping dead left right and centre from alcohol/food poisoning etc

Absolutely!

I once accidentally swallowed something toxic (boring story, stupid mistake) and was immediately sick. I would have poisoned myself if that hadn't happened. As it was, since my stomach emptied itself before the poison could hurt me I suffered no ill effects whatsoever. It was actually quite amazing how quick the reaction was - the human body is an incredible thing and vomiting is definitely part of that!

Yeah that's true. In a way, I am really glad that we've evolved to be able to vomit out toxic substances.

Unfortunately it doesn't stop me from being scared of sickness bugs and vomiting especially as with sickness bugs the vomiting isn't actually helpful at all (the virus hijacks the body's ability to vomit to enable it to spread to other hosts but it doesn't actually help the body to get rid of the virus, in the same way that a sneeze doesn't help you to get rid of a cold/flu/covid.

@5128gap

I used to be, to the point I had slightly disordered eating, having a list of 'unsafe' foods and eating situations that I would avoid. If I saw someone being sick, I wouldn't be able to get it out of my mind for days, almost like id witnessed something very traumatic. To my great shame, I once even avoided helping a drunk woman through fear she would vomit. I'm not sure why, but over the years I've just improved, and now I'd say I have a normal dislike, but nothing debilitating. I think its partly exposure. My DS was very prone to bugs that went though the house and I caught several that while unpleasant, were nothing like as bad as my fear. It also helped me to think of my fear as natural. Vomiting is often a sign of illness that its in our nature to avoid, so apprehension is reasonable, and understanding that, gives perspective. So I'd think, what am I actually scared of here, because that person being ill isn't going to make me ill, which helped.

That's so god to hear that you found that the sickness bugs that you caught were not as bad as you imagined they might be.

*good

I'm fortunate in that I'm very rarely sick, last time I had a stomach bug was about six or seven years ago and I was only sick once even though I felt rough for three days, and I've looked after DH with Norovirus and DS has had a few stomach bugs in that time.

But I was very, very sick during pregnancy and nobody would do anything about it unless it got to the point that I needed to be hospitalised, so I worked hard to avoid that and had a miserable and stressful pregnancy. Since then I understand why somebody would have emetophobia because not wanting to be sick like that again is one of the reasons I chose to stick with just one child even though I always wanted two.

I too suffer with emetephobia.

I have not been sick in 24 years (i was 19 and pregnant)

Over the years I have tried CBT, Medicines etc etc...

I am in a better place now, but still not over it 100% - I think exposure therapy worked the most for me.

I still will run a mile if someone is sick - but don't constantly think about it all the time anymore.
Life is too short to worry about Sick - I live each day as it comes - and if i encounter it - only deal with it then.

I literally lost years of my life avoidng situations - and decided enough was enough! You have to train your self to nt think about it all the time (Fluxotine has helped me tons)

@thechocolatefrog and @EmetophobicElle

I am so like you both. I understand and feel exactly as you do. And I AM a mother. To a son who I carried myself (I was looking into surrogacy as the only way I could be a mother as I was too emetophobic to believe I could cope with pregnancy).
But I did it. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I felt nauseous for 8 weeks but I coped. I promise you can also if you want to.

I am a logical and methodical human and I found this worked for me

Take anti emetic drugs. Don’t delay. Just have them ready. I found cyclizine works for me. The research proves it’s safe and ignore anyone who tells you it’s wrong to impact your baby. It didn’t and they wouldn’t prescribe them if it’s dangerous.

I have the emeterm watch which gives electrical pulse to your pressure point. It really helped me.

I didn’t even try and go to work / travel jn a car/ see people. I sat up. In bed. Watched my iPad for 2 months straight. I can’t sleep or lay down if I feel sick so days and nights blurred into each other.

I marked every day off the calendar I was closer to getting past the 3 month stage. Not everyone is less sick, but I read all the statistics and luckily by week 14/15 it was gone

I had an elective c section where I told my anaesthetist I was emetophobic. He gave me anti ems tics and I did not throw up during the procedure or in recovery. I took my own cyclizine into hospital in case the nurses were too busy.

I got through pregnancy and childbirth without vomiting. Yes I felt sick and had some uncomfortable days. But I did it and you can too if that’s what you want

Non emetophobics will think I sound mad. But I am actually very sane, smart and successful woman with a sad and debilitating phobia. It’s like someone scared of heights who jumped
Out a plane or someone who hates spiders living with one in their house. For me this is the biggest achievement

@GrolliffetheDragon

I'm fortunate in that I'm very rarely sick, last time I had a stomach bug was about six or seven years ago and I was only sick once even though I felt rough for three days, and I've looked after DH with Norovirus and DS has had a few stomach bugs in that time.

But I was very, very sick during pregnancy and nobody would do anything about it unless it got to the point that I needed to be hospitalised, so I worked hard to avoid that and had a miserable and stressful pregnancy. Since then I understand why somebody would have emetophobia because not wanting to be sick like that again is one of the reasons I chose to stick with just one child even though I always wanted two.

I'm sorry you had HG and were so unwell during pregnancy, that must have been awful. I think that I'm particularly scared of that horrible nauseous feeling so cannot imagine it going on for weeks!