To wonder why more people are not emetophobic?

[EmetophobicElle]

I'm severely emetophobic to the extent that it affects all areas of my life. I'm phobic of being being sick, seeing anyone be sick, (this means I avoid lots of situations where someone may be sick - e.g. the cinema, theatre, restaurants, supermarkets, theme parks), seeing vomit (or vomit-like substances), catching Norovirus/stomach bugs (so have lots of cleaning compulsions and extensive avoidance etc). I know I need to get better from this and I'm having CBT at the moment.

However I was watching Last Leg last night where Josh Widdicombe was saying he's just recovered from a really nasty stomach bug and that it was awful etc. and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

I haven't vomited in 13 years, despite pregnancies and sickness bugs tearing through the house: I have not been sick. I loathe being sick, it scares me and it hurts my stomach. I can't deal well with someone else heaving (sympathy heaver!) but I can clear up sick. As a mother, it's a power I had to grasp at quickly. I even have a night time sick system now- if my kids are ill, a bottle of peppermint oil goes in my dressing gown pocket (so I can cope with the smell during clean up) and their duvet is replaced by sheet and blanket (too many puked on duvets- wash nightmare!) and then old towels go down on the floor. Children waking up to puke almost always attempt to lean over the side of the bed, even if they have a bowl!

Someone retching in the night is a sound that will wake me up instantly. I also seem to have a sense of impending doom over vomit, because I could register my kids moving around in the night a thousand times and think nothing of it, but when it's going to turn into a vomit night I just know. So then I tend to run to whoever it is and whisk them to the bathroom fast.

I think that the reason more people aren’t emetophobic is because puke is something many people see a lot. Ok it isn’t nice - but neither is turd - and all people do that regularly. Tbh, I think cleaning up sick is less offensive than cleaning up shit. In both cases the body is getting rid of unwanted stuff.

Plus I remember my siblings puking, my dog pukes from time to time when he eats something stupid, kids puke…drunk people puke…I kind of think of it as ordinary.

What I meant was that as nearly everyone finds vomiting very unpleasant, why are more people not afraid of vomiting/sickness bugs. I do know that it's a phobia so my reactions are illogical/excessive but whenever there's a thread about Norovirus, people mention feeling like death or feeling the worst they've felt etc. so it just makes me wonder why they're then not scared of getting sick again!

Finding something unpleasant doesn't have to equate to being scared of it, though. I find several things in life unpleasant - but I'm not scared of them and I don't spend my life trying to avoid them. The idea that I'd avoid supermarkets and movie theatres "because someone might be sick there " seems most extreme to me. Your life must be very limited, since literally everywhere in the world, at any time, could result in you seeing someone being sick.

I agree with the previous poster - if you were living in the Ukraine right now, I doubt that you'd be worrying endlessly about being sick when there were bombs raining down on your home, and your neighbours were starving to death.

[quote thalassa00]@EmetophobicElle I don't think that's true any more than Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia or suicidal Clinical Depression being disorders of privilege- all of them are slightly more rare in developing countries, in fact suicide rates are really low in lots of places. They're still significant problems. I'm not sure that Emetophobia even is that rare in those situations and OCD certainly exists in those environments too.

It also felt to me (as a fellow sufferer) that singling emetophobia out a "disease of privilege" was just adding a fabulous dollop of guilt and condescension on top of everything else [/quote]
Nah. Just practicalities.

I'm claustrophobic. Can't have my legs underneath a quilt, tucked in bedsheets or wear a dress that zips up at the back in case I get trapped in it and get it in crowded spaces where there's no visible exit. The notion of spelunking and deliberately putting oneself into a situation where being trapped, injured, suffocating/dying horribly in the dark is horrific to me. I can list the events that have probably contributed to this since birth, but I'll stick with just one that still leaves me deep breathing to try and calm myself down when I think about it. Because, you know, it's a phobia.

The existence of a tight frock I couldn't fully undo by myself and got caught around my chest and throat whilst trying to take it off was of considerably lower importance to me when I was right in the middle of rioting a decade ago, properties and a bus had been set alight within a few hundred yards and there were people gathering outside my house planning further activities. As I sat in the dark and silence, listening to what was going on outside, I was thinking about the very real, immediate potential risk to my safety - not badly designed womenswear.

@starrynight21

What I meant was that as nearly everyone finds vomiting very unpleasant, why are more people not afraid of vomiting/sickness bugs. I do know that it's a phobia so my reactions are illogical/excessive but whenever there's a thread about Norovirus, people mention feeling like death or feeling the worst they've felt etc. so it just makes me wonder why they're then not scared of getting sick again!

Finding something unpleasant doesn't have to equate to being scared of it, though. I find several things in life unpleasant - but I'm not scared of them and I don't spend my life trying to avoid them. The idea that I'd avoid supermarkets and movie theatres "because someone might be sick there " seems most extreme to me. Your life must be very limited, since literally everywhere in the world, at any time, could result in you seeing someone being sick.

I agree with the previous poster - if you were living in the Ukraine right now, I doubt that you'd be worrying endlessly about being sick when there were bombs raining down on your home, and your neighbours were starving to death.

I don't think that's true. I'm sure there are emetophobes in the Ukraine currently worried about vomiting. Sure they're more worried about bombs and about their family's survival but if they're emetophobic , they won't suddenly stop being emetophobic because they're living through the terrors of war.

When Covid first started and some of my family members were at risk of death. I was terrified for them. I was still Emetophobic though and almost equally as scared of Norovirus despite there being no risk of death.

I have quite severe emetophobia to the point where I feel incredibly anxious, dizzy and close to fainting at the sight of any sick on the pavement outside, avoid going near anyone who has just been sick, feel traumatised and shocked by people being sick on the tv even if it's a fictional programme. I can't even stand the sight or sound of the V word. I feel extreme disgust and repulsion when I hear/see sick or anything to do with it. But it's not a phobia I particularly want to get over because who the hell wants to get more comfortable with it?! I think I know why my fear developed - a lot of other kids seemed to be sick at school. There always seemed to be someone who had been sick and sometimes near to me. I haven't been sick myself for many years because I try to avoid as much as possible anything that could make me sick.

@TheseDaysGoBy

I have quite severe emetophobia to the point where I feel incredibly anxious, dizzy and close to fainting at the sight of any sick on the pavement outside, avoid going near anyone who has just been sick, feel traumatised and shocked by people being sick on the tv even if it's a fictional programme. I can't even stand the sight or sound of the V word. I feel extreme disgust and repulsion when I hear/see sick or anything to do with it. But it's not a phobia I particularly want to get over because who the hell wants to get more comfortable with it?! I think I know why my fear developed - a lot of other kids seemed to be sick at school. There always seemed to be someone who had been sick and sometimes near to me. I haven't been sick myself for many years because I try to avoid as much as possible anything that could make me sick.

So you’d rather feel like that constantly than have some sort of therapy to help you tolerate it? It must be exhausting to have such a high ‘alert’ level for sick, I can’t imagine preferring to live like that.

Because genuine phobias are not that common. Lots of People have fears but what you've described is very uncommon. Maybe you've had some past trauma around vomit ?

I think phobias that get in the way of your life need proper treatment to address. I do not like sick but I am able to rationalise and think what’s the worst that will happen if I do have to deal with it? I think when you are unable to rationalise, CBT would be a great help.

The other issue is, the more you avoid it and reaffirm to your brain that vomit is dangerous, hazardous ect the more your brain flagged it as a threat. I would imagine the only way you could really learn to cope with it is to be somewhat exposed to it and learn coping mechanisms.

I have suffered with it since young. It’s started when I was sick aged 4. I remember waking in the night and feeling sick and being really frightened and then being sick. The fear, the taste, the feeling and then seeing it on the floor. It made a deep impression on me. For weeks after I was scared each night it would happen again. The fear then went away but came back age 13 due to anxiety over a school trip and then it stayed with me.
I restricted food, suffered terrible anxiety attacks and it absolutely rule my life which was a constant battle in which I wanted to do normal things such as go on fast rides but didn’t dare in case I was sick. I had therapy but it didn’t really work.

I pushed myself to do things such as go on school exchange trips and events with friends and was very lucky as friends new what I was like and looked after me.
My turning point was having children, I wanted to be a mum so new that I had to face my fear of being sick. It has helped a lot.
I still feel very scared if I feel sick or if my children are sick but I do cope ( just).
It’s a terrible phobia but I try my best not to let it control my life.
Good luck OP I hope things get better for you x

Thos might sound strange but I actually like being sick :) so kind of the opposite problem to you!! I was bulimic for 10 years when I was a teen/early twenties. I love the feeling of cleansing myself of food and when I'm ill, throwing up always makes me feel better! If it wasn't so dangerous I'd still make myself sick but thankfully I realised 20 years ago the damage it can do to make yourself sick alot, so I refrain!

I guess I'm a bit odd!!! :)

I might add... I don't like 'feeling' sick. I just like being sick! In fact, if I feel sick and then I am sick, I usually feel a lot better so adding to my sense of liking being sick :)

I agree with BeautifulMemory - I really hate feeling nauseous (up to a moderate level I would much rather have pain than nausea) and throwing up usually ends or at least massively improves it, so if I start to feel any nausea I want to vomit as quickly and thoroughly as possible to put an end to the whole thing. So I associate throwing up with relief of a horrible symptom rather than being a symptom in itself.

Emetophobic must be the worst kind of phobia. The normal treatment for phobias is that you start talking about the subject more, then you go look at it, then look for a bit longer, then touch. That would just be disgusting. How would you even do it?

"And now my assistant will vomit in front of us, so you can get used to it"?
I wouldn't want to work for that doctor.

It's down to various things, things that condition us in life over years or decades. I'm afraid of spiders, they freak me out, but rodents I'm not bothered, husband is opposite. I can clean up endless poo without caring, husband couldn't, would knock him sick. When it comes to vomit I cannot clean up vomit, I had to tell the boss at the bar I worked in that there'd be no point sending me to clean up vomit from the toilets as all that would happen is there would be more vomit. Had it been poo I could have done it all day long while others would find that bizarre.

You're not going to be able to pin down the reasons for these many nuanced responses; they are automatic and formed over many small and big events in a person’s life.

@TheseDaysGoBy

I have quite severe emetophobia to the point where I feel incredibly anxious, dizzy and close to fainting at the sight of any sick on the pavement outside, avoid going near anyone who has just been sick, feel traumatised and shocked by people being sick on the tv even if it's a fictional programme. I can't even stand the sight or sound of the V word. I feel extreme disgust and repulsion when I hear/see sick or anything to do with it. But it's not a phobia I particularly want to get over because who the hell wants to get more comfortable with it?! I think I know why my fear developed - a lot of other kids seemed to be sick at school. There always seemed to be someone who had been sick and sometimes near to me. I haven't been sick myself for many years because I try to avoid as much as possible anything that could make me sick.

What you are describing is an anxiety reaction to a situation that you feel is out with your control. What an absolute shame that you don’t want to get better from your phobia, why would you want to Continue with such restrictions on your life when there are opportunities to improve your situation. This is the struggle with mental health, so many conditions are manageable with the right care and treatment package. Why would you not do that?

People seem to take great pleasure in diagnosing themselves with something I mean seriously, who the fuck likes the physical act of vomiting ....................

I'd love to know how many of the MN emetophobes have got a professional diagnosis.

boodle - why come on to a post like this and say such a thing unless you are a complete arse.
Go busy yourself with something else and leave people like me alone. We struggle enough without people like you - you silly little keyboard warrior. Bet you wouldn’t dare in real life but behind your keyboard well be as mean as you like.
Oh and to I give - give it up love, your just being nasty too and another keyboard warrior 🙄

@BoodleBug51

People seem to take great pleasure in diagnosing themselves with something I mean seriously, who the fuck likes the physical act of vomiting ....................

I'd love to know how many of the MN emetophobes have got a professional diagnosis.

Well me for one; as I said I've had a three-month NHS treatment stay in hospital for my OCD and Emetophobia (or 'Specific Phobia of Vomiting' as the Maudsley like to call it).

As you say no-one like vomiting; not everyone is so crippled by their mental health when it comes to vomit/vomiting that they literally cannot live a normal life. It is a real condition and not something that is only self-diagnosed!

@IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0

OP: Okay, you want the gold medal for your phobia - yours is worse than anyone elses's and you suffer more than anyone else! Well, you've got the medal, just hope you don't have a medal phobia!

I really don't want a medal and don't think my phobia is worse than all other phobias. My original comment about Emetophobia being worse than some other specific phobias that are less likely to occur in everyday situations was only because someone else commented that it wasn't even a real phobia!

@BestZebbie

I agree with BeautifulMemory - I really hate feeling nauseous (up to a moderate level I would much rather have pain than nausea) and throwing up usually ends or at least massively improves it, so if I start to feel any nausea I want to vomit as quickly and thoroughly as possible to put an end to the whole thing. So I associate throwing up with relief of a horrible symptom rather than being a symptom in itself.

Yeah part of my phobia is of nausea really, in fact it's possible that it has more to do with that than with the disgusting action of puking.

@BeautifulMemory

Thos might sound strange but I actually like being sick :) so kind of the opposite problem to you!! I was bulimic for 10 years when I was a teen/early twenties. I love the feeling of cleansing myself of food and when I'm ill, throwing up always makes me feel better! If it wasn't so dangerous I'd still make myself sick but thankfully I realised 20 years ago the damage it can do to make yourself sick alot, so I refrain!

I guess I'm a bit odd!!! :)

That's really helpful for me to hear actually BeautifulMemory- thank you! I'm also so sorry you've struggled with Bulimia, that must have been awful- well done for getting better!

@Basilandparsleyandmint

I have suffered with it since young. It’s started when I was sick aged 4. I remember waking in the night and feeling sick and being really frightened and then being sick. The fear, the taste, the feeling and then seeing it on the floor. It made a deep impression on me. For weeks after I was scared each night it would happen again. The fear then went away but came back age 13 due to anxiety over a school trip and then it stayed with me. I restricted food, suffered terrible anxiety attacks and it absolutely rule my life which was a constant battle in which I wanted to do normal things such as go on fast rides but didn’t dare in case I was sick. I had therapy but it didn’t really work. I pushed myself to do things such as go on school exchange trips and events with friends and was very lucky as friends new what I was like and looked after me. My turning point was having children, I wanted to be a mum so new that I had to face my fear of being sick. It has helped a lot. I still feel very scared if I feel sick or if my children are sick but I do cope ( just). It’s a terrible phobia but I try my best not to let it control my life. Good luck OP I hope things get better for you x

I'm sorry you've struggle with this horrible condition too Basilandparsleyandmint but that's really inspirational to read that you are doing better with it now!

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