To wonder why more people are not emetophobic?

[EmetophobicElle]

I'm severely emetophobic to the extent that it affects all areas of my life. I'm phobic of being being sick, seeing anyone be sick, (this means I avoid lots of situations where someone may be sick - e.g. the cinema, theatre, restaurants, supermarkets, theme parks), seeing vomit (or vomit-like substances), catching Norovirus/stomach bugs (so have lots of cleaning compulsions and extensive avoidance etc). I know I need to get better from this and I'm having CBT at the moment.

However I was watching Last Leg last night where Josh Widdicombe was saying he's just recovered from a really nasty stomach bug and that it was awful etc. and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

[quote thalassa00]@EmetophobicElle solidarity, I have this too - I could have written your post, and have been scrolling incredulously at all the posters saying "it's just sick" etc. 

I come out in a cold sweat if I read on a local Facebook page that "there's a bug doing the rounds", or, worse, if I hear there's a vomiting bug doing the rounds at school (I try not to listen to other parents' chatter at drop-off/pick-up, as I am paranoid that everyone is talking about how their DC have been recently sick).

Just like @bumblenbean , after I hear about a bug or feel that we have been in a situation where we might have picked something up, I then calculate how long since the potential exposure and work out when I feel "safe" that no-one has caught anything. A lot of worrying goes on during that possible 'incubation period', and hypervigilance for any symptoms in me or another family member (silently!! - I do try to keep all my worry in my head, I am very conscious about not wanting to pass this anxiety on to my DC).

I have a lot of cleaning rituals that I do whenever we return from anywhere public (and especially when DC come back from school ) - although I think they are proportionate and sensible (of course I do! ). I too am very avoidant - eg I have only ever been to soft play once, for me that is the worst place (especially as it seems kids often do get vomiting bugs from soft play).

I will avoid public toilets when out and about, and try and hold on for as long as possible, for fear that people have been being sick in them and I will catch something. I've had to temper this somewhat since DC toilet trained and of course if they need to go when out, I have to take them! I suppose that's a bit like exposure therapy? (I try and tell myself in the hours afterwards "look, we went to a public toilet today and everyone is still fine, no-one caught anything").

I also get very VERY angry at people disregarding the "48hr rule" and going out and about whilst contagious with a vomiting bug. Especially sending kids to school whilst infectious. WHY inflict this avoidable misery on the rest of us? I really wish public health gave more prominence to vomiting bugs, and especially noro - I think it should be a notifiable disease (it is in other countries).

For me, my phobia isn't the act of being sick (or helping a family member who is being sick) that is the issue - as pp say that is unpleasant but you just get on with it. I was sick a lot in my pregnancies. It's a) the cleaning - again not the act of cleaning, just that takes ages to get through all the washing/drying, and I panic about the duvet etc getting sick on (hard to wash!) - and b) the disruption to plans. I often have a lot going on, and the thought of having to cancel plans and let people down as a vomiting bug makes its way around the family is the worst thing, I think.

@Somethingsnappy Does anyone who has this phobia have any insight into what caused theirs?

I have wondered about this. I have vivid memories of a school holiday ruined by a vomiting bug when I was in primary (went through whole family in sequence). It stopped us going on a planned holiday to my grandparents' house, which I used to love. I remember it being a really quiet and boring holiday. So I think that's the root of it, and it ties in with "potential disruption to plans" being a big part of my phobia.

However, I wouldn't say I was phobic right from that point - I don't remember being avoidant or hypervigilant about sickness bugs until I became a parent.

I'm working on my emetophobia with my therapist and really hoping it will reduce the time and mental effort that I expend on this. One strategy that I have found helpful is to bring my focus back to the present, like mindfulness - "no-one is being sick right now, if someone is sick in the next second/minute/hour/day I will deal with it then, but in this moment everything is OK". And repeat.

[/quote]
I'm working on my emetophobia with my therapist and really hoping it will reduce the time and mental effort that I expend on this. One strategy that I have found helpful is to bring my focus back to the present, like mindfulness - "no-one is being sick right now, if someone is sick in the next second/minute/hour/day I will deal with it then, but in this moment everything is OK". And repeat.

@thalassa00 That sounds like a helpful strategy- I hope you start to recover from your Emetophobia soon!

@DingleyDel

I was very sick phobic as a child and until my mid 20s (the upside is that I would never drink to excess for fear of throwing up). When I got pregnant and I was sick every day for 24 weeks I had to just roll with it and I would say that cured me. Luckily my kids haven’t been sick that much but I’m determined to be casual about it and not pass on my fear. I still hate being sick (would choose any other illness over vomiting) but I’m certainly not as terrified as I used to be because of exposure I guess.

That's great DingleyDel! (I mean not great that you were so sick everyday for yonks but you know!). I would love to be able to recover like that and it's good that you're planning how to approach vomiting so that your kids don't become emetophobic too.

@SouperNoodle

If someone else is sick it makes me feel queasy but I'm in no way scared of it. I think I'm used to it as I got ill a lot as a child. My heart goes out to those that suffer with it. I had a friend who suffered terribly and had therapy which helped. One thing she was told to do as part of the therapy was help people who were being sick, like bring them water/tissues for exposure. It really helped her overcome the fear.

Thank you SouperNoodle. It's nice to read a kind reply from someone without the phobia!

A phobia is irrational. Why would you expect more people to share it?

I'm not sure I have any phobias as such

I can't deal with other peoples sick, but I'm fine with my Children's.

I’d never heard of emetophobia before I came on Mumsnet! As a pp said, it’s unpleasant, but part of life. Like poo and snot and other such things. If it happens to you or your kids, then you cope with it.

I have it. I don’t know what triggered it. It’s improved recently (probably because of norovirus x2 and another bug in the last 2 months). I don’t faint anymore, but I still end up with extreme anxiety. I can’t sleep at all if one of the DC has a bug. Luckily for me DH is completely unbothered by vomit so sleeps in with them and deals with the cleaning up.

The thing that bothers me is the lack of certainty over whether and when a bug is on its way and the prospect of vomit all over bed linen, the wall, carpet and so on. However I’ve put systems in place to manage the practical issues. I also clean manically if there is a bug in the house. I think that is sensible though.

We learn by association.

I’m emetophobic too (less sk these days with the ‘risk taking’).

It’s easy to develop a fear of something. One bad experience so traumatic (to the individual) can cause it.

For me, I learned much, much later in life that before I was even 1 year old, the whole family contracted norovirus at the same time. I’ve had this as an adult. It’s fucking awful. I can imagine I was left feeling sick, being sick whilst my parents were doing the same and unable to look after me. Maybe that’s where mine stemmed from.

Some of the examples you mentioned, cinema, theatres etc I go to a lot now. I’ve never seen anyone be sick. In fact my love is very fulfilled these days and I’ve never seen anyone vomit whilst out and about.

Do they get some CBT. It’s so helpful. And my general anxiety is lower three days which I do believe quashes the phobias symptoms.

I was in the bus just, shortly after students returned to University.
Upstairs on a double decker. A student got on drinking a large bottle of flavoured water. He then projectile vomited it all down the stairs. We all had to get off and walk downstairs through it all. Driver asked him if he had had a heavy night. The student nodded. I was disgusted and spoke up and was then told I was "unsympathetic".

@springisaroundthecorner

I was in the bus just, shortly after students returned to University. Upstairs on a double decker. A student got on drinking a large bottle of flavoured water. He then projectile vomited it all down the stairs. We all had to get off and walk downstairs through it all. Driver asked him if he had had a heavy night. The student nodded. I was disgusted and spoke up and was then told I was "unsympathetic".

Oh no, poor you (and also yuck!)- honestly unless I had overheard that it was just hangover vomit, I wouldn't have been able to get off the bus without some sort of significant assistance or until the staircase had been cleaned. If someone ever vomited with contagious Norovirus down some stairs on a bus or anywhere that I would need to walk past, I couldn't without a panic attack and extensive compulsions (e.g. throwing away my shoes, handbag, mobile, clothes, showering for hours etc).

If I see vomit on the pavement I will avoid walking that way for a month afterwards (as Noro can only last a month on surfaces).

@damnthisvirusandmarriage

We learn by association.

I’m emetophobic too (less sk these days with the ‘risk taking’).

It’s easy to develop a fear of something. One bad experience so traumatic (to the individual) can cause it.

For me, I learned much, much later in life that before I was even 1 year old, the whole family contracted norovirus at the same time. I’ve had this as an adult. It’s fucking awful. I can imagine I was left feeling sick, being sick whilst my parents were doing the same and unable to look after me. Maybe that’s where mine stemmed from.

Some of the examples you mentioned, cinema, theatres etc I go to a lot now. I’ve never seen anyone be sick. In fact my love is very fulfilled these days and I’ve never seen anyone vomit whilst out and about.

Do they get some CBT. It’s so helpful. And my general anxiety is lower three days which I do believe quashes the phobias symptoms.

Yes definitely. It's great that you discovered what caused your phobia.

Did CBT help you a lot? I've had a lot of CBT but I think it is helping this time.

@WimpoleHat

I’d never heard of emetophobia before I came on Mumsnet! As a pp said, it’s unpleasant, but part of life. Like poo and snot and other such things. If it happens to you or your kids, then you cope with it.

It's fairly rare (I think it's somewhere between 1 in 500 and to 1 in 1000 of the population have SPOV/Emetophobia) but it's always been a condition and has been a debilitating one at that. That's a good way of looking at it though, thanks.

@Jonny1265

A phobia is irrational. Why would you expect more people to share it?

I don't expect or want people to share it. It's more just that if people are going to say how terrible they feel when they get Norovirus then surely they should then feel afraid of it and take precautions etc./behave in a phobic way? I'm glad that most people don't have Emetophobia though!

@BattledoreAndShuttlecock

A proper bout of Norovirus is horrible, and if it was doing the rounds locally I'd be very wary. But a minor bout of vomiting due to travel sickness, over indulgence in alcohol, or mild food poisoning is a pretty minor inconvenience in most people's lives, and in the latter cases I know from experience that I'll probably feel slightly better after being sick.

Similarly I'd be rightly terrified of an injury resulting in massive blood loss, but I don't faint or scream if I cut my finger while cooking.

I guess my fear is actually better defined as 'Norovirus and food poisoning phobia'- if someone vomits from too much alcohol I do feel scared but knowing that I won't catch it and fall ill means that the anxiety passes much more quickly. I'm really scared of getting gastroenteritis (norovirus, salmonella) myself!

I don't know. Vomit doesn't bother me in the slightest. I find it pretty easy to deal with tbh. I was handy to have around when I was a barmaid.

Blood is the issue for me though. Massively blood phobic which means hospitals are stressful.

@BrioNotBiro

It can feel good to be sick - mildly unpleasant at the time, but you feel so much better after. It's your body expelling bad stuff.

Well sometimes but if you have virus vomiting doesn't actually get rid of the virus. The virus 'tricks' your body into vomiting so that it can spread, just like a sneeze doesn't get rid of bad stuff, it just helps the cold/flu/covid to spread.

@Calandor

I don't know. Vomit doesn't bother me in the slightest. I find it pretty easy to deal with tbh. I was handy to have around when I was a barmaid.

Blood is the issue for me though. Massively blood phobic which means hospitals are stressful.

Yeah I think blood phobia sounds similarly disabling/restrictive and has a lot in common with vomit phobia. I cannot go to GP practices or hospitals either.

And I've never been bothered about being sick either. It is what it is. I've not had a sickness bug since I was about 10 though... nor food poisoning. So I don't take precautions because in my head it's an unlikely scenario to happen.

@user1471592953

I have it. I don’t know what triggered it. It’s improved recently (probably because of norovirus x2 and another bug in the last 2 months). I don’t faint anymore, but I still end up with extreme anxiety. I can’t sleep at all if one of the DC has a bug. Luckily for me DH is completely unbothered by vomit so sleeps in with them and deals with the cleaning up.

The thing that bothers me is the lack of certainty over whether and when a bug is on its way and the prospect of vomit all over bed linen, the wall, carpet and so on. However I’ve put systems in place to manage the practical issues. I also clean manically if there is a bug in the house. I think that is sensible though.

Yeah I think I'm the same about the uncertainty of it all and of who is going to catch the sickness bug and when etc.

@Calandor

And I've never been bothered about being sick either. It is what it is. I've not had a sickness bug since I was about 10 though... nor food poisoning. So I don't take precautions because in my head it's an unlikely scenario to happen.

That's really helpful Calandor- thanks! I have had more and more recent stomach bugs than you but you're right that it's actually an unlikely scenario :-) .

I have regular blood tests at the hospital and my blood phobia makes them hellish. Have had to have a psychologist with me for them several times and I have massive panic attacks.

Phobias are awful. Sorry you have to deal with one OP.

@lifeuphigh

Because there isn’t usually much risk from vomiting. The most common phobias (spiders, heights etc) are related to risk of death/serious harm (albeit totally irrational in most cases… eg house spiders).

Well phobia of spiders would make sense in a situation where there were poisonous spiders and vomit phobia would make sense in an environment where there was a deadly contagious disease involving vomiting and/or that spreads through vomit which does happen but just not in the UK in the moment. Both make sense from an evolutionary perspective.

@Calandor

I have regular blood tests at the hospital and my blood phobia makes them hellish. Have had to have a psychologist with me for them several times and I have massive panic attacks.

Phobias are awful. Sorry you have to deal with one OP.

Definitely. Sorry if you read up-thread that I compare other phobias as less restrictive (in response to someone saying that it's not a real phobia)- my Emetophobia is all-consuming in lots of respects and means I can barely do anything BUT I can absolutely see how blood phobia would be the same.

I'm sorry you have to deal with your phobia on a regular basis like that- it does sound so hard.

[quote [AUTO]jj6l6l0wdihf0]I felt like you OP when I had my first round of CBT for emetophobia. I honestly could not understand why someone (for example) would drink alcohol to the point that they vomited, or enjoyed fair ground rides or boat trips. I just could not understand it. The thing that helped me the absolute most was when my therapist organised a survey. I devised a load of questions, such as ‘if you were on a plane and the person next to you started vomiting what would you do’ (because I would have a massive panic attack and run to the other end of the plane) - and I was astounded with the ‘i would check they were ok, but it wouldnt bother me’ responses. I honestly thought everyone felt the same way that I did. That realisation, that actually I was the one who thought differently was a such a powerful tool for me to recover from my phobia. 15 years later and it doesn’t rule my life anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate vomit. I still have a wobble when I hear there is a stomach bug doing the rounds at my DD’s school - but it doesn’t control my life. To the point where 2 years ago I got a new job in a hospital (I would barely have set foot in one at the height of my phobia) and can now go onto the wards and see patients with sick bowls and it does not phase me.

Continue with your CBT OP and don’t give up - the phobia can be beaten[/quote]
That's really inspiring and amazing that you now work in a hospital (sorry can't remember whether I have replied to you already or not).