To wonder why more people are not emetophobic?

[EmetophobicElle]

I'm severely emetophobic to the extent that it affects all areas of my life. I'm phobic of being being sick, seeing anyone be sick, (this means I avoid lots of situations where someone may be sick - e.g. the cinema, theatre, restaurants, supermarkets, theme parks), seeing vomit (or vomit-like substances), catching Norovirus/stomach bugs (so have lots of cleaning compulsions and extensive avoidance etc). I know I need to get better from this and I'm having CBT at the moment.

However I was watching Last Leg last night where Josh Widdicombe was saying he's just recovered from a really nasty stomach bug and that it was awful etc. and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

I'm a similar vain I have no phobias. I can understand phobias at an intellectual level, but absolutely struggle to truly understand or empathise.

What is rational to one is mind boggling for another.

@Dogsandbabies

I'm a similar vain I have no phobias. I can understand phobias at an intellectual level, but absolutely struggle to truly understand or empathise.

What is rational to one is mind boggling for another.

Same here. I hate rodents, but I’m not scared of them. I just don’t like them. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be phobic of something.

Because you have learned to be phobic.

There is an element of instinct in that humans are hardwired to notice movements of things or particular shapes - such as snakes, spiders, predators - because they might pose a threat, but where a snake isn't going to be a Black Mamba, a spider isn't anything dangerous and dogs aren't rabid, wild or actually wolves, it's learned that they aren't a danger.

Vomiting is something that happens because of a need to make space (wind), remove a potentially damaging substance (poisoning) or as part of illness/doing things that affect the balance and eyesight. Primates will feel nauseous and possibly vomit because historically, the odds are that the group have eaten the same foods and if one vomits, it makes evolutionary sense for the others to also automatically expel those potentially toxic food items before poisoning occurs. Somehow you've learned that vomiting is something to be terrified of, rather than a normal biological response and it's combined with a fear of food/contamination to create your particular type of suffering.

Because things can be unpleasant, difficult,
potentially dangerous etc without causing a phobia in the vast majority of people.

@Blimecory

I don’t understand why anyone is emetophobic. It makes no sense to me at all. It surely feels better to be sick- you’ve got whatever bug/toxin out of you, and your stomach is now at peace.

I think for me it's loss of control maybe. Also phobic about fainting My thought process is - I feel sick. Oh god I don't want to be sick, I need to lie totally still and just breathe and it'll be ok, (sweating) what if I'm sick, I can't stand it, maybe it'll only be once, then if I am sick I sob all the way through it

Weirdly I am fine with other people. If you're vomiting, your leg is hanging off or you are bleeding then call me. Totally calm in a crisis

Wondering what cinemas, theatres, restaurants and supermarkets you’ve been to OP?! Never seen anyone be sick in any of those places!

Because from an evolutionary perspective, being severely emetophobic would not really like having children!

I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

Because it's totally irrational.

No one enjoys sick or watching other be sick but accept sadly it’s a normal human bodily process. Yes it’s got an pleasant odour and look to it but it doesn’t last forever. Furthermore the relief when ill or I have a migraine and throw up makes it bearable. Not being able to be sick is very dangerous - look at horses who have no gag reflex and how bad colic is for them. Many don’t make it because they can’t do a simple process.

It's just a bodily process. Nobody enjoys it. You just have to get in with it.

I have health anxiety and ocd. I also worry about food poisoning. I’m not emetophobic but I am more worried about it than the average person.

@gunnersgold

Everyone hates sick ffs , it's not like other phobias that some people live . No one loves sick but some people are better at coping with it than others .

No, in many ways it is more all-consuming than other phobias. If you have: A phobia of clowns you can avoid clowns A phobia of heights you can avoid heights A phobia of buttons you can avoid buttons

If you have vomit-phobia, to avoid being around others being sick or getting sick yourself you have to avoid:

• Being around other people who might give you sickness bugs
• Public transport especially planes, boats where someone may vomit but even trains and buses as someone may be travel sick
• Getting pregnant as you may vomit
• Medical treatment including medication (which might cause vomiting) or treatment in GP Practices or Hospitals (where you may be see or hear someone vomit OR contract Norovirus)- I once had an asthma attack and needed A&E treatment but couldn't go, I have medical conditions, which I need to see a GP about but cannot.
• Lots of food (e.g. chicken, seafood, eggs) in case you develop food poisoning (if fact lots of Emetophobes develop a specific non-Anorexia Nervosa type of Anorexia as they feel sick after eating)

In fact it's impossible to avoid but the extreme fear and fight or flight response is the same as for that of any other phobia. Emetophobia can lead to Agoraphobia so yes, it really is a phobia.

@EmetophobicElle I totally totally understand. Happy to chat and try and support you

@JKDcot

I am also emetophobic and can understand your perspective *@EmetophobicElle*

I think as it’s our worst fear, all the build up and rituals put in place to avoid it make the issue bigger. So many things “could” trigger you getting sick, so it takes over day to day life.

I think others with a more rational dislike of it only really think about it on the few occasions they feel unwell.

I wish I could fix this phobia but really still struggle

Hi JKDcot, It's horrible isn't it but yes you're right that the compulsions/avoidance etc. make the issue bigger. Have you had any treatment? I've had quite a lot including a three-month stay in an anxiety disorders unit in hospital (for emetophobia and severe OCD) and am having CBT again just now but cannot seem to get rid of it!

I think you may be overestimating how often people are sick while out and about. I’ve been using public transport for years and have never seen anyone be sick. In fact I’ve never seen anyone be sick in a public place (bar the odd drunk in the street at 1am or something but that’s easily avoided). Usually people who feel sick with a bug will stay at home, and anyone who needs to be sick while out will find a toilet.

I’m emetophobic, it’s a disaster if one of the children is sick (I’ve taken many a 3am shower just in case). I can’t clean up anyone’s sick (except the kids) and get panicked if I learn that another child has been sick near my child, or in a timeframe that might put them at risk. Even baby posset was upsetting for me, and my first had reflux which was vile.

That said, it does not stop me from living a relatively normal life. I would not avoid the theatre or the cinema as I don’t consider that to be a particularly likely vomit source. Restaurants with dirty/sticky tables give me the ick though. And street food. At a theme park I would probably be fine; I don’t think I’ve seen much sick there, and the supermarket isn’t especially sicky either.

I’ve managed to do two whole pregnancies without a single vom (though I did feel pretty sick) and tend not to vomit with tummy bugs either. I seem to be able to go to great lengths to avoid actually vomiting.

Being sick just isn't that bad. I mean, it's not fun, but it's less unpleasant than having a headache. I think you're also unaware that all phobias are debilitiating. For eaxmple, you said if you had a fear of buttons, you could just avoid them, whereas f yuou actually had a phobia of buttons you would have to avoid far more places than you avoid due to emetophobia as literally every person you meet could be wearing buttons.

@EmetophobicElle I have struggled with emetophobia since I was a teenager. I’m now 40….
I have tried the Thrive program and CBT but found it hasn’t helped me much. I still go into a complete panic when or if I feel nauseous.
I avoid triggers, I won’t go on a boat, won’t fly on a small plane, sit in the front seat in any car/bus, run a mile if anyone says noro, won’t eat cheap meat or food past the sell by date

Now I get that’sa long list and might seem mad to some. But I think they’re so sensible things regular people do I’m just extra precautionary

The one thing I had to manage was pregnancy. I wanted to be a mother. Morning sickness was the biggest fear I could have thought about. But. I did it. I hated it. Won’t do it again. But I got through it.

I have methods to help if I feel nauseous and some great friends who I lean on for support. You can handle it x

It annoys me when people say ‘nobody likes being sick, doesn’t make it a phobia’. There’s a huge difference between the two. It’s different to, say, a bad headache or the flu - obviously I don’t like those either and would prefer to avoid them but not to extent it impacts my life or makes me think about it any time I’m not experiencing it.

Similarly those saying once you’re sick you feel better…This is often true but (leaving aside the grim noises/ smell/ retching sensation) for me at least it’s not even necessarily the actual vomiting that’s the main issue - it’s the anticipation of it, the dread of not knowing if we’ll catch something we’ve just heard is doing the rounds, where / when it will happen, the uncertainty and lack of control. Like many mental health problems / phobias, it’s more complicated than just hating the act of vomiting.

For me if someone said ‘at 10pm you will be sick’ - I wouldn’t like it but I could cope with it (just!) much better than being told ‘norovirus is going round and your whole family’s been exposed to it, good luck’. I then spend the next few days on edge waiting for the worst.

In a similar vein I’m not particularly bothered by someone puking from drink/ food poisoning / travel sickness etc - if I know it’s not ‘catching’ then I’m ok. Again, comes down to the uncertainty and the ‘waiting’.

Ironically I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually been sick. A couple of times as a child and a couple of times after drinking. I seem to have a strong stomach and have never had a vomiting bug in my adult life. Perhaps this is why I have the phobia - ‘the unknown’ and I’ve exaggerated it in my mind. Despite never being sick myself I also seem to totally overestimate how often others are and how much ‘risk’ there is of catching a bug at any given time.

As a parent now my main issue is the kids getting it. I obviously grit my teeth and get on with it if they are because I have to - but I really dread winter. Again they’ve only been sick a couple of times but that doesn’t stop the irrational over focus on it.

I hate the way people are so scathing of this phobia. Few people would mock those with a phobia of dogs, or blood, or birds or whatever. To me those phobias are irrational but I understand that to the person suffering they are debilitating and isolating.

@bumblenbean I totally agree with your comments. And yes it is debilitating and isolating as people think it’s just something you don’t like. It’s a lot more than that and can become all consuming when you have that waiting period… my story and coping mechanisms sound very similar to you

I really don't have a problem with it. I'm a nurse so it would be a problem if I did!

@Throckmorton

Being sick just isn't that bad. I mean, it's not fun, but it's less unpleasant than having a headache. I think you're also unaware that all phobias are debilitiating. For eaxmple, you said if you had a fear of buttons, you could just avoid them, whereas f yuou actually had a phobia of buttons you would have to avoid far more places than you avoid due to emetophobia as literally every person you meet could be wearing buttons.

Well that's true but literally any person you meet might be carrying a sickness bug and literally every food could be covered in food poisoning bacteria and literally every surface/object might have viral particles on it that could cause vomiting.

Emetophobia is one of the few phobias for which people have inpatient hospital treatment on the NHS (which I have had) and for a reason!

I've got two kids: if they're sick, I have to deal with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I had to fast forward that section of The Last Leg. I've got hypermesis and even before this I couldn't bear any sight of talk of it. I once worked in a school as a TA and a pupil was sick in class 😱 oh god the horror. I came down with norovirus 12 hours later.

DD threw up many times a day every day till she was 5 months and I’d rather deal with sick and poo than snot. I didn’t realise it till I had her but snot is the worst, properly makes me feel ill.

Being sick, children being sick, really doesn’t bother me apart from knowing it means whomever it is feels poorly. We all had noro for a week and it wasn’t great but the puking wasn’t the worst bit. That was a toss up between the exhaustion and not being able to eat.

I’d never heard of the phobia before coming on MN.