To wonder why more people are not emetophobic?

[EmetophobicElle]

I'm severely emetophobic to the extent that it affects all areas of my life. I'm phobic of being being sick, seeing anyone be sick, (this means I avoid lots of situations where someone may be sick - e.g. the cinema, theatre, restaurants, supermarkets, theme parks), seeing vomit (or vomit-like substances), catching Norovirus/stomach bugs (so have lots of cleaning compulsions and extensive avoidance etc). I know I need to get better from this and I'm having CBT at the moment.

However I was watching Last Leg last night where Josh Widdicombe was saying he's just recovered from a really nasty stomach bug and that it was awful etc. and I just wondered why are more people not phobic of vomiting and sickness bugs?

literally every food could be covered in food poisoning bacteria and literally every surface/object might have viral particles on it that could cause vomiting.

Our immune systems cope. In spite of the world being covered with germs, many of us carrying germs most of the time (not just sick bugs, every sort of germ) -- most of our immune systems prevent illness an overwhelmingly % of the time.

Beware of saying "my situation is special". I heard this from a friend yesterday and she was wrong about her situation. Even the example OP gave about buttons some people with buttons don't even like to see buttons on other folk how easy is that to live with?

I can't help but wonder if people with phobias don't believe at a very primitive (subconscious) level that their phobia is actually protective, that they need the phobia to be safe. That other people are unsafe by not having the phobia. Are these beliefs the very deep roots of a phobia?

Nobody enjoys having a stomach bug or witnessing someone else vomiting but I don’t think anyone wants to be terrified of catching it so much they allow it to govern their entire life.

I’ve probably had ten stomach bugs over the course of my life and had food poisoning as a child too which was much worse. It’s nasty, you feel like utter shit for a few days but then it goes and you forget it happened. It isn’t a reason to avoid a fulfilled life.

any phobia is an irrational fear - i guess vomiting is something no one enjoys much, but YABU to expect everyone to react irrationally about the same thing.

@whenwillthemadnessend

Some of these comments like the one below this one just show how people have little understanding of this phobia and probably all phobia.

If I'm not scared why should
You be.

If your afraid of spiders for example imagine living life with the possibility of a huge spider landing on your shoulder at any moment

This is life for an emet

It's like living life with a man following you around with a gun to your head. The fear can be that real

Hm but the question from the Op was also as illogical, “I’m phobic, why aren’t you?” and people are just answering that.

Yes, op asked why we weren't phobic? We answered. I've got phobias of lots of things. Not throwing up though.

It honestly doesn’t bother me.

Which is lucky seeing as I’ve had three HG pregnancies that all the anti sickness drugs wouldn’t touch.

I’m only ok with my own and my dc though. I couldn’t be around/see anyone else’s vomit.

I’ve seen sick at a theme park but never at super markets, restaurants, cinemas and theatres. I know phobias are irrational but why do you think there will be sick there? We’re you unlucky enough to once see sick there?

I don’t like sick, I’m scared of catching stomach bugs (but not phobic) but I’m more scared of feeling trapped in small spaces

I quite like being sick - it’s like extreme sneezing and you usually feel better afterwards!

@ThinWomansBrain

any phobia is an irrational fear - i guess vomiting is something no one enjoys much, but YABU to expect everyone to react irrationally about the same thing.

Hi ThinWomansBrain, sorry I think I phrased my original post wrongly.

What I meant was that as nearly everyone finds vomiting very unpleasant, why are more people not afraid of vomiting/sickness bugs. I do know that it's a phobia so my reactions are illogical/excessive but whenever there's a thread about Norovirus, people mention feeling like death or feeling the worst they've felt etc. so it just makes me wonder why they're then not scared of getting sick again!

@thegreenlight

I quite like being sick - it’s like extreme sneezing and you usually feel better afterwards!

Thanks thegreenlight, these kind of posts are actually really helpful for me! I do think it's the nausea that I'm scared of too though.

@DaisyDreaming

I’ve seen sick at a theme park but never at super markets, restaurants, cinemas and theatres. I know phobias are irrational but why do you think there will be sick there? We’re you unlucky enough to once see sick there?

I don’t like sick, I’m scared of catching stomach bugs (but not phobic) but I’m more scared of feeling trapped in small spaces

Yes unfortunately I've seen someone vomit in a cinema and seen vomit in a supermarket (they're busy public places so the chance of someone, especially a kid puking there isn't very low). Restaurants are more of a problem because of the risk of contracting food poisoning.

I think perhaps I'm more phobic of stomach bugs/food poisoning even than vomiting itself. I do realise it's irrational though.

@SartresSoul

Nobody enjoys having a stomach bug or witnessing someone else vomiting but I don’t think anyone wants to be terrified of catching it so much they allow it to govern their entire life.

I’ve probably had ten stomach bugs over the course of my life and had food poisoning as a child too which was much worse. It’s nasty, you feel like utter shit for a few days but then it goes and you forget it happened. It isn’t a reason to avoid a fulfilled life.

Yes you're right although I'm not sure about the wording of 'allowing it' to govern my life. It does govern my life but that's despite extensive (including inpatient hospital) treatment for both the Emetophobia and OCD.

Nonetheless I think this is the type of reply I was looking for really. I want to adopt a healthy perspective on vomiting and just wondered why when nearly everyone finds it very unpleasant, most people aren't scared of sickness.

What I meant was that as nearly everyone finds vomiting very unpleasant, why are more people not afraid of vomiting/sickness bugs. I do know that it's a phobia so my reactions are illogical/excessive but whenever there's a thread about Norovirus, people mention feeling like death or feeling the worst they've felt etc. so it just makes me wonder why they're then not scared of getting sick again!

There are loads of things I find unpleasant that I’m not scared of. Unpleasant things are part of life.

@lljkk

literally every food could be covered in food poisoning bacteria and literally every surface/object might have viral particles on it that could cause vomiting.

Our immune systems cope. In spite of the world being covered with germs, many of us carrying germs most of the time (not just sick bugs, every sort of germ) -- most of our immune systems prevent illness an overwhelmingly % of the time.

Beware of saying "my situation is special". I heard this from a friend yesterday and she was wrong about her situation. Even the example OP gave about buttons some people with buttons don't even like to see buttons on other folk how easy is that to live with?

I can't help but wonder if people with phobias don't believe at a very primitive (subconscious) level that their phobia is actually protective, that they need the phobia to be safe. That other people are unsafe by not having the phobia. Are these beliefs the very deep roots of a phobia?

No I do realise that other phobias can be restrictive but Emetophobia (and obviously it's not just my phobia, I think it's reasonably common) does affect a huge range of situations and is more complex to treat (that's not my opinion but that of Psychiatric research into OCD and Emetophobia). Like I've said I needed hospital treatment for it whereas graduated exposure therapy over the course of six sessions would almost definitely work first time for a button phobia.

@ReadyToMoveIt

What I meant was that as nearly everyone finds vomiting very unpleasant, why are more people not afraid of vomiting/sickness bugs. I do know that it's a phobia so my reactions are illogical/excessive but whenever there's a thread about Norovirus, people mention feeling like death or feeling the worst they've felt etc. so it just makes me wonder why they're then not scared of getting sick again!

There are loads of things I find unpleasant that I’m not scared of. Unpleasant things are part of life.

Yes that's true. It's probably more trauma related! I'm not scared of flu or headaches or any number of other unpleasant things.

There are a zillion very bad things in my life that could happen today or very soon -- not one of them is less likely to happen if I worry about them constantly.

@whenwillthemadnessend

Some of these comments like the one below this one just show how people have little understanding of this phobia and probably all phobia.

If I'm not scared why should
You be.

If your afraid of spiders for example imagine living life with the possibility of a huge spider landing on your shoulder at any moment

This is life for an emet

It's like living life with a man following you around with a gun to your head. The fear can be that real

Yes exactly- do you have Emetophobia too @whenwillthemadnessend?

@NewbieDivergent

My sister has this and its affected her whole life,she is also childless through this.

Poor her, I hope she's getting some treatment too!

@EleanorDeCleaner

I'm 50 and I've been severely emetophobic my whole life. I still take medication for it - I'd struggle to work and function normally without it. I've had multiple treatments, the most effective of which was CBT, but I'll never "get over it" and there are still many situations I'll avoid or which will influence my behaviour. I had a wobble today in fact.

The whole point of a phobia is that it's irrational. I believe that when you experience something, either when very young or very vulnerable, for some reason the brain associates that experience with a sensation of fear or horror or terror or pain which, over time, becomes totally out of proportion with reality.

I suspect most people experienced vomiting as a kid as "just one of those things", unpleasant but much briefer than, say, a terrible headache or week-long flu. So they never associated anything bad with it.

But say a 4 year old child wakes up vomiting out of control, with no prior warning, and gets a bollocking from her very intimidating stepfather for messing her bed and then her mother is revolted at having to clean it up and doesn't touch or comfort her, that child is likely to associate vomiting with the worst feeling of helplessness, horror and despair forever more.

That sounds like a horrible traumatic experience and I'm sorry you've struggled with this phobia throughout your life too @EleanorDeCleaner.

@whenwillthemadnessend

My dd has it abs is getting help now by cbt and exposure therapy

On the whole she can enjoy life but school is very hard for her. Her attendance flits between 85-90 percent and she won't get as high grades as she could have if she didn't have this phobia.

She will not get in a plane now so it affects us all as we can't get her to come on holiday with us. This breaks my heart

Going to school For her is like going to school with a gun to her head the whole day.

She is the bravest person I know as she manages to do this 90% of the time.

To all of you out there. There is help and there is medication that can help you live a good life.

We haven't used meds but I wouldn't rule it out

❤️💐

Oh sorry, just realised the other post was yours! I'm so glad for your daughter that she has such an empathic Mum to help her. I hope she continues to recover and can live a normal life.

@Eyeplayer

I get what you’re saying. I feel the same about flying. Like how can people be ok with being trapped in highly flammable box a million miles up in the sky

My daughter has a bad fear of vomiting and I do worry it will limit her in life

Yes, that makes sense. I think it's possible that to some extent phobias that have an element of real risk (e.g. obviously plane crashes do happen and obviously you can catch a sickness bug or other virus [including some very rare nasty ones with more serious consequences] from being close to someone when they vomit or contact with vomit) are harder to shift than those that are more straightforwardly illogical, rather than just excessive.

@onlyconnect

I have it. Like others say, it is not just "not liking vomit". It can be quite debilitating. It restricts me certainly. I have tried CBT which didn't help. The Thrive programme did help to a degree.

Yes, it really sucks. I have tried the 'Thrive' programme in the past and didn't find it that helpful but I might have another look at it. I hope you can recover from this nasty phobia.

What I meant was that as nearly everyone finds vomiting very unpleasant, why are more people not afraid of vomiting/sickness bugs

Because they're nothing to be afraid of.

They're unpleasant, but generally in the wealthier parts of the world, they don't mean you're about to die. They mean you're going to feel unwell for a bit and then you'll start to feel better again.

In places where there are more serious infections or the mortality rate is higher due to assorted circumstances, people aren't phobic because, frankly, they've got far more to worry about with Malaria, TB, childbirth, starvation, malnutrition, war, civil unrest, Ebola, rabies, drought, locusts, Measles, Polio, Tetanus, Cholera, Dysentery, HIV, standard bacterial infections with no access to free medical care and a shit ton of wild animals that are a lot more dangerous. It's just another thing that can happen. They don't have the luxury of being able to fixate upon one symptom and chances are that they have neither the money or the infrastructure to be able to do much about it in any case.

Emetophobia is very much a condition of privilege. It's because we are safer that it can become seen as a threat to the comfort of our lives - the people who are emetophobic here really wouldn't be worrying about feeling a bit sick if Ebola was running rampant across the Home Counties or there were militias staging raids just outside Bournemouth town centre.

You have my sympathy. I have it too. Badly. I have other mental health issues as well and in general have pretty poor mental health and can't work due to it.

No advice other than huge hugs from me to you 💕

@LimeSegment

I wouldn't say it's nice but I'm fine with vomiting. I find nausea a lot worse so if I ever start feeling sick I make myself vomit straight away if I can.

I understand you have a phobia OP but you aren't being very self aware here, or understanding of others.

Other people can be just as impacted by other phobias. You can't rationalise that yours is the worst and can't be avoided but others aren't that bad and can be avoided. The problem is just in your mind, going to the cinema for example, is realistically a 100% chance no vomit activity. And unlike for example, being at heights, vomiting isn't dangerous (the opposite, it can save your life if you injest poisen). The exact same way you see potential for vomit everywhere, others may see the potential for their phobia.

I think that people with Agoraphobia (which I have to an extent) are similarly affected by their condition as people with severe Emetophobia. I'm sure there are people with extreme phobias that literally mean they struggle to leave the house too but for example arachnophobia doesn't usually lead to people being housebound or being unable to engage in most normal activities.