Is DH BIU- to talk with DSIL about planned baby name

[fringely]

DSIL is 34 weeks pregnant with first DC.
A few weeks ago her and her DP announced the planned baby name.
The actual 'sound' of the name is fine, but it is heavily associated with something which DSIL and her DP were not really aware of. They have been made aware of the association since (as it's pretty common knowledge- not sure how they hadn't heard of it tbh!) but are of the opinion most people won't make the association. DH and I are of the other opinion that most people will definitely make the association, it's not a good association, and genuinely worry that it's not fair to give a baby that name and it's fully possible it could lead to bullying when older.

Whilst DP and strongly agree on the huge issue with the name and agree it's unfair to lumbar a baby with it, I don't think DH should say anything. DH thinks he should have a proper talk with her about his concerns on the name and why he doesn't think it's fair to give to a DN. I think nothing good will come and we should stay quiet.

(So far we have said very little about it. We were notably shocked when told what it was, and clarified 'X' as in X'?? But other than that have nodded and smiled).

If it's Lilith then I think that's an absolutely brilliant name.

My money is also on lolita, beautiful name but not acceptable. I think if it is this, or similar, dh should make it clear that it is the idea of sexualised childhood.

Donald
Andrew is iffy these days imo!!

i agree with you that no good will come of it but also your partner is a grownup and he gets to make his own decisions....I'd be saying its up to him, you have said your bit and now he must do what he thinks fit. (but I'd be practicing my best "I told you so" dance)

The op has already referred to the baby as ‘she’ so I think Adolf is out as is both Vlad and Lucifer

Where?

The OP has said:

I'm not talking about something like 'Myra' where the child's generation likely won't remember Myra Hindley. This association will be there his whole life.

The op has already referred to the baby as ‘she’ so I think Adolf is out as is both Vlad and Lucifer

No, she hasn’t. She said 'once she [ie SIL] is out and about introducing Baby X'

In fact OP has said this association will be there his whole life - which I took to mean it was a boy's name.

FWIW my immediate thought was Adolf too....

OP has anyone mentioned the name yet?

If not it's probably not as strong a connection as you think, and if they have hopefully you've seen that the name has positive praise despite the connection.

Blink twice if it’s Voldemort.

X-post!

@Treebranches

Blink twice if it’s Voldemort.

OMG I think you’ve got it. That would be hilarious and definitely a lasting association.

Is it Cain? Makes me think of Cainy Ball in Far From the Madding Crowd, whose parents got mixed up about who was the good one of Cain and Abel.

Damien??

Ebenezer Goode?

More seriously, I've seen a few threads like this and it usually is Madeleine and some people associate it with Madeleine McCann. Which I think is stretching somewhat (wrong term sorry but can't think of a better word), I would more likely think of Madeleine Albright myself.

I also think you should just leave them the fuck alone! It's been explained to them how you feel, don't push it. I really don't understand why people think they are entitled to criticise other peoples' decisions about their parenting - starting before the DC is even born!

🙋🏼‍♀️ Yes, sorry, my fault! I read the ‘once she’s out’ bit incorrectly. Clearly it’s a boy from what she’s said about ‘his entire life’. Apologies

An Indian friend of mine wanted to call her baby Aryan. She had no idea of the connotations with the Nazis and their Aryan race. As her baby was to grow up in the UK, she reconsidered and in the end went for Arran - similar, but different enough.

My oldest DS had a girl in his year at school called Swastika. She pronounced it swaaaaaasteeka rather than sw-oh-sticka but still. Yes, the swastika is an ancient religious symbol in Hinduism and Buddhism, but it has such different connotations in Europe. I'm reallt surprised the Registrar allowed it, tbh.

I'm going to go against the grain and say he should have ONE proper conversation. First, because if she is sensitive and gets weird reactions later, she may well feel "why didn't you want me?" Second, because naming isn't about just the parents, it's about the name his nephew will have to carry his whole life.

We gave our son the same name as someone who I thought was a bit famous. Actually much more famous in the U.K. than I thought (we are t British but live here) and although this person os famous only for good things, I wish someone had talked us out of it.

Sorry, I mean your DH should leave them the fuck alone! You seem to be right minded yourself

Damien? Although that is only associated with the 1970s films I suppose, it's not in the Bible. People would have forgotten by the time this child comes of age.

OP says associated with evil and hasn't said if it's a boy or a girl. If the name is Lilith I think that's brilliant, that name needs to be reclaimed!

Satan?

Roxanne?

If it’s really that bad (like Adolf) then I think your DH needs to have a gentle word again.
I’m also wondering if it wouldn’t be worth having a chat with BOTH SIL and her DH. He might have a different take than her iyswim.

If your SIL decides to keep that name, then I would never mention it again. They will have to find a way to deal with it/help their dcs but in your pov, I’d be supportive of the child and the child’s name always.

Saxon?

Electra?

I agree that it should be ONE conversation and then to leave it at that too.

@Ellmau

Satan?

That's my guess