Is DH BIU- to talk with DSIL about planned baby name

[fringely]

DSIL is 34 weeks pregnant with first DC.
A few weeks ago her and her DP announced the planned baby name.
The actual 'sound' of the name is fine, but it is heavily associated with something which DSIL and her DP were not really aware of. They have been made aware of the association since (as it's pretty common knowledge- not sure how they hadn't heard of it tbh!) but are of the opinion most people won't make the association. DH and I are of the other opinion that most people will definitely make the association, it's not a good association, and genuinely worry that it's not fair to give a baby that name and it's fully possible it could lead to bullying when older.

Whilst DP and strongly agree on the huge issue with the name and agree it's unfair to lumbar a baby with it, I don't think DH should say anything. DH thinks he should have a proper talk with her about his concerns on the name and why he doesn't think it's fair to give to a DN. I think nothing good will come and we should stay quiet.

(So far we have said very little about it. We were notably shocked when told what it was, and clarified 'X' as in X'?? But other than that have nodded and smiled).

Has anyone mentioned it on here yet?

Look, it's your DH who wants to give his unasked for opinion to his sister - repeatedly. You don't agree. Fine. It's his sister, just step back and let him get on with it if he wants to.

He's getting involved in a situation and risking an argument with them unnecessarily - but you also want to get involved with your DH over the situation which is also risking an argument with him unnecessarily.

Everyone just needs to shut the fuck up basically and let people make their own decisions and leave them in fucking peace.

Sorted

@GlitchStitch

Isis?

My BF called her DD Isis when it was more associated with a Greek goddess or the Thames as it passes through Oxford. Then the world changed and a lot of people who didn’t know its longer associations really questioned why she had that name. But actually it’s stopped now and the name doesn’t seem to raise any questions.

I guess it all depends whether the name is attached to one person/event alone, to such a degree and so widely that it will cause a lifetime of trouble (Adolf) or whether it’s a name that could be associated with lots of other things as well. I guess being called Myra might be OK in future generations but not if the attached surname is anything close to Hindley iyswim. It’s hard to say.

I don’t think you can say any more beyond what has already been said. When the baby arrives they may find that others bring up the same or even blurt out “you can’t call the poor child THAT” and they realise that the association is stronger than they understood and they think again. But it’s up to them.

Jimmy (?)

Please say it's not Boris!

It sounds like she's not going to listen and there's not much you can do except support the kid to change their name the second they hit 18.

Hopefully they'll give the child a middle name they can switch to calling them when reality hits.

'Beelzebub' springs to mind but I am pretty sure it isn't that. I understand why you won't post the name but maybe rally around a few discreet but close relatives or friends to voice similar misgivings.

Why people can't just choose inoffensive, classic names, I do not know. However some just like to be different. That's OK as long as not too different or outlandish!

I actually think your DH should have another longer and stronger conversation - given his future nephew or niece might like someone to advocate.

I think the “if you put this into Google this is the first thing that comes up” argument might be quite compelling. Remind them that being a kid is tough enough at times without having a name strongly associated with evil or whatever.

After that, his conscience is clear and it’s up to them. (Though hopefully the midwives at their birth will recoil in horror at the name and they will change their mind then).

Is there any chance she's winding him up or giving this awful name so that when they tell you the real name you'll be so relieved!

@heldinadream

There was a long and horrified thread about the name Enola Gay - is it that? We may have convinced the woman not to use it.

Yeah that was a humdinger! How to get a name that combines nuclear destruction and also sounds very like a deadly disease. Top work 👌🏼

It's Cain, isn't it? The first murderer! Yikes.

Cain?

Lolita?

If it’s truly that awful they may not be able to register the name.

Madeleine?
Saitan?
Rumplestiltskin?

Cain is a common name and I wouldnt have thought people think anything of it (bit chavvy perhaps)

In fact most 'bible' names I dont think people would know.

Hades?

@CharityShopChic

An Indian friend of mine wanted to call her baby Aryan. She had no idea of the connotations with the Nazis and their Aryan race. As her baby was to grow up in the UK, she reconsidered and in the end went for Arran - similar, but different enough.

My oldest DS had a girl in his year at school called Swastika. She pronounced it swaaaaaasteeka rather than sw-oh-sticka but still. Yes, the swastika is an ancient religious symbol in Hinduism and Buddhism, but it has such different connotations in Europe. I'm reallt surprised the Registrar allowed it, tbh.

In the UK, a registrar has no power to stop whatever a parent wants to name their child.

Never mind. Sorry, just seen baby a boy.

Please come back OP and at least tell us if the name has been mentioned in this thread!

@LBFseBrom what’s wrong with Jade?

Is it herod or lucifer?

I'm guessing it really isn't as bad as the OP is claiming it to be if neither one of them had heard of the apparently unspeakably terrible name sake.

The child will become their name and it probably won't raise any eyebrows when they are in a class with peers called Fox, Atlas, Pixie, Princess and Blue.

The name has been on the thread

Ok ok first page to come up on Google on this infamous name. Tell them don't do it