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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being called a fatty

186 replies

penguinparty00 · 24/03/2022 13:04

So just out for a run (well a jog plod) .. trying to shift the baby weight ( still after 15 months) and a group of lads in a car put the window down and shout fatty at me .. then proceed to laugh and other cars around with windows down could hear and i literally died on embarrassment and had to hold back tears! So decided not to let some little bunch of idiots ruin my run I carried on but why had it bothered me so much! Im so down about it it really hit a nerve - yes it's probably true in 5ft10 and weigh 13.7 stone so carrying so extra baggage but give the girl a break that's my 3rd run this week - im trying!! Why can't I seem to let this go I'm so upset?

OP posts:
TortugaRumCakeQueen · 25/03/2022 18:08

Imagine if women behaved this way. What on earth is wrong with some "men"?

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 25/03/2022 19:38

Not that it makes any difference to whether their remarks were ok (hell no they were not!) but 13st 7lbs at 5'10" is hardly enormous anyway! Size 14? Just goes to show as others have said, twats like that will say stuff to anyone to make themselves feel clever.

Ghostlyglow · 25/03/2022 19:42

It's just awful. DP calls anyone who is even slightly overweight "fatty" and I think it's horrible and he doesn't understand why.

HomecomingKween · 25/03/2022 20:03

@Ghostlyglow

It's just awful. DP calls anyone who is even slightly overweight "fatty" and I think it's horrible and he doesn't understand why.
of course he understands. but being a prick matters more to him.
DrManhattan · 25/03/2022 20:20

@ghostlyglow
I couldn't be bothered with someone so shallow

Franticbutterfly · 25/03/2022 20:33

Fuckers! I'm sorry this happened to you. Keep at it! Don't let the bastards grind you down!

Panticus · 26/03/2022 08:20

@Fairisleflora

Ooof. Nasty. I run most days, am skinny, am a member of a club etc. Each and every ‘proper’ runner takes their hat off to you. It’s so hard to put up with so much shit. Keep it up. You’ll get there!
Seriously, go read that back to yourself - it is beyond patronising. Who are you to decide who is and isn't a "proper" runner?

OP, just crank the music, put your finger up at them and carry on. The majority of us seem to cop it and it is no reflection on your size, athletic ability or anything else at all.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 26/03/2022 08:23

I go out running after dark lol.
People are so rude, one of my colleagues said to be recently...do you know how massive your bum is, you really need to lose weight, urgently.
I felt like I'd been punched in the face.

thevassal · 26/03/2022 08:28

What? That's why the poster put "proper" in quotation marks, to suggest that it's it's arbitrary designation between what people think of as serious runners - the stereotype of skinny, club member, obsessed with PBs etc and the reality which is anyone who is running (on purpose, not just to catch a bus) can be a runner. If there hadn't been the quotation marks your ire would be fair enough but the poster clearly put them in to show she DOESNT agree that only the traditional type of running counts. Stop looking for offence!

Opaljewel · 26/03/2022 09:05

@MrOllivander thank you for your reply.

Opaljewel · 26/03/2022 09:09

@Bonjovispjs

Some dick stopped me on the street once and said "why are you so fat?" I replied with "why are you so ugly?" He didn't have an answer for that!
Love it Grin
Iwantamarshmallowman · 26/03/2022 09:26

I've seen posts almost identical to this one a few times. I think this happens alot. I've had it while running and I'm a size 10/12 . It also happened once when I was walking very fast to work. Its never really fit skinny people either and they are always in cars. I don't think its anything to do with weight I think they just find anything to stab you with.
during lockdown I was running and this car really slowed down to an almost stop going round a corner the male driver was really leering but the very large female passenger shouted ha ha f**ing state of that. I just laughed and said well your boyfriend doesn't think so u should give it a try sometime. I think people see someone running and feel intimidated or inadequate and so they put you down to make themselves feel better.

Theyulelog · 26/03/2022 09:30

Oh a woman out bettering herself, feeling empowered because she’s taking control of her fitness/health, who has the confidence to run in public….

Sad little dick thinks great opportunity to bring her down, make her feel shit the rest of the day, embarrass her and puts someone fantastic down to make himself feel good in front of his mates.

Yeah…I know who I would rather be in this situation.
Trust me, anyone that overhears will be fuming on your behalf.
You have grown life inside of you, you are amazing! Your current shape and size don’t define your worth. I bet you look gorgeous. I’m pregnant and a lot heavier than you, I still looked good at your weight. You will look much better than you have decided in your head, trust me.
Keep on running, don’t let sad dickheads bring you down.
Unfortunately society is full of sad men who treat women like this.
I was sitting having coffee at a shopping centre and a woman with a minor disability walked past…a group of three lads kept turning around and staring and laughing. I was fucking fuming. The lady didn’t notice so I didn’t want to draw attention to it but honestly If she had noticed and reacted I would have gave them a piece of my mind.

Nobody thinks you should confine yourself to the house to work out. It’s not even about you or your weight, it was about his shitty low self worth seeing a grand opportunity to make himself feel powerful….and that is utterly pathetic x

spidersenses · 26/03/2022 10:44

@Mariposista

I am the first to judge someone who is overweight and doesn’t care but whenever I see someone who is overweight and exercising I am full of respect for them, as it shows their strength of character. You have seen that you need to change for your own health and that is admirable, ignore those immature twats. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in an exercise group with other beginners where you have an instructor and the security of a group. Running alone is daunting when you are not a confident runner. Keep it up OP! You’ve got this!
This is awful. What gives you the right to judge - how do you know why someone is overweight? What's your criteria for judging if someone cares or not?
Onlyforcake · 26/03/2022 10:49

They feel they can easily threaten you because they can get away fast, because they are cowardly nothings. Get a bodycam, tell them to smile for the camera.

hugr · 26/03/2022 10:54

I am the first to judge someone who is overweight and doesn’t care

How would you know? Do I have to jog on the spot when I'm public to let you know I don't care that I'm fat?

Zazdar · 26/03/2022 11:03

I've seen posts almost identical to this one a few times. I think this happens a lot.

They do it to other men too. A colleague of mine has had a lot worse than fatty yelled at him.

gingerhills · 26/03/2022 11:15

Their opinion of you couldn't matter less. It just is irrelevant. If you had a room full of 100 people and were asked to rank how much their opinion meant to you from family and close friends, colleagues and neighbours, how low would 'men who shout insults at strangers as they drive by' rank?

What matters is that you are taking action to get fitter and stronger, for yourself and for your child. Your actions are admirable. Theirs aren't. That's all you need to focus on.

Ponoka7 · 26/03/2022 11:18

I was going to mine, at about 7pm with my 4 year old GC last night. She's just got over a deep chest infection. She was hospitalised in December with Pneumonia and is underweight. She carried a unopened packet of quavers. They were for today. One overweight man, who'd come out of the pub told her that she should be eating lettuce not crisps. Another overweight man in the Lidl, who was buying alcohol, looked at my shopping which included fruit and commented to her that she should be eating that, not them (pointing at the crisps). It's all part of women's bodies being public property and entitled men who think that we are decorations, even at four years old.

Panticus · 26/03/2022 11:29

@gingerhills

Their opinion of you couldn't matter less. It just is irrelevant. If you had a room full of 100 people and were asked to rank how much their opinion meant to you from family and close friends, colleagues and neighbours, how low would 'men who shout insults at strangers as they drive by' rank?

What matters is that you are taking action to get fitter and stronger, for yourself and for your child. Your actions are admirable. Theirs aren't. That's all you need to focus on.

I like this. An excellent lens to put on it.
NellesVilla · 26/03/2022 12:14

@Ghostlyglow, if your DP is genuinely like this, why are you with the disgusting fatphobic dickwad? And would he refer to a female in his own family in that way?

TopCatTheMostEffectual · 26/03/2022 12:18

Take their registration number & report them to the police for harassment.,

loveisanopensore · 26/03/2022 12:20

Some men just don't want us taking up space in the world.
Walking and cycling is how I get around and I've had stuff shouted from cars and was once punched in the side from a car passenger.

MintyGreenDream · 26/03/2022 12:48

Not that you should have to but put earphones in even if you're not listening to anything,it's what I do and noone says anything coz they assume you cant hear them

Mistlewoeandwhine · 26/03/2022 12:53

This has happened to me too. I never went out running again.