Being called a fatty

[penguinparty00]

So just out for a run (well a jog plod) .. trying to shift the baby weight ( still after 15 months) and a group of lads in a car put the window down and shout fatty at me .. then proceed to laugh and other cars around with windows down could hear and i literally died on embarrassment and had to hold back tears! So decided not to let some little bunch of idiots ruin my run I carried on but why had it bothered me so much! Im so down about it it really hit a nerve - yes it's probably true in 5ft10 and weigh 13.7 stone so carrying so extra baggage but give the girl a break that's my 3rd run this week - im trying!! Why can't I seem to let this go I'm so upset?

@donquixotedelamancha

i literally died on embarrassment

My God! This is so creepy. Was there a bright light? Are you communicating with a medum who is typing on MN for you or can you still control computers?

[Misses point of thread]

There’s a place for humour. Way to be sensitive to someone struggling.

@Opaljewel

A question from people in this thread. Do you look at fat people in gym and think god look at the state of you. Or do you think at least you're trying?

I'm fat so.. I don't think anything. Worked on my thoughts a LONG time to make them very neutral So occasionally I might think "I don't like her hair" and then I catch myself and make myself replace it with a positive thought like "her shoes are gorgeous"

It started when I heard old colleagues watching coronation street and every sentence was a bitch fest about people's looks/weight/clothes and I decided I didn't want to be that person

So if someone is a I dunno, size 22 for example, I'll notice and think "size 22" but it's a neutral thought, nothing negative about it

How fucking dare they, the limp-dicked little twonks.

Easier said than done OP, but please ignore the pathetic little dickwads. They’re just trying to wind you up and make someone share the misery of their existence.

Good for you going for it and don’t let it put you off 💪

@incognitoforthisone

Those men are absolute shitbags, but please, please do not let them win.

I was way, way overweight when I took up running - I weighed more than you do, and I'm only 5'3". I was so, so painfully self-conscious about it, almost to the point of being phobic, but I forced myself to persevere and it was the best thing I ever did.

If some awful bloke shouts something at you while you're running, it honestly has nothing to do with your weight - I don't think I ever had anyone shout anything at me when I was actually fat, in fact, but I did have someone shout 'fat cow' at me when I was a size 12. Some men basically just can't handle the idea that women are fit and confident. You were out there running, and they were not, and that is essentially what their issue is. They're insecure and threatened, the sad little wankers.

Once I was just finishing up a run and had reached my distance and was walking the last 500 metres or so as a cool-down, and moments after I'd slowed down and looked at my watch, some absolute bellend walked past with his mate and said 'Oi, sweaty' at me (I sweat buckets when I run, which I hate). I was so high on endorphins that I turned around and said 'I've just run 5 miles. What have you done today, you lazy c**t?' And his mate told him he deserved it

Love your reply to the stupid guy in the street!!!!

I'm overweight and walking more to try and shift some, I've piled it on since an injury but I've always been bigger than some people would like apparently, because there's sometimes a smart arse with a comment, usually said very bravely out of a moving car full of men towards a woman on her own, you know, showing real bravery and conviction in what they think by not hanging around to see if there's any concequences.....

*I'd once had a bad day and had some lads shout their feelings towards my size out of the car window as they had to slow down behind a car turning, so I invited them to get out of the car and come over and say it to my face...... Driver did stop and so did I, and then did that really grown up thing where they wheelspin off, you know so you'll automatically think 'Wow, how cool you are!' 🙄 not even brave enough to say it to my face and give me chance to respond, despite being invited to. That's the type of people they are, shitty arsed bullies who balk at confrontation when it looks imminent.

• I'm not advocating this type of approach btw, it could be dangerous, they could have got out and I'd have found myself outnumbered and at risk, but it cemented in my head that most people who shout this kind of shit out of car windows are cowards.

My friend is also big and came out with a really good reply to a guy who gave us the benefit of his opinion on our size, something along the lines of "Fat bitches" - she replied quite calmly (along the lines of) "Well that's hardly original is it, if you're going to insult strangers in the street at least try to make it original, everyone can see I'm fat, hardly makes you observant pointing it out"

I've used that a few times now and it does tend to shut people up, even if they tell you to fuck off first - because their tiny mind can't think of a suitably witty response, I mean if you have to rely on insulting someone based on something blatantly obvious to get a laugh in your day, you're hardly Einstein are you?

@Mariposista

I am the first to judge someone who is overweight and doesn’t care but whenever I see someone who is overweight and exercising I am full of respect for them, as it shows their strength of character. You have seen that you need to change for your own health and that is admirable, ignore those immature twats. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in an exercise group with other beginners where you have an instructor and the security of a group. Running alone is daunting when you are not a confident runner. Keep it up OP! You’ve got this!

That's really not something to be proud of.

We do care, but say we don't because of the judgement we get. It's bravado in the face of years of snotty comments and the lack of respect some people are so proud of having.

For what it's worth, I run because I like it. I exercise because it makes me feel good. Not to lose weight or to make you respect me or grudgingly say 'well, you're not like the other fat bastards out there', but it's something I enjoy doing.

However, I only run offroad with DP, as all it takes is for me to be visible in exercise gear to have all manner of shit spouted at me from random cunts - in the few seconds it has been that I've waited for DP outside a shop or walked from the bus stop to home by myself, I'll get shouted at because I'm alone. As soon as DP is with me, nothing - and not because he's big and scary, because he's a man.

I hate that I'm dependent upon him to be able to go out and do something I enjoy without hassle. But what I hate most of all is the reason for that - people judging me. In their case it's because I'm female and in exercise gear, but your judgement, which unless you actually see me in running tights and good shoes and add me to the list of 'actually, she is allowed to be treated with respect because I have decided so', is not any different; to them and to you, I'm of lesser value until proven otherwise.

I shouldn't have to justify my existence or ask for your approval - because you have no business judging me in the first place.

Some dick stopped me on the street once and said "why are you so fat?" I replied with "why are you so ugly?" He didn't have an answer for that!

I have another good one. A man at the airport (I was off on my honeymoon) said to me “you should lose 20lbs it would make all the difference”.

Fuck me, imagine thinking you had the right to hand out advice like this. Blows my mind

Agree with everyone else, you'll get more quiet admiration from other women that you will get insults from twatty men. Big headphones, if its safe enough to wear them of course, because not only do we have worry about fending off insults, we also have to think about personal safety. Its a man's world sure enough.

as all it takes is for me to be visible in exercise gear to have all manner of shit spouted at me from random cunts - in the few seconds it has been that I've waited for DP outside a shop or walked from the bus stop to home by myself, I'll get shouted at because I'm alone. As soon as DP is with me, nothing - and not because he's big and scary, because he's a man.

Where do you live? That sounds awful and I'm really sorry.

If I was nearby and heard that I'd be thinking how horrible they are, nothing bad about you. They aren't people whose good opinion it's worth having. They're jerks, it's not you, it's them.

How dare you, @Mariposista? How do you know fat people don’t care about being fat?

Some of us have real issues with food and having no other addictions such as nicotine and alcohol- as many others do- may have an addiction to food. It’s people like you that put me off eating in public. I knew certain people would be judging me when I dare to feed myself.

I’m sure you’re a slim, elegant, Natalie Portman lookalike with your life sorted, aren’t you? Good for you.

@Mariposista

I am the first to judge someone who is overweight and doesn’t care but whenever I see someone who is overweight and exercising I am full of respect for them, as it shows their strength of character. You have seen that you need to change for your own health and that is admirable, ignore those immature twats. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable in an exercise group with other beginners where you have an instructor and the security of a group. Running alone is daunting when you are not a confident runner. Keep it up OP! You’ve got this!

And I'm the first to judge fatphobic cunts.

Fat people (like me!) don't need your judgement. Nor do they need your conditional respect, which is contingent on them demonstrating to you that they're... what? Repenting?

You have NO IDEA what has contributed to another person's weight, nor is it your business. Nobody owes you thinness.

Wow so the name calling goes both ways

@Momicrone

Wow so the name calling goes both ways

Being fat isn't a moral failing and doesn't deserve name calling.

Being a judgemental dick is and does.

100% agree with you @amusedbush How rude and patronising to say 'I judge overweight people, but if you're making an effort, I will like you a bit more, and allow you to breathe the same air as me.' Urgh!

@Mariposista

I am the first to judge someone who is overweight and doesn’t care

No, you're really not.

But you can fuck right off anyway.

Your body is not an object for them to comment on. You don't exist to please them or to gratify them with attention. You have achieved a tremendous amount in the past couple of years - pregnancy and all that entails, giving birth, caring for a newborn, looking after your little one and now you're getting fit as well. I understand why you're upset, but really the only thing you should be doing is giving yourself a pat on the back.

Spot on. Also the pp who said you don't owe them thinness.

It’s the standard insult, you’d get it at a size 10.

They need a one word retort and it starts with a c. The arseholes.

They did it because they saw you and felt guilty. I know when I see people out running what ever the pace I get pangs of guilt . They were sat on their bums in a car and you're able to run
Don't let them yobs get you down. They are not worth the headspace

So sorry this happened .

What these guys said to you has nothing to do with your weight. You could be any weight and they'd have probably still said 'fatty' as their main motivation was to impress each other and show off.

You should have said "oh look, a car full of virgins, amazing you want to draw attention to yourselves".

Wow thinness doesn't equal betterness, I run I'm size 22 I'm not trying to loose weight I'm working on my relationship with food by doing intuitive eating which actively discourages dieting as its so toxic, I don't run for thin people to feel better about me , I run because I enjoy feeling after and feel a sense of accomplishment, anyone who sees fatness as less than thinness are equally as bad as the person shouting horrible comments. They think the comments they just don't say them!

You've got to pity them. How horribly sad must their lives be that they get their kicks out of being mean to others. I bet you could put run them any day. Don't give it another thought.

I’m utterly enraged on your behalf, they are utter scum bag, cowardly dick heads. Please try not to give them another thought. Maybe find a running group. I’m in a mums running group and it’s brilliant. I did their couch to 5k club now in the 10k club. No one shouts a damn thing when there are 10 women running together. Keep going . The big headphones are a good shout as well x

They are a bunch of ignorant sods who were just asking for the universal road sign.

That is the single finger version of it.

😁