To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 3: Return of the Insomnia

[5YearsLeft]

Hey all - We’ve made it to the third thread. Whether you’ve posted before or you’re brand new, if you’re stuck awake, then you’re welcome here. We’ve had people facing it all on the last few threads: grief (loss of DPs, DHs, parents, children, and pets), illness of every sort (cancer, COVID, post COVID, sciatica, antidepressant withdrawals, stomach bugs of every sort, cold/flu, autoimmune problems, and even more diagnoses), ill children and partners (vomiting, crying, unable to sleep… and that’s just the adult family members! Ok I’m kidding, that was mostly the kids), women in labor, women with surgery fears, fears of all other sizes, anxiety, work anxiety, and of course insomnia caused by myriad things (LOTS of peri and postmenopausal insomnia).

Whatever is keeping you awake, you’re always welcome to share it here.

If you’re following in from our last thread, it’s:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4473171-To-ask-what-you-re-doing-awake-post-midnight-Part-2-Insomnia-Strikes-Back

😁 @5YearsLeft

That's kind of you. I'm certainly under the weather but feeling guilty about how long since we've been. Not seen her since last summer, she's mid 80s and up in Scotland - a 9 hour drive - so we go for a week generally. Would normally have gone at New Year but I was tired, not well, and DH felt the drive and the visit would be too exhausting for me to do straight after Christmas and then having to go straight back to work when we arrived home.

Promised to go for Feb half term, then I had the funeral of a family member in the middle of it. Now it's the Easter holidays we really must go. DHs whole family are up there and I really like them and miss them. It's purely the lack of sleep I always get which makes me dread it.

.I'm so sorry to hear how poorly you are and how hard life is at the moment. Lots of folks on here with real problems and I think I'm lucky really. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. I'm sure your hair looks fine but I feel your pain over it.😀. I have curls and have spent much of my 56 years trying to find a hairstyle that suits me and someone who can cut it properly!

Struggling to type on a Kindle, so I'll give up for the night! 🌙. Hope things improve for all of you on here. I'll check in again as I'm often awake. No doubt from Bonnie Scotland.😂. Take care and best wishes.

@Numbbumb sending sympathy to you. DH has been brilliant with me through 18 months of long Covid so I'm sorry to hear that you're not getting looked after properly. I'd be getting back in bed and telling your DH he can risk Covid or sleep on the living room floor himself, frankly.

It's shocking that that is the solution to you being ill.

Thanks Mad, it was my initial decision to stay on the air bed so everyone else can stay well and go to work etc. I didn’t anticipate how unwell I’d feel.

DH has always been the same whenever I’m Ill - stay away - his excuse is to let me rest and not disturb me but in reality he just doesn’t do illness.

Not once has he brought anything without me having to ask for it, not a cough sweet, a nice drink etc.

He’ll open the door ‘what do you want for tea’ etc.

Never once just text or asked ‘do you feel ok?’

Sad…

To everyone out there who is struggling...one of my go to mantras is We're all just walking each other home.

I like to think we're all just "getting through" in life. Walking along with different people and different friends. It's like having had a good night out down the pub, and wandering home together. Some of us will get dropped off first, but we're all just keeping each other company.

Good night folks.

Nice to know I'm not alone. 26 weeks pregnant and got Covid, I'm not too bad from that perspective but very blocked nose overnight but insomnia is slowly getting to me. Haven't had a full nights sleep in months.

Sending you a hug @Numbbumb is it worth maybe letting him know how you feel once you're better? Or does he already know?

@LittleWhingingWoman I’m sure that’s so difficult, and definitely sounds like the nights just be extra hard. We can only do the best we can do. That’s all there is. We try. Sometimes we fail, and it’s okay. Tomorrow IS another day… until it isn’t. So yes, of course I’ve ended up a big proponent of not wasting that time but I also never think time is “wasted” that is spent laughing, or being with someone you love, or doing something you enjoy, or comforting yourself when you need it. And tell your daft DH to stop sleepwalking! (Very much only joking; DH has PTSD and when he has the nightmares, I’ve definitely been able to just barely move my legs out of the way before I got an accidental kicking).

@Numbbumb You’re not alone, and you’re not wrong. An extraordinary amount of women are actually left by their husbands when they get a serious illness. And most importantly, you don’t deserve to be treated that way. You always deserve kindness and respect, and even more caring when you’re ill. I’m so glad at least your DD can be there. But the truth is that you deserve more from a DH, and I do very, very much hope that when a time comes, you get more. Also, I had to isolate with two other people in a one-bedroom apartment with one bathroom the first time I had COVID, so I just had to use a mask, and wash my hands constantly, and they didn’t get it. I don’t see any reason why you can’t walk around your house as long as your using a surgical or better grade mask, don’t bring your hands near your face after washing them until you’re back in your room, and stay two meters from your daughter (if you’re very concerned about her catching it).

@MadMadMadamMim I’m so sorry you feel you have to go. Great if you feel up to it, not great if you already feel ill. Sometimes I don’t think we always have to do things just because they’ve always been a certain way, especially when it’s damaging your health and happiness. I really wish you luck with this.

@feliznavidad2 You’re not alone! COVID and pregnancy are a terrible combination for sleep. I really do hope the COVID eases off and you find some rest!

@MadMadMadamMim

To everyone out there who is struggling...one of my go to mantras is We're all just walking each other home.

I like to think we're all just "getting through" in life. Walking along with different people and different friends. It's like having had a good night out down the pub, and wandering home together. Some of us will get dropped off first, but we're all just keeping each other company.

Good night folks.

This is so beautiful 😢

@MadMadMadamMim

To everyone out there who is struggling...one of my go to mantras is We're all just walking each other home.

I like to think we're all just "getting through" in life. Walking along with different people and different friends. It's like having had a good night out down the pub, and wandering home together. Some of us will get dropped off first, but we're all just keeping each other company.

Good night folks.

What a fantastic mantra. I'm happy to (virtually) help any of you home ❤

Sorry to hear of the difficulties so many of you are facing and the impact they are having on our sleep. I do like @MadMadMadamMin’s rather lovely analogy, it’s somehow both practical and comforting.

I stopped getting alerts for the previous thread and because I was looking after the ‘marital dog’ for three weeks, I tried avoiding night-time social media rabbit holes - needed to get up early to let dog out etc!

I was starting to get into a bit of a better sleep rhythm but the sciatica has shifted it’s grip again meaning I’m in discomfort at the very least, all the time. The good news is that I had an MRI scan last Sunday, so I’m hoping that will show the musculoskeletal team what’s going on - and how to address it. I hope they hurry up and get me that next appointment!

@Coroico97 I’m so glad your op has sorted your pains out. Gives me hope!

Hello and welcome to the “my DH ran the dishwasher like a 5-year-old and now we have soap hanging out the bottom of it” edition of the after-midnight thread! (He was trying to “clean it” so he put the dishwasher salt in, a dishwasher tab, and then some kind of soap as well? I didn’t catch it exactly but I sure hope he didn’t mean the dishwashing liquid you use in the sink; sigh. Anyway, we have little soap stalactites hanging from the bottom now).

SO. Now that hilarious story is out of the way. It’s yet another Sunday Scary edition. These are usually pretty slow, either because everyone is sleeping, or everyone has so much anxiety about Monday that they’re not on MN. If you’re awake with that anxiety, or pain, illness, fear, worry, overthinking, ill children, snoring DHs, pregnancy/periods/peri menopause/menopause, any of the types of insomnia, or something else you just can’t quite name… this is the thread for you, and you’re always welcome here.

Feel free to share or rant or cry or yell in the abyss. You never have to apologize.

Definitely a slow Sunday. Ok, hope everyone is sleeping well!!!

I'm here @5YearsLeft. Start of the new chemo cycle tomorrow so I'm thinking about that. And still mourning the loss of my hair.

Hello @5YearsLeft, I’m up with DD again. She’s still a bit poorly, but mostly on the mend; just reached the Snot Snot Snot stage. Much like your dishwasher?

I’m coming to the tail end of Covid. I’ve been asymptomatic and wouldn’t have known I had it, had I not tested. However for the last week I’ve been lying wide awake until 1, 2, 3am. I can only presume it’s so weird Covid side effecf?

@Confusedmeanderings Oh gosh, I definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep with new chemo starting tomorrow. It’s sort of like trying to go to Disney World or something yet knowing you have to have your tooth pulled the next day. And I don’t blame you for still being upset about your hair. You’re allowed. I just got all mine chopped off yesterday (did I share this?) and couldn’t find an open salon, so DH bribed a barber to do it. Surprise surprise - turns out my hair is now curly. Probably one of my meds changed it. I know once your hair grows nbakc post chemo, you may find it had some different attributes too, so that will be a surprise to wait for. But I’m sorry you’re going through this RIGHT now. I hope you can get a little bit of rest.

@MoreThanRubies Your poor daughter, to be in the same boat as our dishwasher, ha. I know it’s not funny for her, so I do hope she can get through this stage quickly, hopefully “dry out,” and then both of you will be able to sleep soundly in just a few more days.

@Tallisimo Oh, I also just saw your message! Congrats on finally getting that MRI sorted. I really do hope that it shows what’s happening and maybe gives them a clearer way to treating you so you don’t have to keep going through this. You’re very brave, but I know how just that feeling of constant pain mixed with never getting good, quality pain-free sleep can really break you down a bit.

@OhMyDays22 And yes! COVID insomnia is very real, and affects quite a lot of people during and after COVID. Even if you’ve been asymptomatic, it’s good to know you had it, because some of these symptoms seem to happen after and aren’t at all what you think of associating with COVID (like insomnia). I do hope you manage to get a bit of rest!

Hope you all managed a bit of sleep last night! I was awake around 4.00am and thought about logging on, but knew that if I did so then I'd definitely be awake for the rest of the night and so resisted!

I did drop off again, and actually slept through til 8am ish which is great. And rare!

@Confusedmeanderings I hope everything goes well for you today. I'll have my fingers crossed that it's not too grim and that ultimately it's worth everything you are going through.
@MoreThanRubies Snot, Snot, Snot is a horrid stage! Hopefully your DD will shake it off v. shortly and be back to normal soon.
@Tallisimo as a fellow sciatica sufferer I hope you get some positive news shortly! It's a hideous thing to put up with. Mine comes and goes - but this time has been 'niggling' since last September. It's not agony - but the low level constant nature of it is beginning to grind me down.
@5YearsLeft I hope you have a better day - and a better night tonight! Life sounds tough enough without the dishwasher troubles!

Welcome to the Monday night edition of the after-midnight thread, though I suppose we’re now starting into Tuesday. As always, this thread is a place that welcomes everyone - if you’re awake, then this is the spot for you.

In the thread, you’re invited to share and let out whatever’s de-railing you from sleep - pain, illness, sick family members of any age, anxiety, stress about work, all the other sorts of stress, other issues, and all the types of insomnia.

We happen to have a lot of women on the thread right now suffering from COVID insomnia, the agony of sciatica, children feeling poorly, or ladies facing cancer. But we also have ladies dealing with every problem under the sun; whatever your issues, you won’t be alone with them.

So please, feel free to say whatever you need to say to battle the insomnia and make rest a little easier.

Hey 5Years, hope you are as well as can be

I've got MS and the pins and needles are keeping me awake tonight, feels like I'm being electrocuted... I'm so very tired and I have to be at work by 7am.

Did you leave insta? Havent had you pop up for a while.

Seething at dh, I would throttle him if he was not thousands of miles away.

Loaded with cold, a DD who is nervous for school and keeps sleep talking, and I'm freezing and can't afford to put the heating on low through the night anymore. I've been in bed since 8.30pm as I felt exhausted and I'm still not asleep. Feeling angry and fed up now!

I typed a whole reply and it ate it. Dammit.

@OhSoStranger That’s awful. I can’t imagine how you can’t possibly get cosy or rest with those sensiations. I have one medical test that I have to repeat once a year or so that involves electric shocking my nerves and it’s awful. I can’t imagine having that all night when you just want to be cosy and rest. I’m so sorry! And yep, I’m still on Instagram. I had a quite quiet few weeks when I was really sick, but I just posted about my hair monster yesterday snd then a video of the snow here the day before.

@Chely It’s good to have goals!

@monicagellerbing Being full of cold is bad enough but it sounds like you have lots of extra way, way rough bits. And it’s so wrong that anyone can’t afford to turn the heater on when they’re cold. I do hope that eventually you can have the heat and get some rest!

@5YearsLeft
It certainly doesn't help me sleep thats for sure!

..and yes, still awake.

I'll have a look out for your posts, not a big insta user myself so not usually on it most days.

Sorry you have seen so ill.

We have a nanny that I thought was all set to start in two weeks, messaged her today no reply. Just had a look and she's back on the agency website for a higher hourly rate. So upset as I'm back to work, my mum will be out of the country and we have no other options. Not sure it's feasible to juggle a crawling baby and full time work.