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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 3: Return of the Insomnia

410 replies

5YearsLeft · 23/03/2022 22:08

Hey all - We’ve made it to the third thread. Whether you’ve posted before or you’re brand new, if you’re stuck awake, then you’re welcome here. We’ve had people facing it all on the last few threads: grief (loss of DPs, DHs, parents, children, and pets), illness of every sort (cancer, COVID, post COVID, sciatica, antidepressant withdrawals, stomach bugs of every sort, cold/flu, autoimmune problems, and even more diagnoses), ill children and partners (vomiting, crying, unable to sleep… and that’s just the adult family members! Ok I’m kidding, that was mostly the kids), women in labor, women with surgery fears, fears of all other sizes, anxiety, work anxiety, and of course insomnia caused by myriad things (LOTS of peri and postmenopausal insomnia).

Whatever is keeping you awake, you’re always welcome to share it here.

If you’re following in from our last thread, it’s:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4473171-To-ask-what-you-re-doing-awake-post-midnight-Part-2-Insomnia-Strikes-Back

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
SmellyNelliey · 05/04/2022 02:20

I'm up with 3poorly dc all 5 years old and under 🤦🏻‍♀️ wondering how I'm going to get up at 6am to get only well dc up for school and how my epilepsy will repay me later for the lack of sleep, also got somebody coming later to design a new bathroom 😣😴😴😴

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 05/04/2022 02:30

@OhSoStranger Here’s the snow one (hope this link works): www.instagram.com/reel/Cb01sHPqMZ5/?

@Jellybean81 Oh gosh, that’s kind of shameful of her. I mean, I understand prices are higher everywhere and that everyone needs to get the most money they can, but she could have said something to you instead of just leaving you in the lurch like that. You should really inform the agency website at least of what happened. What a stress! I do hope you find something that works.

@SmellyNelliey … you must be a bloody superhero. I can’t even imagine. Most people couldn’t even handle three under 5 ill to begin with, but then on top of it you have to handle preparing the one well child for school AND you have epilepsy (which I’m so sorry but you’re right, will definitely wallop you for lack of sleep) and someone’s coming to see about the loo. What in the world. I guess just, erm, keep calm and carry on? I mean, what are the other options, ha. Panic and don’t carry on?

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SistersRdoingit4themselves · 05/04/2022 02:52

Morning everyone 🌠
im wide awake (again) still replaying everything back in my mind. Its funny isnt it? You wish you could turn the clock back, un-say things you wish you hadnt said. Do things you didnt do. Yet here I am awake night after night about the same time every night, thinking about it all. Like Groundhog day. Hurt people, hurt people I guess. But if I could I would tell them Im sorry. That I love them, I miss them. I was wrong. Trying to piece a life back together from the shards of brokeness is one of the hardest things to do. During the day I can pretend everything is fine, but when its night time and the lights are out, the sadness always comes.

OhSoStranger · 05/04/2022 03:12

@SistersRdoingit4themselves that sounds so sad Flowers

WhyOfCourse · 05/04/2022 03:44

I feel like I'm never going to get a full night's sleep again

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 05/04/2022 03:57

@SistersRdoingit4themselves That’s the problem with nighttime; the darkness leaves a lot of space to fill and it’s easy to fill it with thoughts and often ruminating thoughts of the things you can’t change and the past you can’t undo. I’m sure it’s incredibly tough. Is there anything at all that can distract you? I’m an avid reader and music listener, and there’s a thread on MN right now about great spooky British podcasts, if that’s more your style. But you deserve a rest now, regardless of the past.

@WhyOfCourseb That’s heartbreaking, but just know that you’re not the only person on the thread feeling that way - isolated and sad - and you’re not alone.

OP posts:
WhyOfCourse · 05/04/2022 04:09

I can't function in the day. My brain is just fog. I can't keep drinking so much coffee.

sanityisamyth · 05/04/2022 04:17

I can't remember the last time I slept through the night. I get a maximum of 5 hours sleep in two broken chunks. I'm always awake between 2 and 5am without fail. I'm permanently exhausted and my brain just won't switch off. It's killing me.

WhyOfCourse · 05/04/2022 04:22

Same. Absolutely no idea why.

emotionalpuddle · 05/04/2022 04:26

I'm awake because I've tonight discovered my DP is having at the very least an emotional affair with someone he's known for 3 weeks... and he's willing to end our engagement and 9 year relationship over her. I'm in bits and sleep is alluding me.

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 05/04/2022 05:04

@WhyOfCourse and @sanityisamyth Please don’t just assume it has to be that way. Sleep is terribly important. It’s the way your “brain dumps” so you can learn new information each day. That’s why you feel a fog, Ofcourse. And yes, no one can survive on what is technically not even five hours of sleep, if you’re awakening in the middle. It’s just like periods; you need to go speak to a doctor, you need to tell them how serious it is, and you need to not let them blow it off. You may just need to take some prescription melatonin (or a lot) or you may need to change your entire diet or something. I had no idea. It’s worth trying ANYTHING though after that long without sleep. You both deserve to be able to sleep and you deserve answers about why you can’t and solutions about how to fix it.

@emotionalpuddle Oh. No. What an absolute cad. I mean, I’m not saying I hope his penis shrivels up and falls off, but I’m not saying I’d cry… Joking aside, that’s just so incredibly callous. He is in a lustful honeymoon phase with her. He knows nothing about her; not even know she brushes her teeth by now probably. And he’s giving up something real for something that will pop like a balloon and in fact, may pop faster than a balloon. Lots of “perfect honeymoon phases” don’t survive their first fight so his soulmate may be out the window a month after he’s torn apart your (and his own!!!!) life. I don’t blame you for being in bits, but there’s nothing you could have done. You can’t rationalize with someone who’s acting irrationally, and he’s acting extreeeemely irrationally. I know right now it probably hurts so much you think you’ll never feel better, but one day, maybe soon, you’re going to look back on this and go, “We’ll… thank God I only wasted nine years instead of ten.” Who knows what fresh horrors that extra year could have brought you. Since any man who behaves like this probably wasn’t the nicest man in the world behind closed doors for k

OP posts:
the80sweregreat · 05/04/2022 05:11

@sanityisamyth

I can't remember the last time I slept through the night. I get a maximum of 5 hours sleep in two broken chunks. I'm always awake between 2 and 5am without fail. I'm permanently exhausted and my brain just won't switch off. It's killing me.
Same here too ( I am late 50 s) It's ruining my life but I don't know what to do and I really don't want sleeping tablets or HRT I'm a mess to be honest ,
OhSoStranger · 05/04/2022 05:23

I've given up on sleeping tonight. Not one bloody wink! Going to make the first of many coffees !!

@emotionalpuddle - I've read your thread. He's an arsehole.

monicagellerbing · 05/04/2022 05:57

Im still awake, DH bringing me a cuppa in bed. Not had any sleep whatsoever. My stomach started hurting at about 1.30am and it sent me into a panic as DD has just gotten over norovirus so I thought I was going to start. Still doesn't feel great now but I need to get out of this bed soon I've been here for 10 hours now

emotionalpuddle · 05/04/2022 06:46

@OhSoStranger

I've given up on sleeping tonight. Not one bloody wink! Going to make the first of many coffees !!

@emotionalpuddle - I've read your thread. He's an arsehole.

Thank you. He really is. I've made a list of things I need to get in order. So far they seem like petty things but I have no idea how we go about separating the house etc. He seems to think he's staying here and buying me out but we shall see... the other woman has disappeared from his Facebook friends list so she's either unfriended him or blocked me.
OhSoStranger · 05/04/2022 07:02

Honestly, it feels so shit right now but you will get through this. I did, after twelve years and children Flowers

Now at work... so sleep at all !

Wallywobbles · 05/04/2022 20:01

Just to say I hope you are all ok. I've not
forgotten you I just have help with sheep at the moment and a stupid amount of work. Everyone seems to have recovered from Covid here.

Wallywobbles · 05/04/2022 20:02

And tiny bit of news. Both my DDs boyfriends are coming for the first stay over this weekend. Hope DH can be nice. He's not keen on the plan!

Original poster
5YearsLeft · 05/04/2022 22:22

Welcome to the extremely early edition of the after/midnight thread. I didn’t get a single minute of sleep last night, which are usually make up by sleeping all day, however, today I didn’t manage to sleep at all. So at this point, I am almost falling asleep sitting up. There’s no way I’ll make it to midnight. But I want to make sure that people feel welcomed to the thread. So if you’re experiencing anything that keeps you from being able to feel relaxed, sleepy, cozy, and at peace, then this is the thread for you. The night time is when things seem like they get bigger and our anxieties, worries, pain, illness, and all the other things seem to grow in our minds.

This is a place where you can do whatever you need and to let some of that stress though. If that’s just writing it down, OK; if that’s rambling on about it for a bit, that’s OK too, and you never need to apologize for having a rant, or being angry about what you’re going through. There’s guaranteed to be someone on the thread who knows what it’s like.

The point of the after-midnight thread is that you know you’re not alone. I might fall asleep and not be able to answer every comment this evening, but I always end up reading them all. So please know that someone is definitely reading, thinking about you, and hoping for the best for you.

OP posts:
MoreThanRubies · 06/04/2022 01:03

Hi all. I’m up with DD again. She’s pretty much recovered from her cold but after two weeks of disrupted sleep I’m scared this is a new normal. We’ve broken the baby and she will never sleep through the night again. I do not want to go back to being yelled at in the night. I want to stop breastfeeding this year. I need to get more sleep so I can do everything I have to do tomorrow because if I can’t do it, the wheels start to fall off our lives. I feel like I’m getting more and more behind. There is no help available.

SistersRdoingit4themselves · 06/04/2022 02:32

Morning everyone is everyone asleep?

SistersRdoingit4themselves · 06/04/2022 02:41

@ More thanRubies How old is your Dd if you don't mind me asking? It's terrible when Lo's have a rotten cold no one gets any sleep, so I do feel for you. I hope Baby fell back to sleep and fingers crossed so did you.

emotionalpuddle · 06/04/2022 06:10

Managed to get a few hours today (first time all week). Felt restless so got up and went for a walk, first time I've walked the streets of my town around 5am. Felt pretty scary actually but I do feel better for getting out of the house.

MoreThanRubies · 06/04/2022 07:28

@SistersRdoingit4themselves she’s 14M. Managed to get her back to sleep eventually but feeling horribly like those newborn days again!

SistersRdoingit4themselves · 06/04/2022 08:32

@MoreThanRubies I feel for you I remember those days, sleep deprivation is horrible, I hope you, Dd and baby get a good night's rest tonight. 💐.
@emotionlpuddle. I hope you are okay, I will be thinking of you today. You may not know it or feel it, but every day you get a little bit stronger. Sending you the biggest warmest hug 💐