To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 3: Return of the Insomnia

[5YearsLeft]

Hey all - We’ve made it to the third thread. Whether you’ve posted before or you’re brand new, if you’re stuck awake, then you’re welcome here. We’ve had people facing it all on the last few threads: grief (loss of DPs, DHs, parents, children, and pets), illness of every sort (cancer, COVID, post COVID, sciatica, antidepressant withdrawals, stomach bugs of every sort, cold/flu, autoimmune problems, and even more diagnoses), ill children and partners (vomiting, crying, unable to sleep… and that’s just the adult family members! Ok I’m kidding, that was mostly the kids), women in labor, women with surgery fears, fears of all other sizes, anxiety, work anxiety, and of course insomnia caused by myriad things (LOTS of peri and postmenopausal insomnia).

Whatever is keeping you awake, you’re always welcome to share it here.

If you’re following in from our last thread, it’s:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4473171-To-ask-what-you-re-doing-awake-post-midnight-Part-2-Insomnia-Strikes-Back

For full disclosure, if you're thinking of trying the softies and mastectomy bra, I think I'd better point out that any new partners might have a bit of a shock when you disrobe. Also, mastectomy bras are distinctly grandma-ish and not at all sexy! 🤣🤣🤣

Hi new here.

I'm awake yet again as my knees are very swollen, the pains woke me up. I'm due to go on holiday Saturday morning & I can't imagine walking through airport like this let alone around resort!

I've got water tablets, ibuprofen & deep heat! Any tips to get the swelling down?!

[quote 5YearsLeft]@lytothemoonandback Oh! That sounds absolutely terrible. I’ve had those pain nightmares where your mind is trying to make sense of what your body is still feeling; I’m so sorry. I so hope they can do something for you. I’ll have my fingers crossed. You shouldn’t have to deal with agony like that.[/quote]
❤️ thank you . Got told at 2 someone would call back but not hopeful now, OOH come off shift at 6 I think . A relative has a pack of unused dihydrocodeine they said they’d chuck in the house which isn’t the best move but it’ll help me function/move a bit in the morning . Just wish I could fall asleep, I was flat out until started having nightmares . Hell .

Sorry for everyone suffering tonight. It’s miserable I know.
I’ve recently had a couple of nights’ (chemically induced) sleep but today the tablets only gave me 4 hours, so here I am again. No sign of my AD withdrawal anxiety and depression abating any time soon, and then there’s the insomnia.
For someone who never suffered this before - it’s absolutely devastating not to be able to fell in and stay in a lovely cosy natural 8 hrs sleep 😢 I miss it and wonder if I’ll ever get that ability back.

5years thanks for the message, I’m ok normally when it just the pump but add it the overnight meds and that’s not good! Not helped by the fact he has cobid having sent my anxiety through the roof! Well I managed an hour before he woke me coughing needing inhaler.

Hope everyone managed some rest

@KatherineofGaunt Oh gosh, it’s dreadful, I know. If we had a switch to turn our brains off so we could sleep, to instantly stow the worries about money (and everything else), everyone here on the thread would all be bazillionaires (since I think we could all probably share that much money). I’m so sorry you’re going through it tonight, and I hope you got a bit of rest.

@Dobbysgotthesocks Just what everyone needs - a cancer scare AND eviction! I’m so, so sorry. That’s just shite; there’s no two ways about it. It should be illegal to evict people when they’re already going through a horrible time personally (I know that doesn’t make exact sense and lots of landlords have personal needs but it’s such a nice idea; it’s just so horrible how many sick or grieving or already money-worried people get evicted). I will double cross my fingers (they’re crossed from earlier and this is a bit difficult as they’re swollen, har har) that you find some place AND that the cancer scare comes back all clear.

@Confusedmeanderings Oh, chemo is just awful. You don’t need me to say all the platitudes - I hope you know that just getting through it every day is brave and good and plenty enough, and you don’t need to “do” or “be” anything else when it’s getting to you and you feel like this. You’re wonderful for making a very funny story of the mastectomy bra and fillers though, ha, it’ll be all the rage thanks to you! And then as you say, a few shocked partners will get to the undressing stage and have two bits just fall to the floor.

@Girlmumdogmumboymum It’s impossible to sleep in hospital! And if you already suffer from insomnia, then I’m sure you already know it backwards and forwards anyway. I do hope you at least got a bit of rest and maybe some moments without pain.

@lytothemoonandback I really hear you now. I finally fell asleep and then had the worst nightmares I’ve had in months, just awful pain-related ones. I’m so sorry they woke you up and they’re not allowing you sleep now. It’s complete crap. I do hope maybe the painkillers will help and you can perhaps doze off a bit.

@MrsGlum Ah, sorry even the chemicals aren’t helping right now! Sometimes we just can’t win no matter what we do. I know it can feel so dreadful and I know you’ve been at it for so long. I hope tomorrow night is better.

@Sirzy Oh no! I really hoped you’d be able to get some sleep but COVID is so difficult to manage sometimes, even in people who were perfectly healthy to start with, and I’m sure if he had any choice over it, he would have let you sleep. The coughing can be terrifying. I hope he’s through it soon and you both get some much needed sleep.

@lovemenomore Posting for you separately. If they’re very swollen: Lie flat and elevate them quite high. And I mean they need to be much higher than you laying down, ideally support your legs at a 45 degree angle. This will keep them from swelling more and release the swelling if there’s water, but if they’re swollen from being “injured” (ie they’re hurt, even if you didn’t do something specific to hurt them), I can’t promise it will go away completely or that they won’t hurt even if it does. Swelling is a method of parts of our body protecting themselves.

Hey everybody and welcome again to the after-midnight thread. If you’re up and suffering with anything that keeps you awake, whatever it is (grief, illness, pain, worry, dealing with sick adults or children in your house, anxiety, insomnia, or anything else I can’t think of at the moment), please know you’re not alone and you're welcome to spend some time and share whatever keeps you awake. Everyone is always welcome.

@KatherineofGaunt

I'm here. My toddler woke me up and now I'm worrying about money so I can't sleep. Same story last night. Wish I could switch my brain off.

Same here. Twins, no sleep for the last 8 months, worried about money.

@Howmanydaysuntilfriday I’m sorry! It’s a crap situation to be in; constantly sleep-deprived and then worried about money on top of it. I won’t even try to pretend that it’s fair because it’s not - wages don’t match the things we need to pay for, everyone except the very comfortable are worried about the energy hikes, and it’s all a bit shite, I know. We joke about getting a magic money tree for the thread, but I know each day, it seems like we really do need one more than ever (and maybe a night nanny tree for you, so you could just have a few nights of sleep, even though I’m sure you love your babies a ton). I do hope maybe at least you get a bit of rest, fingers crossed.

Where do I start! Got into a huge blazing row with OH today as I felt like he wasn't helping me enough (39 weeks pregnant) so he's gone to stay at his brothers. then I found out I have protein in my urine and my blood pressure is high so now I'm waiting for my results to come back to see if it is preeclampsia.
Kids have been off school since last Tuesday as we have all had covid and DS is still testing positive. Then the thought of having another c section when I wanted to go for a vbac is playing on my mind.

Ahhh it's all too much and I have very little support.

35+2 weeks pregnant and it feels like her head is pressing on a nerve of some kind in my public area making moving/getting up/sleeping/been comfortable virtually impossible. I'm been induced at 37 weeks due to pre eclampsia but I don't know if I can cope till then!

A toddler with an awful sick bug and temperature started this evening so been awake all night. Now 4 month old baby awake and refusing milk and unsettled so fear it's moving onto her. I had it yesterday when also had to attend hospital with suspected croup for the baby. It's all going on here.
Just had cross words with partner to tell him he's going to have to take half days leave tmrw to look after kids unless I get at least a few hours sleep, exhausted.
Hope others manage to get some sleep tonight x

Coughing!
I have covid and it's an occasional cough in the day but as soon as I lie down, all hell breaks lose.

Pregnancy insomnia. 35+5 with twins. I'm either awake half the night, or sleep in two hour bursts and awake fully from about 4.30am.
DD has swimming in the morning and then I'm hoping to take her to a local oceanarium for a treat before DTs arrive.
@Dreamworks Lightening crotch is the worst!

@namechangedforthiz What an absolutely horrible time of it! I’m so sorry, just about everything. And your OH is a prized arse for taking himself off in response to a row when you’re that pregnant; that’s just not how you respond to a row at 39 weeks. But I’m sure you know this if he already wasn’t helping you enough. And I’m sure you must be feeling so nervous and stressed about the test results for pre-eclampsia. I do hope they’re okay and you can try for your VBAC. I know it must all seem so unfair right now and you must be fed up to the gills (not even mentioning all the COVID stuff and DS!). Try to just be kind to yourself (if possible), do whatever you need to relax, and I do hope at least you get a wee bit of rest.

@Dreamworks Oh gosh, it sounds so uncomfortable! I do hope she decides to maybe move over an inch or so or get settled differently so maybe you won’t be stuck with this sensation??? I hope that’s a hope. Nerves are such finicky things that hopefully if she just moves her head a bit, it won’t be quite so awful. I really do hope it resolves a wee bit and you can get a little bit of rest!

@Jeds55 That seems to be the way of it; some terrible sickness bugs going around for the toddlers (if you see some posters from the last few nights, quite a few toddlers sick) and then the combination of sick children and the worry and sleep deprivation can naturally lead to cross words with your partner when he doesn’t just help you. I really do hope you can get some rest (if not tonight, then tomorrow) and that maybe the baby is just having an off night and it’s not spread to them. Very, very best of luck.

@ofwarren COVID definitely attacks at night. Either the cough is worse or it’s just COVID insomnia. I hope maybe you can reach a break in it (the coughing) and it will be enough to let you rest or maybe even fall asleep. I’ll keep my fingers crossed!

@Theregoesmyhomebirth Oh that must definitely be difficult to get comfortable or stay comfortable! You sound an amazing mum, and I would have loved going to the oceanarium (I actually still love it at my age) so I’m sure it will be a great memory she has with you before the DTs arrive. I do hope you can find some rest tonight as sleep deprivation is so painful, and only a few more weeks to go.

Thanks, managed to get some more (thanks to Radio 4). Now been woken by DD who is 'reading' to me in the darkness whilst I try to wake up my body for the day.

Hey all - as usual, it’s the after-midnight thread here, asking: what are you doing awake? Whatever it is, you’re always welcome here to share and set it down for a while. As a group, ladies have come here sharing all sorts, so whatever it is, you’re not alone in dealing with grief, illness, pain, worries of all sorts, lots of COVID, sick children, a row with a partner/DJ, or just insomnia of every sort.

If you need to vent, whinge, rage, cry, or just talk about the unfairness of it all - being stuck awake when the world seems to be full of people who fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows, ha - this is your thread.

Hi again everyone…I’m awake as I’m one week post my last chemo, which made me really poorly. As I’ve been so ill, I’ve been sleeping during the day, and was asleep from 2-6 today. So that, combined with the caffeine in the 2 Pepsi Max I’ve had this evening means I don’t think I’ll see sleep for a while…!

Hope everyone is ok x

Hi everyone. I hope all those with pregnancy related woes are feeling a bit more comfortable. @Theregoesmyhomebirth I love your DD reading to you in the dark, but I totally get that you don't!

@TwoBigNoisyBoys I'm a fellow chemo patient. Well done getting to your last one. Now you can focus on getting better.

I felt a bit better today and went to my art group and had a little mooch around the shops. We're not talking big town centre here but small seaside town. I'm probably not as well as I thought I was because I ended up totally knackered and slept solidly when I got home. Now I can't sleep! Still, I got some good bargains in the charity shops . In other news, I've hijacked my DH's hair appointment tomorrow. Most of my hair has fallen out, but I still have long strands on top. I feel like Baldy Man with a combover if anyone remembers that cigar advert. Its not a good look, trust me! So DH's hairdresser is going to give me a once over with the clippers. Unfortunately I don't think I'll carry off a buzz cut like Jada Pinkett Smith - I thought she looked fantastic at the Oscars.

Hi all,

I don't have a reason to be awake, but for some reason I happily distract myself from going to sleep .
I'll spend another day telling myself I must go to sleep earlier so I don't feel tired 😂

Hi @Confusedmeanderings, sorry, I meant my most recent chemo…I’ve had 22 weeks so far, and my last one is in a fortnight, so I’m nearly there! Thank god…This new regime I’m on (EC) is SO gruelling…it’s been really hard. I’ve been so poorly and have had a couple of blood transfusions. My hair has also been coming out 😕 I’ve always had really thick hair, but it’s now thin and patchy. I have a wig ready in case I have to go for the shave in the next few weeks. Alas, I don’t think I’ll look as good as Jada, either.

I hope your treatment is going well x

Feeling tired but can't sleep 😴 I do most of my worrying at night. I know it doesn't help but I can't stop my brain. I tried amitryptiline last night but it didn't help. Restless with a cold and just can't settle.

@TwoBigNoisyBoys While it’s wonderful that you’ve finished your last one, I’d imagine it’s a little hard to feel in the party mood when you feel so poorly. I know that feeling AND the sleeping at odd hours to accommodate it! Don’t worry about the hours; just give your body whatever it needs. Chemo is so tough, and your body probably just needs whatever it needs now (large naps… 2 Pepsi Maxes ) to get through it. I do hope tomorrow is a minor improvement and the day after that and the day after, as you go.

@Confusedmeanderings Oh man, a seaside town sounds lovely. Good for you! And I’m trying to do my hair too! The combover does sound both hilarious and I’m sure very difficult for you to deal with. Mine has been too long for yonks now and I’ve wanted to just take the kitchen scissors to it for months but DH says they’re not sharp enough and blah blah hair damage but it’s already a damaged mess and now it’s falling out all over the house from who knows what medication and it’s long so it’s EVERYWHERE. One fell in my food right in front of me even though I have it pulled back! Nothing in comparison to what you’re dealing with, so I don’t know how the he’ll you keep your composure - I imagine probably because you have no other choice, argh, isn’t that the bloody way of it. I do hope that can at least give you a nice short cut you’re okay with.

@SweetsAndChocolates It happens sometimes. Might just be your mind telling you that you want a bit more time to do “your” things (maybe you feel you give all your time to other things? Work or family?) or when I was a bairn, my gran said I always fought sleep because I didn’t want to miss anything, so perhaps your mind is doing the same, ha.

TwoBigNoisyBoys Crap, I wrote my first comment and now I’ve seen your second comment that you just mean your most recent treatment and you’re in the middle of it, putting up with all the ensuing exhaustion, hair loss, and what have you. Then DEFINITELY take the sleep whenever you need it, when you feel poorly. Chemo is so, so tough. I mean, I’m so glad we have it as an option, but there’s no doubt it’s rough. And wig or no, I’m sure you’ll be lovely. Just getting up and surviving the day when you’re dealing with something so difficult makes you lovely, even if I know it can be so hard to feel that way sometimes (cancer can be such a bitch - skin problems, hair problems, period issues, on and on, but the loveliness is beyond ALL of that).