To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 3: Return of the Insomnia

[5YearsLeft]

Hey all - We’ve made it to the third thread. Whether you’ve posted before or you’re brand new, if you’re stuck awake, then you’re welcome here. We’ve had people facing it all on the last few threads: grief (loss of DPs, DHs, parents, children, and pets), illness of every sort (cancer, COVID, post COVID, sciatica, antidepressant withdrawals, stomach bugs of every sort, cold/flu, autoimmune problems, and even more diagnoses), ill children and partners (vomiting, crying, unable to sleep… and that’s just the adult family members! Ok I’m kidding, that was mostly the kids), women in labor, women with surgery fears, fears of all other sizes, anxiety, work anxiety, and of course insomnia caused by myriad things (LOTS of peri and postmenopausal insomnia).

Whatever is keeping you awake, you’re always welcome to share it here.

If you’re following in from our last thread, it’s:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4473171-To-ask-what-you-re-doing-awake-post-midnight-Part-2-Insomnia-Strikes-Back

Falling asleep is no problem for me (I feel genuinely tired in the evening and look forward to going to bed). It's the staying asleep that's my issue. Frustrating and at times, debilitating.

@HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat That is REALLY common, especially on these threads. There’s so much room to worry at night. Also, can I ask why you would try amitriptyline for one night? It does help with worry, but as a regular anti-depressant, it needs to really build up for weeks in your system before it will help. It’s not a medication like say, lorazepam, where it will immediately stop worry or panic and make you drowsy. Taking it for one night wouldn’t make any difference at all, I wouldn’t think? I do hope maybe a different medication, counselling (I know it’s so difficult to get, but CBT can help with chronic worry), or something like the Calm app that can distract you a bit might help in the mean time.

@Namaste6 Ah yes! The second type of insomnia. I’m having trouble remember the formal names right now but there’s the can’t fall asleep kind and the can’t stay asleep kind and maybe even more scientific ones based on how many REM cycles you normally miss or something. I know it can be incredibly frustrating to look at the clock and realize you’re awake again and even if you lay quietly in the dark, it seems your body won’t go back to sleep. I do hope you can at least stay cozy and get some rest while doing something that’s a bit enjoyable (nice book, or watching a bit of a show - it can be shit being awakened at 4am all the time).

@5YearsLeft it usually does make me drowsy. Not used it recently, but desperation for sleep is making me consider it again now.
So fed up.
I've pulled my weighted blanket out now, see if that helps.

@HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat Ah. Well, I’m glad it usually works that way. I would just say that if you want to handle the worry, I would take the amitriptyline every night for a few weeks. If you think just getting to sleep will help the worry, you might want to just try something like Nytol, because it won’t affect as many other chemicals in your brain. This is totally up to you though! As I understand maybe your doctor recommended you do it this way, and if that’s the case, just keep on keeping on. I just hope there’s a way that can help with your worry AND get you a bit more sleep.

Hello and welcome to the officially Friday after-midnight thread. Whatever else you have going on, you’ve survived until Friday and that’s something. Good for you. Everyone is welcome here, no matter what’s keeping you awake, though the common ones lately are worry, sick children, illness, and regular insomnia (and all the other stuff: anxiety, rows with spouses, chronic pain, cancer and chemo, peri and full menopause, work stress, and everything else). This is a safe place to share and vent and just scream into the void if you need to. I hope rest finds you soon!

I don't have the words for what's been happening here😢

How's it with you @5YearsLeft
I hope a bit better

@purpleme12 Oh no!!!! I’m so sorry to hear that. What an absolutely shite time. I’m doing a bit better; just having a book and tea with my final pills.

I can't think too far ahead at the minute
It's too hard and stressful and uncertain

I'm so glad to hear you're s bit better

I'm with tabby cat at least

@purpleme12 Hey, hooooooray tabby cat. Well, don’t force yourself to think about the future tonight then. The future can stay outside. Sometimes, even if we can’t sleep, we have to still accept we can’t do anything about it tonight, and not torture ourselves more with all the bad things chasing us (I do know how that feels; I know it’s terrible and scary and feels just so shite). I hope you and moggy are able to be cozy together at least.

Thank you it is so nice to hear a friendly voice

Working I’ve got a new job which I’m crap at. I have a day with DS tomorrow so didn’t want to have to do any work tomorrow. I’ve finished for the night (until Monday yay!) but now I can’t switch of

@Piper22 Oh gosh, I’m sure you’re not crap at it; you just don’t know things yet! It takes everyone a while to figure things out some places are kind about that, and some places (filled with arseholes) aren’t, ha. I know it can be so hard to switch it off though when the worry feels so big, even when it’s technically the end of your week and you WANT to “set it down” until Monday. Maybe try getting cozy and distracting your mind for a bit with things you like (I always say happy book or some kind of non-sad TV programme to whatever YouTube/TikTok videos you like to watch for a bit, so your brain has a cool-off period).

The last 2 nights when I've not slept DbloodyH's snoring has been nonexistent. Unheard of, literally. Tonight, feeling knackered and he starts snoring. Now I'm way past tired and he's gone silent again! Aaargh! His next silence might be permanent if he's not careful!! lighthearted before someone says it

I am obsessing over this ear, the deformity and the wider implications.

@HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat Oh gosh, isn’t that just the way of it. Sounds about right - you’re awake, he’s quiet as a lamb. You manage to doze off; he sounds like a bloody tree removal service in the middle of the removal. Argh. I do hope you can “gently nudge” him into a more quiet position, har har.

@ArabellaStrange Just proving I know absolutely nothing about ears, I wouldn’t have even known that ear was deformed or that it had any meaning at all. I’m so sorry it’s keeping you up at night!!!

Restless toddler and covid 🙄
I'm slowly coming out the other side of covid as we've all had it, but it really hit me hard.
Youngest, who is almost 2, has slept really badly the last few nights and I've been up with her quite a bit . Spent last night watching old episodes of panorama on iPlayer while she slept in my arms - had no idea that Roman abramovich was such a crook!

Sending love to all finding things tough. I'm often reading your threads while I'm up with the kids at night but have never put my head above the parapet before.

Hello my people.

@5YearsLeft I’ve read your own “story” thread and followed you on insta. You’re inspiring and the humour and candour you approach your situation makes me think and reassess.

I’ve not been on the thread for a week. I’ve slept so much. Logged off work and slept all evening through the night.

Tonight my head and body seem to have decided I’ve had enough rest. Sigh.

I’ve taken some melatonin. One joy of when I used to travel for work.

Watching the team and vision I built for the company be dismantled is detracting me mentally. I know it’s meant to be work. Not your whole life. It’s hard. So hard. I want to run away and resign and go no more. I cannot protect my team from the fallout now and it’s so sad. Feel wretched.

Rest well all.

@NearlyHeadlessNick Oh gosh, so many on here have had such tough times with COVID and when you combine it with a toddler who just isn’t quite themselves, it’s a tough mixture. I do hope you’re able to get some rest tonight maybe and your toddler starts to get some sleep again. I know it can all just get so frustrating, and I hope you feel better, bit by bit.

@5YearsLeft it's called a train track deformity, the inner ridge follows the curve of the outer ridge, it's got less of a spiral type thing than a normal ear and is associated with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

@FlappyFish ah, thank you so much! I haven’t posted on Instagram lately nearly as often as I should since I’ve been sick so much. That sounds just awful about work, so perhaps not too surprising that your body and mind aren’t in alignment about resting when you’re dealing with something like that right now. Sometimes it’s hard to just set aside the things that hurt and worry is at night, OR we think we have successfully, but there we sit, wide awake. It can definitely be tough! I really do hope you find some more rest tonight. I know it doesn’t fix anything else, necessarily, but it makes it a tiny bit easier to face, or to make a plan for getting away from it.

Hi everyone, I have a poorly baby (toddler? When do they change?) here. Worrying a bit because she was night weaned but breastfeeding seems to be the only way to settle her this week. Hoping this is not the new normal. I don’t want to go back to routine night wakings!

@ArabellaStrange Ah. I thought facial signs were much “bigger” and easier to “read” in terms of fetal alcohol syndrome, I suppose. I hadn’t really heard of an ear being used to determine it, if there were no signs on the child’s face. But obviously, I don’t know much! I’m sorry if this is something that’s extremely distressing for you right now. I know these things can be just overwhelming.

@MoreThanRubies This is far, far outside my wheelhouse, but I’ve definitely heard mothers mention breastfeeding a baby/toddler when poorly at times they wouldn’t normally otherwise (nights after they’ve night weaned is a big one), because they won’t settle and having them scream the house down all night isn’t huuuugely popular. So I would think it’s really likely you’ll go back to normal once she’s not poorly. Good luck, and I hope she starts to feel a bit better and you get a wee bit of rest.

@5YearsLeft thank you, it’s really lovely to hear from a real person at this time of night!