Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: Friends want me to dog-sit, but...

228 replies

GoldfinchTart · 23/03/2022 18:30

I have family friends (her mum was my mum's best friend and she was like a sister to me when we were young) who took early retirement in 2019 and moved to the Devon coast, in a house with a beautiful garden overlooking the sea. I visited them before lockdown and it's lovely there. They acquired two dogs over lockdown. A cockerpoo and a terrier cross. I've seen loads of photos and videos and they seemed happy, playful dogs. I was looking forward to spending some time with them.

They contacted me in January to ask if I'd dog-sit for a fortnight over Easter. They're visiting her husband's family in Italy for the first time in three years. I said yes. I need a break and I can work from their home as easily as I can from my own. I had plans to take the dogs out to interesting places to walk, explore the coastline and generally turn it into a bit of holiday.

We've just been on the phone organising the finer details and they've dropped the bombshell that the dogs can't be left alone in the house or car, even if crated. The cockerpoo suffers abandonment anxiety and shits and howls if left. Neither of the dogs can be trusted off lead when out walking. Neither has been properly socialised and both are quite reactive and bark and lunge at other dogs when they're on a lead. The terrier is an escape artist and has to be on a long extending lead even in the half-acre garden.

I said that did she mean that the dogs couldn't be left, even for an hour, and she said yes, and that she'd recommend I didn't take them out walking on my own either, as they are both quite difficult around other dogs. So it'll basically mean that I'm stuck in the house and garden for two weeks, unable to go anywhere. They have a neighbour who will take the dogs for an hour or two but no longer — and not more than once or maybe twice a week. Otherwise they put them in kennels, where apparently the cockerpoo howls herself hoarse, or pay a dog-sitter to look after them at home.

I asked them how they cope and she just sighed and said they'd had a professional advise them and were working on the situation, but the cockerpoo was still a nightmare. When they'd asked me to dog-sit in January they'd hoped the dogs would be easier to manage by now, but there's been little improvement.

I think she picked up my concern because she suggested I bring a friend with me to make it easier. I can't think of anyone who's available for a fortnight and would want to spend time alone with the dogs while I have a morning or day out.

When I started saying that I wasn't sure and this sounded like a job for professional dog-sitters my friend got upset and said it was a bit late to arrange that now.

AIBU? Could I say that I'll do it, but they have to organise kennels or a dog-sitter twice each week so that I get a couple of days off to explore and have some time out to myself?

OP posts:
PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn · 23/03/2022 18:48

That's deeply unfair of them, yanbu.

Separation anxiety is really common in cockerpoos, it can be overcome though. Are they at least offering to pay you?

TheArtfulBlogger · 23/03/2022 18:49

Wow, they have really pulled a fast one. Saved themselves 2 weeks of kennel fees for 2 dogs (£500 around here) and have made you feel bad if you now pull out.

Clever, dishonest and sly people.

bellac11 · 23/03/2022 18:50

How were you meant to go out and get petrol or food, what if you need to seek medical care like the chemist or something like that.

HellToTheNope · 23/03/2022 18:51

She deliberately didn't tell you what a nightmare this would be because she knew you wouldn't agree to it. What an absolute bitch. I would refuse to go and not think another thing of it. She is no friend of yours.

Thumpkin · 23/03/2022 18:52

I have two dogs. This is going to be an absolute nightmare which you are totally in equipped for. They need to pay someone experienced with dogs to care for their dogs and stop being absolutely unreasonable in trying to palm two dogs off on you for a fortnight which can’t even be walked together. This is beyond the pale! It’s outrageous.

Thumpkin · 23/03/2022 18:52

Unequipped

Sgtmajormummy · 23/03/2022 18:52

I would re-negotiate and say I would HOUSE sit (which would mean overnight and dog feeding, cuddling etc) but that they would need to engage a dog sitter for four hours a day.
That way a professional would do the caring and walking and you’d be able to take a break from what sound like very difficult dogs.

Your friends would still be getting a good deal IMO.

MajorCarolDanvers · 23/03/2022 18:53

They are completing taking advantage of you.

They deliberately withheld information from you.

Say no and dont feel guilty about it.

Shostaklovhich · 23/03/2022 18:53

Don’t do it op. Sounds like, at best, it would be a nightmare. I wonder if there’s anything else they haven’t told you.

Thumpkin · 23/03/2022 18:54

Also @MatildaTheCat has written an absolutely spot on response which I think is absolutely the right thing to send.

OatmilkandCookies · 23/03/2022 18:54

That is shitty behaviour from her. She should have made it clear from the off how difficult the dogs are. She's made her own situation more difficult by leaving it this late to tell you and have to find a professional dog sitter.

Merryoldgoat · 23/03/2022 18:54

I really hate people sometimes.

Imagine thinking this is in any way reasonable?

I don’t know how you kept your cool OP. Of course YANBU and I’d cancel if I were you without hesitation.

Buildingthefuture · 23/03/2022 18:55

I love dogs. Bloody adore them. But I wouldn’t do this! I have no idea what she’s done to those dogs, but to not be able to walk two together on your own is an absolute nightmare. And to not be able to leave them, ever? Even if you have a dog sitter, it’s usually part of the contract that they can leave the dogs for 2-4 hours per day!
She has drip fed you the information and hasn’t been honest at all. I would say it’s not what you signed up for and give it a swerve. It sounds like those dogs need some quite serious behavioural intervention and that’s not what you agreed to at all.

Nicoise · 23/03/2022 18:57

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

Who's to say the dog won't howl when it's owners aren't there if it's abandonment issues? You're a stranger after all!
Well quite. My barmy neighbour asked me to have her equally barmy dog for the day and he howled all day. I ended up howling along with him.
HestersSamplerofCarrots · 23/03/2022 19:00

Well. They’re taking the utter piss, aren’t they?

RincewindsHat · 23/03/2022 19:01

I'm a dog lover and have two of my own and would not usually baulk at difficult dogs, but never being able to leave them alone? What if you need to go to a shop to get food or loo roll?! No.

HellToTheNope · 23/03/2022 19:02

@HestersSamplerofCarrots

Well. They’re taking the utter piss, aren’t they?
That's the understatement of the year. Truly unbelievable the cheek of these people.
Seraphinesupport · 23/03/2022 19:02

The sooner you decline the better for them as they may be able to sort something out but it isnt your fault they left out crucial details. they probably hoped it would be too late before you found out and that you wouldnt back out

MadameGazelleBand · 23/03/2022 19:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

Ratatoo · 23/03/2022 19:04

Sorry, that's not going to work for me. Thanks anyway

MuggleMadness · 23/03/2022 19:05

Dear Friend

Do you really expect me to stay in the house 24/7/2 weeks?

IF you had been honest with me in January, about the issues the dogs have, I may have been able to arrange a friend to come with me, to help you out, but not at such short notice.

IF you had told me earlier & I didn't feel I could cope, you'd have had longer to find an alternative.

I'm sorry but I'm not going to stay in the house 24/7 for two weeks, that's not what I agreed to when I said I'd dig sit for you, I expected to be able to take them for lovely walks etc, not have the three of us under house arrest.

Best of luck finding professional sitters or a kennel etc

Goldie

Nelliephant1 · 23/03/2022 19:06

Oh my goodness these owners need their heads banged together, poor dogs, there's absolutely no need for them to be in this state!!

Decline and tell them to get a decent trainer and behaviourist. Behaviourist for the dogs and trainer for the humans 😤

godmum56 · 23/03/2022 19:06

that is CFery of the highest order. I have got an old dog who can't be left so i don't leave him! I have got a family memeber who visits and will stay with him so I can do things like go to the dentist but I wouldn't DREAM of leaving him to go on holiday. Its not what you do to a friend or to the poor dogs. @MatildaTheCat's letter is MUCH politer than I would be.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 23/03/2022 19:07

She knew about this back in January and is hoping to guilt-trip you into sticking to your agreement. She's a cheeky cow.

I'm a professional dog-walker and pet-sitter - this is my job and there is no way on God's green earth I would agree to this.

Please say no. You will be utterly miserable even if she hires in some outside help.

GrandRapids · 23/03/2022 19:09

What a cheeky twat your 'friend' is. I would just tell her that this really isn't going to work for you and leave it at that. She's just pissed off because now she'll actually have to pay someone for the service!

Swipe left for the next trending thread