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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think my life just isn’t sustainable as it is? And how can I sort it?

172 replies

Strawberrychocolatevanilla · 23/03/2022 07:55

I honestly don’t know what to do with any of it.

I work FT. I also have a 14 month old who doesn’t sleep. He wakes constantly through the night and it takes ages to settle him. Last night I was up at 9, then 1130, it took me until nearly 2 to get him back down then awake again at 4. DH does try really hard to help but he just can’t.

I feel like I’m drowning financially - am paying off a variety of things and it’s a bit complex but just never have any money even though I’m on quite a good salary. I get paid on Monday and I will be overdrawn again by Tuesday.

I’m not really enjoying DS at the moment. Sometimes I do but a lot of the time I just find him relentless. I have food and he’s in my face wanting some. I try to give him calpol to ease cold symptoms and he screams and resists as if I’m subjecting him to extended torture. Last night he kept coughing and I snapped at him to stop. As if he could help it.

I’m just permanently tired, stressed, ratty. House is a mess. Never time to do or sort anything.

OP posts:
LizzieSiddal · 23/03/2022 11:43

How do nursery get him to sleep?

My Dd was exactly the same as you up until a month ago, absolutely knackered and at the end of her tether. I had gently been suggesting sleep training for a couple of months and in the end had to be quite blunt “keep on as you are, carry on being knackered and feel dreadful and unwell each day for the next ?? months/years or take some time to do sleep training and finally get some sleep!”

She asked the nursery for advice as her Dd sleeps in a cot there for 2 naps a day! Nursery advised her, Dd spent a week following their advice and granddaughter now goes to bed in her cot and sleeps! She does still sometimes wake in the night but she settles very quickly. Dd looks and feels like a different person as she’s getting a solid amount of sleep.

Sleep training IS the answer and one day you’ll realise you have to just get on and do it!

blobby10 · 23/03/2022 11:44

Strawberrychocolatevanilla you have my complete and utter sympathies. My three little darlings were all poor sleepers and with only 2 years between each it meant that as soon as i got the eldest sleeping, the next one down would be born and start the whole process again. My youngest also had bedwetting problems until she was 9 so I think it was 13 years before I started to be able to know I would sleep for more than 4 hours at a time! Many times when they were young I was up every 90 minutes - their Dad tried to help but only Mummy would do - much like your little one.

Sleep training didn't work for mine either, nor did controlled crying. The only teeny bit of comfort I can offer is that it does pass! It may not be connected but none of mine were 'traditional' teenagers who went to bed late and got up in the afternoon - they were all early risers and struggle with late nights even now they are in their 20's.

Eeksteek · 23/03/2022 11:48

You are 100% not being unreasonable. What you are trying to do is not sustainable. I know, because I tried, too. It is not possible to hold down a professional job with additional money worries and limited support if you have not had a whole (or even adequate) nights sleep for multiple years. Until you accept that, and change something you will feel like this.

I know it’s hard, I’ve been there. Sleep training DS is not the answer (its more stress for you) you can’t change other people. There is no way to make a child sleep. Some children are poor sleepers, as are some adults. As of tonight, I would suggest co-sleeping. Co sleep isn’t the best sleep, but it’s better than no sleep. Crisis management. If that doesn’t help you can move on. You can change co sleeping later when it’s not the best solution and your own sleep needs are fulfilled. You can fix your marriage later if you sleeping apart is such a problem (although if your DH can’t see how you need better sleep than you’re getting, and isn’t prepared to change anything in terms of your family aims, or his contribution to help get you both through, it’s probably already broken)

Getting DH to step up may be the answer. It might mean you can continue for a bit longer without burning yourself out. It might mean you both burn out. It might mean you burn out faster, because managing another person on top of your DS is……more effort. Depends how much of patriarch DH is, to be honest. You may need to be Very Clear that you cannot continue carrying most of this, and what the consequences will be if he doesn’t change.

So look at what you can change. You MUST accept that you can’t continue as you are ‘until….’ And look at your life goals. Who’s in favour of this ‘sticking it out until we can remortage’? Is it a person who is sleeping more than you? Again, I feel your pain, but in this position you can’t optimise everything else. Your needs come first. Speak with your relative about repayment terms. Speak to a debt helpline or a financial advisor. Look at other funding options. Accept that you cannot optimise your finances at the moment, that this is a VERY resource intensive time for families, and you might just need to coast, and not work ‘towards’ anything. That you WILL need to make some compromises. Maybe that’s a different job with less childcare and putting off the re-mortgage until later. Maybe your DH takes a loan you can both pay off more slowly. Maybe you need to move to cheaper housing, get a lodger, sell a car. Something has to give here. Don’t let it be your mental health.

Also, I think I read you are a teacher? Do you need some time off sick to deal with this? You get full sick pay for a while, and it applies to mental health as well as physical.

I’ll be honest, this broke my marriage. DH was saying ‘it’s not forever’ ‘we need the big house, you wouldn’t be happy anywhere smaller’ ‘DD needs to learn to sleep’ ‘we need you to work full time’ etc etc. But, dear reader, when I left him it turned out I did not need him at all. Nor the full time job, nor the big house. I lived perfectly contentedly in a small house, which I could afford ALL BY MYSELF with much reduced hours and the ability to take a bloody nap! Now, things are different, because I am getting enough sleep, and I want different things. But I’m not making somebody else pay for them with their health, time or effort. I will decide what I have the capacity to attain. DD never did ‘learn to sleep’. (She still wakes now, and she’s 11). It also appeared that he did not need my full time salary to keep his beloved house. He managed perfectly well on his own, and even managed to keep it nice and tidy. He was not ‘too stressed’ or even ‘too busy’ to do it himself when I wasn’t around to do it. He did ‘notice’ that the dishwasher needing emptying and he even managed to (at least I presume) feed himself every night and find his own keys without a tantrum. He also kept on the cleaner (which he was completely adamant ‘we’ couldn’t afford) when it was his labour she was saving and not mine. He simply would not step up if I would do it, and he didn’t care how much it broke me to meet his HIS priorities. He said he did, of course. But, dear reader, he only SAID so. He didn’t actually DO anything. And, because it is women who get the social blame (and consequences) and who cannot bear to see their children’s needs go unmet, we do it. There is no blame attached to this statement (well, not to anyone I wasn’t married to, anyway) it’s simply how things are. My point is I was almost at breaking point, and he wasn’t, so he had the freedom to look to the future. I couldn’t deal with my present. He had dreams at the expense of my truly awful reality. It really did almost break me, and I couldn’t see how stuck I was until I was in a better place myself, and I kept saying I ‘had to’ do it ‘until XXXX’. When I was just trying to optimise everything else, and not accepting that I was being crushed and it was stupid to try and find the best solutions for money etc while I was cracking up, and something else would have to give. It’s OK if you put things on hold to get through for now.

SleeplessInEngland · 23/03/2022 11:52

When you say sleep training doesn't work, how do you mean? By definition babies who are poor sleepers want to be picked up all the time, that's kind of what sleep training is meant to address.

Of course, 14 months is barely a baby anymore so I don't know if you have to try different techniques after that anyway.

Lindtnotlint · 23/03/2022 11:53

Can you describe what sleep training not working looks like? What would happen if you just didn’t go to him in the night for a week? (And are you sure you are right?). I ask because I don’t think you can fix any of the other stuff without sleeping better - sleep will make every other challenge feel SO much easier. So if there is any hope of fixing sleep you should take it, even if really challenging.

Branleuse · 23/03/2022 11:53

i think you should co sleep. You will get used to it. maybe in a bed next to you. Id do this just to get through the next few months and if it bothers you, can try and wean off that later on. At the moment its better to at least get disturbed sleep while youre all in bed, than to have to keep getting up and be fully awake

SleeplessInEngland · 23/03/2022 11:56

"I know it’s hard, I’ve been there. Sleep training DS is not the answer (its more stress for you) you can’t change other people."

OP - ignore this, it's nonsense. I have no idea why people feel the need to say it when what they really mean is "I don't like the idea of sleep training, therefore no-one else should dare try it."

emmsyg · 23/03/2022 12:00

My little one is a similar age. We use white noise playing on the Echo dot to get her over to sleep. For my son we had one of those ones that projects stars onto the ceiling and plays white noise so it worked for him too.

She also still has a 2-3 hr nap in the middle of the day and will still be tired enough for bed by 7pm. It's noticeable when she's at nursery that she doesn't nap as long and subsequently doesn't sleep as well at night. But if you're little one is waking often at night, there's maybe a cycle of overtiredness going on.

Sympathise with the wanting food, mine is the same and can't bear to see others eat when she's not. I got some of the Boon snack pots and fill it with cheerios or banana if others are eating and she's not to distract her. We normally have dinner once she's in bed!

What's the cot like? If he moves a lot in his sleep is he bouncing off the bars or similar and is that causing him to wake? My son gets really restless and actually gets cramp in his legs. We've started applying the BetterYou Magnesium sleep lotion to his legs which is working well so far. There are a few baby sleep pillow sprays now too. Lots of things get easier with age, but good sleep isn't something you should have to wait years for, so I hope you can figure something out.

nervousnelly8 · 23/03/2022 12:02

I haven't rtft but just to say the sleep WILL get better. 13-16m is peak separation anxiety stage in our experience - we had the same with our eldest and are going through it now with number 2. Eldest was an awful sleeper and then one day it just started getting easier. He consistently sleeps from 7-4.30ish now then has a cuddle and snoozes again until 6.

Have you been away for bedtime yet? We've found for both of ours that DH is much more able to help in the night if he has put them to bed without me. Go out mid afternoon and tell baby you'll be back in the morning. DH does dinner, bath, bed. He can tell baby you're out and will be back - they do understand a lot even at this age. Much higher likelihood he can settle at wake up time. If you can get at least one 4-5 hour chunk of sleep every night uninterrupted, everything looks so much brighter.

Re. The finances, you need to sit down with DH and look carefully at everything going out and coming in and make a plan. Something needs to give to make this less stressful.

Dixiechickonhols · 23/03/2022 12:06

If he’s a touchy feely type baby (wanting to be held) then a cm might suit better. Is his night waking worse now he’s at nursery and not getting the 1-1 attention. Not criticism of nursery (mine went happily and slept well) just wondering if more 1-1 care would suit his personality better.

Keepitonthedownlow · 23/03/2022 12:06

@Branleuse

i think you should co sleep. You will get used to it. maybe in a bed next to you. Id do this just to get through the next few months and if it bothers you, can try and wean off that later on. At the moment its better to at least get disturbed sleep while youre all in bed, than to have to keep getting up and be fully awake
I agree, I slept great with DD next to me and so did she.
SpiderinaWingMirror · 23/03/2022 12:07

How long to go on the relative loan?

tothemoonandbackbuses · 23/03/2022 12:11

I’ll say something really controversial here sleep training doesn’t work for every child. It had absolutely no effect on my first and year we did give it enough time.
What did help was feeding him an extra meal at 10pm in his case a pouch of savoury baby food. Another suggestion came from the husband of one of my mothers friends, get the baby to sleep in a double bed with you and then leave the bed and go back to your own. It worked with their son 40 years ago and it worked for us.
Hope it improves soon

HereComesTheSum · 23/03/2022 12:12

@Strawberrychocolatevanilla

It’s not that sort of debt - sorry. It’s not CCs etc. I am paying nursery fees (DH pays the mortgage and everything else, it’s because we’re hoping to switch to another mortgage soon and DH can’t have childcare commitments to get it) and paying back a relative. Combined it leaves me with not much. I can’t cut down either payment.

DH doesn’t have any more time than me is the problem.

But he Haa a child so you have to declare childcare costs regardless. Unless you plan to lie and say there are no childcare costs or he doesn't have a child? It doesn't matter if you pay them, you may not be there I.e you could divorce so that's why they take all costs into account with a sole application - even those paid by the partner etc. I used to have this when grandparents would say "but we pay the nursery fees" - it still had to go down as a cost to the parent as its their responsibility.
nonevernotever · 23/03/2022 12:13

Rather than kicking your husband out if the bed to facilitate cosleeping, what would happen if you slept in a different room (if you have one) leaving DH to share with your son? At the very least,it might help break his insistence on you being there for him all night?

SleeplessInEngland · 23/03/2022 12:15

"I’ll say something really controversial here sleep training doesn’t work for every child."

That's an entirely uncontroversial to say because it's true. Like therapy, it works for some and not others.

Eeksteek · 23/03/2022 12:16

@SleeplessInEngland

"I know it’s hard, I’ve been there. Sleep training DS is not the answer (its more stress for you) you can’t change other people."

OP - ignore this, it's nonsense. I have no idea why people feel the need to say it when what they really mean is "I don't like the idea of sleep training, therefore no-one else should dare try it."

I LOVE the idea of sleep training, and I tried every ‘method’ I could find. It just was more stress and effort for me. And DD turned out to be untrainable. If it were as simple as that, there would be no adult insomniacs. She is now under a paediatrician and on prescription medication for poor sleep, so it wasn’t me at all.

I have been in a similar situation and sleep training is really unlikely to be the answer here. Not with poor support and additional stresses. I didn’t say it is not the answer anywhere, or that I don’t the like idea of it.

You might as well say ‘I’ve tried sleep training and it worked for me. Every baby, parent and family is exactly the same as mine and will get the same results, if only they will get over their prejudice and try it’. Which would be equally ridiculous.

SleeplessInEngland · 23/03/2022 12:21

"You might as well say ‘I’ve tried sleep training and it worked for me. Every baby, parent and family is exactly the same as mine and will get the same results, if only they will get over their prejudice and try it’. Which would be equally ridiculous."

Except I never said anything like that. My stance has always been - it's an avenue worth trying if you're desperate.

You were saying: it didn't work for me, so don't bother.

People only ever do sleep training when they're frazzled from lack of sleep. If they didn't need it they wouldn't be frazzled.

musttryharder84 · 23/03/2022 12:25

OP has already said she gets very poor quality sleep when co-sleeping. There are risks associated with co-sleeping, and safe sleep practices you need to follow. One of these is don’t co-sleep if you’re exhausted – when my DD slept like OPs DS, I was permanently exhausted. I nearly fell asleep at the wheel of my car; it would not have been safe for me to co-sleep.

Some people are poor sleepers and some are good sleepers, but after 3 days of sleep training my DD she was falling asleep by herself which she’d never done before. She even sleeps through the night maybe 25% of the time, and when she does wake at night and calls for us, after seeing to her we can leave her and she will be asleep again within a few minutes whereas before we would be up with her for 2-3 hours trying to get her back to sleep after each wake-up.

Changingtides1234 · 23/03/2022 12:30

You could go to your bank about your overdraft
I remember as I was starting my teaching career I had a loan credit card and massive overdraft. I was paying more in fees each month.

I went to my bank and they did something called financial restructuring. They basically moved everything into one loan and then I paid that each month until paid off.

Could you do lunch duties or apply for a TLR if your up for it?

In relation to sleep that’s a hard one. Perhaps consider a sleep consultant rather than looking at books etc. Could you (I’m gonna get told off for this) turn toddlers cot into a baby bed? Then when he is upset you could climb in calm him down and then head back to your own. However, a sleep consultant would be able to identify the unlaying causes (although it’ll cost money.)
Is little one term time only or full time? If they are term time only could you speak to nursery today take a few extra days with little one and add to the bill so you can sort your house out

Sorry if these are useless ideas

Change123today · 23/03/2022 12:36

When my children where younger this was the hardest point until the free hours kicked in & then once they where at school. Tired from working tired of having little money! Felt like every Saturday I just did housework! It’s tough!

Make sure you both take advantage of the child care vouchers (if they still even have them!) housework can wait or delegate between you what’s important the rest can wait!

I’m now on the other side and then uni costs arrived! But at least they sleep better! So I actually feel like I get some sleep! & the house is cleaner!!

It will get better, it’s just bloomin tough at this moment!!

Coffeeonadrip · 23/03/2022 12:41

Ok I get that there's not much you can do right now in the secific situation you're in.

So, to survive the next year make some changes that would improve your health and wellbeing instead: take a multivitamin, drink enough water, take the little one for a walk before bed for fresh air and try 10 mins yoga every day. Not necessarily all at once! You'll at least feel like you're taking care of yourself in the chaos around you and you'll feel a bit better that there's still "you" and not just others people needs.

Hercisback · 23/03/2022 12:42

OP are you using tax free childcare?

I cannot stress enough that a really good go at sleep training a la super nanny should help. It's a bit brutal but within 3 days mine slept through. There will be extremes that can't be sleep trained (like PP) but this is rare.

Unless you have just posted for a moan, that's OK too.

LagunaBubbles · 23/03/2022 12:52

Di you have joint finances?

Eeksteek · 23/03/2022 12:56

@SleeplessInEngland

"You might as well say ‘I’ve tried sleep training and it worked for me. Every baby, parent and family is exactly the same as mine and will get the same results, if only they will get over their prejudice and try it’. Which would be equally ridiculous."

Except I never said anything like that. My stance has always been - it's an avenue worth trying if you're desperate.

You were saying: it didn't work for me, so don't bother.

People only ever do sleep training when they're frazzled from lack of sleep. If they didn't need it they wouldn't be frazzled.

No, I’m saying its not the answer right now. Which is rather different from my experience being ‘nonsense’. There is a much bigger picture here, which is that the OP is holding out for a future and trying to optimise a ton of stuff about mortgages and paying down debt, when shifting boundaries and aims to start from where she is now and getting herself in a better place at the expense of those expectations is OK. One of those expectations is that her child should or can sleep better, and not, as someone who has been in a similar situation, the biggest one.