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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this isn’t okay - cleaner nespresso

624 replies

Candyhats · 21/03/2022 04:56

We have a cleaner who comes in on a daily basis and obviously we have tea and instant coffee, which we keep in our home and provide for her to drink. However I noticed we are going through nespresso capsules quickly and then I realized she has nespresso(s) daily when she works. My husband does drink coffee and I’m the only one that drinks it and as a treat, even it home.

Aibu to address this with cleaner?

I tried to hide a sleeve with some capsules in, she found it and had a couple while emptying the rest into the nespresso jar.

OP posts:
BacardiOnATuesday · 21/03/2022 11:20

@ivykaty44

BacardiOnATuesday

Do you have cheap instant for the second class trades and expensive instant for those much better class of people?

No, we all have the same… no coffee hierarchy in this household! (I do have my own favourite mug though which no-one else is allowed to touch)!…
Pluto301 · 21/03/2022 11:24

It would annoy me too but I don’t think I’d say anything.
Can you start offering her a coffee when she first arrives and make her an instant for a few weeks? Maybe she’ll take the hint.

Pluto301 · 21/03/2022 11:25

Also I am surprised she helps herself.
My cleaner doesn’t even help herself to tap water 😂

Toddlerteaplease · 21/03/2022 11:27

My cleaner is welcome to use my Nespresso machine. She doesn't, but she's doing a job I loathe so I won't begrudge her nice coffee.

eldora · 21/03/2022 11:29

Come OFF it @Candyhats - nobody could POSSIBLY have known the cleaner was there every day because your DH is disabled, because you never mentioned that in your OP. You took 300 posts and 5 hours to add this information. People aren't mind readers.*

And despite this brand new information yes YABU to begrudge her a nice coffee. Have a bit of respect for her.

Exactly!

ZenNudist · 21/03/2022 11:29

@ShirleyPhallus I know! I felt awful and did try and refuse the birthday money in the first instance but she insisted, it's only a fiver but I feel unnecessary. It does come back in us feeling generous at Christmas and birthdays. Plus we pay holiday pay when we don't have to. She is also quite expensive and regularly tells us her rates are going up. I think she is quite clever really to invest a bit to get more.

Also @YellowLemonYellow I agree not everyone has a good relationship with their cleaner. I still think regardless as an employer you have to be generous.

It's hard to find a nice reliable cleaner who does a good job. I'd say 2 out of 3 is your best bet. Not worth falling out over coffee
.

SeasonFinale · 21/03/2022 11:31

Indeed if his disability is of a type which requires a daily cleaner I think begrudging her a 30p cup is even more off. Good luck with your complaint or deduction from wages which I suspect would lead to a good luck finding a new cleaner.

Hollywolly1 · 21/03/2022 11:35

But why are posters attacking @Candyhats just because suddenly they find out her husband is disabled, why would that make any difference.The issue is the cleaner helping herself to expensive coffee pods everyday,I think the cleaner is cheeky and taking advantage of the op.Just because the op likes nice coffee doesn't make her rich, maybe she doesn't drink all her money in the local pub.

dangerrabbit · 21/03/2022 11:38

If this thread is actually for real then yes, YABU

ImAvingOops · 21/03/2022 11:38

Maybe OP didn't consider her husband's disability as relevant to the post. It doesn't matter why she has a cleaner. The question was whether it's appropriate for the cleaner to help herself to several coffee pods each day.

But if posters are going up argue that it was on the OP to explain that she needs a daily cleaner on account of her husband's disability, then equally it's posters' responsibility to think about why a person might need a daily cleaner before putting the boot in!

Personally, I don't think it's relevant. I think the cleaner should be cleaning and not using lots of expensive pods every day without asking.

Calandor · 21/03/2022 11:39

I wouldn't care. It's coffee... instant coffee is gross and she's a cleaner not a servant. Just let her have one nice coffee... if you can afford a cleaner then I think you can afford not to begrudge her that.

YellowLemonYellow · 21/03/2022 11:39

I've just remembered - my best friend's ex cleaner used to help herself to alcohol (but that's a whole different thread).

ImAvingOops · 21/03/2022 11:43

I also don't understand the "if you can afford the cleaner you can afford her coffee" argument. Maybe the OP can afford the cleaner because she gives up a lot of extras that other people would be unwilling to lose. Maybe those pods are a rare treat.

AnneKisee · 21/03/2022 11:43

@Hollywolly1

But why are posters attacking *@Candyhats* just because suddenly they find out her husband is disabled, why would that make any difference.The issue is the cleaner helping herself to expensive coffee pods everyday,I think the cleaner is cheeky and taking advantage of the op.Just because the op likes nice coffee doesn't make her rich, maybe she doesn't drink all her money in the local pub.
Like @HopefulProcrastinator said posters don't understand that what they think is 'normal' and just 30p may be a treat for someone else. Also cleaners are a 'luxury' and people think an employer must be Lady Bountiful.

The other GLARING omission is that the instant coffee isn't specially for the cleaner. It's in the OP's home. Where does it say that she never drinks it??

The snobs who consider instant coffee beneath them have jumped to the conclusion that there's two tier coffee. When in fact it's more likely that the OP also drinks instant coffee, and the Nespresso is a treat iyswim. Not that she's dumping cheap coffee on the cleaner!

Wheniruletheworld · 21/03/2022 11:44

@Candyhats

We have a cleaner who comes in on a daily basis and obviously we have tea and instant coffee, which we keep in our home and provide for her to drink. However I noticed we are going through nespresso capsules quickly and then I realized she has nespresso(s) daily when she works. My husband does drink coffee and I’m the only one that drinks it and as a treat, even it home.

Aibu to address this with cleaner?

I tried to hide a sleeve with some capsules in, she found it and had a couple while emptying the rest into the nespresso jar.

Apparently Hugh Hefner was so mean he used to make his houseguests use a payphone (pre mobiles obv), so you are in elite company, OP. Sit back and watch your bank balance grow while the plebs 'eat cake'
AnneKisee · 21/03/2022 11:44

@Calandor

I wouldn't care. It's coffee... instant coffee is gross and she's a cleaner not a servant. Just let her have one nice coffee... if you can afford a cleaner then I think you can afford not to begrudge her that.
Another one with high class taste buds Grin It's perfectly fine for me thanks, and maybe even (gasp!) the OP!
extractorfactor · 21/03/2022 11:48

Couple of things; as pp mentioned up thread these coffee machines don't have a particularly long shelf life (I don't know about nespresso) but my Delongi one has a needle which pierces the pods. The needle eventually gets blunt and since you can't get spare parts the entire machine needs replacing (don't get me started on the environmental impact of this).
I think if op uses the machine as a treat (maybe as an example on a Sunday morning) then it's not on for the cleaner to help herself as a daily ritual. it's quite possible if op had a cleaner once a week she'd automatically offer the cleaner a pod coffee. But everyday is extra wear and tear on the machine, and using pods isn't great for the environment either.
None of us know how disabled op' dh is. He could be extremely infirm, and op could be juggling work whilst being his carer. It's up to her how often a cleaner comes in, for all we know the cleaner does an hour a day so 5 hours a week, I doubt that's far off the number of hours most people have a cleaner (I don't have a cleaner, but friends who do normally employ someone for 3hours a week).
Op it might be worth considering the refill pods you can get; again don't know about your machine, but on mine I use a metal one, (I have to make sure everything is properly aligned and because there is a teeny hole in the lid my machine should last longer).
Personally I'm not a coffee snob, but instant coffee gives me AF (Arterial Fibrillation) not sure if it's to do with a heavier caffeine dose or the manufacturing process but either which way I can't drink it. DH does drink instant as it was costing us a fortune when he started working from home (the difference being I'll have one coffee a day DH has four as a bare minimum).
Op's cleaner drinking just one pod a day will be approx (40p x 5) = £2.00 a week that's £8.00 per 28 days or £92 per 46 weeks (so nearly £100 a year I've accounted for six weeks off) . Whereas op probably spends just £2.00 on her coffee luxury per 28 days (£24 per year)
I did a cleaning jobs many years ago to help fund my uni expenses, I'd never dream of helping myself to tea or coffee, seriously I can go a few hours without food and fluid! Also I don't think I've ever worked in jobs where tea and coffee has been supplied, I've always had to buy my own or put into the communal pot! I'm now self employed and I'd never expect my clients to offer me refreshment; I'm providing a service and in return they pay me.

LakieLady · 21/03/2022 11:51

When I have workmen in the house, I always offer them real coffee, freshly ground, made in a Bialetti stove top pot. And I ask them if they'd prefer hot milk. I wouldn't dream of making them drink instant while making the good stuff for myself. It's rude. (Fine if they prefer it, and some of them do. My plumber reckons my coffee is so pokey it would get you banned from the Olympics!)

If the OP lives in an area like mine, where good cleaners are so hard to come by that they have a waiting list, she'd be well advised to let her drink whatever the fuck she likes!

Mickarooni · 21/03/2022 11:53

Having a disability does not mean you need to treat a cleaner as if they’re beneath you.

YellowLemonYellow · 21/03/2022 11:54

LakieLady

This post made me laugh. I don't think your situation is the same as OP's.

Is it a joke post or real?

DuckyNoMates · 21/03/2022 12:14

Just explain you're cutting back on them and could she just have one as a treat on Fridays or on a particularly bad day as that's what you do.

susihol · 21/03/2022 12:18

@TigerLilyTail

I understand, we had a similar issue with our cleaner. I always buy toilet paper from Harrods as it's the only one that doesn't give poor Tarquin a sore arse.

I bought the cleaner some special toilet paper from Aldi, which I assumed she would be familiar with and comfortable using. But, she kept using the nice toilet paper, even though I said that it wasn't for the likes of her.

One day she walked out mid-shift and called me a cunt!! Shock

The cheek of the whole thing still astounds me.

😂 😂
DuckyNoMates · 21/03/2022 12:18

@Mickarooni

Having a disability does not mean you need to treat a cleaner as if they’re beneath you.
OP isn't though. OP just has them as occasional treats not every day.
DuckyNoMates · 21/03/2022 12:23

Say it was biscuits. And you had a tub of hobnobs on the side but a stash of ultralovely chocolate covered fancy ones in the cupboard that you only had 1 a week of. It wouldn't be ok for the cleaner to go through the cupboard to find the fancy ones.

TheBeautifulMoors · 21/03/2022 12:23

I don’t know how much the pods cost but if they cost say £2 each and she’s having two a day while you have them as a treat, of course you’ll be fine to address it with her! She’s costing you an extra £20 per week, when you’re not spending that on yourself. I think you can be polite and honest. Let her know you can’t afford it.
Those saying you’re tight, mean, etc are being ridiculous. Even if it’s a £1 per pod, that’s £10 extra a week. It’s expensive.