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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think this isn’t okay - cleaner nespresso

624 replies

Candyhats · 21/03/2022 04:56

We have a cleaner who comes in on a daily basis and obviously we have tea and instant coffee, which we keep in our home and provide for her to drink. However I noticed we are going through nespresso capsules quickly and then I realized she has nespresso(s) daily when she works. My husband does drink coffee and I’m the only one that drinks it and as a treat, even it home.

Aibu to address this with cleaner?

I tried to hide a sleeve with some capsules in, she found it and had a couple while emptying the rest into the nespresso jar.

OP posts:
lalaloopyhead · 21/03/2022 10:03

I understand OP, I limit myself to one a day max as they are not cheap and I think of them as a treat.

I don't think expecting someone not to help themselves to stuff in your kitchen is overly bad form...what if it were food out the fridge, or a couple of slices of bread? Not neccesarily expensive but still it is polite to ask before using something.

DameHelena · 21/03/2022 10:03

Thanks to the posters who answered my post without judging and being presumptuous as to my financial status or character.
Oh give over, you knew if you say you have a daily cleaner, the assumption will be that you are well off. It's up to you offer clarifications.
I agree with this. People can jump to the worst conclusions and while I don't condone it (or the spite and venom of some of these responses), it is up to you to pre-empt it.
And have you ever explained to her about the coffee? Or have you just expected her to somehow know what's for her and what isn't? If the latter, that's not very fair.

Rather than I hiding the capsules, have a simple adult conversation with her.

Gonnagetgoing · 21/03/2022 10:04

@Candyhats

Typo from OP; to be clear my DH does not drink coffee.

Cleaner required daily due to DH having a disability.

@Candyhats - interesting re your update.

DB's PIL's have a twice weekly cleaner - family friend now - they also have Nespresso. Because he's a paraplegic she will often make him lunch too, because she's kind like that.

I don't they'd mind her having as many Nespressos as she wanted but as I mentioned before if it's a 'treat' and she has more than one, then yes I might say something.

YellowLemonYellow · 21/03/2022 10:04

There are some childish comments on here.

Belladonna12 · 21/03/2022 10:04

Not everyone drinks or likes instant coffee nowadays and she would have no reason to assume that if you said she could have a coffee she could only have the shit instant stuff. If the only coffee on offer is instant I would have a glass of water or tea. Hide the Nespresso if it's a big a deal.

CounsellorTroi · 21/03/2022 10:04

[quote AnneKisee]@CounsellorTroi I hope you're happy having insulted a disabled person. God help you when you're old and infirm[/quote]
I’ve asked for my comment to be deleted as it is clearly inappropriate in light of OP’s updates which I had not read when I posted it. Apologies to OP.

grapewines · 21/03/2022 10:04

Regardless, it's tight.

Gonnagetgoing · 21/03/2022 10:05

@YellowLemonYellow

There are some childish comments on here.
@YellowLemonYellow - pile on Monday!
MurmuratingStarling · 21/03/2022 10:06

@Candyhats

Thanks to the posters who answered my post without judging and being presumptuous as to my financial status or character.
Come OFF it @Candyhats - nobody could POSSIBLY have known the cleaner was there every day because your DH is disabled, because you never mentioned that in your OP. You took 300 posts and 5 hours to add this information. People aren't mind readers.

And despite this brand new information yes YABU to begrudge her a nice coffee. Have a bit of respect for her.

AnneKisee · 21/03/2022 10:07

@Bunnycat101

When I’ve had workmen before a few have been surprised to have a nice coffee. Apparently it’s quite common for people to make themselves a nice one and have a jar of Nescafé for builders etc. it wouldn’t cross my mind to buy a product I wouldn’t normally drink for workmen.

OP if you’re cleaner is in every day, you’ll end up with a slightly different relationship with her because of the regularity. I think you can say that the pods are just a treat for you and your daily coffee is x which she’s welcome to. I would treat her in the same way you do (so if a pod is a treat for you, it’s not fair for her to be having them daily but if you had them daily, I’d think you were being v stingy to deny her one.

I'm also surprised at all the snobs here having a go at instant coffee. There's 'shit', 'normal' and 'fancy'. The presence of fancy coffee doesn't mean that the instant one is 'shit'. There are different types of instant coffee. And it's easier to make too!

If you're too posh to drink instant coffee that's your problem, but that doesn't make it shit. OP has never said that she ONLY drinks fancy coffee.

MurmuratingStarling · 21/03/2022 10:07

[quote ShirleyPhallus]**@MurmuratingStarling@FleeceNavidadfromtheSheep it’s mostly piss taking, wondering if the OP is real, bit of troll hunting and parody etc[/quote]
Thanks Shirley. Smile I did wonder why all the deletions!!!

AnneKisee · 21/03/2022 10:08

@MurmuratingStarling 5 hours? It's 9 a.m., OP isn't glued to Mumsnet! She does't 'owe' anybody an explanation.
Fair enough for people making assumptiions but the sheer GLEE in kicking the OP is disgusting.

Turningpurple · 21/03/2022 10:08

@Candyhats

Typo from OP; to be clear my DH does not drink coffee.

Cleaner required daily due to DH having a disability.

I get you may need a cleaner.

But my dp is on higher rate DLA. We still could afford a daily cleaner. Most people, wether they need one or not, still couldn't afford one daily.

This is isn't a good argument for 'oh but we aren't really well off' unless people on DLA can get access to a free cleaner. If so, please share how to apply.

DropYourSword · 21/03/2022 10:10

@PartyPlan

This reminds me of a thread where the OP was moaning that her sister used her “good” shower gel. Turns out it was a squirt of Fenjal which you can buy for about three quid in Boots.
I bloody love Fenjal.
CPL593H · 21/03/2022 10:10

[quote AnneKisee]@CounsellorTroi I hope you're happy having insulted a disabled person. God help you when you're old and infirm[/quote]
Where does it say that the OP has a disability? Happy to be corrected.

ZenNudist · 21/03/2022 10:13

I have a cleaner once a week. Every day is clearly a massive luxury. I don't get why your DH being disabled means you need a cleaner every day. You must have money for that therefore can afford an extra quid on 3-4 nespresso capsules a day. Unless you have the expensive new kind. I'd be more bothered my cleaner was having 3 or 4 coffees rather than working.

If im making nespresso when cleaner is there then I offer her one. I don't expect her to be faffing around making drinks because she is only there a few hours. She might have 2 drinks whilst she is there, most of which we make as we make our own.

I also offer her cake and biscuits when we have them and I send her home with homemade cake when we have it. In turn she gets chocolate for the dc and gives them birthday money. We give her birthday presents and Christmas bonus.

If you can afford a cleaner you can afford to be generous.

DameHelena · 21/03/2022 10:14

CPL593H, it's the OP's DH. See her post Mon 21-Mar-22 09:41:41

linnyb71 · 21/03/2022 10:14

Hi op.Does your cleaner know that it is only the instant coffee she is meant to have? Perhaps she just dosen't realise that she's not meant to have your special coffee? It's more than likely a misunderstanding. Just mention it nicely to her.Best wishes.

James44 · 21/03/2022 10:15

C'mon @Candyhats, You have made it, you are now fairly well off. Change your outlook and be a little more generous to the rest of us. Us poorer people who can only afford a cleaner for a half day a week and especially your cleaner on minimum wage.
Give us a coffee and put some decent biscuits out for her, above all speak to her, offer them as you would to a guest.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 21/03/2022 10:16

I can’t imagine being this tight with coffee. There’s no nice way to say to the cleaner, please use the instant coffee without her feeling second class in your home. You could hide the box and say give run out/not using it at the moment but I still think that treating a cleaner well will pay off.

MurmuratingStarling · 21/03/2022 10:16

@Belladonna12

Not everyone drinks or likes instant coffee nowadays and she would have no reason to assume that if you said she could have a coffee she could only have the shit instant stuff. If the only coffee on offer is instant I would have a glass of water or tea. Hide the Nespresso if it's a big a deal.
This. ^ I think instant coffee tastes like shit. I would rather just have a glass of water tbh. It doesn't make me a snob, it just means I don't like instant coffee FFS Hmm
EmeraldShamrock1 · 21/03/2022 10:17

Speak up, tell her it is bothering you, she is welcome to bring her own pods.

theveryhungrycatapillar · 21/03/2022 10:17

@Daenerys77

The lower classes have no shame nowadays. I bet she washes her hands in your bathroom with your scented soap if you aren't around to direct her to the outside tap.
😂😂😂
YellowLemonYellow · 21/03/2022 10:18

ZenNudist

Your cleaner gives your DC Birthday money? I don't give Bob's (my boss) DC anything for their Birthday and he doesn't bake me cakes.

You have a nice relationship with your cleaner but not everyone is like this.

Ilovedthe70s · 21/03/2022 10:24

I have no interest in why you need a cleaner, I also have no interest in how often said cleaner cleans. I’m not paying so I don’t care.
You asked for opinions as to whether you are being unreasonable and my opinion on this, and only this, is yes you are.