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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh follows me to bed

367 replies

overreactionreally · 20/03/2022 06:41

So obviously there are times when dh and I go to bed together but sometimes I like to go up first. I like pottering about, having some wind down time to myself. I'll read a bit in bed then doze off. Lately dh has started coming to bed at same time as me (regardless how early) he's in bed in seconds and wants light off straight to sleep. It bugs my routine but obviously I can't say anything as iabu.

Just wondering if there's anything your oh do that annoy you but you don't feel you can say because they are not really doing anything wrong?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Moonshine5 · 20/03/2022 09:41

@BeHappy91818

Does breathing count? 😂
LOL 😂
Moonshine5 · 20/03/2022 09:44

@BlueFlavour

When he uses my best mug Grin It really really annoys me. I put the crap mugs to the front of the cupboard and the nice ones at the back. I can just about handle him using one of the middle ranking mugs, but when he uses one of the top three I want to snatch it away from him.
LolSmile
eastegg · 20/03/2022 09:47

DH wafts his clothes to fold them on the bed causing a draft. He does it near the head end of the bed so I get the slightly too cold breeze as I’m sat reading, whereas if he did it a bit further down the bed I wouldn’t. I’ve never said anything though as I think it would sound so shit!

malificent7 · 20/03/2022 09:55

Top mug in my house...i have 3!

Dh follows me to bed
Yellownightmare · 20/03/2022 09:56

Could you get him a mug that says handsomest guy ever with his photo. He'd surely want to use that ALL the time.

HappyMiddleChild · 20/03/2022 09:56

@GeneLovesJezebel

No TV’s in the bedroom ! It’s for sex and sleep only.
100% this
Sundaysiesta · 20/03/2022 09:58

Mug photos have inspired me to post - crap (but still strangely keep-able) high middle and top.

Dh follows me to bed
LBFseBrom · 20/03/2022 09:58

I get why it irritates you but he is entitled to go to bed when he chooses, just as you are. There's nothing to stop you getting up quietly and reading downstairs, surely. Then you can go back to bed when you are really sleepy.

Lookingforanswers202 · 20/03/2022 10:00

@Sundaysiesta

Mug photos have inspired me to post - crap (but still strangely keep-able) high middle and top.
I like the middle one a lot - where’s that from?
chubbachub · 20/03/2022 10:02

Re the worst mugs that DH uses and brings out when we have people round: i'll just leave this here.

Dh follows me to bed
HappyMiddleChild · 20/03/2022 10:04

He also sits on the bed to put his socks on. Why can't he stand up to do it?

@Nightdancer exact opposite here, I tell DH to sit on the bed as he nearly loses his balance whenever he tries to put his socks on when standing, cracks me up every time Grin

Original poster
overreactionreally · 20/03/2022 10:06

@Nightdancer my husband sits on the bed to put his pants and trousers on. Pulls them up as far as they will go, then Puts his socks on. He also brushes his teeth like a feral animal.

OP posts:
Rubyupbeat · 20/03/2022 10:08

@Bluefavour
I do the same, plus have my own seperate favourite one Smile

Aworldofmyown · 20/03/2022 10:08

For me, the handles are a bit dainty on your top two. The middle ranker has a good handle size, but anything with 'Love' on immediately gets moved to crap territory.
Sports direct mug is an abomination.

lottiegarbanzo · 20/03/2022 10:10

I sit on the bed to put my socks on. Is that bad? I might fall over otherwise!

I am pleased to say we are fairly well-aligned on mug hierarchy in this household (though I did have to sneak an excess of low-grade ones off to the charity shop at one point).

Muppetlove · 20/03/2022 10:10

I don't understand why you can't say anything, op. Don't do it at bed time but tell me you like to read in bed. If I want to go to sleep before dh I put on my eye mask.

We have a mug hierarchy but it was instigated by dh so I'm only likely to annoy him if I don't follow it.

Occasionally of late he has moved my milk from its corner of the fridge. I am sure he doesn't realise but I will be telling him next time he does it. My milk is happy in that corner. 😂

Sometimes when he feeds the cats he leaves the strip of the wet pack on the laundry side. I can always see it and don't understand what's so complicated about putting the seal in the bin at the same time as the packet and the old food. He will throw them in the bin at some point over the next few hours but I have to hear it mercifully calling my name in the meantime.

LadyCordeliaFitzgerald · 20/03/2022 10:15

I read the op thinking that dh doesn’t annoy me at all (currently in the oestrogen love haze part of my cycle - ask me again in a week) but then I read about scowling man bang bang films, and mug hierarchies.

I ditched all the ugly mugs and bought 8 top tier mugs but dh retrieved his favourite mug which is taller than mine and has a cartoon character on it ffs. It ruins my mug zen.

I love going to bed together as long as I go to sleep first. But sometimes he has the audacity to nod off first and that’s my night ruined. Takes me ages to get off. It’s not that he snores or anything - it’s like the call of the wild when the whole house is asleep and no one is talking to me and I can hear myself think - it’s just irresistible.

LadyEloise1 · 20/03/2022 10:17

DD2 sometimes buys me a mug she thinks I'll like.
Usually Cath Kidston.
I do like the colours and patterns.
But they're not bone china !!
I love drinking coffee from my bone china mugs.
I haven't the heart to tell her.
She'd be gutted.

CustardySergeant · 20/03/2022 10:19

whatajuckingfoke "then have ten minutes relaxing in bed with a boom before he gets in."

A "boom"? What's that, a really deafening fart? Wink

Sorry, but that was quite a funny typo. Grin

Oblomov22 · 20/03/2022 10:19

Have you talked to him and explain how You feel? That you like going to bed a bit earlier, your routine, but he's started coming up straight away and .....?

MsChatterbox · 20/03/2022 10:23

I have a bath to avoid this. Read in the bath for some time alone!

BoldMove · 20/03/2022 10:24

My dh has his own mug and wouldn't dare touch my special ones. I have now come to the realisation that I also have a mug hierarchy!
My dh always turns the radiator on in the kitchen then I turn it off. I spend most time in there and it gets too hot, he says it helps to keep mould at bay and that's why there isn't any in there? We really need a fan. Its a bit of a game rather than a power battle. We did agree to only have it on during the day if the heating was on in he winter and off in the evening but neither of us has kept to this!! I did consider glueing it shut at one point.......GrinGrinGrin

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 20/03/2022 10:33

@humancalculator

BlueFlavour, your mug hierarchy delights me. I now will be looking at mine to decide whether they're crap, middle-ranking or top three.
I have a separate shelf for my top mugs. They are washed by hand and never go in the dishwasher.
nettie434 · 20/03/2022 10:33

Would it work to have a 'lights out' conversation along the lines of 'I'm going up to bed now and I'm going to read until x time or so'. That way you can make it clear that you are not going to turn the light off, no matter how much he tosses about and shades his eyes.

I love the mug hierarchy. I'm off to read the mug thread now while drinking a coffee in my weekend mug.

starfishmummy · 20/03/2022 10:33

"
My dp seems to take ages to get dressed. It really irritates me if I'm in bed. He also sits on the bed to put his socks on. Why can't he stand up to do it? I've never known anyone take so long."

@Nightdancer mine does stand up to put his socks on but now he is older he holds on to the bedpost with one hand while doing it. He wobbles and therefore the while bed wobbles too!!

It's been mostly fine while he was working from home as we were getting up together. Now hes back to leaving the house at 6.30 for his commute I'm being shaken again! . However as he brings me a cuppa in bed before he leaves I am not going to moan too much!!