Dh follows me to bed

[overreactionreally]

So obviously there are times when dh and I go to bed together but sometimes I like to go up first. I like pottering about, having some wind down time to myself. I'll read a bit in bed then doze off. Lately dh has started coming to bed at same time as me (regardless how early) he's in bed in seconds and wants light off straight to sleep. It bugs my routine but obviously I can't say anything as iabu.

Just wondering if there's anything your oh do that annoy you but you don't feel you can say because they are not really doing anything wrong?

@BlueFlavour

I can post pics of mug hierarchy

Suggest a detailed illustrated spreadsheet with clear instructions. Mug A for morning Yes, B for lunch coffee etc and make it clear which are panusable cups for all and which a Special and not to be bloody shared.

The seriously explosive sneezing. Like a sodding bomb going off.

Oooo, yes. Why do men have to shout when they sneeze? On a bad day, it's followed by 20 minutes of sniffing and snorting. When I handed DH a tissue once, he was mystified.

Loving the mug hierarchy.

Agree with everyione else @BlueFlavour that crap mug needs to be binned.

This is my best mug (M&S £5 lovely and big for my weird herbal tea) and NO ONE ELSE may use it

DH leaves the tv on when he’s left the room. It turns me into my dad as I mutter something under my breath about electricity bills-which is no laughing matter at the moment given the rises.

DH walks too loudly and it absolutely infuriates me.

(Eg in slippers he has to scuff the soles as he walks and we have all hard floors, so it's a constant SKSHHH-SKSHH-SKSHHH sound, and upstairs he walks really heavily on his heels so the whole fucking house shakes even in the middle of the night when the kids are sleeping. I fucking hate it.)

Well, you have all made me feel better about being stuck in bed all of the time (chronic illness). I spend every day reading and watching TV on my iPad and I can do what I want. DH and adult sons come in from time to time for a chat and bring tea and food.

The only downside is that all of our mugs are totally crap! All of the males in our house are so clumsy with them that there is no point in buying good ones.

Which ones do you recommend, if I do want to get some nice ones just for myself?

Can't you say you want some time alone to read your book a few times a week and find a compromise?

If he can't compromise then I think there are bigger issues in your marriage.

@Strictlyfanoftenyears

Ive made a MUG thread

I've posted my plank mug on it :)

@DottyHarmer

I read a newspaper article a while back on “Things builders know” and no. 1 was that they know you have Special Builders’ Mugs - ie crap ones guilty as charged. I think no.2 was that they know the Special Middle-Class Talking to Builders Voice - ie trying to disguise plummy tones and saying “mate” awkwardly (Dh guilty party here).

Damn, I have held onto my crap mugs for when the builders start the works I need . Cos I can’t get builders it’s been 9months and counting now. Now I find I should have thrown them months ago as builders need higher ranking mugs.

Aghhhh

Leaving you all for the mug thread now 👋🏻

[quote DragonMovie]@Nightdancer I can’t imagine opting to put socks on standing up when there’s the option of something to sit on?![/quote]
There are people who would say they dont understand why you need to sit down for putting socks on, unless you are elderly or ill or something ;) But the point was that it disturbes the PP.

@BlueFlavour

When he uses my best mug It really really annoys me. I put the crap mugs to the front of the cupboard and the nice ones at the back. I can just about handle him using one of the middle ranking mugs, but when he uses one of the top three I want to snatch it away from him.

The others in my house just don't 'get' mug rankings - it is so obvious why some are better than others and should be used for MY cup of tea - why are they so stupid?

obviously I can't say anything as iabu.

Why would you be unreasonable to ask him to give you some time to potter around before turning off the light. He could join you later or not object to the light for a while until you are ready.

That's how we do it.

Why do you think you would be unreasonable to have an adult conversation about your different ways to getting ready for bed ? Does he usually dismiss your concerns ?

@whatajuckingfoke it's not just breakages that are a threat to The Good Mugs!

I have some lovely handmade pottery mugs (my mum gave me a pair each Christmas for a few years) and they live on the mug tree - on display- while the others are in a cupboard. We had the back of the house re-rendered three years ago and I was out at work all day while they were here. Obviously they took the Good Mugs to use.

Two of them still have smudges of concrete adhered to the base of the handle from dirty hands. I nearly cried. My kettle ended up with concrete on the flip-switch too but at least we replaced that after a year or so...

I have my own room now eldest has flown the coop - I’ve painted it sulking room pink with gold trimmings and I bloody LOVE IT!
My dh exhales when he puts his socks on like it’s some kind of great effort - it really bugs me, but I don’t have to hear it now!😁

They really are thick Whitney.

It’s BLINDINGLY obvious

Totally on board with mug hierarchy. When ‘D’H gave the builders top shelf mugs…..

Tell him you want to be on your own for a while.

For years l used to go to bed much earlier than Dh. Like an hour and a half. Now he’s started going earlier than me. I don’t like this new development.

I want to starfish in the bed, but he’s in the way.

Ha! I really should have RTFT. 🤣 Off to find the mug thread….

@EthelTheAardvark

The seriously explosive sneezing. Like a sodding bomb going off.

Oooo, yes. Why do men have to shout when they sneeze? On a bad day, it's followed by 20 minutes of sniffing and snorting. When I handed DH a tissue once, he was mystified.

Hate all these dicusting noises which seem to be a mens thing. And leaving used handkerchiefs around dinnertable. To me it feels like marking the territory.

@BlueFlavour

When he uses my best mug It really really annoys me. I put the crap mugs to the front of the cupboard and the nice ones at the back. I can just about handle him using one of the middle ranking mugs, but when he uses one of the top three I want to snatch it away from him.

Oh yes this.

I have to sit there silently seething because he's drinking out of my favourite mug - but I can't tell him because he'll think I'm a controlling nutter I am a controlling nutter

[quote EarthSight]@MsWalterMitty I was going to get some of those. Do they feel nice to hold?[/quote]
They’re okay!…. The handle is just big enough for two fingers. But they’re nice an solid and don’t slip about when holding it… you know like some feel unstable with one finger?… These don’t

@RampantIvy

If you want to read get a kindle paperwhite. It is a game changer.

This. I’d hate to be without mine now.