Elderly parents on a sofa bed, is it ok?

[Letsgobacktothenineties]

Stressing out a bit as to where to put my parents.
We live abroad and they visit us two-three times per year. They were always in the spare room with a nice, double bed. That’s now going to be our toddler DD’s room. We sold the bed and are currently painting it to get ready.
We only gave her bedroom and ours.
I thought of getting a small sofa bed to put in our bedroom as a sofa and into DD’s room as a sofa bed for them when they come to stay (Dd would sleep with us in our room)
Does this sound ok? They’re late 60’s/early 70’s. Can’t think of any other option.
Have offered them our bedroom before, large room with en-suite and terrace, but mum doesn’t want to because our dog sleeps on our bed 🤷🏻‍♀️She obviously wouldn’t whilst they were here and obviously sheets washed etc
She was disappointed when I said we were selling the large double bed as I have a small child’s single for our Dd and said can she not sleep in the double bed, it was huge and wanted her to have her own bed!
Where would you comfortably put them?

DH and I are immigrants living in a small house so we have similar issue.

We used to have a nice spare room with a comfy double, but we've had 2 children since then and the house is now full. Definitely no room for a spare double.

We bought a camp bed to put up for them. Haven't decided yet if we'll try and squeeze it into the kid's room or just have it in the living room.

To everyone saying they should stay in hotel/air b and b - if they are flying from far away then the flights will be very expensive and a lot of people can't afford to pay for a hotel for a few weeks on top of that. They will probably be really keen to see their DC/DGC and might save up all year just to pay for the flights, and then of course it's not really worth coming for a short time, so the hotel costs become huge. This is why it's so common for immigrants to have their parents descend upon their home for weeks or even months at a time.

@Thewindwhispers No, the sofa bed would be in our room, which is pretty big, then we’d move it to hers as a bed when they come. Wouldn’t want to take up room in hers as it’s smaller, good size but want it filled with nice bits for her

23:09Letsgobacktothenineties

The single beds which change to a double look fairly high up, is that ok for a little one?
Just a bit gutted as got the child’s white one from IKEA I always wanted, can be sold just a pain

You can get bed guards which work well while toddlers are adjusting to their "big" bed

I would not dream of putting any of my family in a hotel ever unlike other posters - it’s not really v welcoming!

Different setups suit different people, though, @BeanStew22. My family would be delighted if you offered to put us up in a hotel/Airbnb, We much prefer my own space to staying with other people! It's so nice having your own bathroom, for example!

Anyway, to the OP's point, I agree with PP's that a trundle bed or a decent sofa bed is the best compromise if they refuse to sleep in your bed. My IL's are staying for 10 days soon and we're putting them in our room...the dog doesn't sleep on the bed, but he's been known to sneak into the room at night. Luckily they're dog lovers!

*our

Was coming on to suggest the IKEA Hemnes day bed. It’s a really useful and well designed bit of furniture.

[quote Letsgobacktothenineties]@Thewindwhispers No, the sofa bed would be in our room, which is pretty big, then we’d move it to hers as a bed when they come. Wouldn’t want to take up room in hers as it’s smaller, good size but want it filled with nice bits for her[/quote]
Oh I see - would you realistically be able to move a sofabed around like that? They’re quite awkward.

Couldn’t you get the expanding single trundle bed and have that in your room to move over instead?

Or just find a good sofa bed. It must be possible. Add a mattress topper if needed.

I would keep your daughters room how you would like it. In a few years when she’s older, you could get a bigger bed for her that’s easier to lend to your parents. But I’d keep it nice for her for now.

Your parents are just going to have to adjust their expectations. You don't have a spare room anymore, it's now your daughter's room. There's no way I'd be taking her bed back!

We have the IKEA hemnes that turns in to a double for dd and she has been in it since she was 5. When we have guests we turn her room In to the guest room and she goes on to a roll out bed in her sisters room. It is high ish but a bet you could put a guard on of you were worried. We have it in grey and she has pink fairy lights and a unicorn bed tent on it...its still quite girly.

Are they really 'elderly. My parents were still camping at a similar age and would have had no issue with sleeping on a sofa bed.

@5foot5 My dad’s more than happy to sleep in there, think he’d probably prefer it! It’s a large room with bathroom attached and balcony/terrace, I’d rather be there if I was a guest 😅
We lock the downstairs child gate when they’re here so our dog isn’t upstairs at night at all. My mum is fussy about dogs (in my opinion) and doesn’t believe they should be allowed on the sofa etc, we do and our dog is

@Cabbagepie No, they’re not elderly really, wasn’t sure how to put it, still fairly fit but not camping fit, I couldn’t see them doing that

My thoughts were possibly putting one similar to this in our room as a sofa (I don’t love it to be fair-the wheels) then taking it next door to the other room and using as a bed for them?

I don't really see a problem with them on a sofa bed at that age unless they have bad joint/back problems. I would pop a very good memory foam topper on to get rid of ridges and make it less hard though. Maybe have a look around for some good toppers?

[quote Letsgobacktothenineties]@Luredbyapomegranate I can’t really just move them 😬they’ve always stayed with us and never mentioned hotels or b & b’s[/quote]
Time for you to mention it then, what with toddler DD no longer a baby and needing her own room, things have changed and your DP need to recognise this.

I wouldn't discount a really good air mattress either.

Or this one, it looks a bit nicer for our room (hoping it would fit ok!)

[quote Letsgobacktothenineties]@Candleabra I’ve offered our room, mum isn’t keen due to our dog, which I don’t get at all[/quote]
Well that's just tough tits. If she doesn't want your bed which you have kindly offered then it's a sofa bed.

@OstrichFeathers

www.ikea.com/ie/en/p/hemnes-day-bed-frame-with-3-drawers-white-90349326/

This is very comfortable I know, I sleep on it when dh is snoring like a warthog. The second part of the bed pulls out to a good sized double.

I was going to suggest the ikea day bed as well! Looks good too and DD would probably like it.

@EthelTheAardvark I suppose because it’s been spacious and fairly bare, enough room for suitcases/all their things on bedside tables etc. It will be filled with DD’s desk, tent, toys, reading corner etc

Before reading I thought that yabu and you should offer your bed but I’ve seen that you have offered and they’ve declined. So I would offer them a sofa bed or give them numbers for nearby accommodation.

But the IKEA one is still a big double bed for Dd? I’ve seen them in friends houses and so like them, but they take up a lot of space, I wanted more room space for her I suppose,

I am in my 50s and fit and well. I personally could not sleep on a sofa bed …my experience is that they are massively uncomfortable and my hips hurt 😞

You could look at foldable wall beds as well as sofa beds. They actually come with nice sturdy frames, so much more comfortable than a sofa bed. They also take up a lot less space, and you could actually use the shelving in the nursery. (Google Murphy beds to get some ideas.) Hauling a heavy sofa-bed back and forth between rooms several times a year sounds like a nightmare tbh.