Elderly parents on a sofa bed, is it ok?

[Letsgobacktothenineties]

Stressing out a bit as to where to put my parents.
We live abroad and they visit us two-three times per year. They were always in the spare room with a nice, double bed. That’s now going to be our toddler DD’s room. We sold the bed and are currently painting it to get ready.
We only gave her bedroom and ours.
I thought of getting a small sofa bed to put in our bedroom as a sofa and into DD’s room as a sofa bed for them when they come to stay (Dd would sleep with us in our room)
Does this sound ok? They’re late 60’s/early 70’s. Can’t think of any other option.
Have offered them our bedroom before, large room with en-suite and terrace, but mum doesn’t want to because our dog sleeps on our bed 🤷🏻‍♀️She obviously wouldn’t whilst they were here and obviously sheets washed etc
She was disappointed when I said we were selling the large double bed as I have a small child’s single for our Dd and said can she not sleep in the double bed, it was huge and wanted her to have her own bed!
Where would you comfortably put them?

When we first got married and did not have much furniture my parents stayed on a futon at our house (I think they were early 60s at the time)
I offered them our bed but they didn't want to kick us out of it. My dad moaned like hell about it and after a little while they started voluntarily booking themselves a B&B instead.
So basically I reckon you can only do what you can do. They have choices of a) sofa bed b) your bed or c) B&B and what they choose is up to them

What's the hatred for sofa beds...???

I think there are high quality comfortable modern ones now, aren't there? I haven't looked much yet, but I also live abroad, and wonder if a high end model with lots of glowing reviews would work for guests from home.

Surely a really good one is basically the same thing as a normal bed?

We simply cannot afford to have a flat with a spare room but I want people to come and stay!

@averythinline It’ll be fine sleeping altogether, we’re v easygoing, trying to be accommodating in every way but now at this point, it’s time for her to have a nice space of her own

2 Styles Metal Bed Frame Day Bed 3ft Single Sofa Guest Bed Black/White New (Style2 Daybed+Trundle, Black) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08RBQSBW3/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_D1G0YH2NKMHFYZEGEEDT?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

As a minimum get your DD a standard UK single or more likely a 90 x 200cm bed. Don't get anything smaller (it's different if you turn a cotbed into a bed). When reading with a child at night it makes so much difference being able to sit with them on a bed, you can't do that in anything smaller. As others have suggested get one with another bed underneath to convert to a double but make sure it fits in the room. Get something with good comfortable mattresses and buy a thick memory foam topper to fit once it's a double (will actually be a superking if 2 90x200 mattresses). You can't live your whole year with 4-6 weeks of parents visits in mind but you can create a lovely room for your DD with some element of change ability. Choose storage carefully, possibly so it can be moved around the room or if you go for something like kallax with pull out cubes you could have a spare set kept flat packed for when parents visit. Take out DDs full cubes and put elsewhere during a visit and use as shelves or with other cubes for parents.

I’d have a standard double in DD’s room. It’ll be useful for you when you’re trying to soothe her to sleep when she’s ill etc too.

If not, a trundle bed would be better than a sofabed.

@demotedreally

I'd get one of those single beds with another one underneath for the second bedroom

I would agree with this. I’d have your child on with you for the visit for next few years

Consider asking your parents what height bed they can get in/out of. I would never have given it a moments thought but my elderly mother needs beds/sofas to be on the high side to get in/out due to hip issues

I would not dream of putting any of my family in a hotel ever unlike other posters - it’s not really v welcoming!

I would get a single bed, with a bed underneath

You then have space for DD but can get the two beds out for your parents, and of course use then when dd starts having friends over

If they don’t like that the choice is your room or a hotel

[quote Letsgobacktothenineties]@TheSilveryTinsellyPussycat God no, sorry, I definitely don’t see them as elderly and neither do they 🙈I wasn’t sure what age it’s classed as 🤷🏻‍♀️It’s so different nowadays[/quote]
No worries, of course What you have to remember that we very late middle aged people are Boomers, and Boomers thought (and think) they are young for ever!

Perhaps I've missed it, but do you know what they themselves think?

Or - if your DD’s room has room for a single and also a sofabed - what about you have two singles in there? Can push together when have guests, but when no guests one is for DD and the other can have cushions and a throw on top and act as a sofa.

Everyone suggesting a hotel etc maybe they can't afford one after paying flights etc

www.ikea.com/ie/en/p/hemnes-day-bed-frame-with-3-drawers-white-90349326/

This is very comfortable I know, I sleep on it when dh is snoring like a warthog. The second part of the bed pulls out to a good sized double.

[quote Letsgobacktothenineties]@Sofasogood1 So you’d say a sofa bed isn’t ok comfort wise for two weeks?[/quote]
Yes I thought I was quite clear?

@TheSilveryTinsellyPussycat Well, my mum I think would just like to keep it the way it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Insist on them having your room

Home Furnishings UK Hf4you Pine Master Chenille Open Sprung Deep Quilted Guest Bed - 3FT Single - Black - Matching Headboard www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01F9930N0/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_i_0CJFKYYEK6FHF8P7RGRV?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

The first link I posted is £155 second is £270 I believe if Amazon delivers to you that's great. If not some of the local furniture shops will have something similar

I think it's just time, as you say, for your daughter to have a room for herself. The two options that you are offering (use your room or sleep on a sofa bed) are both really reasonable, so just offer both those options, if your mum isn't happy, then she could decide to stay elsewhere. She will get used to it .

They’ve always sort of classed it as their room, my dad even leaves his clothes in the wardrobe when he goes home..but now that wardrobe will be changed for Dd

If you google ‘single bed that converts to double’ you can see an article from last year by the Independent which had a selection:

www.independent.co.uk/extras/indybest/house-garden/bedroom/guest-beds-small-spaces-folding-b1830503.html?amp

Its got the ikea bed referred to above. It pulls out and has two mattresses. So one stays on the original bit and the other you drag into the new bed that pulls out, creating a proper double bed. No idea how comfy it would be. But you could put a double duvet over the mattresses as another layer or get a further topper to put down. Or a couple of yoga mats under the mattresses?

It’s also got the metal one that has legs to make it the same height as the original. That looks good too.

We bought the best sofa bed we could find but it was very expensive (around £1700?) and I still wouldn't want to sleep it for two weeks

When our DD was small we had a really good quality sofa bed(still got it) in her room.

However the idea was when guests stayed, usually PILs, they would have our bed and we slept on the sofa bed in DDs room.

I see from your comments that your DPs are not keen on that due to the dog having slept there. Is it worth exploring this aversion further in case it can be something solvable?

Are they worried the fog will try to invade their space while they are there? Are there any allergy issues? Are they concerned about fleas? Do they think it will smell? Maybe if you can get to the bottom of what is worrying them you can lay their fears to rest and have them stay in your room after all

We had a sofa bed for guests for a good few years - one of those ikea ones with wooden slats. It was ok, but the main issue for my parents staying on it as they got older was the height - it’s pretty low, and isn’t really that comfy. So we switched to one of the singles with trundle underneath, that fits side by side and the mattresses zip together into a proper double.

Actually it’s a small single - so doesn’t take up too much space as it’s narrow - and when they’re side by side it becomes a big king size bed - v v comfy. It’s the one John Lewis sell.

It would be v easy to make it into a sofa sitting area for your child most of the time - as long as there was room to expand it out when needed. It’s nice to sit on a sofa or single bed to read stories with cushions. And it can be v handy having an extra bed in your child’s room for nights when they are poorly and you might want to sleep in there with them.

The single beds which change to a double look fairly high up, is that ok for a little one?
Just a bit gutted as got the child’s white one from IKEA I always wanted, can be sold just a pain

@Letsgobacktothenineties

I also worry about the future, once DD’s bedroom is fully decorated with all her bits and toys…will it be weird for them to sleep in there?

Of course not. Why would it be?