To find the school run relentlessly exhausting

[Longcovid21]

I will admit I feel a little under the weather at the moment and the school runs always fall to me (single parent). However I find the school runs absolutely exhausting. Other mums and dads don't look as broken as I feel. From waking up, cajoling to get dressed, recharging bags with packed lunch, fruit, water , getting them off screens which they sneak back on to as soon as my back is turned. Getting them to eat breakfast. Getting them in the car. Nag nag nag. Then rinse and repeat every day. They are 10 and 6 so the older one is a bit more independent but it's still exhausting for me. I work full time but am exhausted before I even start. I can't eat breakfast until they're in school as its too stressful. Also getting myself ready and making sure I look decent. Does anyone actually find the school run manageable or dare I say it enjoyable? What's your secret?

Why on earth has my post been deleted?

I said nothing remotely abusive!

@Sleepingonmyfeet have a lie down, you’re very cranky.

I’m not at all @Benjispruce5 honestly! I just don’t see what is to be gained by pages and pages of telling the OP to be more organised, do it the night before, no screens etc. Tbh, nine pages later it stops being helpful and starts being really bossy and hectoring.

But op asked. This is how a thread works. People view the thread at different times and comment. There a thousands of threads like this. Why are you policing it? You’ve commented, now do something else if it bothers you.

You have had so much good advice already. I get when you mean about changing your mindset though. I have 5 to get out in a morning. 15, 9,7,6,4. 9yr old is autistic and needs 100% attention. 6yr old is our foster child with fetal alcohol syndrome. Mornings were honestly breaking me, especially when I have to be in work 3 days a week. We got brilliant visual routines for our autistic daughter, realised our foster child really responded to them as well so basically introduced for all of them. Teen mostly self sufficient. What really changed things though was me making lunches at night, doing a to do list/time table for the morning and going to bed slightly earlier. I now wake up 40min before them all to have tea in silence /sometimes do yoga/uniforms all in piles etc. When i feel organised and get to start my day alone in peace and quite, it really helps me. I treat it like a military operation and its actually easier now we r on the same routine.

It's also not very helpful for women with a husband to say that they do the school run on their own.

It's not the same (see also telling single parents you feel like one because your husband is a bit of a bellend).

@Benjispruce5

But op asked. This is how a thread works. People view the thread at different times and comment. There a thousands of threads like this. Why are you policing it? You’ve commented, now do something else if it bothers you.

It doesn’t really need saying hundreds of times though.

It’s how a thread works, people reply to it, which is what I’m doing.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I can't believe anyone actually enjoys the school run. It's part of parenthood though so you just have to deal with it. I know that one reason I used to enjoy school holidays when my kids were younger was not having to get up and out the door at a specific time.

Presumably the alternative to the school run would be home schooling?
sounds a lot harder

I only made the single parent comment because someone said that they do the school run on their own. My DH isn’t a ‘bellend’ he just worked longer hours .
Obviously life is tough for single parents, that goes without saying. Although my single parent friend gets alternate weekends and holidays to herself. Something I never had!
The school run is boring but it’s far less stressful if you’re organised. Most every day jobs are mundane. I have to say though that now mine are 21 & 18, I really miss those days of speed ponytails and times tables in the car.

It is a chore. My DH is at work before we get up so it always falls to me, drop off and pickup. I have a toddler and a primary age child. I have to do separate drop offs, go to work and then do pickup after work. Like you say, it's being able to leave the house yourself looking half decent but I always resemble a sweaty troll every morning.

I’m not stalking you. I think this is getting a bit heated when that’s not the intention. My deleted posts () were pointing out pretty gently the same point had been made over and over, and maybe we don’t have to be doing that to support the OP. It’s definitely not supportive to be lecturing her and comparing her to you if your situation is vastly different.

Where did I say I was a single parent? Where did I say I wasn’t a sahm at some point? I also went back to work and was part time for the majority of most of my DC’s school years. You need to brush up your stalking skills when you’ve finished telling everyone else what to do.

I know DH finds it a bit stressful but there are two of us and 1 DC so not hugely comparable. One thing that has helped has been getting DC 3 to get herself dressed. She needs help with pj shirt but will take off trousers and nappy, potty and put in pants and trousers if laid out for her then come upstairs on her own.

My own mum laughed and wouldn’t drive me to school when I missed the bus one day when I was a teenager. I remember being sort of shocked but I never bloody missed the bus again!! A friends’ sister drove us, not sure what we would’ve done otherwise!

Night before organisation. Pcked lunch made in the fridge. Quick breakfast. No screens. TV only. But yes they are stressful. I'm not a single parent but the home jobs fall to me and then I work from home and 4 kids. Dh gets home.late so will still be asleep until before lunch. He works until 2am.

I think DH enjoys the actual walk with DC too, but all he has to do is chat with her about the neighborhood cats etc not homework and she’s always so excited and happy about it that it’s just hilarious. It’s daddy quality time. Probably why she’s always excited to see him and mummy is chopped liver 😂

This is ridiculous. I’m literally being deleted for saying ‘plenty of people have already said that’ and ‘you were a SAHM with a husband.’ I’m genuinely lost as to why that breaks TGs.

Just rule out devices in the morning! With all there is to do, surely they dont need iPad time?! Get them to read instead. Write a list of what they need to each morning and get them to tick off as they go: up, dressed, breakfast, teeth, wash face, brush hair, pack school bag, read school book, shoes, coat, READY. (That’s our order anyway!)

@Sleepingonmyfeet

This is ridiculous. I’m literally being deleted for saying ‘plenty of people have already said that’ and ‘you were a SAHM with a husband.’ I’m genuinely lost as to why that breaks TGs.

I am not sure why you are posting about people being repetitive, it is how threads go. The OP is not being bullied, they are just getting the same thought from lots of people.

Maybe step away from this one if it is doing your head in?

It’s not doing my head in (although the deletions are!) but I really don’t think people realise how stressful it can be when hundreds of people reply to tell you to organise yourself better.

This is ridiculous. I’m literally being deleted for saying ‘plenty of people have already said that’ and ‘you were a SAHM with a husband.’ I’m genuinely lost as to why that breaks TGs

That is bonkers. I have no idea why you have been deleted for that. Perhaps mumsnet can explain?

@Benjispruce5

I only made the single parent comment because someone said that they do the school run on their own. My DH isn’t a ‘bellend’ he just worked longer hours . Obviously life is tough for single parents, that goes without saying. Although my single parent friend gets alternate weekends and holidays to herself. Something I never had! The school run is boring but it’s far less stressful if you’re organised. Most every day jobs are mundane. I have to say though that now mine are 21 & 18, I really miss those days of speed ponytails and times tables in the car.

And millions of single parents are single parents 24/7 all year, every year.

I think you have slightly rose tinted glasses on. I certainly don't miss days of getting younger children to school. It is relentless and boring. Even with teenagers it's pretty relentless and boring but they do at least do them and I do me so I'm not trying to get three people ready.

I am surprised anyone enjoys it but I think doing it when you either don't work or work part time and/or have another adult in the house is a very different kettle of fish.

Maybe have a week school planner on the wall. So you can check what each day requires. Helps if you have certain PE days home work due etc