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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find the school run relentlessly exhausting

327 replies

Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 09:21

I will admit I feel a little under the weather at the moment and the school runs always fall to me (single parent). However I find the school runs absolutely exhausting. Other mums and dads don't look as broken as I feel. From waking up, cajoling to get dressed, recharging bags with packed lunch, fruit, water , getting them off screens which they sneak back on to as soon as my back is turned. Getting them to eat breakfast. Getting them in the car. Nag nag nag. Then rinse and repeat every day. They are 10 and 6 so the older one is a bit more independent but it's still exhausting for me. I work full time but am exhausted before I even start. I can't eat breakfast until they're in school as its too stressful. Also getting myself ready and making sure I look decent. Does anyone actually find the school run manageable or dare I say it enjoyable? What's your secret?

OP posts:
converseandjeans · 17/03/2022 18:49

Get everything ready the night before.

I'm a soft touch & take them drink & toast in bed! So they just chill with their phone until it's time to get dressed.

Lots of countdowns - "we're leaving in 30 mins " "time to get dressed"

It's less stressful now they're at secondary school.

Are you eligible for any free breakfast clubs? Might mean you don't have to worry about getting breakfast down them.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 17/03/2022 18:51

Sadly your alarm needs to be set for 90 minutes before you need to leave the house. So alarm goes
t-90 make cup of tea/coffee slowly wake up. get my clothes out. Make sure have keys, ID purse in my own bag.
t-70 Do exercises , wake kids, lay out their clothes
t-60 Shower, dress
t-50 Make sure DC are up and getting dressed, help as needed
t-40 2nd coffee breakfast for everyone, pack bags, do lunches. Leave by front door
t-20 Upstairs, face wash teeth brush. Jumpers on, hair.
t-5 Downstairs shoes on, coats on, out the door.

Lamaitresse · 17/03/2022 18:52

No screens here at all in the morning. Never have, so they don’t miss it.
I get up half an hour early to get ready, then wake them at 7. DS 15 takes a shower and gets dressed, while I help younger dd.
They eat breakfast while I do lunches.
We’re all in the car by 7.40/45am.
I find having a strict routine the only way forward. Getting out the house at other times can be a nightmare with shouting/tears etc (mostly mine 😁) but the mornings generally run smoothly as they know what’s expected and do it automatically (with a few tiny pushes here & there!)

carefullycourageous · 17/03/2022 18:55

@BlueVixen

I was always amazed that they couldn't get socks on Monday to Friday however seemed to managed fine on Saturdays and Sundays!
Yes, amazing how fast they can get dressed when going out for an icecream or something Grin
SoftwareDev · 17/03/2022 18:58

As others have already said preparation is key.

Also important is a fixed set routine. Depending on the age of your children you may wish to have this as a "visual timetable" for the morning set out on a whiteboard so they can tick off items in order. I used to have one but it's no longer required as it's all now ingrained! It had: make bed, feed fish, shower, brush teeth, put on uniform, put snacks/water bottle in bag and eat breakfast/have drink.

It's also really useful to have similar for evening routine. I'd have homework, set hour for screen time, then a "relax" hour for games/art etc, brush teeth, story time and bed.

blublub · 17/03/2022 19:02

No screens in the week, prep night before/weekend and work part time. Sanity restored.

AuntieJoycesPurpleSlacks · 17/03/2022 19:03

I loved the school run with my eldest but I had twins when he was 5 and now three years later- I LOATHE the school run!!

Twins are not in nursery as no places near us and I hate schlepping everyone there and back. The nagging and chivvying along is draining.

rainbowshows · 17/03/2022 19:06

Single mum and I love the school run but I do only work part time and we walk to school. Also, my dc has school dinners which I think probably takes away a lot of the stress.

Barkingmadhouse · 17/03/2022 19:13

Get up yourself before the kids wake up, get yourself ready and have breakfast then. Pack bags the night before with any cold food in the fridge ready to grab

Mamascoven · 17/03/2022 19:31

I organise as much as I can the night before but with 4 kids aged 7,5,2 & newborn its exhausting.

WTAFhappened123 · 17/03/2022 19:32

Hated everything about the school run, school parents, school parking twits…it’s why I didn’t have anymore kids just could not bear the thought of doing that hideous boring crap again

Packit · 17/03/2022 19:33

I used to love the school run 😁 I’d get my kids up bright and early and set a time when they have to be in the car. They just did it.

I would wash up, clean the fire out, put the bins out, I did all sorts of little jobs before we went.

I would have to drop one child off at one end of the town and then drive to the other end of town to drop the other child off as they went to different schools. It was like driving through Whacky Races 🤣

If I had trouble I would have turned off the Wi-Fi. Mine had school dinners too.

I miss those days !

LampBookPicture · 17/03/2022 19:45

It does sound tough OP but I think they're old enough to talk to about it. Tell them in a calm moment you're struggling in the mornings and ask them what they think you can all do as a team to make things smoother. Your 10 year old in particular is old enough to have some empathy about your situation.

Mandyjack · 17/03/2022 20:04

Preparation is probably the key and if they are on screens remove them the night before and don't let them have them in the morning at all. It must be hard if you are alone and also working full time.

onarollSloth · 17/03/2022 20:11

I feel you. It's the constant cajoling. I don't want to give them stress, about being late as my DS had some issues with school anxiety, so I now try to be encouraging and positive. But when it's to do EVERYTHING it wears thin quickly. There is no sense of urgency in my house and no one can do anything without being asked.

cherish123 · 17/03/2022 20:15

It is certainly exhausting if you have got to get to work.
Maybe these other parents are working from home or not in a hurry.

user1471519931 · 17/03/2022 20:18

It's absolute hell. Luckily I work away 2 days a week so partner has to take over 😁 I feel for you. Free school lunches so no pack lunch thank god

MamaBearBoo · 17/03/2022 20:18

I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old trying to get me ready and the baby then same with getting the 6 year old off her I-pad to eat breakfast, get dressed without dancing around and messing about and getting out of the house on time is draining!!! Plus we walk to school so if it raining we have to spend time with umbrellas and rain cover for the pram etc!! Iff do not get breakfast (which I usually have to share with the baby even tho she's had hers) til we get back unless we have a baby class I have to set off for!!
I feel like I'm nagging all morning too no advice just know you're not alone! I'm not a single parent but husband works from 6.30am-6.30pm all week so I do all school runs!!

Gandalfsthong · 17/03/2022 20:41

They have to get dressed, make beds, eat breakfast, pack bags brush teeth etc. they get a token for each which equates to 5 mins of screen time at weekend.no tv in the morning until all the above is done. Been a game changer for me. They are 7 and 9.

1AngelicFruitCake · 17/03/2022 20:42

I can rarely do the morning school drop off, share drop offs with Dh and on mine it’s the 7:30 breakfast club.
When I do get to do it, although it’s stressful, I always feel like I’ve got loads of time as usually I leave the house at 7:30. I feel like is such a privilege to take them to school because they won’t be this little forever 🙁

Gandalfsthong · 17/03/2022 20:45

Should add that I still hate it, still sometimes goes Pete Tong but it’s been slightly less stressful as I’m also going to work full time and not from home anymore. Good luck OP a 👍🏻

Newbeginnings90 · 17/03/2022 20:59

We have a no screens in the morning rule and it's made the whole thing so much more enjoyable for everyone.

onarollSloth · 17/03/2022 21:03

@Gandalfsthong

They have to get dressed, make beds, eat breakfast, pack bags brush teeth etc. they get a token for each which equates to 5 mins of screen time at weekend.no tv in the morning until all the above is done. Been a game changer for me. They are 7 and 9.
5 minutes screen time or 5 minutes for each thing they do.

I don't do iPads in the mornings, if we are running on schedule we get downstairs and have one episode of whatever is on "milkshake" on TV whilst shoes and coats go on ready to walk to school.

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/03/2022 21:06

I do my best not to do it.

I don’t think it’s at all fun, or a bonding experience..

Octomingo · 17/03/2022 21:19

Is it still the school run if you all leave the house by 715?

Up at 6. Ready for work by 650. All dressed and downstairs by 7. No devices. Bf in cm. But even in earlier years, when the had breakfast at home, it was just run by strict routine and brooking absolutely no fuckery.