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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find the school run relentlessly exhausting

327 replies

Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 09:21

I will admit I feel a little under the weather at the moment and the school runs always fall to me (single parent). However I find the school runs absolutely exhausting. Other mums and dads don't look as broken as I feel. From waking up, cajoling to get dressed, recharging bags with packed lunch, fruit, water , getting them off screens which they sneak back on to as soon as my back is turned. Getting them to eat breakfast. Getting them in the car. Nag nag nag. Then rinse and repeat every day. They are 10 and 6 so the older one is a bit more independent but it's still exhausting for me. I work full time but am exhausted before I even start. I can't eat breakfast until they're in school as its too stressful. Also getting myself ready and making sure I look decent. Does anyone actually find the school run manageable or dare I say it enjoyable? What's your secret?

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 16/03/2022 16:56

@Sleepingonmyfeet

It’s not doing my head in (although the deletions are!) but I really don’t think people realise how stressful it can be when hundreds of people reply to tell you to organise yourself better.
Welcome to Mumsnet! It is always like this, the OP can stop looking if it is causing them to feel stressed.
Sleepingonmyfeet · 16/03/2022 17:01

I’ve been here ages, but thanks Smile I do step in if I think threads are getting a bit pile-on-y.

Benjispruce5 · 16/03/2022 17:02

Sorry Op you really should have said if you only wanted replies from fellow single parents. As far as I can see this thread is full of parents offering tips that have helped them but some single parents aren’t happy about that at all. What else can be offered other than advice? Tips to find a partner? I don’t think so, so all we can really do is empathise and share what helped even if we aren’t really worthy due to our dual parent statuses.Hmm

Clymene · 16/03/2022 17:05

@Benjispruce5

Sorry Op you really should have said if you only wanted replies from fellow single parents. As far as I can see this thread is full of parents offering tips that have helped them but some single parents aren’t happy about that at all. What else can be offered other than advice? Tips to find a partner? I don’t think so, so all we can really do is empathise and share what helped even if we aren’t really worthy due to our dual parent statuses.Hmm
I didn't say that. Confused But telling someone who is finding it horrible and stressful that you rather miss it and look back on it fondly when you have never worked full time and done the school run is a bit rich!
Benjispruce5 · 16/03/2022 17:07

I did work full time. I’m trying to give op some perspective because in the daily grind we forget this won’t last forever and your children will be gone so try not to hate it. What do you want a bloody medal or something?Biscuit Have a biscuit Biscuit

Sleepingonmyfeet · 16/03/2022 17:08

Be fair benji, that’s only after nine pages of people saying, do it the night before and ban screens. No one’s saying don’t say it.

Benjispruce5 · 16/03/2022 17:09

I give up.

FilthyforFirth · 16/03/2022 17:11

DS1 is in reception. I have been on mn for years and the way people go on about the school run on here I was genuinely dreading it. Done it since Sept and I dont hate it at all.

I am friendly and an extrovert so happy chatting to everyone. He goes to a lovely village infants, so far all parents are nice and there is a lovely atmosphere in the playground at drop off and pick up.

I do find the mornings a bit stressful inthe house. I also have a 1yo who needs to get to nursery. But once we are out the door its fine.

I dont mean to sound smug. Is it the type of school/other parents/ age of kids that make drop off hell for others? Perhaps I have it all to come!

FilthyforFirth · 16/03/2022 17:14

Ah. I only read the first page before commenting. Seems I have missed a lot. Not a single parent so perhaps I shouldnt have replied.. Apologies!

Anonymous48 · 16/03/2022 17:18

@FilthyforFirth

DS1 is in reception. I have been on mn for years and the way people go on about the school run on here I was genuinely dreading it. Done it since Sept and I dont hate it at all.

I am friendly and an extrovert so happy chatting to everyone. He goes to a lovely village infants, so far all parents are nice and there is a lovely atmosphere in the playground at drop off and pick up.

I do find the mornings a bit stressful inthe house. I also have a 1yo who needs to get to nursery. But once we are out the door its fine.

I dont mean to sound smug. Is it the type of school/other parents/ age of kids that make drop off hell for others? Perhaps I have it all to come!

For me (my kids are grown now) it was just making sure everyone was ready to leave by a certain time. That time varied but it was usually around 7am, so didn't leave much wiggle room. And the other thing is that doing the same drive twice a day can get pretty tedious. (My kids went to different schools, both quite a few miles away in different directions.) Compared to, say, the sleepless nights when you have a newborn, or dealing with a strong-willed two year old, it's a walk in the park. But it still would get wearing.
Sleepingonmyfeet · 16/03/2022 17:20

@FilthyforFirth

Ah. I only read the first page before commenting. Seems I have missed a lot. Not a single parent so perhaps I shouldnt have replied.. Apologies!
Neither am I, but I can appreciate it’s harder than for parents in couples.
Original poster
Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 17:23

We got brilliant visual routines for our autistic daughter, realised our foster child really responded to them as well so basically introduced for all of them.

This is a brilliant idea. One of the DC has hearing loss so this may really help.

No, replies from anyone. Not just single parents. Though to reiterate, I am pretty organised so that's not the main issue. Though some good tips on how to refine it upthread.

OP posts:
Original poster
Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 17:26

I do wonder if I have ADHD traits as routine feels really crippling and uninspiring. That probably sounds like quite an exaggeration but it's true.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 16/03/2022 17:39

Join us in the neurodivergent Mumsnet ers section Wink

Original poster
Longcovid21 · 16/03/2022 17:42

@BertieBotts never been diagnosed but I will, thank you.

OP posts:
ChangeNameagain2 · 16/03/2022 18:27

longcovid if it helps we got them from autism ni website. Lots of different styles and I laminated and personalised them so each on has one. I put velcro on the back and attached an envelope so the put the parts in as the go.

Clymene · 16/03/2022 18:34

@Benjispruce5

I did work full time. I’m trying to give op some perspective because in the daily grind we forget this won’t last forever and your children will be gone so try not to hate it. What do you want a bloody medal or something?Biscuit Have a biscuit Biscuit
Yes I would like a medal and a biscuit! Thank you Grin
LadyPropane · 17/03/2022 03:06

Not going to give advice because you've already had loads and, frankly, I'm in no position to be giving advice on this because I struggle with it too!

Just a bit of solidarity. I'm really surprised that some PPs have said the enjoy the school run. I've never encountered this in real life. I thought we all struggled through it!

BlueSpeckledEgg · 17/03/2022 09:47

I didn’t find it such a struggle when I worked part time and wasn’t divorced. It’s the relentless organisation and rinse and repeat that I hated!!

3Daddy31982 · 17/03/2022 10:22

Get everything ready the night before. It won't last forever

3Daddy31982 · 17/03/2022 10:23

Ps it's nearly Easter!

Celestine70 · 17/03/2022 17:35

No screens in the morning. Do sandwiches at night. Put clothes out at night. Clean teeth and get dressed before they come for breakfast.

OhFFSMum · 17/03/2022 17:36

No advice but could have wrote this myself. Like groundhog day, every morning a struggle and fight, chaos, mess, arguing and STRESS. I only work 3 days a week but dream of being able to hire a nanny to do the school stuff every morning cos I HATE IT. Gonna read though everyone's suggestions as it's getting me down so much too!!! Mine are 2, 4 and 14. 14 year old does help but begrudgingly and tries to escape to my mums multiple nights per week to escape it too

MrsLighthouse · 17/03/2022 17:38

4 kids …have ALWAYS hated the school run….mornings are the worst. So so happy when they got to the age to go and come home alone ! I sympathise but it’s not forever .

WilsonMilson · 17/03/2022 17:45

It’s the car journey for me, it just takes up so much of the day.
DS is older now and is no problem getting organised, but it’s a 40-50 minute round trip twice a day (it’s a good school, so worth it) and it wears you down after a while. It’s not as though I get much chat either - typical teen. Listening to an audiobook on the way back has helped break the tedium.