To be annoyed with vegan friend

[WheresTheJustice2]

I tend to be sympathetic to her and order meat free dishes when we’re out together.

However we were recently at a wedding together and I hadn’t ticked the vegan dietary request on the invitation so was served the meat dish.

All throughout the meal, my friend kept commenting about my meal saying things like “I don’t know how you can eat that. Even just looking at it makes me want to throw up.”

I just kept eating and told her I forgot to tick the vegan request. But she kept on and on until I snapped and told her that I respected her choice to be vegan but I wasn’t.

Was I being unreasonable?

I nearly always have steak when I am out, but if I go to a restaurant that has both a meat menu and a proper vegan menu, I will have the vegan meal as I really like vegan dishes when there is a good choice, because they are usually very imaginative and tasty. Whereas if I am at a normal restaurant, the vegetarian or vegan choice is usually only one or two dishes, and they nearly always have mushrooms in them - which I hate.

OP, it is very good of you to normally choose vegan food when you are out with your friend, but at the wedding there will presumably been several people at one table, so it shouldn't matter to her whatever you have on your plate, as most of the other people at the table will probably have meat containing dishes too.
Your friend was being very unreasonable, not you. If you do eat out with her again in the future please just have whatever you fancy 💐

This is why people get annoyed with vegans!
Your friend is very rude & immature.
YANBU.

Your friend needs to get a grip.

@Momijin

It is so hard when you're vegan for the animals and for the planet and having watched animals being tortured and murdered to be sympathetic about jane smith liking her steak and just needing to eat some cheese. Or just needing to have an egg (which means absolute vile torture to even free range chicken).

Tbh I wish vegans around me had been less indulgent and shown me the torture and murder that I was eating. Plant based is absolutely delicious and not missing out at all. So much more tastier and so much more healthier

Don't eat out with non vegans then problem solved.

Won't be hard any more.

Everyone in life has a choice, she chose to be vegan you didn’t. If she can’t accept that then she isn’t your friend .
She is being selfish.

She’s the unreasonable one but you do sound like a bit of a people pleaser op. What does she do to accommodate you or is it a one way street?

Because I know it will upset her and she will think I’m being insensitive and less of a friend knowing how she feels about meat.

I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and I would be appalled if one of my friends thought this. It suggests your friend is rather egocentric and you've done nothing to disabuse of that of that notion. Stop pandering and eat what you like, your diet is none of your friends business.

Why were you expected to eat vegan at a wedding snd none of the other guests were?

Why are you singled out?

Im confused?

I cook meat and dairy for my kids because they're not vegan. I'm not militant. But we're not made aware enough of the issues behind animal consumption.

We also don't realise how easy and delicious it is to be vegan because we haven't been raised that way. I really wish I had been made aware many years ago.

I don't tell people what to eat but i do share recipes and make vegan food for my friends and they have all loved it and asked for the recipes. They have all also been really surprised. It hasn't turned anyone into a vegan yet, but I hope it has opened their mind to it.

People are very suspicious and take offense to vegan products. But I think if you can replace meat products with vegan versions then surely that is better for everyone ? Your health, the environment, the animals.

I must say that I very rarely use fake meat as I cook with veg, nuts, pulses, herbs, spices and have managed to veganise all my favourite meals. The fake meat seems to be mostly for 'beginner' vegans or people who want a direct replacement of what they are used to eating.

People are very suspicious and take offense to vegan products.

Is it possible that people are taking offence at you, rather than veganism in general? You do seem to offer it quite freely.

No op your not unreasonable, I have plenty of vegetarian/ vegan friends and nobody has ever batted a eyelid that I eat meat at a restaurant.

Oh God, I had a froend like that once.

Plus she didn’t drink so anytime we went out not only would she sneer at my food but she would also do a running commentary on how bad alcohol was, did I know what I was doing to my body.

I drank more just to get through an evening with her.

Crunch point came when we went to a festival together. She wouldn’t eat from hardly any food stalls. If I fancied something from a chinese food stall, it would be “what about the MSG!” in a horrified voice.

The end of our friendship was when I wanted to get another pint before Red Hot Chilli Peppers went on stage and she said, “no, how about we get a nice cup of tea and sit at the back to watch them instead.”

We were 27. Fuck off.

She was extremely rude. I often eat vegan or veggie anyway just out of preference, but if I had a meat dish, nearly all of the people I know who are vegan wouldn't dream of saying stuff like that.
There is one person who would say/has said stuff like that, which I've always found rude and judgemental. But she's moved away from my city now, so it's not coming up any more

I've been vegetarian for 30 years and went to a steakhouse for my dad's birthday because that's what he wanted. Checked the menu before I went, made sure there was something suitable for me and didn't comment once about what he ate.

I hate when people comment on my vegetarianism so why should I want to comment on what other people eat?

YANBU and I’d say you’ve been far too lenient in the past always ordering vegan when you eat out with her. Just eat whatever you want.

Your biggest mistake was pandering to her in the first place by ordering vegan meals. Why does she get to order her meal of choice but you don’t? Is she more important than you? You’re certainly making her feel more important and superior. Tbh, she doesn’t sound like a true friend but if you do ever go out to eat, order exactly what you want and if it’s meat then she can like it or lump it.

We had a work restaurant (well, canteen) and a new loudly vegan employee looked at my roast dinner lunch (I was pregnant so eating for ten) and cried, “Ugh, you’re making me sick!” and walked out.

YANBU. I have been vegan for many years and wouldn’t dream of behaving like this. Your friend is very rude and actually does other vegans a disservice. People don’t feel inspired to be vegan themselves by someone judging and attacking them. This is one of the reasons why vegans get given a bad name. Most of us are lovely but some are are not.

She sounds hard work and I’d be reducing contact. I mean you walk on eggshells so as to not upset this princess - and then she stamps her feet anyway. Fucking hell, I just wouldn’t bother.

My god, not eating meat in front of my vegetarian friends has never even entered my head!! Probably because they aren't dicks!