To think this is an unacceptable text to send to a child?

[skeeshgal]

My DD is 11, she has her own phone which I check regularly. Tonight I was going through her text messages and one of her cousin's friends who is 8 had text my DD last night. This particular friend is 'best friends' with my niece (DD's cousin) and they have had some falling outs as of late so my DD isn't particularly keen of her. The text exchange went as this -

Niece friend (8) - hi
DD (11) - stop you made my cousin cry so I don't want to talk to you thanks.
Niece friends mum (bloody 30 odd) - This is ** mum, my DD didn't mean to send you that. Deleting and blocking your number now.

I am absolutely fuming, my DD was polite enough - gave the girl a reason she didn't want to speak and said thank you. She is fair enough to say that. I am disgusted that a mum thinks she should insert herself into children's texts like that. Being rude towards an 11 year old. Utterly pathetic.

AIBU??

There is a BIG difference between an 11 year old and an 8 year old. Your daughter was rude.

The child's mother stepped in, acted appropriately, was NOT rude and actually respected your daughters wishes by her not wanting to talk to her 8 year old and deleted and blocked her number.

So BRAVO 8 year old's mother, you and your daughter seem to be cut from the same cloth.

So in other words you are YABVU x 1 million.

Bit off for an 11 year old to have a go at an 8 year old over text. Totally unnecessary and she didn’t need to get involved at all. I think the mother is protecting her child from potty argument with an older child.

Potentially not potty

Potential

@Benjispruce5

No! Potty argument is perfect!

I take that as 'I am making sure my dd can no longer contact you' because that's what your dd said she wanted.

This is how I read it too. More of an apology than rudeness. Making sure her DD could not bother yours again.

Your dd thought she was King of the Hill saying that to an eight year old and she was rumbled by the mother. I bet she was embarrassed as she didn't expect an adult to see her message.

YABU.

But also, you read all your daughter’s messages??? She’s 11 and presumably in secondary school, bit creepy.

@shadesofwinter

I don't read that as rude. The mother said it was a mistake and that she was blocking the number so her DD couldn't message again 🤷‍♀️

This is exactly how I would have read it too.

@skeeshgal

Why did she need to say to an 11 year old that she was deleting and blocking her number? Why not just do it if not to cause upset?

Why was your dd upset by this when she'd made it clear to the eight year old that she did not want her talking to her?

Your daughter was rude. That’s ok- she’s only 11, you need to talk to her about how to speak to people more politely though, especially when they’re so much younger than her. No one else has done anything wrong here.

@skeeshgal

My daughter is 11. This woman is 30 odd. That's my point. Big difference

Quite a big difference bw 8 and 11 also. Let's face it, your dd didnt have to answer the child's text at all. Anyway, she didnt want to talk to her and now the issue has gone away.

The 8 year old’s mum was being a responsible parent. They shouldn’t have phones at that age to begin with.

I think your daughter was rude. She shouldn't be getting herself involved in fall outs between others that are nothing to do with her

Sorry, I just don’t see the problem. She was informing your dd that the number would be deleted and blocked presumably so she would t get any more messages. This is a complete non issue.

Aibu?…. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yea, yes, yes, yes.

Ainbu?…. No

OP: But, but, but, but….. See! Told you I wasn’t U

An 8 year old shouldn’t have a phone anyway as they are no where near mature enough to handle a conversation with an 11 year old nearly secondary age kid.

I don’t think your DD was rude but I don’t think that Mum was rude either. I would see it as Mum controls her daughter’s phone conversations to make sure that she only contacts certain people. The girl wasn’t supposed to message your DD, your DD didn’t want to talk to the girl so her mum deleted and blocked your DD’s number so they won’t contact in the future and texted your DD about this.

I think the mother was just closing the conversation down. I agree she should have just said ‘oh that was a mistake’ and blocked and deleted without telling your daughter that - but I think you are misinterpreting a bit of factual info as an insult.

Lots of people are telling you the same, so please hear that, calm down, and don’t encourage your daughter to be upset about it.

I would be upset as a parent if I had read your dds message regardless of what had happened it is a bit blunt and unkind and would make me cross as a parent. I wouldn't reply though but might block the number. And she is doing the right thing (as are you) regularly checking messages at that age

The only one who was rude here was the 11 yr old.
Thankfully the other mother took action before the rude child escalated.
Much better than an argument via text with has the potential to get waaaay out of hand, especially with that small, but significant, age difference between children.

Storm in the proverbial teacup.

Op, I think you’ve got it wrong, it’s not about the thirty odd year old it’s about the 11 year old and the eight year old. The mother did right. Her daughter shouldn’t have texted yours and she shut it down. The child is eight. It’s obviously upset her and her parent needed to step in. Try to think about it from the little eight year olds side. She matters, right?