To be in pieces over the death of my dog?

[aibusux2u]

We knew the time was coming. She was 15, and had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer earlier this year. We were fortunate really because we had over a month to make a real fuss of her and give her lots of extra treats and attention. We had to have her PTS on Sunday, but we were lucky as she was still full of beans until 36 hours beforehand, and even in the last bit of time she did not seem distressed or in too much pain, just very tired and weak.

But my husband and I are in pieces. I keep picturing how I held her head as she passed. I was the last thing she saw and although I made sure I smiled, the tears were flowing too and I hope that didn't scare her. My husband was holding her too and he said she was calm but I feel guilty for letting some tears escape while she was still with us.

And now everywhere feels so empty. We donated her bed and everything to the animal rescue centre yesterday. The house feels all wrong without her. She was such a huge part of our lives for such a long time. I keep thinking I hear her walking around or barking, and expecting her to come trotting up behind me when I prepare meals.

Everything just feels like the joy has been sucked out and there is no point in anything. Which is crazy as there is so much worse going on in the world, and we're blessed to have our children (who seem remarkably unfazed by all this), and she was "just a dog".

Any tips for getting past this? When does it get easier? I did not expect it to hit so hard.

Sounds completely normal to me. It’s grief just like you’d feel for any other important ‘person’ in your life.

You saw your dog every day and dogs and humans have very close bonds. Be gentle on yourself.

We had our lovely old Border Collie put to sleep at the end of January. It was the hardest journey ever taking her to the vet for the last time. We didn't come home to an empty house as we had a second dog but seeing him sniffing around the house and barking to see if she would answer was an added heartbreak. We still miss us terribly .to you. Dogs are so special and they love unconditionally...

They are NEVER ‘just a dog’.
I loved my dog more than all most people.

I've been thinking about my dog and how this obviously will happen for us too. I pre empt my utter devastation and completely empathise with the op.
Dogs just love us so much don't they and that's what hurts so much.

I'm so sorry for your loss but don't forget the lovely life you gave him and the peaceful death. You are good and loving human being x

I am so so sorry

@Horsemad

😭 just read that verse, *@Furries*.

Sorry - it’s definitely sad, but comforting at the same time. It truly is the greatest act of love that we can do for our beloved companions.

There is one other verse that I like (though also makes me cry). I Stood By Your Bed Tonight. I’m not religious at all, but deep down I want to believe that the rainbow bridge exists - I would be happy if I end up where all the animals are.

Our dog died last June and I don't think I will ever get over it. He was put to sleep at the age of 16, he deteriorated very quickly which makes it harder to come to terms with, and I still feel guilty now about whether we could have or should have done more for him. But deep down I know it was his time to go. my husband was with him when he died as I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with being there.

Its so hard, I cry most days about his loss and I don't think I will ever be able to get another dog knowing that the same thing will happen again.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I'm crying reading this, I've recently discovered a lump under my 11 year old Staffie-Cross's chin and I'm terrified she's ill and will die. She came along at a really difficult point I my life and has been such a help to me, a crutch and emotional therapy. I cantbegin to imagine what you are going through, but I feel like my daughter, my dog and my souls will bond together once we die.
I guess I'm saying that you are in no way silly or wrong in feeling how you do, but take comfort that your happy gorgeous girl lived a long and happy life and knew she was loved even at the end. She will have seen past your tears and felt reassured and loved and comforted and I firmly believe she will still be with you, you were so tightly bonded with her.

So sad, the loss is huge.
I'm sorry.

I’m so sorry OP. We were devastated by the loss of our dog. I was even crying this morning about it all. In my experience it takes many months to feel less raw about it.

But my husband and I are in pieces. I keep picturing how I held her head as she passed. I was the last thing she saw and although I made sure I smiled, the tears were flowing too and I hope that didn't scare her. My husband was holding her too and he said she was calm but I feel guilty for letting some tears escape while she was still with us

I kept getting flashbacks to this. I think I had a bit of ptsd. I'd never had to pts before.

They give them sedatives etc so she probably wouldn't have noticed you crying.

I keep thinking I hear her walking around or barking, and expecting her to come trotting up behind me when I prepare meals.

I had this for months. We took in another dog before ours passed so the house wasn't empty but the two dogs were very different sizes so I kept 'seeing/feeling' her. It took a good while to pass.

I hope you are doing OK op 💐

I'm so sorry, it is very hard and non-animal people don't always understand. I lost my girl at 17 nearly 6 years ago and still shed tears over her. She really was my "heart" dog and such a sweet, gentle soul. The first two months were very hard and I was a bit of a mess. Eventually you remember the lovely memories you had and it does get easier. You'll know you feel better when you look at photos and videos and you smile instead of crying.

By the way, I wanted to remain calm when the time came, but I was in absolute bits and yeah, I still feel bad about that, but I just couldn't help it. I'd like to think she'd have understood. Bugger, I'm tearing up again. Just give yourself time to grieve.

My boy went at the end of January and I'm still upset about it, getting less frequent. But I'm haunted by those last few minutes too (you described in your first post) as he jumped up - I think putting the canula in had hurt, so when she came near it. I felt terrible. I know it was the right decision but still. DH was away with work so we took lots of video in the last few days and I'm so glad. As time passes I can see more clearly how frail he was in the end.

He was a rescued border collie who had a rotten start in life - he had bite marks on his face and was scared of sticks. He had 11 good years with us, a special soul.

I know this is almost 2 years old but posting here in hope someone will get a notification and reassure about my darling boy I had to have put to sleep last night. He was my family dog as a teenager. He was my best friend and always with me, he got me through some hard times also. Always by my side. I got married and moved out the home but always came to walk him before work in the mornings and often visited. Would still take him for long weekend walks and sit with him and cuddle and play, and even little holidays.

He was in a lot of pain for a lot of time. We tried everything. Vets suggested putting him to sleep 4 years ago as he was too frail to survive an operation he needed. He survived it but always had problems. He got a cancer a huge tumor, aswell as heart failure and kidney failure. He swelled up 5x the size. This had happend less intense previoislt and tablets helped. This time they didn't. He became less interested in food and walks. The last days he could bearly make it up the road. He would no longer come to greet you on arrival just stay in his spot and wag the tail. He couldn't get comfortable and just sat up shallow breathing and shaking. It was hard to make the decision. He's a little terrier he didn't want to go I don't think. He tried to bite the vet, but that was him, there was not a soul on earth allowed to touch them front paws so he went out in full jack russell character, which in a way is a joy to see but also torture should we not have done it. He was weeks away from death at the most. Vets (we had 3 second opinions on it) all said the same he will drown in his own fluid and it will be traumatic so we had too. We all agreed. I know he wanted to leave that room last night, I know he didn't want the vet doing it so I feel intesnly guilty but I also know he had days/weeks max left and no quality of life. He was sedated before the injection we spoke to him as he fell asleep and kissed him. I carried his body all the way home and we buried him in my garden. I love him so so much and I am truly broken. I know it was right but I worry for him, I hope he's at peace and out of pain. I hope he is safe wherever he is and knows how much he is loved by us all. The pain is just as intense as losing family members. Rest in peace my darling boy and best friend. Thank you for the comfort and the memories, if I could have kept you with me forever I would have. I will never forget you and will love and miss you till my dying day. I love you angel xxx

@miamiamia869 I'm so sorry for your loss. It's like losing a family member. It is perfectly natural to be heartbroken. It sounds like you had no real choice and now there is no more pain.

Like with any bereavement the grief will fade. We are 2 years down the line. We still miss our boy but we can see photos of him (constantly popping up) without wanting to cry.

Take your time. Big hug from us.

@miamiamia869 grief really is physically painful, isn’t it? I am so sorry for the loss of your dog…I still get teary thinking about my childhood dog who died decades ago. He sounds like he was a big character so keep talking about him and all his Jack Russell adventures! And take lots of care of yourself 💐

@miamiamia869 I’m so sorry to hear about your lovely dog. We lost our boy just before Christmas, it still feels so raw.

If you’d like, come and join us on the support thread on the doghouse board. Lots of very supportive posters who’ve recently been through this.

She wasn’t just a dog - she was yours and you adored her. It takes a long time to accept it had to happen and you have to hang on to the lovely memories you have of her.
I feel so sorry for your loss 💕💕

I don’t really have any useful advice OP, but I just wanted to say I’m so sorry for the loss of your doggo.. and I would be feeling exactly the same 💐💗

No such thing as just a dog. She was family op. Im so sorry for your loss xx

I am sorry. The feelings when your dog dies are so strong and sad.
You did your best, and the dog had a good life, that is a good memory to hold onto.

It’s a devastating loss. It will get easier OP, but it takes time, take it easy, so sorry for the loss.

Thank you so so much for your kind words everyone. It really helped to just write it all down here and know people feel and have felt the same. Sorry for your losses and your very recent loss @Work2live . I will come join the board and have a read through. Thank you all so much xx

my dog was pts almost 10 years ago now and I still cry occasionally, especially when I think about the last few minutes. It does get easier but it still hurts to think about. It took me 7 years to get to the point of considering another dog.

@Nw22 oh I'm so sorry. It's so hard isn't we. We never forget. I still feel the same over my childhood dog who died years ago. Still have photos and still has his collar. My jacks lead and collar is on my bedside table for now. When the time is right it wil go in the same box under My bed with his x