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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is clearly unreasonable but what do I do now?

240 replies

Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 08:18

DS has a problem with his ear, we’ve been to the GP and it hasn’t resolved.

I’ve managed to get a hospital appointment but it’s some 45 minutes away, with hindsight I know what work are like about time off and I should have called in sick. But I thought because it was health related and for a young child I’d be granted the time off.

They have said no, it’s a school. They just keep saying to rearrange in holiday time or after school.

I think if I lie it could be a disciplinary - I feel so conflicted.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 15/03/2022 08:19

Can anyone else take him?

Guavaf1sh · 15/03/2022 08:20

Can you take annual leave for now and sort it later?

SuperAsymmetry · 15/03/2022 08:20

I think now you've asked and they've said no it will be obvious if you're off that day.
All you can do is rearrange it or get someone else to take him?

Sarahcoggles · 15/03/2022 08:20

Can it be rearranged for after school?
Can someone else take him?

FelicityPike · 15/03/2022 08:30

@Guavaf1sh

Can you take annual leave for now and sort it later?
Annual leave doesn’t work like that in a school.
Overthebow · 15/03/2022 08:31

Can you ask for unpaid parental leave? Otherwise can someone else take him?

BaronessBomburst · 15/03/2022 08:32

Rearrange the appointment, then phone in sick for the second one.
On the other hand, if you're a teacher, how easily can you get another job?

FairyCakeWings · 15/03/2022 08:36

Have you tried to rearrange the appointment for half term or holidays? It’s worth a try first, as long as it wouldn’t mean a much longer wait.

If you’ve tried that and there’s no way it can be rearranged, and there’s a good reason why his Dad can’t take him, go back to your head and be honest.

girlmom21 · 15/03/2022 08:43

Are you in a union? Speak to your rep as there are just some things that need to be dealt with urgently.

Imagine if the school told a parent their child was ill and they needed to be seen at hospital and the parent said "oh I'll deal with it in the holidays"? There'd be a SS report for neglect!

MrsMinge · 15/03/2022 09:19

Offer to take it unpaid if you haven't already. You can't mess around with hospital appointments, especially in this day and age

CantStandMeCow · 15/03/2022 09:21

Unpaid leave is usually by request to the governors. Annual leave doesn’t work like that in schools - it’s holidays only. Usually a head would be quite good about minimal emergency leave - are they usually like this?

MrsMinge · 15/03/2022 09:27

Our Head could authorise unpaid leave @CantStandMeCow. Have you asked for leave/unpaid leave on several occasions @Flexibilityofapavingslab or is this a one off?

Chloemol · 15/03/2022 09:29

I find it awful that a school would consider it acceptable that a child remains in pain, difficulty or whatever because of a ear problem for far longer than necessary

Do they also not realise it’s not as simple as just changing an appointment, you may have to wait months again

I would go to the head and tell them they are being unreasonable to expect a child to remain ill far longer than necessary

They should allow parental leave for this, they are not being a good employer

CantStandMeCow · 15/03/2022 09:42

@MrsMinge True I just think it sounds like this is the kind of head who would insist they need to defer to govs.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 15/03/2022 09:45

God I’d be fuming! I’m not sure what you can do in the short term but I’d probably start looking for another job. I hate this whole attitude that a school will fall apart if a member of staff needs a day off crap. It’s not ideal but I think after all that’s happened with covid we can see that the world does indeed keep turning when people can’t get into work!

Foolsrule · 15/03/2022 09:58

Take your child to the appt.

Canigooutyet · 15/03/2022 10:03

Which form did you fill in for the request?
How many days off had you had off already?

RiaG91 · 15/03/2022 10:05

I would be informing your employer that you've been waiting for this appointment to come through and it cannot be rearranged as it is important. They should appreciate that it is for your child's health and that should be the end of it.

There is no way that I would put my employer first over any form of health appointment - even myself.

Children's ears are so delicate too. The longer the issue is left, the higher the chance that it could get worse or cause something more serious (such as hearing loss).

MaizeAmaze · 15/03/2022 10:14

I'm off this morning (school support staff), paid I think, as my son has a hospital appointment.
If your head is particularly unaccomadating, it might be worth looking for a new school.
FWIW, I spoke to the head first, and explained DH had done the previous appointments, but couldn't do today, and she was OK about it.

Rearrange hospital apointment? The urgent referral from the optician took 4 months.....

arethereanyleftatall · 15/03/2022 10:19

It isn't 'clearly unreasonable' though is it? There are other options available - out of school hours which there's loads of, the father, a grandparent.

Original poster
Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 10:28

Thanks. I’ve actually had quite a lot of time off but it’s because I’ve had covid twice. So had to isolate.

If I rearrange I’ll be waiting another 2 weeks and reluctant to do that really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 10:28

@arethereanyleftatall

It isn't 'clearly unreasonable' though is it? There are other options available - out of school hours which there's loads of, the father, a grandparent.
The problem is there’s no one else to take him, no grandparents who can help and although I don’t mind waiting out of school hours the length of time means this is pressing.
OP posts:
vivainsomnia · 15/03/2022 10:31

If I rearrange I’ll be waiting another 2 weeks and reluctant to do that really
Have you called them to ask? I work FT and when I got appointments during the day for the kids, I explained the situation and 9 times out of 10, they were able to give me at an appointment at the end of the day instead.

Original poster
Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 10:34

It is at the end of the day but because it takes a while to get there I’d need to leave about 30 mins early.

OP posts:
Notanotherwindow · 15/03/2022 10:45

I'd just call in sick. They cant prove that you arent sick really can they? In fact I'd be inclined to come down with another unfortunate case of covid a few days earlier and make a week of it since they've they've been so helpful.

If they discipline you just ask them if they would rather you came in with covid and spread it?