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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is clearly unreasonable but what do I do now?

240 replies

Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 08:18

DS has a problem with his ear, we’ve been to the GP and it hasn’t resolved.

I’ve managed to get a hospital appointment but it’s some 45 minutes away, with hindsight I know what work are like about time off and I should have called in sick. But I thought because it was health related and for a young child I’d be granted the time off.

They have said no, it’s a school. They just keep saying to rearrange in holiday time or after school.

I think if I lie it could be a disciplinary - I feel so conflicted.

OP posts:
DetailMouse · 16/03/2022 21:59

They won't let you leave 30 mins early for a DC hospital appointment when you don't even need cover?

I'd raise a complaint with governors and be ready to resign over it.

I'm school SLT and we would definitely agree this.

raspberryjamchicken · 16/03/2022 21:59

Have you actually seen the wording of the policy? Mine (also school) says doctors and dentists appointments should be made outside school if at all possible. There is flexibility around emergency appointments and hospital appointments. Are you in a Union because I would honestly check the school's policy with them if they do not allow time off for hospital appointments for which there is no flexibility to be able to attend. Some hospitals do not provide appointments outside of school hours. At the very least, the school should provide you with unpaid leave. What if you or your child had cancer or something and they were refusing to allow your to attend hospital appointments?

raspberryjamchicken · 16/03/2022 22:00

My school have been known to phone hospitals direct to ask them to change appointments!

Really? I hope the hospital staff told them where to go.

raspberryjamchicken · 16/03/2022 22:01

DH and I are both teachers so there would be no possibility of either of us using holiday days in this situation.

DetailMouse · 16/03/2022 22:03

So, if you run a small business you rely on your staff and one being off without notice can seriously damage it. Obviously she should take it as holiday. I can see that you have never had your own business.

It's 30 minutes, they were given notice and no cover is needed.

raspberryjamchicken · 16/03/2022 22:07

Plus teachers can't take holiday!

FiremanSid · 16/03/2022 22:07

I would be considering asking for a drs note for a week's sick leave due to work related stress.

Foodie68 · 16/03/2022 22:08

You have the right to unpaid parental leave if you meet the Eligibility criteria

www.gov.uk/parental-leave

I think asking to leave 30 minutes early shouldn’t require unpaid leave personally and they are being very unreasonable

DetailMouse · 16/03/2022 22:09

@FiremanSid

I would be considering asking for a drs note for a week's sick leave due to work related stress.
Yes, good idea
dipdye · 16/03/2022 22:18

You live and learn eh, next time just call in sick!

The honest are always penalised

Mirw · 16/03/2022 22:26

So play the game and take annual leave. That is fair if you are running up sick leave. Surely your child's health is worth a leave day?

Puffalicious · 16/03/2022 22:30

@Mirw

So play the game and take annual leave. That is fair if you are running up sick leave. Surely your child's health is worth a leave day?
FFS read the thread. We can't take annual leave!!!
telvg · 16/03/2022 22:35

This is appalling. Do you have a governing body? Or what about compassionate leave? Or offer to work hours in return? Or contact your union.

MoFro · 16/03/2022 22:37

@Flexibilityofapavingslab can you get a friend to
call you to say they’ve been looking after your DS that day and he’s in pain and needs to be collected?

Teachers are parents too - awful that you can’t put your own child first!

telvg · 16/03/2022 22:37

Report your school to social services for safeguarding risks. Tell them it’s about the child - your child!

worriedatthistime · 16/03/2022 22:39

@PinaColada123456 he is away for one week and it just so happens the appt is then
Plus you know some people have to work away as its their job and pays the bills
Her employer is being a dick thats all, and in any other job it wouldn't be an issue for hospital appt and 30 mins leave

worriedatthistime · 16/03/2022 22:42

@Mirw teachers don't get annual leave thats not a choice ffs

ldontWanna · 16/03/2022 22:44

@telvg

Report your school to social services for safeguarding risks. Tell them it’s about the child - your child!
I can't even...
Pawtriarchal · 16/03/2022 23:20

@HaveToSaySomethingHere

Could you just arrive 30 mins late? Would they still see your DC?
The way medical appointments work is that only they’re allowed to run late.
ememem84 · 17/03/2022 06:34

Email again with appointment details. Make sure it’s known that child is in pain etc as a pp suggested.

To be honest you note that school say that all appointments should be made outside of working hours. If I’ve read correctly this has. So you’re following procedure.

waitingandhoping243 · 17/03/2022 08:41

I was a teacher in a previous life and although all the schools I've worked in have asked for you to book appointments out of hours, and most of us really try, I've yet to work in a school where it's a flat out no when a)no cover is affected b) you've already made the appointment outside of school times and so it's the travelling not the appointment that's the issue.

You work for a dick of a school OP. I have no suggestions because unfortunately, by being honest, you have ensured you can't call in sick.

Ugh, you have my sympathies. We are expected to put all other children above our own and frankly other children are not more important than your own child in pain.

Shell4429 · 17/03/2022 12:29

@threatmatrix

It’s your job, they count on you to work to your contract. Appointments should be made out of work hours or taken as holiday.
Are you the OP’s head teacher? It’s the only explanation for your unreasonable and totally without empathy comment.
saraclara · 17/03/2022 12:53

@threatmatrix I'm not sure how teachers can make hospital appointments out of hours, when out patients departments keep roughly the same hours as schools. When doctors start holding clinics at 6am or 7pm, I'm sure teachers will be first in the queue.

Marynotsocontrary · 17/03/2022 13:03

You need to go to the appointment OP.
Policies that are so rigid are problematic. I'd send a nice, polite email as suggested upthread, emphasising the fact that your child is in pain, that it's 30 minutes and that no cover is needed. Say you'll make up the 30 minutes on x date, or that they can take it off your salary if required. All very polite and reasonable. Mention to the head that you've sent the email if it would be strange not to...eg if you're working with them all day.
Then just go.

If it goes to Board of Management then so be it. Clearly this policy of theirs could do with updating. It is not possible to make all appointments out of school hours, particularly medical ones. People wait months, even years, for hospital appointments.

Madamum18 · 17/03/2022 15:58

threatmatrix It’s your job, they count on you to work to your contract. Appointments should be made out of work hours or taken as holiday.

Ridiculous. Its a school. She gave notice. Teachers cant "take annual leave". The problem if left could cause serious problems for her child's hearing!

You have made yourself look very silly with that comment!

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