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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

This is clearly unreasonable but what do I do now?

240 replies

Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 08:18

DS has a problem with his ear, we’ve been to the GP and it hasn’t resolved.

I’ve managed to get a hospital appointment but it’s some 45 minutes away, with hindsight I know what work are like about time off and I should have called in sick. But I thought because it was health related and for a young child I’d be granted the time off.

They have said no, it’s a school. They just keep saying to rearrange in holiday time or after school.

I think if I lie it could be a disciplinary - I feel so conflicted.

OP posts:

nokidshere · 15/03/2022 13:08

I'd just go. No one can stop you having an appointment in school time, it's not like you get any say in hospital appointments. I'm pretty sure that you cannot be sacked for taking your poorly child to the hospital.

Take unpaid leave, tell them the appointment cannot be changed and you are going.

BobblyBlueJumper · 15/03/2022 13:11

You work in a terrible school (I work in one, so I'm not talking out of my butt)

No reasonable person would deny a parent leaving 30 min early to take their child to a hospital appointment!

I'm flabbergasted at their inflexibility and cruelty tbh.

I don't have a solution for you, but I am appalled on your behalf.

Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 15/03/2022 13:20

Taking into account that you're not actually teaching, refusing you 30 minutes leave at the end of the day is absolutely outrageous in my opinion. Your child's health is extremely important, and NO job should ever take precedence over that, regardless of how much time you may have had off previously. If your child was in another school and you received a message to say that they'd been badly hurt, would you wait until the end of the school day to go to them? I wouldn't! Tell the head that they're being unreasonable, your child's health come's first, and you're going, they can sort it out from there.

MrsCremuel · 15/03/2022 13:33

Do you have dependant care leave?

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 15/03/2022 13:33

This is awful OP. Are you in a union? If you are an email to them might be best to find out where you stand.

MRex · 15/03/2022 13:33

Did you try checking alternative appointment times online, and/or calling the hospital? Usually you can tweak around the date, especially if you only need it to be half an hour later.

I think it's terrible that they wouldn't let you leave for a hospital appointment however, and would ask the Head how to register a complaint.

londonmummy1966 · 15/03/2022 13:44

Call the hospital and ask the department secretary if there is a chance of rearranging for 30 minutes later or to a week when DH can take him.

StellaAndCrow · 15/03/2022 13:49

If you're not teaching at that time, would anyone notice if you just left quietly . . .?

girlmom21 · 15/03/2022 13:53

@StellaAndCrow

If you're not teaching at that time, would anyone notice if you just left quietly . . .?

I've got a feeling she's admin or receptionist or something as she's said she's not teaching. It makes them even more unreasonable if that's the case because there'll regularly be more than one person in a similar role.

Original poster

Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 13:53

@AngelinaFibres no it isn’t, it’s school policy. All appointments made outside of school.

OP posts:

Original poster

Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 13:53

I’ve not said because I’ve been trying to teach all day and grabbing a moment here and there, I am a teacher.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 15/03/2022 13:55

@Flexibilityofapavingslab

I’ve not said because I’ve been trying to teach all day and grabbing a moment here and there, I am a teacher.

Would that be a free period for you on that afternoon then? Is there a rule you have to be onsite during those sessions?

I know the answer is probably no but could you agree to work your lunch and leave early if you're going to be planning or marking or similar in that time?

Imaysnapandfart · 15/03/2022 13:56

Does your school want to be liable for your son deteriorating because he's unable to get to the drs appointment he needs? Surely they must understand how difficult it is to get an appointment at ANY time these days!

Calennig · 15/03/2022 14:00

You have a right to unpaid emergency parental leave (even if your employer is a school) - have a google.

I'd look into parental leave and see if it applies. I don't think I'd be re-arranging the appointment if I left my child needed to be seen sooner as frankly appointments are hard to get.

www.gov.uk/parental-leave

If you are a teacher - presumably you have a union so I'd approach them and see if they'll back you and how they suggest handling the situation especially if it's a time you're not teaching.

lastoneintown · 15/03/2022 14:03

They are unreasonable and posters who assume that everyone has family who can help out for these things boil my piss. Plenty of people have no-one who can help.

Where I Iive if you can't make the NHS appt offered you, you go to the bottom of the waiting list, which obviously means you have many, many months to wait again.

ButterflyBitch · 15/03/2022 14:04

Is it during your PPA time if you’re not teaching? Surely you don’t have to be onsite for that.

DimplesToadfoot · 15/03/2022 14:06

Can you call the hospital and say you have an appointment at whatever o'clock, its really difficult for you to get there at that time and could you come 30 minutes late? I have to do this myself a lot and I've never had a no yet, then you can leave school at the normal time.

If not then I'd go regardless, take the disciplinary and go to the papers, they'd have a field day, start practicing your sad face :-)

Original poster

Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 14:07

I’m not teaching in that lesson, it’s strict school policy all appointments are made outside of school time so that’s why they’ve refused.

OP posts:

Mumdiva99 · 15/03/2022 14:10

@Flexibilityofapavingslab

I’m not teaching in that lesson, it’s strict school policy all appointments are made outside of school time so that’s why they’ve refused.

But you haven't made an appointment in school time. It has been given to you.....surely that's the difference.

A regular check up at the doctors - no, a specialist appointment at the hospital - yes. That is just common sense......

girlmom21 · 15/03/2022 14:11

It makes no sense to have that blanket policy apart from so people can't say "well X was allowed time off".

Have you suggested making the time up? Or said you can't move the appointment?

jytdtysrht · 15/03/2022 14:11

Take your child to the hospital. Hospital appointments are difficult to rearrange and your ds needs help. If your employer sanctions you, go over the head of the person who did it.

nokidshere · 15/03/2022 14:12

I’m not teaching in that lesson, it’s strict school policy all appointments are made outside of school time so that’s why they’ve refused.

This is something that mostly cannot be achieved. We have little control over hospital appointments and it's just not acceptable to leave a child in pain for any longer than necessary. The last time I changed an appointment it was 4 months till the next one and I still couldn't choose a day/time.

You cannot be held to rule for unrealistic goals.

Singlebutmarried · 15/03/2022 14:12

Set off 30 mins late. Call hospital on way and say there’s traffic.

Chances are mid afternoon the clinic is running late anyway.

Calennig · 15/03/2022 14:15

@Flexibilityofapavingslab

I’m not teaching in that lesson, it’s strict school policy all appointments are made outside of school time so that’s why they’ve refused.

It might well be desirable but I'm not sure legally they can demand that - so seek some legal advice from your union and hopefully get soem back up.

They might be playing hard ball because most people then try and re-arange appointmnets - but sometimes especially with NHS that's not possible.

So I'd ring hopsital see if they can be flexible - and try and get that in writing so you don't turn up and get turned away for being later or fight with the school - so you can leave early this once despite their "policy" becuase on this occasion you have no choice and your child's health is more important than their policy.

Original poster

Flexibilityofapavingslab · 15/03/2022 14:18

I’ll try to get through to the union. I’m not sure what my legal stance is though. I’m sure the union will frown on it but whether they can actually say it’s illegal is different.

@Mumdiva99 I know I agree but they don’t see it like that.

OP posts:

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