To think my DC would stick out like a sore thumb in the North East?

[Rainallnight]

We are a two mum family and we adopted our DC.

We are contemplating a move to the North East, where DP is from.

My major concern is that our DC wouldn’t be at school with any other kids from a same sex family and, because it’s more unusual, would be more likely to be made to feel different. I also worry about bullying.

Any thoughts from anyone in that part of the world? AIBU?

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff

Why are you assuming the OPs family need some sort of 'support' for being a same sex family? Wtaf

North East? England or UK?

@lakeswimmer

I now live near the Cotswolds. It's fucking weird.

How is it weird? It's normal for that area. Immigration has usually been to cities where there have been job opportunities and perhaps contacts/friends/relatives from the immigrant's home country. Different areas have different demographics which shift over time.

Diversity isn't just about skin colour. I could gather a group of people together from my mainly white village and they would have a very wide range of life experiences based on their country of birth, age, socio-economic background, health, disability, working life etc.

It's a matter of perspective, that's all. From coming from an area which is incredibly diverse in lots of different ways to living in an area which is much narrower, it's still strange to me.

Where I am right now, there is very little of all of the variables you describe. It really isn't diverse in any way whatsoever.

And I'm just not used to that at all as it's so far from a) my own family and b) from where I was brought up. People here are all very lovely, it's not a criticism - but just different to where I"m from. And I'm just trying to put that in context for people raging about the OP's question being a slight on the north east somehow.

I'm out in the sticks in Yorkshire (in what used to be a pit village). We have same sex parents in the village, my boss is in a same sex marriage with DC and my niece is also in a same sex relationship.

I find it sad that you feel that you will come across homophobia anywhere other than where you live.

‘ I think/hope times have changed across the UK. ’

I wish. The reality is that LBGTQ+ people, and their kids face homophobia all the time.
You’ve really set everyone off OP! But the reality is there are areas in the U.K. - brighton, London, Oxford, Manchester that are much more gay friendly than others.

I find your thread pretty offensive to be honest. I'm from the North East and I know two families with two mums. No one bats an eyelid, to imply we are prejudice against same sex parents is frankly narrow-minded, it's not based on where people are from.

@Waterfordaston

What about Hebden Bridge? I lived there and was the only straight in the village.

My SIL lives near Hebden Bridge. Very ,very vocal lesbian community there. Her NDN are lesbians and run a plumbing company. They only use other lesbians to work on their house. Huge number of same sex tradies in that area.

@334bu

North East? England or UK?

Sweden

I think you need to be more specific than 'north east' - which town are you thinking of?

I grew up in a fairly bigoted working class post industrial town - my brother is gay, he didn't come out until he left the area. I am not sure I would want to go back to the town as a single sex couple bringing up a family ...................however this was 20 years ago.

I would go back to the nearest city to where I grew up which has a thriving, supportive gay community - honestly, there are more gay families than you can shake a stick at.

I’ve always found people in the north east really friendly and welcoming and open minded — I’ve lived all over OP and ironically I think you would have more of an issue in certain parts of the Midlands or South Yorkshire— ex pit areas— I’m originally from one. Maybe stick to Newcastle, Durham etc (lovely places too)

@Halllyup17

Hebden's lovely. I know a couple of people from there (and yes, they're both in same sex relationships).

Really though, I don't know why you have this perception of the North East being homophobic. I'm in Yorkshire (perhaps not North East enough for you) and I think we're probably one of the least judgemental regions in that respect. I know plenty of same sex couples, some with children, some without. I don't know of anyone getting bullied for it.

On what possible basis do you conclude that Yorkshire is one of the least judgemental regions?

Hi OP, I understand your concern, although it can be hard to discuss. I am from 'the provinces' myself, although I like to think I am not provincial

Undoubtedly you will encounter some homophobia. There is homophobia everywhere, but it is easier to avoid in some places. However in every region of the UK many people are not homophobic.

I went to a baby group once where other parents were talking openly about how awful it would be if their babies were gay as adults. I challenged this and it made things awkward for me. This is the sort of attitude a significant % of people still hold in the UK. Presumably this attitude is not uniformly distributed in the same way racist attitudes are not uniformly distributed. So it really depends where precisely you will live and what school your child will go to.

But don't write off a whole region.

“Rainbow families”

Is that what we’re calling same sex couples with kids now?

Having only heard of rainbow babies before I immediately thought of a parent remarrying after the death of a spouse.

Or a family where both parents work for the NHS

Rainbows are bloody everywhere now.

On what possible basis do you conclude that Yorkshire is one of the least judgemental regions? On the 'I make things up in my own head' basis I think.

I lived there for ten years, until about ten years ago.

At the schools I was very familiar with, it would have been unusual but not unique. They wouldn't have been bullied for it. If anything, it would have been seen as quite cool.

You and your partner would have had some stares and the occasional creepy comment from dads though.

@Nomoreusernames1244

“Rainbow families”

Is that what we’re calling same sex couples with kids now?

Having only heard of rainbow babies before I immediately thought of a parent remarrying after the death of a spouse.

Or a family where both parents work for the NHS

Rainbows are bloody everywhere now.

I don't use the term myself, but it's not exactly new! It long predates 'rainbow baby' as a term for a baby born after the death of a sibling, and certainly all the NHS-rainbow stuff.

@Crikeyalmighty

I’ve always found people in the north east really friendly and welcoming and open minded — I’ve lived all over OP and ironically I think you would have more of an issue in certain parts of the Midlands or South Yorkshire— ex pit areas— I’m originally from one. Maybe stick to Newcastle, Durham etc (lovely places too)

Are you in a same-sex relationship?

If you are this is relevant, if you are not, then you may simply not have witnessed the issue and so not be aware.

@everythingcrossed

I'm amazed by all these people in the NE and elsewhere who know two or three same-sex couples - my children (now all secondary school age) were at an enormous, inner London primary - more than 600 children - and I don't think there were any .

And you knew the parentage of all 600 pupils?

It is a classic tactic of the majority to laugh at someone from a minority, and to tell them their concerns are all in their head. Well done, everyone. Feeling super relaxed and welcome about a potential move now.

Thanks to everyone who got my perfectly reasonable concerns about moving to an area where my children would, statistically speaking, be in more of a minority than they are now, and my need to think about the impact on them.

My aunt lives in a tiny hamlet as North East as it's possible to get. There is basically one street and two separate houses. Two gay couples live there, I must remind her to up her homophobia.

Honestly OP, you're getting it tight here and I understand your question but omg I'm so over Londoners thinking the rest of us are stupid pricks.

This is as amusing as the 'can we still do dance lessons and go to museums if we move away from London' thread

Although nothing will top the girl who had never left London and moved here for work and worried how she would cope without electricity

When I first moved to Sussex 30 years ago, I was shocked to find out that the taxi companies shut down soon after midnight unless you'd pre-booked a cab. Unfortunately, I made this discovery at 2.00 am at a party on the other side of town. However, I very quickly discovered that crime was so low here that you could safely walk home alone at any time of night.

We have 24 hour taxis now, takeaway deliveries and everything. And the shops don't shut on a Wednesday afternoon any more!

You get gays everywhere these days!
If youre worried about the area being a bit backward, then maybe rent for a while rather than buy, or find somewhere where it isnt just one school in the vicinity. I think big towns or cities are likely to be more diverse than villages and estates, so id take that into account when choosing somewhere.
I dont think its a stupid question to ask when moving somewhere you dont know if you are from a minority demographic, but cultures regarding bullying can be wildly different from school to school more than area. Id avoid schools that have any particularly homophobic religion as its main demographic to be on the safe side.

@MaChienEstUnDick

My aunt lives in a tiny hamlet as North East as it's possible to get. There is basically one street and two separate houses. Two gay couples live there, I must remind her to up her homophobia.

Honestly OP, you're getting it tight here and I understand your question but omg I'm so over Londoners thinking the rest of us are stupid pricks.

Why does everyone keep saying the OP is a Londoner?