To think my DC would stick out like a sore thumb in the North East?

[Rainallnight]

We are a two mum family and we adopted our DC.

We are contemplating a move to the North East, where DP is from.

My major concern is that our DC wouldn’t be at school with any other kids from a same sex family and, because it’s more unusual, would be more likely to be made to feel different. I also worry about bullying.

Any thoughts from anyone in that part of the world? AIBU?

Of course you shouldn't move! Everyone knows that the NE round up all same sex couples and ship them off to London

There are some really unnecessary comments on this thread.

The OP didn't post anything ridiculous. She just said she's worrying that if they move, her children won't be in school with other children whose parents are in same-sex relationships. It's a valid thing to worry about.

Yabu but even if there aren't already any same sex parents right where you move to, be the first and they'll just get on with it.

@implantreplace

I find it funny how those from NE are immediately jumping on OP and criticising her but in same breath saying how ridiculous her concerns are

It's her approaching racist ( people from that area will be something very negative ) attitude they are criticising not her sexuality

😆 Love posts like these!

Gays, adoption, blended families etc all exist outside the M25. Just like running water and electricity.

The only reason your kid would get bullied is if your kid assumes they’re somehow better being from the South.

Bloody southerners!!

It's her approaching racist ( people from that area will be something very negative ) attitude they are criticising not her sexuality

[wow] WTF? Where has she said anything at all racist?

I'm amazed by all these people in the NE and elsewhere who know two or three same-sex couples - my children (now all secondary school age) were at an enormous, inner London primary - more than 600 children - and I don't think there were any .

Why do you assume the north east specifically will be an issue? I know of at least one single sex parent couple in my DC’s year group. Not aware that any of the kids think it’s anything other then normal.

People need to calm down a bit. No one is suggesting that you still live in caves in the north east.

I'm from London originally. I grew up in an area that was diverse in pretty much every way you can think of. On a council estate.

I now live near the Cotswolds. It's fucking weird. There are enormous pockets of people who are entirely white and British with absolutely no ethnic diversity whatsoever. And not other forms of diverse communities either. I can tell you in my DC's school - at which I was a governor and spent a huge amount of time there - I can't think of a single parent who was openly gay.

I can see why someone moving here who didn't fit the usual demographics might feel a bit worried (even though I suspect they'd be fine). I'm not in the north east but this is what OP was asking, If you're used to be in the minority, and maybe have experienced nastiness or bullying, it's not an unreasonable question - especially when you're trying to protect your DC.

I think the OP just wants reassurance that there are plenty of children with same-sex parents in the NE. Perceptions are sometimes coloured by when you lived in a place - I don't think I ever met a same-sex couple when I lived in the north, but that's because it was quite a while ago when they were more unusual and also tended to keep quiet about it - quite possibly the same would have been true in any area. It's easy to assume the difference is place rather than time. There's also a perception that changes in society do happen sooner in London - which may be true, but doesn't mean that other areas don't follow suit fairly soon afterwards.

Haway OP

We have the gays up here you know

A very active 🏳️‍🌈 community.

Have at least one same sex family on my street and their daughter goes to school with my DC.

If you’re moving to pit village with a population of 100 people you might be the only ss family but any regular town or city with a diverse demographic wont be an issue.

If you’re worried why don’t you just spend some extended time in the community you want to live in, come up for 3 weeks in the summer hols etc.

I live in deepest darkest Lincolnshire, very very rural. My friend and her partner have a son, they've never had any negative remarks or bullying! I can't think going a couple of hours up the road would dramatically change that!

@gamerchick

I don't know whether to laugh or be insulted. We're not backward here. and yes shock horror we have same sex families.

This

From personal experience- I live in the North East (Sunderland area), although I'm not originally from here! I don't feel unsafe holding my girlfriends hand in public or anything. Had alot of stares in York tho So it depends where abouts in North East I suppose. I'd say Newcastle/Sunderland isn't particularly homophobic place.

I’d stay in London if I was you.

Please.

@lakeswimmer

I don't see why it would be an issue in the NE but not in other parts of the country?

I blame Viz.

viz.co.uk/2015/01/23/sid-sexist/

We’re in London with dc at primary and secondary and don’t know any single sex parents, is it well know they all live in London?

It's news to me if so. I am a single parent living in a supposedly diverse area of East London, and I am slightly disappointed that 99% of the children in his year have the absolute stereotypical family: mother and father (married), 2.4 children. Wherever the non-traditional families are, it is not here.

@lanthanum

I think the OP just wants reassurance that there are plenty of children with same-sex parents in the NE. Perceptions are sometimes coloured by when you lived in a place - I don't think I ever met a same-sex couple when I lived in the north, but that's because it was quite a while ago when they were more unusual and also tended to keep quiet about it - quite possibly the same would have been true in any area. It's easy to assume the difference is place rather than time. There's also a perception that changes in society do happen sooner in London - which may be true, but doesn't mean that other areas don't follow suit fairly soon afterwards.

But also, statistically, she is less likely to meet other same-sex parents in the north east than, say, in London.

It's not weird or wrong to notice that.

She's not specified an area of the NE, which may be for anonymity reasons, but if it's somewhere fairly rural it could very well be she is looking at a community that really won't have a lot of gay people in it.

It does matter. In my DD's class there are no other children no being raised by a man and a dad - there was one little boy whose mum was a single mum, but they've just left. And it does mean DD is more conscious she doesn't have a dad than a child might be in a more diverse community where there were more varied family set-ups.

I live in a tiny village in rural bit of West Midlands. We have 2 lesbian couples with children, 2 gay men couples ( one with children one without). There are only 400 people in my village.There are same sex couples everywhere.

What about Hebden Bridge? I lived there and was the only straight in the village.

‘ don’t think it’s just a North East issue, I think bullying could take place anywhere for whatever reason’

Ignore unhelpful comments like this OP! I live in a very LGBTQ friendly city and our kids ( 2mums) have experienced very little negativity around having 2 mums and there are other rainbow families in their schools.
We have talked about moving to my home town ( yes North!) and I know that this would change overnight.
My advice would be to join a LGBT parents or families grp on Facebook - there are a few- and chat with other gay parents there to see which areas they live in and which schools they have experience with. Having a school who have had other Rainbow families attend is one of the big pluses for most parents as it means that your family aren’t the oddity and more importantly the school will know how to deal with any homophobia geared towards your kids.
You could just moved to Hebden though!

Gosh, I can't type. In my DD's class there are no other children not being raised by a mum and a dad, that should be!

Mumsnet is deffo no the friendliest place for LGBT people unfortunately, so I’d take some of the advice on here with a massive pinch of salt…

Are we less evolved up here or something?

I live a tiny Welsh mining village, and I know 4 same sex parenting couples just in this village of 8000 people!
I think you’ll be fine.