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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your best retorts when told to smile

162 replies

tympanic · 14/03/2022 04:41

I'm over it. I even get it from my husband. Not my fault I have resting bitch face. I know the hive will have some witty retorts so let's have them.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 14/03/2022 04:49

For strangers, none. That’s what they want. I just completely ignore, and if it persists I would say ‘leave me alone.’

For a husband? I’d say stop saying that, I don’t like it. If it continued I’d have a look at why my husband treated me like that.

‘Witty retorts’ are generally just a bit embarrassing in my opinion and only enter into ‘banter’ with someone being rude to you. I prefer a dignified silence or asking someone not to speak to me.

Monty27 · 14/03/2022 04:54

I smile all the time even though I have rubbish teeth.
If someone told me to smile they'd be dead meat (metaphorically)

SpikeySmooth · 14/03/2022 04:58

I get that at work. Usually men. I tell them to bugger off. Or ask if they say that to other men. They get arsey, but I don't care.

MrFsAunt · 14/03/2022 05:06

If I decide to say anything back it's normally 'you first?' That tends to flummox them.

TomPinch · 14/03/2022 05:11

You'd regret saying that if I did.

HereBeFuckery · 14/03/2022 05:27

I intend to buy this t shirt and wear it daily.

To ask for your best retorts when told to smile
DownUdderer · 14/03/2022 06:19

Don't tell your self you've got a bitch face. I can't understand why everyone accepted this phrase. It's just your face.

RestingMurderousFace · 14/03/2022 06:29

Can relate. 😐

GeodesicDome · 14/03/2022 06:31

'Fuck off'?

ThatsALotOfPassionfruit · 14/03/2022 06:56

‘No’

ItsNotJustCharlieWhoSeesYou · 14/03/2022 06:59

If it's a stranger look slightly over the top of their head and whisper into your sleeve MI5 style "hold fire!...I repeat, hold fire, it's not the target!"

SallyWD · 14/03/2022 07:08

There's this one man who lives nearby. I've seen him about 4 times. Every time without fail he tells me to smile but not just that. It's "Oh for goodness sake smile! What's wrong? It's a beautiful day. There's so much to be happy for. Cheer up!". It's all said in such a patronising way. Drives me mad. I never respond because I just don't want to give him the time of day. Weirdly he always seems to say it when I'm actually feeling pretty content. It's not as if I'm scowling but who walks around with a huge grin on their anyway? He's in his 60s and I wonder if he's just lonely...

MacraMee · 14/03/2022 07:15

The last time a random bloke said this to me on a bus I told him my mum had just died and he should think before he speaks.
Had the desired effect.
My mum is alive and well but my cat had just died and I was upset.
This was a while ago before I hit menopause. Nowadays if a bloke said that to me he'd be lucky to leave the vicinity with his head anywhere other than between his legs.

PerfectlyImperfectIsMe · 14/03/2022 07:16

A middle finger 🤷🏻‍♀️

alittlebitofbread · 14/03/2022 07:17

I had someone say this to me just after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. His face was a picture when I told him. Bet he doesn't say it again to random people who he knows nothing about. It really upset me the twat

Octomore · 14/03/2022 07:18

"I'll arrange my face how I choose, thanks"

duvetdayforeveryone · 14/03/2022 07:20
Octomore · 14/03/2022 07:20

@DownUdderer

Don't tell your self you've got a bitch face. I can't understand why everyone accepted this phrase. It's just your face.
100% this!

Resting bitch face is such a misogynist term - it is never used about men.

LubaLuca · 14/03/2022 07:23

Me:

To ask for your best retorts when told to smile
BrickingIt44 · 14/03/2022 07:26

Do what they do in Broad City - stick your middle fingers up then use them to push the corners of your mouth up. That or do a crazy Joker-type grin.

EricScrantona · 14/03/2022 07:27

I read an article about this and a girl was so certain she would be told to smile that she had a blood capsule in her mouth and chewed it when told to smile. She did smile but had blood in her teeth and dripping down her chin. The man was quite shocked and I doubt he did it again.

Ikeptgoing · 14/03/2022 07:28

Lol!
If it's a stranger I reply "who are you? I don't know you, you strange man that has approached me ..."

To someone I know "I'm thinking, this is my thinking face. Am I not allowed to think? I smile all the time when I'm really happy. You're being weird"

Grin
HRTQueen · 14/03/2022 07:33

I said to one guy my grandmother has just died

She had died quite a few years before so I didn’t feel bad saying it (I never even called her grandmother)

So I used it a few times they looked embarrassed

Most of the time I just roll my eyes

Ikeptgoing · 14/03/2022 07:33

Also... if it's someone I know that keeps doing it & it feels annoying, I have on occasion gone a bit further

"Would you like me to bow as well? Sit? Stand? Is there anything else as a puppet under your control you want to order me to do...? GrinGrinConfused Seriously Malcolm ...pack in the personal comments"

astorsback · 14/03/2022 07:35

"No."

You dont owe random men attention and conversation. As far as your husband's concerned I'd say "I'm smiling inside."

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