Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your best retorts when told to smile

162 replies

tympanic · 14/03/2022 04:41

I'm over it. I even get it from my husband. Not my fault I have resting bitch face. I know the hive will have some witty retorts so let's have them.

OP posts:
thepeopleversuswork · 15/03/2022 13:23

Depending on how arsy I am I will either:

a) Look through them as if they are not there or

b) Do a horrific fake plastic mouth-only grimace

Usually gets the point across.

Echobelly · 15/03/2022 13:23

As for 'why make any answer' - because I think men need to know this isn't acceptable. It isn't just 'a bit of fun', it's fucking imposing on women because they think we're decorative. And they need to stop doing it.

Men could keep doing it because initially, women did smile as they didn't want to be rude and they'd been told that attention was flattering, then probably more women stopped smiling and if more women make it clear it's not on maybe these men will get the fucking message.

KittenKong · 15/03/2022 13:27

The ‘best’ one I ever had (and mum would have wholeheartedly agreed) was ‘my mum died last night’. Yes mum would have laughed her socks off.

Generally I just say ‘f-off’. I haven’t any patience for fools these days.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 15/03/2022 13:51

"Have you ever said that to a man?"
No you fucking well haven't

I find it hard to smile, come and sit down let's talk it out. Grin

I know where you live.

A plain old 'Why?'

Original poster
tympanic · 15/03/2022 17:28

@Echobelly

As for 'why make any answer' - because I think men need to know this isn't acceptable. It isn't just 'a bit of fun', it's fucking imposing on women because they think we're decorative. And they need to stop doing it.

Men could keep doing it because initially, women did smile as they didn't want to be rude and they'd been told that attention was flattering, then probably more women stopped smiling and if more women make it clear it's not on maybe these men will get the fucking message.

This ^
OP posts:
unisexforreal · 15/03/2022 17:41

@ItsNotJustCharlieWhoSeesYou

If it's a stranger look slightly over the top of their head and whisper into your sleeve MI5 style "hold fire!...I repeat, hold fire, it's not the target!"
Best answer ever!
CallmeBadJanet · 15/03/2022 17:47

"ha...yeah...your face is funny".

Shinespring · 15/03/2022 17:52

A taxi driver said ‘smile it might never happen’ I said my mother has just died. He didn’t reply.

Windypants21 · 15/03/2022 17:56

Had a few ' don't worry it might never happen' comments ...my reply ' that's the problem it has!,'

Had a friend who told me she was referred to as resting bitch face at work by her predominately female colleagues. If only they knew, she is a real case, very entertaining just not that at work. Both my friend and i laughed heartily at it when she told us !!

KarmaLife · 15/03/2022 17:57

Love the "you first" response

BOOTS52 · 15/03/2022 17:57

When I was younger if someone said that to me would probably say do I know you now I would most likely give the finger or tell them to piss off and mind their own business, in peri menopause so would not take kindly to a man having a go at me.

BOOTS52 · 15/03/2022 17:58

Usually it would be men saying this as cannot imagine a woman saying this to another woman.

33goingon64 · 15/03/2022 17:59

@LubaLuca

Me:
This is my all time favourite meme
bunnybooboo79 · 15/03/2022 18:16

'What have I got to smile about my mum is dead' was used once also another occasion went batshit crazy on some bloke telling him he had no idea what was going on in my life so he should keep his mouth shut - both times I got apologies, I am actually really a delightful person though

BlueYazoo · 15/03/2022 18:29

“Cheer up”

“I work/live with you”

Mitzi067 · 15/03/2022 18:31

I used to get this said to me when I first went to work in the City in the mid 1960s. It was usually when I was concentrating on typing letters (as if I would be smiling when working)! When the teenage male idiot colleagues would say "cheer up, why dont you smile".... my response would be "well God made my face like this" ..... sadly it looks like the Devil made yours"! I dont think people are personally rude these days, as most folk are polite. My older colleagues would then say "they are trying to chat you up" (!) at which point I would blush with embarrassment, which in turn caused more unwanted comments!

AppleWax · 15/03/2022 18:34

There’s a camera filter for that’

‘Fook off’

‘No’

Hmm Or just silence….

PenguinPup · 15/03/2022 18:34

I always say my gran / grandad/ uncle just died and then I enjoy watching their reaction. Hopefully makes them think twice. Not going to work on your husband though, I admit ..

bozzabollix · 15/03/2022 18:39

The someone died one would be my first choice, either that or think of some ‘woman’s issue’ that makes you sad that you can go into in great depth whilst they absolutely squirm.

Bearyhumcrack · 15/03/2022 18:49

Usually a "why don't you go fuck yourself", or an aggressive "what did you fucking say" puts them off their stroke.

Handily, these two phrases work for any "heckle" so I don't have to worry about being spontaneous.

Sturmundcalm · 15/03/2022 18:57

I was on a zoom meeting last week and a guy said to me before we started that I should smile and my response was: "seriously, on International Womens Day you're telling a woman to smile??"

one of the other younger guys on the call (I was the only woman) was clearly struggling to not actually burst out laughing which I appreciated as at least it indicated that things might change in the future - i can dream...

Imissmoominmama · 15/03/2022 19:01

I had an undertaker say it to me as I walked past a church. When I turned into the gate to attend the funeral he looked suitably shocked. I ignored him. I wonder whether he ever used that line again…

I’d still ignore, tbh.

During lockdown I bubbled with my dad. One day as we met for a walk and hugged, a man said, “ Ooh, what a lovely hug, can I have one?”

“Give the man a hug, Dad.” Said I.

Jeannie88 · 15/03/2022 19:16

Not experienced it for a while as everyone just looks at their phone!

fluffiny31 · 15/03/2022 20:35

I remember when someone told me to smile it might never happen..... they soon shut up when I said it already had my partner died. They didn't know what to say and swiftly left my friends house. My partner had only died a couple of days before the comment in the most horrific circumstances. Now I just tell them to give me something to smile about.

Bertiebiscuit · 15/03/2022 20:40

Right on sister - too true 👍