To ask for your best retorts when told to smile

[tympanic]

I'm over it. I even get it from my husband. Not my fault I have resting bitch face. I know the hive will have some witty retorts so let's have them.

The last time a man told me to "smile love, it might never happen" I barked at him like a dog. I don't know what came over me. I just felt that I needed to respond with something really intense.

Also, if I must say so myself, I do really good impression of a dog.

@PeeAche2

Nearly peed myself!

The MI5 one s just class (pmsl)

Look at them long and quizzically and ask "Do you tell men to smile?"

Coz let's face it a woman never does this, it's always a man

Thank goodness for masks for the last two years that's what I say. Could hide my expression

Why does it warrant a response. It really doesn't.

I once had a contractor comment to a man I work with 'it's a shame they all wear masks in here (workplace requirement, pre-covid), you can't even ask them for a smile' as I walked past.

My retort was 'good old masks, protecting us and also protecting you from being reported to HR'.

As for 'it might never happen' - 'you already have'.

Members of the public get a raised eyebrow and a middle finger, though I haven't had anyone say it for a long time, I was hoping it had died out.

I work in a pub and get this a lot.
Usually I respond with “Maybe if you said something funny I would”

I reply: 'Do ten burpees.'

@PeeAche2

The last time a man told me to "smile love, it might never happen" I barked at him like a dog. I don't know what came over me. I just felt that I needed to respond with something really intense.

Also, if I must say so myself, I do really good impression of a dog.

bahahaha that reminds me of that thread a while back where the OP made Owl noises at her colleague to stop her talking about Slimming world yogurt

Aw congratulations op, so lovely to hear. Enjoy!

Honestly I hate myself sometimes because I'm so conditioned I automatically smile and then feel cross about it afterwards.

I know this is pretty extreme and some might find this a bit much maybe, but I promised myself next time it happens, if I can catch myself I'll say 'My Father has just died' and walk away. I hope it gives the next bloke that says 'Smile!' at me a jolt and something to think about.

TBF my Father passed away a long time ago so I'm not tempting fate or anything!

Just briefly flash a boob 😂.

See if you can muster a burp, let rip, and then smile.

Ones I have used

"No, fuck off."

"Why? What's my face got to do with you?"

"No"

"Get lost"

"I don't owe you a smile"

"why"?

'I was, until I saw you'

I just say Fuck Off! Works a treat

Have you asked your husband not to say this? If so, how did he respond? If not, what stops you?

For strangers, I totally ignore them, no eye contact. They don't exist.

I had the luck to be told to smile when I happened to be walking past a cancer unit whilst wearing headscarf. I simply pointed at the sign.

The man looked HORRIFIED. It was brilliant.

[quote Flavabobble]I think this belongs here

[/quote] I always think of this video when this subject comes up - have this in your mind OP!

Look confused and say "why?"

@StellaAndCrow that video is brilliant!!

'Eat shit, cunt.'
Not witty, but effective.

'Let's see your cock' said with a stony face while reaching inside your jacket ready to pull out something...

@MacraMee - I did something similar once. Shut him up.