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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you pay £50 to attend a baby shower next week

361 replies

Donewithit888 · 12/03/2022 09:11

£50 includes the baby shower room hire, present (collective) and transport costs to get there, as it's around an hour from mine.

OP posts:
MabelsApron · 12/03/2022 13:30

@MurmuratingStarling It’s a new first birthday thing where the child smashes up a cake and gets covered in it, then gets photographed. I only went to two - just found it all a bit nauseating seeing a small child literally covered in brown icing and cake crumbs.

woodhill · 12/03/2022 13:31

Not really understanding why you would expect another gift when baby is born if you've already been to the shower and brought one

MabelsApron · 12/03/2022 13:36

@woodhill From recollection what she asked for was brand new really effing expensive baby clothes.

starfishmummy · 12/03/2022 13:37

Heck, I'm glad when people I know had babies it was knit a cardi and send a card!!!

LosingMySh1t · 12/03/2022 13:38

Not a chance!

ladygindiva · 12/03/2022 13:40

@Jennifer2r

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me £50, hope that helps.
same
Mary46 · 12/03/2022 13:40

I remember a mum I know went with her daughter. A gift then they all paid for the mum to be lunch too so was an expensive day out for all

ProfessionalWeirdo · 12/03/2022 13:42

No. I wouldn't go to a baby shower anyway, let alone be expected to pay for attending.

ShagMeRiggins · 12/03/2022 13:48

@PrincessNutella

I'm American. The only showers I've ever been to have been small events held in people's homes, sometimes all women, sometimes men and women. These parties are usually held during the day and there are simple homemade refreshments--sandwiches, muffins, crudite, fruit salad, cupcakes, etc. People talk. People usually bring some kind of present for the baby. The mother-to-be unwraps the presents and everyone oohs and ahhs over the tiny little outfits and wonders over the complicated gadgets and she says thank you and everyone hugs her. No huge hall is needed.
Absolutely my experience in America as well. Simple, relaxed, and useful.

I do understand that people didn’t used to celebrate the birth until the baby had arrived safely, but birth—while still uncertain now—had much lower survival rates then.

Preparing for a huge life event is not “tempting fate.” Presents after the baby is born are lovey, but there are a fair few things that are useful to have immediately, when the baby is born.

I’ve always seen it as a lovely way to help new parents (first time only, usually) to be prepared. Babies aren’t cheap, and grandad isn’t always around to build that cot, nor grandma to knit all the blankets, etc, as in ye olden times.

My usual gift is nappies for a newborn, a sleeper for 3-6 months age, possibly a keepsake for close family, and a bottle of something + babysitting/cleaning/meal offer for the mother.

And obviously, Sophie La Giraffe. Wink

Flubber88 · 12/03/2022 13:55

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me. So no. I don't understand why this self indulgence exists apart from to post it on SM.

Thumpkin · 12/03/2022 13:58

Not a chance. In fact, I wouldn’t even want to attend a free one!

WellNotReally · 12/03/2022 13:59

Why does everything have to be so public now, is it the influence of Instagram? Whatever happened to a little get together (usually a sightly extended coffee break) with your work colleagues when you went on mat leave, and visits from close friends and family when you've had the baby? It's all so 'taaa daaaa look at me' now.

Beautiful3 · 12/03/2022 14:01

Nope.

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 12/03/2022 14:01

Nope. I would pay my own travel and buy a gift. I would also pay for my lunch if necessary. That's it. I absolutely wouldn't be paying towards venue hire. That's for the family or woman to do. If they can't afford it, they should have done one at home like loads of other people do (or have none at all like loads of others)

UsernameInTheTown · 12/03/2022 14:14

@Jennifer2r sums it up perfectly. Hell no.

WeatherwaxOn · 12/03/2022 14:17

I wouldn't pay to attend a baby shower, ( wedding, or funeral, or any other other event) beyond transport costs, other relative 'usual' expenses.

GiftWrappingLikeItsXmasEve · 12/03/2022 14:22

I’d probably feel I have to, if someone arranged it for close friend or family. I’d resent it and the person who organised it.

Eims88 · 12/03/2022 14:30

I probably would, but I love a day out and to be honest presents that I've ended up buying have cost me more than £50! So I'd love a collective present. But understand it's a lot of money so definitely don't go if you don't want to

HairyScaryMonster · 12/03/2022 15:31

I would be fine with that if it was well catered and a close friend or close family. I've been to afternoon tea type places and including a present too seems on par.

MurmuratingStarling · 12/03/2022 15:51

[quote MabelsApron]@MurmuratingStarling It’s a new first birthday thing where the child smashes up a cake and gets covered in it, then gets photographed. I only went to two - just found it all a bit nauseating seeing a small child literally covered in brown icing and cake crumbs.[/quote]
Thanks @MabelsApron Never heard of it! Shock Sounds daft!

MinnieMountain · 12/03/2022 16:21

No. But luckily the only ones I’ve been invited to were for DH’s friend, so I could get out of it pleading childcare issues Grin

cantbecoping · 12/03/2022 16:38

If it was on in my garden I wouldn't even open the curtains. Grabby, greedy, expectant, pretentious, indulgent, tacky twaddle.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 12/03/2022 16:43

No.
The host of the baby shower covers the cost of the venue/ house
If they can't afford it, have a party at home
It's rude to charge guests IMO..

Allelbowsandtoes · 12/03/2022 16:55

@Jennifer2r

I wouldn't go to a baby shower if you paid me £50, hope that helps.
Grin This
Yogagrandmum · 12/03/2022 17:05

No

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