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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you pay £50 to attend a baby shower next week

361 replies

Donewithit888 · 12/03/2022 09:11

£50 includes the baby shower room hire, present (collective) and transport costs to get there, as it's around an hour from mine.

OP posts:
Butteredtoast55 · 12/03/2022 11:33

Absolutely not. I hope the current situation with so many people rethinking what they spend resets the button on the stupid ways we've found to waste money.
I'm not against a baby shower in the context of going to someone's house for a cup of tea or glass of bubbly, some cake and giving gifts of a few baby bits and pieces but that's about it.

AbsoluteTruths · 12/03/2022 11:35

I would not. I don't think I've ever been invited to one mind you but even if I were, I'd refuse. What's wrong with just taking a gift when you go to see the new baby?

PriamFarrl · 12/03/2022 11:36

@YellowPlant

I don't think you get it .

People pay to HOST the shower for the mum - the friends pay for it all

I don’t think you get it actually @stevalnamechanger Whoever hosts pays for it. So if a bunch of friends club together to throw a shower they pay for it, or the sisters/mum decided to throw a shower they pay for it. There has to be involvement and discussion between whoever wants to be involved; you don’t just book a place and send out a bill to everyone.

Exactly. Whoever decides to have the party pays for it.
Egghead68 · 12/03/2022 11:37

No

Brideandprejudice · 12/03/2022 11:39

If the mum and sister wanted to throw a party then they needed to pay for it. Unthinkably rude to invite people to something then ask them to pay for it.

worriedatthistime · 12/03/2022 11:39

I only went to first baby shower recently and it was fun
It was a time to get group together which hasn't happened for a while
The parents / family provided food , cake and drinks and it was a choice to take a gift , some people went and said they would buy a gift later when baby born , others bought more useful gifts that didn't matter if boy/ girl , like baby bowls , nappies , muslins etc

MajorCarolDanvers · 12/03/2022 11:41

Not even if you paid me £50 to go

whitewashing · 12/03/2022 11:44

No. There isn’t enough money in the Mint for me to go to a baby shower or a ‘gender reveal’ party.

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 12/03/2022 11:45

Baby showers have gotten ridiculous. I attended one last month which cost me £30 to attend and then a further £30 for the gift. Makes me angry thinking about it actually!

My friends wanted to throw me a shower when I had my first, but they were under strict instruction to make it extremely low key and no cost to anyone attending. Just like hen parties which now seem to be £300+ weekends away as standard 🙄

ancientgran · 12/03/2022 11:47

Depends, there's people I'd happily spend £50 to have a nice time with (I assume there is going to be food and drinks) and there's people I wouldn't go it if it was free.

Skyeheather · 12/03/2022 11:48

No, I would take a card and a present when I go to see the baby when it's born, I have no internet in these American customs.

When my sister organised her daughter's baby shower she had it at her house, provided all the food but asked everyone to bring a bottle if they wanted alcohol and everyone bought a gift of their own choosing. The Mum & Sister need to get a grip or expect not many to attend.

EeeICouldRipATissue · 12/03/2022 11:50

Putting aside the fact that it's a baby shower and really not my thing, since when do you host any party by hiring out a room and then getting your guests to pay it?!
Never heard anything like that before!
If you can't afford to have a party in a hired room, you host it where you can, like at home.
Not a chance on earth would I pay that

Darcy101 · 12/03/2022 11:52

Have only ever been to one and thought it verged on the obscene the amount of stuff the mum to be received for just the one baby. Seeing it all piled up was just whoa!! Most likely many of those who attended would have then gone on to buy girl/boy based presents when the baby was born, just seemed so excessive and I am someone who loves an event and having a spend up, something just didn’t sit right with me. So to have to pay £50 it would be a no from me.

LIZS · 12/03/2022 11:54

How entitled! No.

Gardeningcreature · 12/03/2022 11:54

No
Unless it was a bottomless brunch affair with unlimited cocktails and food in a fabulous setting.
I’m doubting that will be the case though.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 12/03/2022 11:54

Everyone chipping in for a gift - fine
Paying for the room hire is odd and unusual.

RebeccaNoodles · 12/03/2022 11:56

Nope!

SausageDogMum73 · 12/03/2022 11:58

I would rather stab myself in my eye than go to a baby shower so wouldn’t go anyway but I think it’s really rude asking people to attend and pay!
However, given how many people on here saying they wouldn’t go to one anyway, even for free, I do wonder who actually does go to them….

jollygreenpea · 12/03/2022 11:59

No I wouldn't pay, I wouldn't go even if it was completely free. I think they are tacky, grabby and awful.

OohThatCat · 12/03/2022 12:02

No, but then I’d rather sit home and stare at a blank wall for four hours to go to a baby shower!

crispsarny · 12/03/2022 12:02

No

crispsarny · 12/03/2022 12:04

& grasping gits!

WutheringCripes · 12/03/2022 12:05

No, I had a small 'shower' and paid for everybody's food and drinks as I knew that some would have bought the baby a gift and also some travelled from the other side of London (which may as well be coming from Wales on a bad day tbh!).

HelloDulling · 12/03/2022 12:07

There are ten pages, so this may already have been said, but I would pay for my own travel and for a gift if I were going to a wedding/birthday party, so this is the same for me. It seems odd to book a venue if you can’t afford it. Not sure why they don’t just have it at home.

Hashbr0wn · 12/03/2022 12:10

No way, completely OTT. Though not a huge fan of huge baby showers / gender reveals etc anyway... Something small at home is fair enough but beyond that is excessive in my opinion

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