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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you pay £50 to attend a baby shower next week

361 replies

Donewithit888 · 12/03/2022 09:11

£50 includes the baby shower room hire, present (collective) and transport costs to get there, as it's around an hour from mine.

OP posts:
Howareyouflower · 12/03/2022 12:50

No, you'd have to pay me to attend this American import rubbish.

hangrylady · 12/03/2022 12:50

I would for a close friend

NorthSouthcatlady · 12/03/2022 12:51

No way!

Howareyouflower · 12/03/2022 12:51

@PrincessNutella

I'm American. The only showers I've ever been to have been small events held in people's homes, sometimes all women, sometimes men and women. These parties are usually held during the day and there are simple homemade refreshments--sandwiches, muffins, crudite, fruit salad, cupcakes, etc. People talk. People usually bring some kind of present for the baby. The mother-to-be unwraps the presents and everyone oohs and ahhs over the tiny little outfits and wonders over the complicated gadgets and she says thank you and everyone hugs her. No huge hall is needed.
Now THAT I would attend!
EeeICouldRipATissue · 12/03/2022 12:52

The OP hasn't been asked to pay £50. She told us in the last update shes added all her own costs on to the day. Its £25 towards a gift
See, even that to me is grabby.
(Yeah, I know you don't like the word and me typing it again might have made you combust, but I'll risk it lol)
Who on earth thinks its OK to decide how much someone gets to spend?!
That's a hell of a lot of money for a lot of people.
Plus, if there's quite a few guests that djinn adds up.
Towards a gift?!
What on earth are they buying?! Grin
I'd be mortified if I thought my friends were being so strong arm and extravagant, I'd be like I'd rather not have any party at all than to potentially put people in a crap position!

EeeICouldRipATissue · 12/03/2022 12:53

Djjn?! Confused
Soon! Grin

Hockeyboysmum · 12/03/2022 12:53

Yes if i could afford it and wanted to go. If not then no

SuitcaseOfWhine · 12/03/2022 12:56

I'm really surprised by this trend of asking people to pay £50+ to attend a party. When did all this start? What's so wrong with bringing a bottle and a quiche?

No I wouldn't go OP. The only baby showerI went to was at a mates house and we just had a drink (not the mum) and gave her stuff that she needed (her bastard fella left her)

UseOfWeapons · 12/03/2022 12:56

Nope, declined one recently, it was £25, at a hotel, with champagne, and didn’t include a present. Bought a gift, didn’t go, think they’re grabby and and another Americanism that we don’t need.

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 12/03/2022 12:57

Absolutely not!

Bogofftosomewherehot · 12/03/2022 13:03

cat in hells chance

DenholmElliot · 12/03/2022 13:09

No. Hosts pay for a party,,not the guest.

MayBMaybenot · 12/03/2022 13:11

Definitely not. Very grabby!

JenniferBarkley · 12/03/2022 13:14

MN really likes to get snobby when the phrase baby shower pops up.

Each time one of my close friends has had a baby, we've used it as an excuse to have a lunch or dinner out, child free. The pregnant one is treated and haha a few gifts for her and the baby. I'm sure this has cost more than £50 each time, before you consider that I live 2.5 hours away and have travel costs. Happy to do it. Shock horror we've even done it for second and, gasp, third babies.

Bananarama21 · 12/03/2022 13:14

I wouldn't be contributing to the room hire. That's shameful of the hosts ans demanding 25 for a present.

Riverlee · 12/03/2022 13:15

Shouldn’t have to pay for room hire.

Expecting everyone to pay £25 in addition for present is grabby (do they also expect people to buy a present when baby is born).

Transport cost - paid £20 to travel to London recently to meet up with friends. If expected to pay £20 and all travel in a minibus, whilst it would cost me £5 to travel by myself, then no. If the cost of petrol. Is £25, and it’s a close friend, then yes.

NameChangeCity123 · 12/03/2022 13:16

Absolutely not

MabelsApron · 12/03/2022 13:17

I had a friend whose sister invited me to her baby shower for her 5th baby. Gift list was supplied. Only one in a decade (I think I attended nearly 20 in that decade!) I actually felt like I could turn down. It’s just so yuck.

(Don’t get me started on the cake smash parties…)

MabelsApron · 12/03/2022 13:18

@Riverlee In my experience, yes, I was always expected to get a newborn gift as well.

blockbustervideo · 12/03/2022 13:22

Fuck no.

I can understand the request for money to put towards a large gift (like a pram or cot) but I'd be embarrassed for the organisers specifying how much each guest should be contributing.

I'd definitely not put money towards anything else like room hire. If the hosts can't afford it, then they should a) find an alternative or b) not host a party at all.

LovePoppy · 12/03/2022 13:25

Did you already agree?

Backing out after agreeing is a bit iffy to me

woodhill · 12/03/2022 13:26

@MabelsApron

I had a friend whose sister invited me to her baby shower for her 5th baby. Gift list was supplied. Only one in a decade (I think I attended nearly 20 in that decade!) I actually felt like I could turn down. It’s just so yuck.

(Don’t get me started on the cake smash parties…)

Just grabby and wouldn't she have everything anyway
MurmuratingStarling · 12/03/2022 13:26

@MabelsApron

I had a friend whose sister invited me to her baby shower for her 5th baby. Gift list was supplied. Only one in a decade (I think I attended nearly 20 in that decade!) I actually felt like I could turn down. It’s just so yuck.

(Don’t get me started on the cake smash parties…)

Cake smash parties? Never heard of them!

I have heard of 'gender reveal' parties though. I loathe them as much as tacky baby showers. It's all so 'me me meeeeeee!'

MurmuratingStarling · 12/03/2022 13:27

@blockbustervideo

Fuck no.

I can understand the request for money to put towards a large gift (like a pram or cot) but I'd be embarrassed for the organisers specifying how much each guest should be contributing.

I'd definitely not put money towards anything else like room hire. If the hosts can't afford it, then they should a) find an alternative or b) not host a party at all.

This.
MurmuratingStarling · 12/03/2022 13:27

@JenniferBarkley

MN really likes to get snobby when the phrase baby shower pops up.

Each time one of my close friends has had a baby, we've used it as an excuse to have a lunch or dinner out, child free. The pregnant one is treated and haha a few gifts for her and the baby. I'm sure this has cost more than £50 each time, before you consider that I live 2.5 hours away and have travel costs. Happy to do it. Shock horror we've even done it for second and, gasp, third babies.

@JenniferBarkley

It's not snobbery. 'Baby showers' are just naff and attention-seeking events where women just want to be showered with gifts. And then expect gifts AGAIN when the baby is born, and then MORE gifts when the baby is christened, and THEN more when the baby is ONE.

They are usually the same type who have a stupidly expensive wedding - often far from where they live, sometimes abroad - and expect people to fork out four figures for the travel and accommodation. And ALSO send a naff, ludicrous poem out to people asking for money for their 'wedding gift.' OR (even worse) they send a wedding list to everyone, and the cheapest gift is around £100-120.

Bully for you if you have gone to many baby showers over and over. So what? Nobody cares. People are as entitled to think they're naff and pointless and grabby, just as you are entitled to love them!

Inviting people to a baby shower and expecting them to pay £50 for the 'privilege' is top-tier-cheekyfuckery.