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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shit gift

201 replies

15MinutesOlder · 11/03/2022 21:41

Just had my 50th birthday and my twin brother got me one of these

funblueplaques.co.uk/shop/blue-plaque/

I spent ages to find someone that could recreate a picture taken of us as children and then had it mounted and framed. It was his wife’s 50th a couple of months ago and I went halves with our other brother to get her a nice bracelet. I feel for a milestone birthday he’s got it so wrong, it’s like he doesn’t know me at all.

AIBU?

Should I say something or will the fact that it won’t be mounted anywhere say it all?

OP posts:
yoyo1234 · 12/03/2022 23:34

I love it Grin. Funny and personal

yoyo1234 · 12/03/2022 23:39

Oops from inscription realized it could be more personal/fun and slightly less like a tombstone inscription.

whumpthereitis · 12/03/2022 23:53

‘I wasn’t expecting a plaque that usually honours dead people’

😂😂😂
Amazing. He aimed for ‘birthday’ and landed on ‘memorial’.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/03/2022 00:09

The big problem with the 'loving life and MY family in Northamptonshire' is that it makes it look like you've commissioned and put up a plaque to yourself.

Plus, it also makes a big difference as to whether ALL of your family are now living in/based in Northants. It could be rather awkward if half your family have always lived in Bedfordshire - but they're the ones you clearly don't love Grin

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/03/2022 00:12

Oops from inscription realized it could be more personal/fun and slightly less like a tombstone inscription.

I can imagine some of the enforced-jollity-type but in reality actually quite humourless workplaces going for one of these as a retirement gift and having "She will be sadly missed by all of us" engraved on it Grin

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 13/03/2022 00:23

@15MinutesOlder I'd be utterly baffled if a relative got me this as well OP, let alone a sibling - let alone a twin!

Can I ask you to share where you got your photo done please? I was just thinking earlier I'd like to have something similar done with a lovely photo of my own children but tbh I have no idea what to even google.

I have to be honest though, as much as I think it's a cop out to say "oh well, he's a man" I've never had a gift from any man - including my own husband - that hit the mark as well as one from a woman. I don't know why, they always seem to just not quite get it? I always give a list of stuff now else I get either stuff like this or panic buys based on my likes as a child Grin

PennineWayinSlingbacks · 13/03/2022 00:56

My ExDH was once given as a birthday gift by his brother, a life sized cardboard cut out of a crawling baby in terry nappy, complete with display stand. We were all pre children, in our 30's. No idea.

mjf981 · 13/03/2022 06:09

I think its a bit shit. But I reckon he put some thought in to it, so wouldn't say anything to him. Just force a smile, thank him for the gift, and in a few months knock if off the wall and watch it smash in to a thousand pieces Grin

Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 13/03/2022 06:35

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

The big problem with the 'loving life and MY family in Northamptonshire' is that it makes it look like you've commissioned and put up a plaque to yourself.

Plus, it also makes a big difference as to whether ALL of your family are now living in/based in Northants. It could be rather awkward if half your family have always lived in Bedfordshire - but they're the ones you clearly don't love Grin

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll ironic that this brother is the only member of our family who lives in another county.
OP posts:
Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 13/03/2022 06:41

@ChiefWiggumsBoy I searched custom art on Etsy and found a seller whose style I liked, their online shop is closed now Hmm so all the people that disliked the idea as a gift will love that Wink

OP posts:
LimeSegment · 13/03/2022 06:50

I'm with you OP, this is shit. Good on you for having a sense of humour and putting it up, but it wouldn't stay up for long in my house, it go where it belongs, in the bin.

This thread is the opposite of every other decoration/present thread on MN. Tacky word based little signs are abhorred on every other thread.

I'd say agree no presents from now on, milestone birthday or not.

Pamlar · 13/03/2022 07:06

I don't think he's been intentionally nasty. He probably would have liked one of these for himself -where as you would have probably loved the photograph you gave him.
Mine would go in the downstairs loo. I find it a bit naff but not offensively so

CornforthWhite · 13/03/2022 07:56

I think the shame is he didn’t make the comments funny so I can see why you felt it was a bit deathly. Chuckle at his lack of awareness and think - oh well he tried but missed the mark. Put it back in the drawer!

londonrach · 13/03/2022 08:00

What a great idea. Sorry op I'm stealing this idea for a birthday present. My father in law is 80 this year and find this vvvv funny. Pity missed my dad's major birthday as he had loved it too.

Arucanafeather · 13/03/2022 08:25

I’ve read the whole thread and fell into the “not my thing but I’d put it up for the thought” camp… until I saw the photo and have seen what was inscribed on yours. I do think that unfortunately the choice of words he’s put on it does mimic a gravestone. So I’m not surprised you had that initial reaction to it as it gave me the same. Clearly not his intention though and I think I would have done what you’ve done and pop it up in the downstairs cloakroom. Hopefully it will give you a chuckle now when you see it.
A small group of my friends and I have a tradition of deliberately buying each other humorous ornamental gifts that are not our taste. One has got a toilet roll holder that is in hilariously bad taste…it’s been several years now and she’s realised not one single guest has commented on it. It clearly looks like it belongs Grin.

DogsAndGin · 13/03/2022 08:34

Yes, I think it’s a naff gift. But, I think the recreated childhood craze is really naff too. Sorry.

Ireolu · 13/03/2022 09:23

For a milestone birthday from a sibling, I don't like it. I don't like presents I have no use for because it's a waste. DH returned Val's day earrings cos I didn't like them. Would rather that money in his bank than a pair of earrings I will never use or will use once every 5 yrs out of courtesy. Some may think harsh but I just think honest. As this is personalised it can't be returned. The whole thing though will help you manage expectations of what you will receive at other times. And in turn what you shd gift.

Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 13/03/2022 09:36

@DogsAndGin urgh I must have worded it badly I didn’t get us together to recreate a picture. You might still think it’s naff but someone reproduced it in a different style, for example Andy Warhol.

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 13/03/2022 09:47

That's a super gift, my DH would love it

nosyupnorth · 13/03/2022 09:58

I like it, it seems like an honest attempt at being creative and personal that has maybe missed the mark on personal taste. Honestly, looking down you list of idea gifts they all seem a bit rubbish to me so I can see why he wouldn't go for those.

An autobiography of someone I like - how would he know which ones you have?
A framed picture of us or our family - surely you have photos of yourself already or could take one. I would be Shock at this as a gift.
I like heart shaped ornaments - this is okay I guess but requires a lot of judgement of your decorating taste (which he clearly doesn't share with you given your reaction this gift)
Fancy candle / L’occitane toiletries - these are super generic 'for her' gifts which a lot of people would take offense at being impersonal
Cookbooks - a lot of people would find this a sexist gift. also you can get millions of recipes free on the internet

Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 13/03/2022 10:13

@nosyupnorth The list might seem a bit rubbish to you but I was asked what I would have expected and I replied with some things that I would have quite liked to have received that were more useful than the plaque. You’re not the only person that has criticised the items, I can’t answer for everyone on MN.

OP posts:
Lollypip · 13/03/2022 10:13

I have never associated blue plaques with death. I work in a heritage property and have worked in quite a few with plaques. I just see it as something interesting. Maybe its just you and your brother have different points of view. I think it maybe is a downstair loo sort of thing but thats not nrcessarily a bad thing? People love noseying at a downstair loo! I put a plaque from my MIL that said 'When you see the good in life you will be truly happy' or words to that effect. I got angry every time i read it so I put it in a chairty shop. It was a gift she bought because she saw it and thought of me lol 😂. In contrast I think your brothers gift is quite sweet!

RomeoOscarXrayIndigoEcho · 13/03/2022 14:01

I really like it.

I'd hang it in my bedroom, or if I had a second toilet there. Maybe on the garden shed? Kitchen or if I had a utility I'd pop it in there.

Needs a bit of self-deprecating humour for where you hang it.

LadybugFeet · 16/03/2022 21:55

I'd get it, what's so humourous or hilarious about a generic statement that seems to be lacking in imagination stating someone's name and 'loving life in Northampton' and then a list of titles, mother/aunt etc like a funeral announcement. I agree it's shit and the inscription makes it even shitter again. 22 quid too, what a cheap-ass.

LadybugFeet · 16/03/2022 21:56

*don't get it.

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