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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shit gift

201 replies

15MinutesOlder · 11/03/2022 21:41

Just had my 50th birthday and my twin brother got me one of these

funblueplaques.co.uk/shop/blue-plaque/

I spent ages to find someone that could recreate a picture taken of us as children and then had it mounted and framed. It was his wife’s 50th a couple of months ago and I went halves with our other brother to get her a nice bracelet. I feel for a milestone birthday he’s got it so wrong, it’s like he doesn’t know me at all.

AIBU?

Should I say something or will the fact that it won’t be mounted anywhere say it all?

OP posts:
DearlyBeloathed · 12/03/2022 01:20

Tbh, your gift doesn't sound much better!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 12/03/2022 01:27

It could have been far worse - he could have bought you 'A Round Tuit'. Unwrapping one of those and having the giver excitedly explain at great length how hilarious it is (and exactly why) - and how they just knew that you would love it too - will enrage the kindest, most suffer-fools-gladly person and make them want to inflict substantial pain Grin

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 12/03/2022 01:30

Just in case anybody has been lucky enough to reach this point without ever having encountered one....

Shit gift
Allthestarsabovemyhead · 12/03/2022 01:31

Did he get you anything else?

Topseyt · 12/03/2022 01:37

I like it. I would like to be thought of as a historically significant figure, although I'm definitely not one.

Anything from your list of ideal gifts would be my idea of a crap gift. We are all different.

twominutesmore · 12/03/2022 01:38

I wouldn't want a blue plaque either but I can see how your brother has seen it as something quirky, funny and personalised. As seen in this thread, many people would like to receive one. He has therefore missed the mark rather than bought you a shit gift.

And from looking at your wish list, I would not want any of those things either and would certainly consider toiletries to be a shit gift.

And I would also consider your gift to him to be shit. I would be disappointed to receive that. Why would I want a familiar photo, which I already have or could easily get, in the style of a specific artist? I'd display it but I'd be disappointed.

I suppose what I think is - you can't really complain when your gift to him was so generic. Next year just drop hints, give money or book an experience together.

ChocoBear01 · 12/03/2022 01:48

Calling it shit and putting it up on Mumsnet is over the top harsh.

That said, it is one of those pointless junk items that just ends up in the loft. I wouldn't have liked to receive it either. Oh well, at least he tried to think of something personal. Only £22 quid too. I would have rather just had £22 worth of chocolate.

twominutesmore · 12/03/2022 02:15

How much did your photo to him cost op?
Apologies if I've missed it. £22 does seem cheap for a sibling's milestone birthday but not sure how it compares to what you bought. You can get apps I think that turn a photo into different styles.

k1233 · 12/03/2022 03:49

As someone noted above sometimes no gift is better than something that says I didn't put thought into this. I've never forgotten one secret santa at work where I was given 3 cups. 3. Not a set, not a pair, not a single lovely mug. 3. Added bonus - they were from a sales client. Clearly said IDGAF. I could never look at them, never used them and gave them to a charity shop. Compared to a birthday card one of my team gave me that said "there's no problem that can't be solved by a new pair of shoes". Love shoes and love that card and it's still on my desk 10 years on. It's not the cost, it's the thought.

I agree OP that the gift isn't nice or thoughtful, particularly given your health issues. You're allowed to think that and be disappointed.

carefullycourageous · 12/03/2022 05:29

No, I think he didn’t connect blue plaques with death at all which is how come he missed the mark whereas the first thing I thought when I saw it was that they commemorate the dead (generally).

I think this is your issue. I think you're being unreasonable, people think differently.

Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 12/03/2022 06:46

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

It could have been far worse - he could have bought you 'A Round Tuit'. Unwrapping one of those and having the giver excitedly explain at great length how hilarious it is (and exactly why) - and how they just knew that you would love it too - will enrage the kindest, most suffer-fools-gladly person and make them want to inflict substantial pain Grin
There’s always Christmas @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 12/03/2022 06:47

@Allthestarsabovemyhead

Did he get you anything else?
No
OP posts:
empireemmy · 12/03/2022 06:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the poster.

ManateeFair · 12/03/2022 06:55

He thought it was a nice idea. You don’t. He’s not snubbing you or making no effort; it’s just a misfire, that’s all. Just don’t hang it up if you don’t like it.

Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 12/03/2022 06:57

And from looking at your wish list, I would not want any of those things either and would certainly consider toiletries to be a shit gift.

Anything from your list of ideal gifts would be my idea of a crap gift.

It wasn’t a list of ideal gifts or a wish list, they were just examples of things that to me would have been more useful than the plaque. I appreciate the sentiment behind his gift I just couldn’t believe he thought it was something that I would put up.

OP posts:
Zonder · 12/03/2022 06:59

I agree with the pp about your list. I'd have been more upset to get some bland generic gift like those in your list that show no thought at all and can be got off the shelf in Sainsbury's.

At least he thought about it and if you are both used to a budget of £20 for presents he hasn't been stingy.

Baaaa · 12/03/2022 07:08

To be fair @Echobelly the words on it were thoughtful but they are associated with the dead and as I have a degenerative condition it didn’t land well when I opened it. Thankfully he wasn’t present

Ah... yes I can see why this was a shit gift now..

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 12/03/2022 07:18

Did he buy it from here? 50-year-old eyesight maybe not quite what it once was?

Shit gift
SoupDragon · 12/03/2022 07:26

Is everyone who thinks this is a great gift following the same link I am.

It's called having different tastes.

SoupDragon · 12/03/2022 07:26

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Did he buy it from here? 50-year-old eyesight maybe not quite what it once was?
Eh?
Franklyfrost · 12/03/2022 07:36
  1. blue wall plaques have nothing to do with commemorating death, that connection is entirely your own and your brother couldn’t have foreseen it
  2. what your brother is saying is that in his eyes you are important and special enough to deserve a blue plaque
  3. you also gave him something that is for display so maybe you’re both thinking ‘should i put it in a drawer’
knittingaddict · 12/03/2022 07:45

I love the concept, but it doesn't say what it's made of and it looks a bit cheap (says it's for inside use only). I think it's a great idea, but I would want a quality product that I could hang in the garden if I so wished. I'm guessing that there would be issues if you tried to hang it in a prominent position outside where people could see it if it's not an official blue plague.

I think I understand you're disappointment op, but would find a home for it somewhere. The loo?

What is it made of?

Seraphinesupport · 12/03/2022 07:48

its a shit gift

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 12/03/2022 07:56

We bought one when a long serving colleague retired. Well actually we bought two one for them to take home and one was put above the coffee maker where they spent a lot of time in the last year. They are still alive and enjoying retirement.

BakedTattie · 12/03/2022 07:59

My brother is very very wealthy.

For my 30th he got me a wash bag. I still thanked him and was grateful as he obvs thought I’d like it and he went out and got it for me.

It’s the thought that counts and all that shizz.

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