Shit gift

[15MinutesOlder]

Just had my 50th birthday and my twin brother got me one of these

funblueplaques.co.uk/shop/blue-plaque/

I spent ages to find someone that could recreate a picture taken of us as children and then had it mounted and framed. It was his wife’s 50th a couple of months ago and I went halves with our other brother to get her a nice bracelet. I feel for a milestone birthday he’s got it so wrong, it’s like he doesn’t know me at all.

AIBU?

Should I say something or will the fact that it won’t be mounted anywhere say it all?

Oh dear I wouldn’t like it either and I can see why in the context of your condition that it definitely missed the mark. That said I probably wouldn’t have liked the photo idea either!

I think it’s a good gift!
And it’s commemorative of achievement and contribution, rather than simply about dead people. It’s not a grave memorial. The fact they’re dead is by the by, really.

I see that it’s fallen flat, but that doesn’t make it a bad gift.

If someone close got me an overpriced candle for a milestone birthday I’d think that was really lazy! I wouldn’t think the photo was particularly thoughtful, either.

As to where to put it… depends a little what it says, as that might link it to a place. Otherwise, you could give it lots of varnish and go outdoors anyway, given you won’t mind it last long term.

A agree what a shit present.

It’s a commemorative plaque but about you? I’m sorry but I don’t really get it either. Why would you want that in your home?

It was £22 too. I know I sound ungrateful but for a 50th from a sibling, that’s a bit, cheap?

@carefullycourageous

I think you are being very harsh and a touch materialistic.

He bought you a thoughtful present, he is your brother, do you really need more of a fuss from him?

We only bought gifts because it was a milestone birthday, we usually just send a card. We have a £15/20 budget for Christmas gifts, the last thing either of us are is materialistic.

I agree - not a great choice.

OP I’m sorry but it’s an awful gift.

It’s just tat and nonsense isn’t it? I wouldn’t have it in my house never mind ON my house! It would go in the bin I’m afraid.

If he asks you if you like it you could say ‘honestly I was really surprised. Those plaques are for dead people and it felt like a jokey gift when I’ve tried to get you something quite thoughtful. I’m a bit hurt really’

Don’t put up something you don’t like. That’s a really clear boundary isn’t it? We don’t have stuff in our homes to appease our bothers. At least I don’t.

I think he got it really wrong.

I actually feel quite sorry for your Brother.
You sound grabby tbh.
I do believe it is the thought that counts, and he obviously thought he had got something unique.

He might have thought the framed photo to gave him was shit!

The purpose of the actual blue plaques is partly to commemorate, but I'd say mainly to give information to people who are unfamiliar with the property.

Having a sign up in your own house, with your name and date of birth on it, for only you and your family to look at.... that's a bit like putting up a sign saying 'Reception' in the hall or 'Toilet ahead and first right' - in your own private house.

He has gone to some trouble to get you an original gift with thoughtful wording. Not your cup of tea ...fair enough. Not mine either but I would be quite touched if my brother went to that much trouble to give me something which he must have though was quite a compliment to you.

I definitely wouldn't be saying that you are disappointed with his gift. I would put it up somewhere, at least for a while. I think he would be very hurt and might not be able to forget it. I would feel it wasn't worth spoiling a good relationship over disappointment over a gift.

Happy 50th birthday anyway OP. Hope you had a good day.

I agree OP it's a sh*t gift. Some people just aren't very good at buying gifts. He did give it some thought though which I guess is nice. I wouldn't say anything though unless you can make it into a joke

Does your d twin visit? Could you put it in your loo or something? He obviously liked the plaque and put effort into it. It just missed the mark. My brother never got me decent stuff before I went nc. This is a lot better than anything I ever got from him.

I don’t think it is like that @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll
I once lived in a house share with a “mind the gap” tube sign by an external door with a bit of a step down as you went through to the garden. I think it’s more like that. Just something to make you smile.

From OP said, the additional info was relevant and thoughtful, whatever it was. So less like having a sign in your kitchen saying “kitchen” and like having a sign in your kitchen saying, “15minutes, b.1972, baker of the finest pavlovas”

To me, it’s on the side of twee and clutter… I’ve seen funny ceramic ones for outside, but this wouldn’t float my boat. But I think it’s a good present idea that missed the mark for this recipient, not a shit gift.

I don't think it's a great gift, and it's not thoughtful, it's more like 'fill in name, date of birth and job' and churned out. I can see why you wouldn't be thrilled. But it sounds like you wouldn't do gifts usually and he's missed the mark rather than anything else, going by the amount of people who do like this type of gift.

I have to agree with the posters saying that your gift to him was
similarly "shit". I'd rather have a blue plaque than a faked photo.

My brother bought me a single earring for Christmas. Just one. Still love him tho

I kind of like it because it lists one of your achievements.

I'm not a fan of personalised gifts at all and when I received a framed picture of the greatest things that happened on the date I was born as a 40th birthday present, I stuck it behind a chest of drawers for a couple of years before binning it.

I don't know where I'd put your gift. Somewhere like the utility room maybe?

It's a great gift although if it doesn't appeal to your humour then fair enough. Likewise, the gift you got him sounds meh to me.

I think it is quite a good present, better than a framed photo or candle anyway.

Ah OP I think you've seen it as "something we get to remember dead people by" and that's obv hit a sore spot so I'm not surprised it's upset you. But I think lots of people would buy for a milestone birthday as a "this is how great I think you are". It's fallen flat because of an association with them he didn't have.

I think it's fab, ...its different, it's personal and at 54 I would love it . I'd hang it on my bedroom door, just so DH knew I was way more entitled to our bedroom space than he was (lighthearted)

Ugh I would hate it. I'd rather a card with a gift card inside and I usually hate gift cards.

Men… I once got a “pretty rock” he had found on the floor. For an occasion. It WAS pretty but still..

I definitely wouldn’t say anything if it was me, I’m not sure what that would achieve? I have spent a lot of time explaining to my Autistic son (who used to be very honest when receiving gifts!! ) that the person has put their time, effort and money into choosing something and even if it’s not something we love we say thank you for those reasons. No need to hurt anyones feelings because they haven’t got it right IMO.

@Skinnymimi

Men… I once got a “pretty rock” he had found on the floor. For an occasion. It WAS pretty but still..

Your brother for a grown up present or your toddler?