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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shit gift

201 replies

15MinutesOlder · 11/03/2022 21:41

Just had my 50th birthday and my twin brother got me one of these

funblueplaques.co.uk/shop/blue-plaque/

I spent ages to find someone that could recreate a picture taken of us as children and then had it mounted and framed. It was his wife’s 50th a couple of months ago and I went halves with our other brother to get her a nice bracelet. I feel for a milestone birthday he’s got it so wrong, it’s like he doesn’t know me at all.

AIBU?

Should I say something or will the fact that it won’t be mounted anywhere say it all?

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 12/03/2022 08:10

Eh?

The name of the shopping centre contrasted with the thread title. Not the most hilarious joke ever, I'll grant you....!

MrsGHarrison87 · 12/03/2022 08:13

Yes it's a shit gift, but it's on a par with a framed photograph. It doesn't matter. I'd only complain about it if my husband bought it as he should definitely know better.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 12/03/2022 08:36

@Ionlydomassiveones

This is why I hate the ‘just be grateful’ mentality. If the choice of a shit gift hurts your feelings it’s not a small thing. Fwiw I think it’s not great but not the worst thing. He probably thinks you’ve got everything and was desperate. A cookbook or a candle is pretty lame too. As is, I hate to say, your gift to him. He’s probably baffled why you’d think he’d want that too. Perhaps you are mind reading twins and both got each other pointless stuff you won’t hang up!
As OPs brother has the photo on display in his home, that's probably an indication he liked it.

A 'great gift ' is something the recipient is happy to receive. The OP has said that she and her brother have a price limit on presents, so it's not that he didn't spend a lot of money.

I think it's tat, and it would be in the bin quite quickly.

Honeyroar · 12/03/2022 09:04

You shouldn’t put them ON your house anyway, surely! The real ones quite difficult to organise in reality, and Jo Blogs putting their own up detracts from the prestige of the real ones imo.

It’s just a little gift. Bit like those “Smith family. Est. 2022” type things people buy for wedding presents. It’s meant to be a bit jokey- not for the dead. It’s not a real one.. Some gifts you like, some you don’t- that’s life. I’d not want someone else choosing what photo from the past I had framed and on display. I’d want to choose my own.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 12/03/2022 10:32

Unlike everything on your list except for the ubiquitous framed photo (usually the desperate last choice for grandparents, surely?) he did at least go for something personalised.

It’s not madly expensive so presumably it is a tribute of admiration for his sister.

Actually they aren’t just for dead people.

My advice: Hang it in the loo, (usual places for gold discs), regain your sense of humour, regain your graciousness, enjoy your birthday.

zingally · 12/03/2022 10:50

Bit shit. Especially as there are MUCH nicer ones than that available. I got an all-metal one for my mum a few years back, after we'd had a crap year as a family. She absolutely loved it, and had it properly mounted on her fireplace. A couple of years later, she asked me for the company who made it, and got one for her BILs 60th. They have it mounted outside their front door!
I didn't get much change from £100 for it.

Theunamedcat · 12/03/2022 10:54

OK I would hate to receive it but I know someone who would like it

So thanks OP your brother gave me an idea 💡

Calandor · 12/03/2022 10:59

Tbf a photo recreated of you as kids would be a shit gift to me. As would the blue plaque. You both tried and that's what counts.

SartresSoul · 12/03/2022 11:00

I like it personally. It isn’t like he just got you some generic chocolates or smellies, I think he put some thought and effort in.

Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 12/03/2022 12:02

Thank you for your comments, I appreciate the opinions except those who got personal.

I don’t dispute that he put thought into the gift. I believe he thought I would like it the same way I like to hope he likes the gift I got for him. I’m not going to share the image but it is from a special time in our childhood and we both love the original that our parents have out so it’s a modern take on something we both have fond memories of. Maybe I should have bought him a blue plaque and he should have got me the family picture. I’ll take on board what a few PP have suggested, lighten up and put it up in the downstairs loo.

OP posts:
greenteafiend · 12/03/2022 12:52

I think putting lots of effort into a gift for something often creates this kind of disappointed reaction if one feels the effort is not reciprocated, and to be honest this is one of several reasons why I avoid doing gifts with most people (that, and I don't want clutter and dust-catchers all over the house). For the next milestone birthday, maybe it would be easier all round to just suggest no gifts and let's put the money towards a nice dinner out together.

gannett · 12/03/2022 13:02

I also think it's a nice gift. Personalised and thoughtful, way more so than toiletries or a candle. You don't have to like it but it's hardly a lazy idea or piece of tat that betrays a lack of effort. It's just less to your taste.

It's also definitely gone on my list of gift ideas for certain people!

OldTinHat · 12/03/2022 13:13

I love it - a million times better than a recreated photo in a frame that I would probably hate and have to remember to put out whenever my twin came to visit.

It's a hilarious gift, has thought behind it and I'd put it up in the garden until it fell apart or in the bathroom above the loo.

Stop being so miserable OP!

MotherofAutism · 12/03/2022 13:24

@ThoseTallTrees

He might be posting: For my fiftieth my twin sister got me a shit photo of us recreating a picture when we were young. I look hideous! AIBU to be sad she didn’t spend more money on something nice?
This
Windypants21 · 12/03/2022 14:07

Honestly if someone got me a picture with my ug mug on it it would never see the light of day. I hate having my pic taken so it would have to be an old picture ...its been so long. If they knew me at all they would know I would HATE that. My sis in law knows I hate my pic but goes out of her way to sneak pictures of me everywhere she can and then broadcasts them, WhatsApp groups Facebook. Etc She's a sweetheart.Grin

Dishwashersaurous · 12/03/2022 14:10

Interesting I don't Associate blue plaques with death at all. Only with achievements and that someone has done something notable.

He would probably be horrified if he thought you were thinking death

Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 12/03/2022 14:31

@OldTinHat duly noted
I’ll take on board what a few PP have suggested, lighten up and put it up in the downstairs loo.

OP posts:
I8toys · 12/03/2022 14:57

I like that its a shit gift and stick it in your downstairs loo. You will remember this and laugh about it longer than a bunch of flowers. Its just a fact some people more thought into gifts than others.

luckylavender · 12/03/2022 15:23

@15MinutesOlder - I think it's quite thoughtful even if not to your taste. I would not appreciate a mounted photograph. Each to his own.

Original poster
15MinutesOlder · 12/03/2022 15:38

@ThoseTallTrees

He might be posting: For my fiftieth my twin sister got me a shit photo of us recreating a picture when we were young. I look hideous! AIBU to be sad she didn’t spend more money on something nice?
@ThoseTallTrees it’s not us recreating a picture, it’s the picture restyled digitally, not Andy Warhol pop art style but that sort explains what was done to the image. We are about 6 in the picture, it was the 70s so we both look fabulous Grin
OP posts:
traintraveller · 12/03/2022 15:43

It's not my idea of a great gift but then the gift you got him sounds awful to me

aSofaNearYou · 12/03/2022 15:46

I think a gift should only be hurtful if it is thoughtless, which you acknowledge this isn't. It just isn't to your taste, but it was a heartfelt gift and that should not upset you.

5foot5 · 12/03/2022 15:57

Any one of the following would have been lovely, I’m easy to buy for:
An autobiography of someone I like
A framed picture of us or our family
Fancy candle
I like heart shaped ornaments
L’occitane toiletries
Cookbooks

Well obviously you think you are easy to buy for because you know what you like!

Presumably he thought the plaque was really cool and something he would like himself so assumed you would. He obviously put some thought in to it. More thought than it takes to buy a fancy candle.

I think I would be amused at something like that and, even if I am not sure where I would actually display it, would find it more engaging than a candle or toiletries

shinynewapple22 · 12/03/2022 16:00

It's not my cup of tea - but it may well be that your brother was a bit meh about the picture you got him, or perhaps his wife considered a bracelet to be a boring present .

I think the harder you try to find the perfect gift, the more likely you are to get it wrong .

OldTinHat · 12/03/2022 16:06

That's more like it OP! Definitely downstairs loo and perhaps add a hook to hang a toilet roll from?!

I do love it though. Happy birthday!!