I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

@TheKeatingFive

Colleagues do not want to see your sanitary pads, loo rolls, toothbrushes, toothpaste or anything like that.

Okay so the work loo has run out of loo roll and you have to take some in. What do you do? Cunningly disguise it in a bag? Stuff it up your sleeve?

I doubt anyone would carry a single loo roll into the toilet at work, a packet of rolls would be put in there surely and in most firms, it's up to the housekeeping department to ensure sufficient supplies.

I've never seen anyone at work carry a sanitary towel across a room to the loo though I don't think it is wrong to do so,; however women usually take their handbag to the toilet with them, period or not.

I don't have a handbag. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I'm not taking my laptop bag in the toilets with me.

I doubt anyone would carry a single loo roll into the toilet at work, a packet of rolls would be put in there surely and in most firms, it's up to the housekeeping department to ensure sufficient supplies.

That's exactly the point, they don't have to. It's supplied for them, unlike sanpro.

Theoretically though, if they did (and presumably people do occasionally have to step into this breech themselves if housekeeping isn't available) would they just walk in with a loo roll in their hand or would they feel the need to put it in a bag?

I don't have a handbag. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I'm not taking my laptop bag in the toilets with me.

What about an envelope? Or a pitta bread? 😂

Colleagues do not want to see your sanitary pads, loo rolls, toothbrushes, toothpaste or anything like that.
Speak for yourself. I couldn't get worked up if I saw these perfectly normal items at work.
Would you be offended if your workplace had a collection for the hygeine Bank and encouraged people to bring stuff like this in??

How the everloving fuck is carrying a small square of plastic in one’s hand not “subtle”?

Ah sorry, didn't realise you were there to know exactly how big the towel was and how subtlety it was carried....

I couldn't have subtlety carried what I needed for my horrendous periods without everyone seeing and I preferred to keep the fact that I needed massive protection and hourly changes private from my colleagues. But I always took my handbag with me anyway so it wasn't a big deal.

I think there are two camps on this thread and we're never going to agree.

YANBU at all and I'm amazed that anyone would actually be offended by the sight of a sanitary towel in 2022. Just shocking.

@Jijithecat

I'm intrigued to know what all the posters who think it 'uncouth' 'unprofessional' and 'indiscreet' will do when they're going through the menopause and experience a hot flash? Depressingly it seems like they would sit there suffering in silence rather than doing something to ease themselves.

Agree. Or how they cope with other symptoms of the menopause which can often directly impact work for many women?

One reason why women leave the workplace in their 50's is due to menopause symptoms. It seems ridiculous that we are so afraid to discuss these that we would rather leave a job than be open about them.

Thankfully the tide is turning on that, albeit slowly.

Who is watching you that closely to notice, creepy.

Also this. Just weird.

@RockingMyFiftiesNot But it’s fine for you to prefer keeping your sanitary protection in your bag, no one’s saying it isn’t. No one’s saying women HAVE to carry their stuff in view. We’re saying it’s OK for OP to do so. And it’s OK to use a bag. What’s not OK is her colleagues’ complaints and the idea of forcing someone to keep their protection in a bag, envelope, pitta bread, pocket, sleeve, sock, bra or jumper.

I work in an environment with a small number of people, mostly women but our immediate boss and a couple others are male. We all sit well within talking distance of each other. We are incredibly open and talk about pretty much anything (nature of the job) and even if one of us decided to get up and announce with a loud speaker that we are off to change our tampon/pad/cup/period product of choice, the only comment from anyone in the room, of any gender, would likely be a jokey one along the lines of making sure we put the kettle on while we’re out the room. I’m not saying anyone would announce with a loud speaker, but I think it’s nice to work with people that really couldn’t care less that people have normal bodily functions.

Fucking hell. Best part of a thousand threads on such a non issue.

Are we women supposed to pretend we don't have periods lest a man who should be concentrating on his work see us carry a little coloured package across an office in our hands?

Plus so bizarre that they actually complained. What's that all about? If they were embarrased about seeing the OP walking about with a towel, they really must have had to pull up their big boy pants to actually talk to someone about it.

Or is it more about an attempt to shame the OP into changing her behaviour and get one over her, because they know it's an issue that would never affect them? And it gives them some sort of kick/power trip?

Why didn’t the manager just ask the crybabies what exactly they were scared of? I assume they have wives, daughters, mums and they have shared loos? God help them if the loos go mixed sex and there is a sanpro machine in there.

Not that odd OP it’s happened to me, or at least something very similar. I had a mesh summer bag over the back of my chair, apparently a male senior manager walked past and could see a box of tampons in it. He complained to my direct, female manager who took me aside and asked me to wrap boxes in a paper bag in future. I was a student doing a temp job so didn’t complain. But I thought it was weird, this was a married man with kids, still wonder how he managed it when it must have involved getting up close to a vagina that might bleed on him, since he was clearly too squeamish to cope with a fleeting glimpse of a tampon box. Happened in a mixed flatshare too when a bloke wasn’t happy that the women in the flat, including me, kept boxes of sanitary products in the bathroom.

This was around twenty years ago when I was a student, find it weird it’s still happening. And, like other posters, makes it clear why so many young women/girls are uncomfortable with their bodies when this kind of shaming is common.

And, I agree, taking a bag to the loo or a small purse is no different, and actually unsanitary. Most communal loos are pretty dirty, so putting a bag on the floor or even on the door of the cubicle will mean it gets a lovely coating of bacteria – the sort that fly around and land on nearby surfaces every time someone flushes without putting the toilet lid down.

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

How the everloving fuck is carrying a small square of plastic in one’s hand not “subtle”?

Ah sorry, didn't realise you were there to know exactly how big the towel was and how subtlety it was carried....

I couldn't have subtlety carried what I needed for my horrendous periods without everyone seeing and I preferred to keep the fact that I needed massive protection and hourly changes private from my colleagues. But I always took my handbag with me anyway so it wasn't a big deal.

I think there are two camps on this thread and we're never going to agree.

You realise we don’t care if you want to hide yours, right? We just want to have the right to carry a pad to the toilet. You already have the right to hide yours.

[quote LemonsLimes]Not read all 31 pages, so not sure if it's been mentioned, but there's an ad on at the moment about period shaming you could send to the boss and complainers abancommercials.com/uk-ad/36974/always-help-stop-period-shaming-always-rethinkyourreaction-advert[/quote]
65% of young people ....

Off topic I know, but, 65% of young people have felt ashamed... NO 64% of young girls/women - not boys/men. Not 'people'

FFS

So has this made the daily Mail yet?

Has anyone worked out if the OP was just being pranked - which seems more likely than this being genuine.

Has anyone said they would carry sanitary pads around actually agreed that they would carry CONTINENCE PADS. - as they are just part of normal life and shouldn't be anythjng to be embarrassed about.

Oh well. It sounds ridiculously unlikely that three people actually genuinely complained about this but let's not let facts get in the way of some frothing - it's better than having to think about everything else that's happening in the world

I preferred to keep the fact that I needed massive protection and hourly changes private from my colleagues. But I always took my handbag with me anyway so it wasn't a big deal

Oh the irony. What do you think people will have concluded from seeing you regularly taking your handbag into the toilets with you?

^65% of young people ....

Off topic I know, but, 65% of young people have felt ashamed... NO 64% of young girls/women - not boys/men. Not 'people'

FFS^

Yes I spotted that. By definition, around 50% of young 'people' will never have a period to have feelings about so from a maths perspective, it doesn't add up that 65% have felt ashamed of their period.

Putting on make-up?

I think there are two camps on this thread and we're never going to agree

Bollox - I bet there are plenty of women that neither think they should be ashamed or embarrassed to have periods and wouldn't mind carrying a sanitary towel in their hand but still want to do it reasonably subtlely

Oh the irony. What do you think people will have concluded from seeing you regularly taking your handbag into the toilets with you?

Almost every woman where I worked took their handbag to the toilet with them to brush their hair/touch up makeup etc. No irony whatsoever.

I wouldn't have been too bothered about this to be honest.

I keep my period discreet, what's the big problem.

Wow. Your colleagues need to get a major grip. Human bodies have natural functions. How utterly delusional to want to pretend otherwise!