I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

Colleagues do not want to see your sanitary pads, loo rolls, toothbrushes, toothpaste or anything like that.

Okay so the work loo has run out of loo roll and you have to take some in. What do you do? Cunningly disguise it in a bag? Stuff it up your sleeve?

And we wonder why we still don't have equality in the work place??!

I know right, this thread is so depressing.

I was heartened by the poster who's menstrual calendar is on the wall though.

Check with HR - this could be considered bullying or harassment under the company’s Dignity at Work policy…

What, are they in the dark ages? Sounds like my mum who told me to keep it in my room so my brothers didn't find it!

Well since leaving my parents house I've always kept sanpro in my bathroom where it's needed. Once my DD's got to 9 or so I explained what they were and they could help themselves when they time came, plus there were other options and to let me know if they wanted to try. They adapted easily when their time came

Colleagues do not want to see your sanitary pads, loo rolls, toothbrushes, toothpaste or anything like that

Don't come work with me then. Colleagues take deodorant out hteir bags all the time. In fact there's a can or two in the staff room.

My boss has 2 jobs shock horror there are a few freshen up items in the staff room.

I was once asked to buy tampons for a work colleague who couldn't get out as she was lone working until I got there.

We might occasionally get a glimps of a change of clothes too of people are off too or cone from.a second job or are cycling home etc

We must be abnormally hardy I didn't know we should be freaking our taking notes and reporting to HR

@Georgeskitchen

I know times have changed but why do you feel.the need to "advertise " your period to the rest of your workforce? Is nothing private anymore? What's wrong with taking your handbag to the loos?

Advertise?

Unless she was singing "bodyform for you.." whilst dancing across the office. It was hardly an advert.

Woman crosses office holding sanitary towel in hand. Yawn.

@TheKeatingFive

And we wonder why we still don't have equality in the work place??!

I know right, this thread is so depressing.

I was heartened by the poster who's menstrual calendar is on the wall though.

It really is.

Add in posters who seem to think that any conversation that isn't about work is unprofessional.

God forbid that you get to know the people you work with as humans. And god forbid any talk of outside influences that may impact your job.

Wonder what these posters think of workplaces embracing menopause training?

@Fairyarmpits

I'm confused by this thread.

Who actually does this? All the people who are agreeing - do you actually do this yourself?

It would be frowned upon where I work.

What's next? Are you going to actually change your pad in the office? While you're on a conference call? While you're standing next to the water cooler? While you're having a 1:1 with your boss? People are saying women shouldn't be ashamed about having a period and don't seem to be concerned about letting their colleagues know when they're on so where does it stop?

I go to work to work. I don't want to know that you are on your period in the same way that the CEO has erectile dysfunction or the young buck in Sales has genital warts.

Women complain they are not taken seriously enough at work and when I read some of the threads on MN I can't say I'm surprised.

I'm confused by your comment. I wouldn't go for a wee in a meeting or on a conference call or any of the random comparisons you came up with. I would wait until I wasn't otherwise engaged and walk to the toilets. Much like if I needed to change my tampon. I would remove it from my bag/drawer and walk to the toilets. Job done.

Comments like yours are counterproductive. You may find women on Monday morning making it a bit more obvious that they're carrying sanitary products to the toilet.

I'm intrigued to know what all the posters who think it 'uncouth' 'unprofessional' and 'indiscreet' will do when they're going through the menopause and experience a hot flash? Depressingly it seems like they would sit there suffering in silence rather than doing something to ease themselves.

@GreenWheat

Personally I think it's rather akin to announcing you're just off for a poo. TMI for the office and discretion is better for all office toilet trips.

Yes I agree with this. Appreciate we're in the minority on this thread, but I don't think suggesting people be subtle about what they're off to the bathroom to do is the same as saying women should be ashamed of periods , or pooing or anything else.

Yes I agree with this. Appreciate we're in the minority on this thread, but I don't think suggesting people be subtle about what they're off to the bathroom to do is the same as saying women should be ashamed of periods

But she didn't 'announce' she was on her period. She just brought what she needed into the loo with her.

Presumably she would bring a loo roll into a loo if that was necessary. Would anyone see that as 'announcing' they needed a poo?

@Jijithecat

I'm intrigued to know what all the posters who think it 'uncouth' 'unprofessional' and 'indiscreet' will do when they're going through the menopause and experience a hot flash? Depressingly it seems like they would sit there suffering in silence rather than doing something to ease themselves.

That’s a strange view. I don’t think I’d want to announce it to all and sundry and make a big thing of talking about being covered in sweat or how I need to change my clothes. I would quietly get on with it. There’s a time and a place . Bodily functions are not something to make a big song and dance about in a work environment.

Are you there, God? It’s me, Mumsnet

@stuntbubbles you are on fire throughout this thread. Loving your work 😂

@Jijithecat

I'm intrigued to know what all the posters who think it 'uncouth' 'unprofessional' and 'indiscreet' will do when they're going through the menopause and experience a hot flash? Depressingly it seems like they would sit there suffering in silence rather than doing something to ease themselves.

I just waited for it to pass. I sat there and focused on it being just a feeling that would pass. I focused on my breathing and how I was ok. It passed. Involving anybody else in those thought processes would have been bizarre. (to me)

I would quietly get on with it.

That's exactly what the OP is doing

Personally, I don’t know why you would basically want the world to know you’re on your period. Is nothing private anymore?

@flyinggeeseagain and @lurking9to5 so you wouldn't open a window? Take off a layer? Turn on the fan? None of these are announcing to the office that you're experiencing a hot flash but they are ways to make yourself more comfortable. Much like just walking across the office with San pro in your hand.

More seriously, I notice the vast majority of posters who object to the OP have seen fit to turn “walking quietly across the office towards the loos carrying a small square of plastic” into “announcing / wafting / making a song and dance about / advertising / talking to all and sundry about / flaunting”.

Maybe reflect on why you feel the need for hyperbole and exaggeration?

I'm guessing it's a new thing for OP to do , or why else would two men complain THIS time. What's the reason for her doing that ?

Personally, I don’t know why you would basically want the world to know you’re on your period. Is nothing private anymore?

Why would you care? At any given moment there's about 15% chance you are. Unless you have internalised the idea that it's 'unclean' why would it matter?

If you go to the loo in the office, it's because you need a pee, poo or to change sanpro (I won't go into any other potential reasons 😵). None are particularly pleasant, but they're facts of life that adults should be capable of acknowledging the existence of.

Bodily functions are not something to make a big song and dance about in a work environment.

Involving anybody else in those thought processes would have been bizarre. (to me)

FFS how is carrying a sanpro item (usually approx 5-6cm square) in her hand "making a song and dance" or "involving other people" ??
They are choosing to look and get offended for some ridiculous reason. Like I said previously if a piece of brightly coloured plastic packaging, in someone's hand, is that distracting for people, I'm not sure how productive they must be.

@Auntieobem

Why does it make people uncomfortable to know someone else has her period??? I just don't get it at all? Why is having your period something embarrassing?

My daughter came home in tears a few days ago- her towel had fallen out of her bag and some boys were teasing her. I thought by the time people were past 12 years old they would grow up - obviously not.

And how bloody sad that grown women are so conditioned to believe that periods are vulgar, shameful, and need to be hidden.

^This.

It's the 21st century and I really thought we'd moved on from this sort of shite.

I'm damn sure that if one of my male colleagues raised this as an issue with our manager, she'd piss herself laughing. I don't know which is worse really, the poor little menz being bothered by something utterly normal or the manager for taking it seriously and not telling them to concentrate on their work and stop their surveillance of whatever their female colleagues are taking to the lav with them.

It reminds me of the outcry when they first started showing sanpro in tv ads, as opposed to using vague language and footage of women playing tennis and roller skating.

I don't think suggesting people be subtle about what they're off to the bathroom to do is the same as saying women should be ashamed of periods , or pooing or anything else.

How the everloving fuck is carrying a small square of plastic in one’s hand not “subtle”? The OP wasn’t slapping her used towels down on Derek and Dave’s desks, or changing into her “I’m on my period, AMA” t-shirt in the foyer.

No wonder there is a cadre of women who think the current genderwoke fads are a load of bollocks, when women are still shamed and made to feel “unprofessional” for a biological function they have no control over. Maybe we should just all identify out of having periods to make the poor uncomfortable menz’ lives easier?

The internalised misogyny on this thread is horrific.

suggesting people be subtle about what they're off to the bathroom to do
Unless OP has a cavernous vagina and a knicker gusset that can only be covered by a sanitary towel the size of an emperor mattress, she was perfectly subtle – a sanitary towel in the hand isn’t a flare gun, neon sign, loudhailer or vuvuzela. It’s a very small item. She walked to the loos with it. That’s it. That’s the whole drama. The issue isn’t with her behaviour – and frankly she could have done the bridal march there with a train of sanitary towels and it would be OK; odd, but OK – it’s the fact her male colleagues are policing and monitoring her behaviour this closely. It’s borderline harassment.

Just want to add my voice to the general outrage OP - no way should you have been told off about this by your manager. Bloody hell it's 2022 and women are still having to deal with this shit.