I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

@Susu49

Actually, there's something to be said for keeping tampons and pads in a pouch to take with you...You wouldn't have to worry about others being embarrassed if you left it on your desk and you could easily take it into meetings in case you needed to dash out

There’s something to be said for just carrying your sanpro when you need it. You wouldn’t have to worry about others being embarrassed if you left it on your desk and you could easily take it into meetings in car you needed to dash out.

I would be talking to HR.

@stuntbubbles you missed my update

@Susu49 So I did! Sorry! My brain auto-skims anything with links as I know I’m too lazy to click them.

@stuntbubbles mine too usually...I tried twice to upload pictures...undermined my point instead!

I wouldn't personally want to advertise to the whole office that it's the time of the month because I prefer stuff like that to be my business and not John in Accounts or Sandra on Reception. You do you though.

I guess if one of the blokes wants to relieve himself in the loo, would you be offended if he walked through the office with a packet of condoms? That would be pretty unpleasant but his argument might be that he's just sorting out his bodily functions in the toilet the same as you.

I think it might be worthwhile to be mindful of where this could lead. There's a lot of oversharing these days and it's generally not making people happier or improving relationships.

It's nothing for your colleagues to complain about however for me it would be about pride and self respect.

I realise you are trying to prove a point but it's not very dignified.

I don't think you did anything wrong but have to say I never, in all my working life, saw someone walk to the toilet holding a sanitary towel. People always took their handbags to the loo whether on period or not.

I find it staggering his many women equate having their period with:
Wanking
Shifting
Farting
Shaving

SO MUCH SHAME

Taking a sanitary towel to the loo should be like taking an aspirin because you've got a headache. Maybe your colleagues ask if you're feeling okay. And that should be it.

@Fairyarmpits

I guess if one of the blokes wants to relieve himself in the loo, would you be offended if he walked through the office with a packet of condoms? That would be pretty unpleasant but his argument might be that he's just sorting out his bodily functions in the toilet the same as you.

It is necessary to change sanpro during the working day.

It's not necessary to have a wank at work.

HTH.

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

It's nothing for your colleagues to complain about however for me it would be about pride and self respect.

I realise you are trying to prove a point but it's not very dignified.

She's not trying to prove a point.

She's trying to change her sanpro during work hours. A necessary thing to do.

Why were you even in the office flaunting your menstruating body like that? You should have been at home or better still in the menstruation hut away from other people in case you infect them with your evil period vibes.

I do hope your manager will look into why the two complainers weren't concentrating on their work.

You should put them in a bag, like this one:

www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1156557160/mini-clutch-period-bag?gpla=1&gao=1&

@Fairyarmpits

Firstly it’s not necessary to have a wank at work. It’s not a necessary body function.
Also how many men wank into a condom?

OP I would be making a grievance to HR as you’ve been singled out for reprimanding because of a female bodily function, it’s a sterile clean product and the men are just uncomfortable as they want to imagine you without the blood.
Shaming you. How do they know it’s not a Tena lady anyway? Seems they are paying an awful lot of attention to what is in your hands

I can’t take my bag to the loo. As we not do agile working we have to take our laptops to work. I take a large laptop backpack and can’t really be carting it off the loo to change my pad . This is sexual discrimination at its finest. I just take mine to the loo in my hand.

however the majority of posters agreeing with OP most likely do not carry their pad across the office.
Maybe not but that doesn't matter, they're supporting her right to carry her sanpro in her hand. It's hardly a big ask of society that a woman can choose to carry her sanpro in her hand rather than having to have it in a bag or pocket or up a sleeve. It's hardly indiscreet either, OPs not exactly flashing her sanpro, though I do find the idea of a dress of dangling tampons alluring, I'd love to see that.

[quote LimeSupper]@TheKeatingFive I don’t think it’s that controversial to say workplace etiquette standards have dropped, is it? I mean, in a variety of ways. People dressing more informally, discussing more topics, eating at desks, all sorts of things. I said I couldn’t and wouldn’t do a number of things others in my office do. For many though, they think it’s better this way and are more comfortable being more relaxed in the office. It’s just a difference of opinion. It’s not about berating others, I personally couldn’t care less if a woman carries a tampon or plucks her eyebrows in the office to use an earlier example, but it’s not something I would do.[/quote]
Oh behave! People have been doing their makeup and eating at desks for decades. It's not new!!!

@Bordois

How many women take their handbags to the toilets with them when they arent on their period?

This. I can't ever bring myself to take my handbag to the toilet, it screams 'period'. I just carry a tampon, and less people probably notice

@TinLeaf

I was too shocked to say much. It hadn’t even occurred to me that anyone might have a problem and It’s only afterwards that I started to feel angry.

I’m not going to change my ways and I’m going to speak to my manager again on Monday.

Tbh OP I wouldn't even bother speaking to the manager again, just carry on as you have been. If it's brought up again, do the same. It's not like they can take formal action over it - that would be discrimination. Tbh I'd be tempted to skip through the office with one in each hand swinging my arms and twirling next time

Ask for cabinets to be put in the bathroom.

@reesewithoutaspoon

Do this, stick it to your head, Its an iPad. Men love tech

Love this.

And this made, hilarious
stuntbubbles
Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

I think it might be worthwhile to be mindful of where this could lead.
One day it’s a sanitary towel, the next it’s an applicator tampon. Towels are just a gateway drug.

@Viviennemary

I think your manager is right. I also hate them being on display in people's bathrooms. Same as a man leaving a pack of durex on his desk. Just no.

But it isn't the same?